Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 Lori I don't know why we do this but I can totally relate. I upped my carbs the day a guy whistled at me at the gas station and I haven't reduced them since....I am not gaining but pretty much not losing either. I don't know why I did that. I think I'm afraid of the unknown.....I've never had someone whistle at me....it truly scared me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 Sue, If it DOES have to do with what Dante said, it is VERY subconciously. I really don't even think about that. I do think the situation with him is adding to the depression though. As you know, this week will not work for seeing the doctor...until Friday. I think I will call tomorrow and see if I can get in to see her then. I am just SO sick of feeling like this!! I think I am gonna go back to some of my basic meals that worked SO well before...you know, turkey...cheese...tomatoes. I am determined to get back on track! Lori > Lori, > I think you need to talk to you doc again. I don't know if Jerry is > right or not but I also wondered if you are cheating b/c of what > Dante said about how he liked you bigger. Subconsiously it could be > that too. > > But you do seem to be depressed more and you are sounding a bit like > the " old Lori " the one who was unhappy and didn't care about things > and I know you don't want to go back to that. CALL YOUR DOC!!! > Don't let that old unhappy Lori take away our new happy fun and > caring Lori. ;o) > > > -- > Sue Huls > 214/186.5/175 (mini goal) > 3/9/01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 >Sue, >If it DOES have to do with what Dante said, it is VERY subconciously. >I really don't even think about that. I do think the situation with >him is adding to the depression though. I don't think any of it is conciously otherwise I'd be kicking your butt! ;o) I'm sure it is adding to the depression maybe the doc can help. > >As you know, this week will not work for seeing the doctor...until >Friday. I think I will call tomorrow and see if I can get in to see >her then. I am just SO sick of feeling like this!! I hope she can get you in Friday I think it might help a lot. > >I think I am gonna go back to some of my basic meals that worked SO >well before...you know, turkey...cheese...tomatoes. I am >determined to get back on track! > >Lori I just don't see how that can fill you up so much I'd be starving if that's all I ate. Hang in there it will get better -- Sue Huls 214/186.5/175 (mini goal) 3/9/01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 This is something I've been thinking quite a bit about lately. 3 times in the last year I've gotten down to about 215 and 3 times I've bounced right back up to 225 or so. I seem to have some kind of mental block in my head about getting below it. After I get back from Germany I'm going to make another run at getting past it - go back on the elimination diet and get serious. I'm really good at maintaining on low carb - just gotta get back into the mind set at losing again! I'm not sure what my problem is. I've been heavy my whole life, but 3 times as an adult I've made it down to 150 or so and kept it there for a year or more. I enjoy being thinner because it makes being active so much easier! Yet I seem to be resisting get down there again. My hubby has never seen me any thinner than about 215 - we've only been together for a little over 5 years and the last time I was down in weight was about 8 years ago. I don't know if that has anything to do with it at all - he's certainly being supportive of my weight loss even if he has given up on his own :-( I was doing some research on Friday, checking out the hotel in Germany where the conference is. Breakfast is included as part of the room charge (buffet style). Lunch and dinner are included with the conference fee and from their webpage, it looks like those will probably be a buffet as well, so I should be able to stick to low carb fairly easily (so much for good excuses to cheat!). Check this out! My hubby is so jealous! We had hoped he could go with me, but his boss wouldn't give him the time off (no vacations allowed this summer - they are working on a playstation 2 game being released this fall). http://www.allgaeustern.de/ehome2.htm Kirstie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 Lori, I can relate. I lost all my weight on Atkins 2 years ago, then I got pregnant. Part of me wanted to stay on low carb, just up the carbs a bit with fruits and veggies and the occasional treat, but I can pretty much eat what I want when I'm pg and not gain too much. Unfortunately my metabolism goes haywire after delivery and I have a lot of trouble sticking to anything and I end up putting on weight...so I'm starting all over. I tried over and over to restart...since February...and finally I'm back on track and doing great. I can relate to what you're going through, too. I got 50 pounds off and only had 7 to go...and I was having so much trouble sticking to it. I feel so much better when I'm thin, but it's scary, too. Where no one gives me a 2nd glance when I'm heavy, I had people noticing me...and it was really scary. I'm hoping I don't do that to myself this time,I SO enjoyed being thin, but it's a BIG adjustment after being fat for so long! Sue At 04:56 AM 7/8/01 +0000, you wrote: I think I need some help here. I've been told that I am purposely sabatoging my success on this WOE, and I fear that might be true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 Well, sabotage is something one does subconciously. Fear of success is very real and may keep you from attaining your goal. After all, you know what it is to be fat, how to act, how others look at you, etc. What is it to be thin...now how do I act, react to others, what do I do, wear, think, etc. It's a whole new world to be in and it can be very scary especially if there are psychological reasons behind the fat. I know the thought of not being deserving of good things, or looking good. It's heartbreaking. Does your ex know you well enough to be correct in his judgement? I'm pulling for you..I'm glad to see you are determined to get back on track, as you said in another post. It is a long haul well worth the effort for the benefits gained. You are very courageous for posting your feelings and thoughts. You just keep going, remembering we're all behind you for support. Marty he thinks I am sabatoging my success because I am actually succeeding! He thinks that due to issues I have with my childhood (and I guess I do have some issues!!!) that I don't think I deserve something to be going right. He thinks I fear being happy and succeeding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 Jenn! Stop that! Drop those carbs back down again right this minute! You can learn to live with a new body . . .hey, I did! If I can do it, anyone can do it! And, do it now while you are young, sweetie! Terry168/158.75/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined) Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Well, sabotage is something one does subconciously. Fear of success is very real and may keep you from attaining your goal. I can speak to this. The first time I lost weight I was just 17 yrs old. I went down from about 300 to 140 (waaaay to thin but I was a kid). I didn't do it in a healthy way, but I felt great. I was starting to get into some sports and everything that I had never been able to do before. I hadn't weighed at all between 170 and 140, so when I got on the scale, it was a shock. My mind started racing.. did I lose too much, I could see my ribs.. did I look bad, did I do harm to my heart doing that, how could I EVER keep the weight off, on and on.. and I started eating like a pig again right away. I went back up to 175 within a few months, up to 190 for a few years, and then all of a sudden it started packing on. When I went past 250 I just said what the hell (especially since I had found my wife by then and she likes big guys). But when I look back I can see that I totally sabatoged myself right at the start and was really afraid of failure. I was comparing myself to my father (6'5" and a muscular/stringy 250) and my brother (6'6" and about 250 also). I felt like I would always be a weak shrimp (I am just 6') next to them. So might as well be as big as I could.. lots of nonsense reasoning went on in my mind. Turns out my brother, 10 yrs my senior, is now near 400 himself and has diabetes terribly. Should have only put my faith in myself and I would have been so much better off. -- CB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Lori, Being thin is NOT for sissies! You are charting unexplored territory . . . braving the wilds of Looking Good Land . . . . fighting off the attentions of well-intentioned (and not so well-intentioned!) males everywhere! No wonder you're scared! Hey, I've been there . . . the good news is you survive, and your mind gets wrapped around your new body image, and someday, the picture in your head matches the reflection in the mirror. And you find that you begin to ENJOY being hot, hot, hot! And I'm not talking climate, Baby! I'm talking Red Hot Mama! So, Lori, galvanize yourself . . . . you can do it. Don't be afraid. Life is good here in Thin City, where clothes shopping is easier, compliments are flung at you left and right, and we are healthy and happy! Terry168/158.75/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined) Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 >Does your ex > know you well enough to be correct in his judgement? > Well, he's known me for about 7 years...and yeah, he does know me pretty well. He's one of my biggest ego boosters these days. He tells me alot how good I look and things like that. I know he wouldn't just say it to be nice! Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 I think this subject of sabotage is really pretty serious. For some it's not really sabotage they're just hitting a " set point " and it's harder to convince the body to continue losing. For others though, it might take some time with a therapist to work things out. There is a whole grief process involved in saying good bye to our old bodies. Also, for anyone who was heavy from an early age, that whole teenage growth experience on flirting was missed. Is anybody else old enough to remember an episode of Marcus Welby where the high school kid lost her extra 40 pounds or whatever over the summer and went back to school as a babe? She didn't handle it properly and wound up with an STD. I mentioned this when I was joking around with a psychiatrist a month or so ago and said I was concerned that when I was a " babe " I'd turn into a floozy. He asked me if I seriously thought that I would make decisions I'd normally consider wrong just because they were now viable options. I had to tell him that I learned my lesson from my post-divorce floozy period and wouldn't ever do it again. There're some very real issues involved in becoming a SEXY person. Anyone who feels they're sabotaging their diet really should consider seeking professional help. However, if you're just not losing and only wonder if you're doing it to yourself then at least go through the menu posting routine or maybe do turtle menus to see if you can budge the scale. Wanda - my 2 cents _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 >>...compliments are flung at you left and right, and we are healthy and >>happy! You don't think Terry's new fame is going to her head do you? Wanda _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Anyone > who feels they're sabotaging their diet really should consider seeking > professional help. However, if you're just not losing and only wonder if > you're doing it to yourself then at least go through the menu posting > routine or maybe do turtle menus to see if you can budge the scale. > > Wanda - my 2 cents Wanda, Have you been talking to my ex-husband??!! LOL Not only is he talking to me about all of this, he also thinks I should talk to a professional. I am calling my doctor tomorrow and maybe once I talk to her she can help me decide what to do. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 This part is SO true, I drove my husband crazy I have a drawer full of frilly things just waiting to fit again. Sue At 07:33 PM 7/8/01 -0400, you wrote: > . And you find that you begin to ENJOY being hot, hot, hot! And I'm > not talking climate, Baby! I'm talking Red Hot Mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Well, yes, Lori, your husband and I chat often. NOT! Many years ago, about a year after my divorce, my life changes kinda crashed in on me and I fell apart. A friend, who's a therapist, told me to get my butt into a therapist's office pronto. I did. She then referred me to a shrink because she felt I needed medication. He prescribed paxil but I continued to see her for almost two years (she told me to go away, I didn't need her anymore). I highly recommend therapy to everyone. I find now that when situations come up that bug me I can consult the therapist in my head and talk through, with myself, how she would have gone through things with me. It helps so much. Yes, now I'm talking to myself and have an invisible therapist but I'm not depressed anymore, or feeling the need to please everyone, or putting everyone else's needs before mine, or trying to figure out what people *really* meant by what they said. Wanda _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Wanda, Terry168/158.75/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined) Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Thanks, Wanda...for sharing with me. I guess I'm just a bit scared to go see someone....but I really want to feel better!! > Well, yes, Lori, your husband and I chat often. NOT! > > Many years ago, about a year after my divorce, my life changes kinda crashed > in on me and I fell apart. A friend, who's a therapist, told me to get my > butt into a therapist's office pronto. I did. She then referred me to a > shrink because she felt I needed medication. He prescribed paxil but I > continued to see her for almost two years (she told me to go away, I didn't > need her anymore). I highly recommend therapy to everyone. I find now that > when situations come up that bug me I can consult the therapist in my head > and talk through, with myself, how she would have gone through things with > me. It helps so much. > > Yes, now I'm talking to myself and have an invisible therapist but I'm not > depressed anymore, or feeling the need to please everyone, or putting > everyone else's needs before mine, or trying to figure out what people > *really* meant by what they said. > > Wanda > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 I think that's what scares me this time. I got pregnant and that's what triggered me gaining all my weight back, but I was really disappointed in myself that I didn't get and keep my act together. I'm really afraid of getting to goal and then slip sliding my way back up again! Sue At 10:12 PM 7/8/01 -0400, you wrote: But when I look back I can see that I totally sabatoged myself right at the start and was really afraid of failure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Terry, ROFLMAOWTRDMF. You princess! Wanda _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Lori, Seeing a therapist is totally painless. It actually becomes something you look forward to. You get a chance to talk to someone who can't be offended by anything you say. You won't be judged and you will actually be heard. I had told that therapist friend of mine something the very first time we spoke. A year or so later it came up and I was astounded. I said " you were actually listening? " Duh. (He's in Fullerton, CA, if anyone needs a therapist in that area.) Find someone you're comfortable talking to. For most people someone their own sex is easiest. It's also generally easier with someone either your own age or older. Whoever you see isn't going to tell you you're crazy. They're going to give you a chance to voice all those things you never even realized you were thinking and then help you deal with them. Wanda _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Sue, If you have a goal range instead of a set number, wouldn't that alleviate the fear of failure? If your actual goal is, say 100, then you say that if your weight gets to 105 you need to start writing down what you're eating and actually counting the carbs and if you go over the 105 you go back on induction till the weight is gone again, then you can't fail. Now, YOU are in control. That number moves a nudge over 100 and YOU have the power to do something about it. You have a plan. Failure is not possible because you know how to get back on track and, besides, Her Royal Purple Highness will kick your butt. Wanda _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Wanda, I have to admit....this list is a bit of therapy for me already. I think I am just scared of what I might say....I may scare myself with things I didn't know I was keeping inside. Does that make any sense??? > Lori, > > Seeing a therapist is totally painless. It actually becomes something you > look forward to. You get a chance to talk to someone who can't be offended > by anything you say. You won't be judged and you will actually be heard. > > I had told that therapist friend of mine something the very first time we > spoke. A year or so later it came up and I was astounded. I said " you were > actually listening? " Duh. (He's in Fullerton, CA, if anyone needs a > therapist in that area.) > > Find someone you're comfortable talking to. For most people someone their > own sex is easiest. It's also generally easier with someone either your own > age or older. Whoever you see isn't going to tell you you're crazy. They're > going to give you a chance to voice all those things you never even realized > you were thinking and then help you deal with them. > > Wanda > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Wanda, Terry168/158.75/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined) Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 hehe... I am sorry, I have to giggle at this ... because at 100 OR 105 I would be dead.... sorry... these tiny weights seem so unrealistic for someone of my stature... anything below 148 for me looks and feels anorexic... but dont let me being a dork about the numbers today put anyone off... more power to you little people!! Hugs, -----Original Message-----Sue,If you have a goal range instead of a set number, wouldn't that alleviate the fear of failure? If your actual goal is, say 100, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Lori, It does make sense but that's why the therapist is in the room too. They know how to take you through things at the right pace and how to help you deal with whatever comes up. Don't worry. You'll be glad you did it. Wanda _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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