Re: Removed Child from district

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/15/2004 7:47:39 PM Eastern Standard Time,

rlw70@... writes:

But no regrets right? In my heart I had to let them try to make something

for her and now that they have and I don't agree that this is appropriate then

I need to remove her even if this is " letting them off the hook " . I only

hope that what I am doing now will in some way impact things for others to

follow me.

No point in regrets, you move forward doing what's best for her. And I

didn't mean to make you feel guilty or rag on you for not fighting the district.

Sometimes that is what is best. Instead of thinking along the line of

" regrets, " focus instead on the good stuff. You have a program that is

appropriate and

available and you can take her there. That is a blessing in itself.

We had no such program. There was no place to go. Ian was not deaf enough

for the D/HOH schools and the private schools had no clue how to address the

needs of an HOH child (but were willing to try). When I look back, I wish I'd

called a lawyer sooner, or made some of those legal moves a year earlier --

but there is no point in reliving all that, it didn't change where we were or

what needed to be done.

The local program they have put in place is insufficient, yes? Can you

continue the fight while she is at northern Voices? Put together documentation

about how that program is superior in addressing her needs and that the local

one falls short? A literal laundry list of the services available at all

times, the staff's educational background and specialized training, the

reinforcment and her advancement in that setting. Paperwork supporting the

placement,

showing how their recommended/created program was not sufficient.

We found that documentation won the day for us. Can you take these 6 months

and establish that Northern Voices is the appropriate placement for her and

eventually force the district to foot the bill? I cringe at the idea of footing

tuition balls -- ours was going to be about $15K just for tuition.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

No point in regrets, you move forward doing what's best for her. And I

didn't mean to make you feel guilty or rag on you for not fighting the district

----- Can you take these 6 months

and establish that Northern Voices is the appropriate placement for her and

eventually force the district to foot the bill? I cringe at the idea of

footing

tuition balls -- ours was going to be about $15K just for tuition.

Best -- Jill

No you didn't make me feel guilty about not fighting right now. I had a real

hard time working this through but have total peace now that the decision is

made.

Taking the remaining of the year to gather data and get all the info in place

is exactly what I plan to do. The one problem that I did have when she was in

both programs is that neither of them could take all the credit and neither of

them could take all the blame. My choice boiled down to just do the district

and let them fail in the way that I knew they would or take her out and prove

what is possible. And I just wasn't willing to risk them failing. The success

is what I was going for.

They have been informed that this is not all over. Each time that they offer

me a plan I have the opportunity to fight this. And that is what I plan to do.

When they offer her the transition options that I am aware of they will not be

appropriate and at this time we will fight.

The tution and the mileage are going to be difficult. We have had to put off

some of our plans for now. Thank goodness that we have scholarships and grants

so much of her tuition will be paid for, we will just have to pay for the

transportation and a small amount of the tuition. The director at the school

has basically told us that we are not to worry about how we will pay for her

schooling there. She will worry about it and get the money to pay for her. Our

job is to get her to the school. So that is what we are going to do.

---

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[Guest guest]

Jill,

You wrote:

That removing needed

services is setting her up for failure and is setting the stage for emotional

damage as she begins to fail and fall behind. That is abusive, it is

intentional negligence ... and that is how we argued that point with our

district. They

backed off really fast.

I haven't read this written so well before and I think it is great. If you

don't mind my asking where did you come up with it? I know several kids that

are/will be fighting the same point as many special education " rules " seem to

force failing, some even forcing failing more than 2 standard deviations.

Mom to 12, 7 (n24 4/00) and 4

----- Original Message -----

From: JillcWood@...

They cannot simply remove services if you and your doctors and professionals

have determined that they are needed. But they may try. Has she tested as

being so far adnvanced as to not need them? You could then argue that her

success is because of the services, not in spite of them. That removing

needed

services is setting her up for failure and is setting the stage for emotional

damage as she begins to fail and fall behind. That is abusive, it is

intentional negligence ... and that is how we argued that point with our

district. They

backed off really fast.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/16/2004 9:28:30 AM Eastern Standard Time,

cmcmurtrey@... writes:

<<That removing needed services is setting her up for failure and is

setting the stage for emotional damage as she begins to fail and fall behind.

That

is abusive, it is intentional negligence ... and that is how we argued that

point with our district. They backed off really fast.>>

<<I haven't read this written so well before and I think it is great. If

you don't mind my asking where did you come up with it? I know several kids

that are/will be fighting the same point as many special education " rules " seem

to force failing, some even forcing failing more than 2 standard deviations.

>>

,

That information was given to us by the psychologist who saw Ian for a

little while. Part of proving our son was not ADD was to go for an evaluation

with

a pyschologist. At the same time, Ian was having a terrible time with school

work. His self esteme was almost non-existant. In one of the more quietly

telling moments of our lives, Ian informed me that I was going to have to accept

the fact that he was just not as smart as I thought he was. It broke my

heart and made me realize that my son needed more than I could give him at that

point. I needed help to help him. So, I talked with our pediatrician and

found a psychologist. They had a few meetings for the evaluation and a few more

for Ian's sake. We also had a couple family meetings for our benefit as well.

Ian was taught some coping skills and had a chance to talk with someone who

wasn't me.

When the psychologist did his write-up for the doctors/school, he included a

paragraph stating that by not providing appropriate services, the district

was causing harm to Ian. To continue with this neglect would result in further,

irreparable damage. He laid the blame for it at the school's feet. When the

doctor gave us the paperwork, he pointed to that paragraph and said " this

will be useful for you when/if you need to sue the district. " He truly believed

they were being negligent and their approach was exacerbating our son's

issues. Rarely have I heard of a professional suggesting a lawsuit, but this one

let us know that there were grounds. He was willing to put that onto paper, so

we used it. I continue to use it everytime I hear even the slighest hint

that they intend to pull Ian's TOD services or refuse to provide any additional

needed ones.

The other thing I should point out is that the doctor I chose was often

hired by our school district to handle evaluations for them. I had hired their

own hired-gun and used it against them. I didn't realize it at the time, but

now I think it was absoluitely brilliant ... I wish I could say I did it

intentionally. But no, I was just looking for the right somone to help my son

and

he was that.

And the district did hint at reducing services once Ian made it onto the

honor roll. In 6th grade he became an honors student almost overnight, once he

had the correct FM system and TOD. A child succeeding at that level doesn't

really need the extra help, right? Wrong.

We argued that he was succeeding because of the services, and that to reduce

or remove them was setting him up for failure. It was experimenting with his

future and we would not stand for that. Given our history with this

district, I immediately let them know that if they ever change his services

without

our permission, they'll have a lawsuit filed as quickly as I can get a lawyer

to draw up the papers. Like I said before, they backed down quickly.

Since then, I've realized that doctor was correct in so many ways for so

many kids. Districts who pull services because children begin to succeed are

setting those kids up for the same emotional trauma my son experienced. And

it's

not necessary. Their argument is that they have addressed or " fixed " the

problem.

But my son can't be " fixed " and that is okay. He is an ongoing creation who

needs help and support to become the functioning, independent man he is

capable of being. If it were as simple as a " fix " then we'd have done it ages

ago

because we love him and hate seeing him struggle. His needs change as he

changes, as he grows. So, his need for services does not go away, it changes

with

him.

A small child in an EI program who achieves the language goals and

benchmarks for his/her age has not outgrown the need for services. Those needs

have

simply evolved. That D/HOH child is now facing new challenges and the people

best prepared to address those needs as they arise are the TODs and other D/HOH

professionals. A 6-year-old does not need learning strategies to help her

take notes in class, but a 3rd grader SHOULD be learning those skills at the

same time her peers are learning them. Classroom teachers, no matter how well

meaning, are not able to help her. Services need to evolve along with the

child. In my opinion, they don't just go away.

Boy, that's quite a rant on my part. Sorry to be so long winded, but this

topic just gets under my skin.

Best to all who are still awake,

Jill

[Guest guest]

> No you didn't make me feel guilty about not fighting right now. I had a

> real hard time working this through but have total peace now that the

> decision is made.<

I can empathize with you 100%. Been there and had that decision to make too.

I decided that if we were to stay an fight, JD would lose more time - and we

had already lost 6 years by trying to make it work. We ended up moving and I

haven't lost any sleep over the decision. Best thing I could have done for

my son. Sometimes I do feel a bit bad about not sticking it out, and

fighting the fight to make things better for others who follow, but I'll be

the first to claim being guilty for putting my own childn's needs first.

;-)

-Kay