Guest guest Posted July 30, 2001 Report Share Posted July 30, 2001 My oldest can have some anger issues to but some of it I think some of it is because she hydrocephalus to and she has problems with her memory to and I think she get frustrated but sometimes also wonder if some of the issues are her CF. It is so hard to try to understand what is going on in there little minds. I also think some of it is because I want them to be able to do everything they can because I don't know how long they will be healthy and not be able to do things so I think well I better let them while they are feeling good. So when I do tell them know they can't understand it because mom always lets us do things. I just wonder how you can let your kids enjoy live without spoily them. Anyone have the answer to this because I would really like to know what I can do. Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2001 Report Share Posted July 30, 2001 Debi, I have lots and lots of e-mail I want to respond to sometime today, but this one really caught my eye (not to mention my attention!). Cody is the EXACT same way--you could have been describing him! It has gotten so bad at times that I've been afraid--afraid that he'd seriously hurt himself or others. In fact, yesterday was a really bad day again--he got upset because he brother picked up his chapstick (at least according to him it's his!), and INSTANTLY lashed out physically and hit DJ with a metal Hot Wheels car--splitting his head open. There was blood everywhere--it was awful!! And earlier, he had gotten angry with DJ and before he got physical with him, I stepped in and told him to go to his room to cool off. He put up a fight about it, and I just kept pointing to the steps and saying " Room--NOW! " , and he came back at me with " Fine, then I'm just going to kill myself! " and proceeded to slam his head into the big square banister at the bottom of the steps--it has a kind of border around it with a pointy edge on it, which is right where he slammed his head--leaving a bruise on his forehead! Then he was angrier at me because of it! And this is just one of many, many episodes--it has been bad enough that we have taken him to a psychologist. He has ended up sending his brother to the ER several times. Then other times he is so sweet and loving! We never finished the therapy with that guy because he rubbed me the wrong way (just a simple personality difference--he seemed to be a nice guy and a good doctor), and we will be seeing someone else for it soon, but one way he explained it was that it's sort of like a " stop " mechanism in his brain isn't working right. For example, when a baby begins walking, he can really get going, but when it comes time to stop, it often takes falling or running into something. Their " stop " part is still developing. Dr. Jagin had us doing several " anger management " exercises, and they worked very well, but before we learned how to move on to the next ones, we stopped going. Now these ones don't work anymore. One thing I want to do is take him to a specialist that works with ODD--Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I hate all these " labels " we have for our kids, but sometimes, they do serve a purpose. AND, if it can get them the help they need, then so be it! I have done a lot of research on this disorder, and these are three of the best sites I've found for it. http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-ch05.html http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Valley/9346/odd.html http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/oddcdpamphlet.htm , mom to Codybug (pwcf, 5-1/2), a (wocf, 12-1/2) and DJ (wocf, 7) smichelle15@... CF and Anger Hi folks- I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. Our 6 year old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger management. He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to get a bit hair-raising. Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. They present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of his activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at all. Chris never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, but the anger thing has been getting worse. He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, either verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting things like " I wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of it " recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not working. There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked with our pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really trusts so I am going to call him today. I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related to the cf at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we have not had experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about the whole cf thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate any thoughts anyone has. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2001 Report Share Posted July 30, 2001 We have and still do struggle with anger issues with who is 5. 6 years old. She has every right to be angry as we were her 7th home before she had even turned three. What we do is let her know that it is ok to be angry. There's nothing wrong with actually being angry, that it is how you deal with it that counts. We have done several things that have worked, time out by the way never worked, because she just got angrier. If she needed to be separated we would tell her that she needed to go to her room and come back when she was happy. She used to stay gone for an hour and eventually she got to where she wouldn't even make it to her doorway before she was coming back in a better mood. And yes, in the beginning she did make terrible messes of her room and would even tear things up. But then she would have to clean up and throw away what she tore up. We would help her a little and explain that this is what happens when we get angry the wrong way. If she had specific issues she was angry about we would do one of two things. We would punch a bop it doll, you know the blow up clown things, and yell with every punch what we were mad at. We went through the dolls rather quickly so a therapist friend suggested we get those fun noodles, they are foam swimming sticks, and cut them in half. Then and I would sword fight. The object was to hit the other person's noodle, not the person them selves. Then when the sticks hit you got to yell why you were angry. It worked well as it used up energy and the anger. Another thing that we do when she is angry at us and can't control herself is to make her sit on the floor beside us and squeeze a soft foam ball as hard as she can. This is for more like spiteful anger at us. When she gets this way, if we just let her go she says regretful things, tries hurting herself, and us. The ball is great because it works out her tension, and she also really hates it. :-) Which makes getting over her anger a little less time consuming. used to try to get a rise out of us by saying the dead thing and would also threaten to run away. All of this at the sweet old age of 4.....We finally told her about the dead thing, that it wasn't nice, wasn't cute and we basically weren't going to listen to her say it anymore, and that if she did she would have to squeeze her ball. About running away, I made her pack her bags and set her out on the door step, shut the door and turned out the porch light. It was night. She decided that that wasn't a good game. She later tried one more time to tell me that she was running away and I told her to go ahead, that the people that would pick her up would be mean and nasty, not let her have any toys, or new clothes and would feed her poop for breakfast. All the while her eyes got wider and wider and she has never mentioned it again and it's been a year. Hang in there. It is tough and really hell on the parent that has to be at home with this. What ever you do, stick to your plan and don't back down. We are behind you one hundred percent and even if your kids don't think so, we know you love them. sorry this is such a book, Dawn mom of 4, 5 and under the youngest wcf CF and Anger > Hi folks- > I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. Our 6 year > old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger management. > He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to get a bit > hair-raising. > Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. They > present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of his > activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at all. Chris > never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, but the > anger thing has been getting worse. > He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, either > verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting things like " I > wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of it " > recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not working. > There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked with our > pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really trusts so I > am going to call him today. > I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related to the cf > at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we have not had > experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about the whole cf > thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. > My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate any thoughts > anyone has. > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > ------------------------------------------- > > > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > IN NO WAY > be construed as medical advice. > > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2001 Report Share Posted July 30, 2001 Dawn, Is adopted if you were her 7th home. CF and Anger > > > > Hi folks- > > I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. Our 6 year > > old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger management. > > He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to get a bit > > hair-raising. > > Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. They > > present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of his > > activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at all. > Chris > > never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, but the > > anger thing has been getting worse. > > He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, either > > verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting things like > " I > > wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of it " > > recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not > working. > > There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked with our > > pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really trusts so I > > am going to call him today. > > I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related to the cf > > at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we have not > had > > experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about the whole > cf > > thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. > > My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate any > thoughts > > anyone has. > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > > ------------------------------------------- > > > > > > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > > IN NO WAY > > be construed as medical advice. > > > > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR > TREATMENTS. > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2001 Report Share Posted July 30, 2001 Yes. We adopted now 5, now 4, and Sammye now 3, all bio-siblings, on October 15, 1999. Dawn mom of 4, 5 and under, the youngest wcf CF and Anger > > > > > > > Hi folks- > > > I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. Our 6 > year > > > old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger > management. > > > He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to get a > bit > > > hair-raising. > > > Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. They > > > present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of his > > > activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at all. > > Chris > > > never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, but > the > > > anger thing has been getting worse. > > > He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, > either > > > verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting things > like > > " I > > > wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of it " > > > recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not > > working. > > > There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked with > our > > > pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really trusts so > I > > > am going to call him today. > > > I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related to the > cf > > > at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we have not > > had > > > experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about the > whole > > cf > > > thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. > > > My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate any > > thoughts > > > anyone has. > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > > > IN NO WAY > > > be construed as medical advice. > > > > > > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR > > TREATMENTS. > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2001 Report Share Posted July 31, 2001 Dawn, That's lovely that all of them could stay together. Did you know she had cf before you adopted her? If you did is this the reason she was up for adoption? A friend of mine who I met through the clinic has three kids of her own and adopted the 4th knowing he had cf. I think that is very special to take it on when you really don't have to. CF and Anger > > > > > > > > > > Hi folks- > > > > I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. Our 6 > > year > > > > old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger > > management. > > > > He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to get a > > bit > > > > hair-raising. > > > > Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. They > > > > present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of his > > > > activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at all. > > > Chris > > > > never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, but > > the > > > > anger thing has been getting worse. > > > > He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, > > either > > > > verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting things > > like > > > " I > > > > wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of it " > > > > recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not > > > working. > > > > There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked with > > our > > > > pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really trusts > so > > I > > > > am going to call him today. > > > > I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related to > the > > cf > > > > at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we have > not > > > had > > > > experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about the > > whole > > > cf > > > > thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. > > > > My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate any > > > thoughts > > > > anyone has. > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > > http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > > > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > > > > IN NO WAY > > > > be construed as medical advice. > > > > > > > > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR > > > TREATMENTS. > > > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2001 Report Share Posted July 31, 2001 Hi Dawn, What's a bio-sibling? Is that a bio-degradable kid? LOL!! OK, I'm a little sleepy tonight. FG, mom of Shantell CF and Anger Hi folks- I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. Our 6 year old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger management. He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to get a bit hair-raising. Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. They present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of his activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at all. Chris never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, but the anger thing has been getting worse. He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, either verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting things like " I wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of it " recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not working. There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked with our pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really trusts so I am going to call him today. I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related to the cf at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we have not had experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about the whole cf thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate any thoughts anyone has. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. ------------------------------------------- The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY be construed as medical advice. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. -------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2001 Report Share Posted July 31, 2001 You know all biological siblings, same mom same dad. I am always getting snide comments from older people who ought to know better about their parentage not being the same as their colorings are all different. could pass for the lilly maid in Tennyson as he is so fair, has slightly olive skin has brown hair and eyes, and Sammye looks like a throw back of her greek/italian ancestors, complete with dark skin, blue eyes and really curly brown hair. :-) So I just save people from wondering anymore and I just say upfront that they are all biological siblings. While I realize you can't see them to ask, it has just become a habit of mine. :-) Dawn mom of 4, 5 and under, the youngest wcf CF and Anger > > > > > > Hi folks- > > I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback > right about now. Our 6 > > year > > old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with > anger > > management. > > He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun > to get a > > bit > > hair-raising. > > Our older son has ADHD, and we're > pretty sure does too. They > > present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms > of his > > activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not > agressive at all. > > Chris > > never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal > with, but > > the > > anger thing has been getting worse. > > He cannot seem to tolerate any > frustration without lashing out, > > either > > verbally or physically. He has even said some > very upsetting things > > like > > " I > > wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in > front of it " > > recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it > is not > > working. > > There are some realy power and control issues going > on. I talked with > > our > > pediatrician and he gave me the name of a > counselor he really trusts > > so > > I > > am going to call him today. > > I just wondered if anyone thought > that any of this is related to > > the > > cf > > at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that > we have > > not > > had > > experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry > about the > > whole > > cf > > thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate > that. > > My husband and I are beside > ourselves. I'd really appreciate any > > thoughts > > anyone has. > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > > http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > > ------------------------------------------- > > > > > > The opinions and information exchanged on this list > should > > IN NO WAY > > be construed as medical advice. > > > > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY > MEDICATIONS OR > > TREATMENTS. > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2001 Report Share Posted July 31, 2001 Actually, doesn't have cf, though she may have asthma. It is our surprise baby Pattimae that has cf. We were told we couldn't have children and so we decided to adopt. We had the kids in our home 2 years before the adoption was final and then low and behold 5 months after it was final we found out that I was three months pregnant. :-) Go figgure. Our crew is rather special though as they were all at great risk of being HIV positive mom is and we are pretty sure dad is only he won't ever say. Two months after we got them, they all had a blood screen that searched for the viruses DNA and all three came back negative. Dawn mom of 5, 4, Sammye 3, and Pattimae 8 months wcf CF and Anger > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi folks- > > > > > I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. Our > 6 > > > year > > > > > old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger > > > management. > > > > > He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to get > a > > > bit > > > > > hair-raising. > > > > > Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. > They > > > > > present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of his > > > > > activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at > all. > > > > Chris > > > > > never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, > but > > > the > > > > > anger thing has been getting worse. > > > > > He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, > > > either > > > > > verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting things > > > like > > > > " I > > > > > wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of > it " > > > > > recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not > > > > working. > > > > > There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked > with > > > our > > > > > pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really > trusts > > so > > > I > > > > > am going to call him today. > > > > > I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related to > > the > > > cf > > > > > at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we have > > not > > > > had > > > > > experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about the > > > whole > > > > cf > > > > > thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. > > > > > My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate any > > > > thoughts > > > > > anyone has. > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > > > http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > > > > > IN NO WAY > > > > > be construed as medical advice. > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR > > > > TREATMENTS. > > > > > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2001 Report Share Posted August 1, 2001 Dawn, Thanks for clearing that up, as you can see I was totally confused. CF and Anger > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi folks- > > > > > > I'm in need of some advice/thoughts/feedback right about now. > Our > > 6 > > > > year > > > > > > old with cf has been having a real hard time lately with anger > > > > management. > > > > > > He has always been pretty high strung, but things have begun to > get > > a > > > > bit > > > > > > hair-raising. > > > > > > Our older son has ADHD, and we're pretty sure does too. > > They > > > > > > present very differently though- Jon is hyperactive in terms of > his > > > > > > activity/energy level and impulsiveness, but is not agressive at > > all. > > > > > Chris > > > > > > never sits still, never stops talking etc. That we can deal with, > > but > > > > the > > > > > > anger thing has been getting worse. > > > > > > He cannot seem to tolerate any frustration without lashing out, > > > > either > > > > > > verbally or physically. He has even said some very upsetting > things > > > > like > > > > > " I > > > > > > wish I was dead " , " I'm going to wait for a car and go in front of > > it " > > > > > > recently. He ends up in time out every day, and frankly it is not > > > > > working. > > > > > > There are some realy power and control issues going on. I talked > > with > > > > our > > > > > > pediatrician and he gave me the name of a counselor he really > > trusts > > > so > > > > I > > > > > > am going to call him today. > > > > > > I just wondered if anyone thought that any of this is related > to > > > the > > > > cf > > > > > > at all, or if this is just just another symptom of ADHD that we > have > > > not > > > > > had > > > > > > experience with. I can't help wonder if he has been angry about > the > > > > whole > > > > > cf > > > > > > thing but in his little 6 year old mind, he can't articulate that. > > > > > > My husband and I are beside ourselves. I'd really appreciate > any > > > > > thoughts > > > > > > anyone has. > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at > > > > http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > > > > > > IN NO WAY > > > > > > be construed as medical advice. > > > > > > > > > > > > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR > > > > > TREATMENTS. > > > > > > > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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