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Lori

I don't know why we do this but I can totally relate. I upped my carbs the day

a guy whistled at me at the gas station and I haven't reduced them since....I am

not gaining but pretty much not losing either. I don't know why I did that. I

think I'm afraid of the unknown.....I've never had someone whistle at me....it

truly scared me!

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Sue,

If it DOES have to do with what Dante said, it is VERY subconciously.

I really don't even think about that. I do think the situation with

him is adding to the depression though.

As you know, this week will not work for seeing the doctor...until

Friday. I think I will call tomorrow and see if I can get in to see

her then. I am just SO sick of feeling like this!!

I think I am gonna go back to some of my basic meals that worked SO

well before...you know, turkey...cheese...tomatoes. :) I am

determined to get back on track!

Lori

> Lori,

> I think you need to talk to you doc again. I don't know if Jerry

is

> right or not but I also wondered if you are cheating b/c of what

> Dante said about how he liked you bigger. Subconsiously it could

be

> that too.

>

> But you do seem to be depressed more and you are sounding a bit

like

> the " old Lori " the one who was unhappy and didn't care about things

> and I know you don't want to go back to that. CALL YOUR DOC!!!

> Don't let that old unhappy Lori take away our new happy fun and

> caring Lori. ;o)

>

>

> --

> Sue Huls

> 214/186.5/175 (mini goal)

> 3/9/01

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>Sue,

>If it DOES have to do with what Dante said, it is VERY subconciously.

>I really don't even think about that. I do think the situation with

>him is adding to the depression though.

I don't think any of it is conciously otherwise I'd be kicking your

butt! ;o) I'm sure it is adding to the depression maybe the doc can

help.

>

>As you know, this week will not work for seeing the doctor...until

>Friday. I think I will call tomorrow and see if I can get in to see

>her then. I am just SO sick of feeling like this!!

I hope she can get you in Friday I think it might help a lot.

>

>I think I am gonna go back to some of my basic meals that worked SO

>well before...you know, turkey...cheese...tomatoes. :) I am

>determined to get back on track!

>

>Lori

I just don't see how that can fill you up so much I'd be starving if

that's all I ate.

Hang in there it will get better

--

Sue Huls

214/186.5/175 (mini goal)

3/9/01

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This is something I've been thinking quite a bit about lately. 3 times in

the last year I've gotten down to about 215 and 3 times I've bounced right

back up to 225 or so. I seem to have some kind of mental block in my head

about getting below it. After I get back from Germany I'm going to make

another run at getting past it - go back on the elimination diet and get

serious. I'm really good at maintaining on low carb - just gotta get back

into the mind set at losing again!

I'm not sure what my problem is. I've been heavy my whole life, but 3 times

as an adult I've made it down to 150 or so and kept it there for a year or

more. I enjoy being thinner because it makes being active so much easier!

Yet I seem to be resisting get down there again. My hubby has never seen me

any thinner than about 215 - we've only been together for a little over 5

years and the last time I was down in weight was about 8 years ago. I don't

know if that has anything to do with it at all - he's certainly being

supportive of my weight loss even if he has given up on his own :-(

I was doing some research on Friday, checking out the hotel in Germany where

the conference is. Breakfast is included as part of the room charge (buffet

style). Lunch and dinner are included with the conference fee and from

their webpage, it looks like those will probably be a buffet as well, so I

should be able to stick to low carb fairly easily (so much for good excuses

to cheat!).

Check this out! My hubby is so jealous! We had hoped he could go with me,

but his boss wouldn't give him the time off (no vacations allowed this

summer - they are working on a playstation 2 game being released this fall).

http://www.allgaeustern.de/ehome2.htm

Kirstie

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Lori, I can relate. I lost all my weight on Atkins 2 years ago, then I

got pregnant. Part of me wanted to stay on low carb, just up the carbs a

bit with fruits and veggies and the occasional treat, but I can pretty

much eat what I want when I'm pg and not gain too much. Unfortunately my

metabolism goes haywire after delivery and I have a lot of trouble

sticking to anything and I end up putting on weight...so I'm starting all

over. I tried over and over to restart...since February...and finally I'm

back on track and doing great.

I can relate to what you're going through, too. I got 50 pounds off and

only had 7 to go...and I was having so much trouble sticking to it. I

feel so much better when I'm thin, but it's scary, too. Where no one

gives me a 2nd glance when I'm heavy, I had people noticing me...and it

was really scary. I'm hoping I don't do that to myself this time,I SO

enjoyed being thin, but it's a BIG adjustment after being fat for so

long!

Sue

At 04:56 AM 7/8/01 +0000, you wrote:

:( I think I need some help here. I've

been told that I am purposely

sabatoging my success on this WOE, and I fear that might be true!

:(

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Well, sabotage is something one does subconciously. Fear of success is very

real and may keep you from attaining your goal. After all, you know what it

is to be fat, how to act, how others look at you, etc. What is it to be

thin...now how do I act, react to others, what do I do, wear, think, etc.

It's a whole new world to be in and it can be very scary especially if there

are psychological reasons behind the fat. I know the thought of not being

deserving of good things, or looking good. It's heartbreaking. Does your ex

know you well enough to be correct in his judgement? I'm pulling for

you..I'm glad to see you are determined to get back on track, as you said in

another post. It is a long haul well worth the effort for the benefits

gained. You are very courageous for posting your feelings and thoughts. You

just keep going, remembering we're all behind you for support.

Marty

he thinks I am sabatoging my success because I am

actually succeeding! He thinks that due to issues I have with my childhood

(and I guess I do have some issues!!!) that I don't think I deserve

something to be going right.

He thinks I fear being happy and succeeding.

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Jenn!

Stop that! Drop those carbs back down again right this minute! You can learn to live with a new body . . .hey, I did! If I can do it, anyone can do it!

And, do it now while you are young, sweetie!

Terry168/158.75/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined)

Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com

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Well, sabotage is something one does subconciously. Fear of success is very

real and may keep you from attaining your goal.

I can speak to this. The first time I lost weight I was just 17 yrs old. I went down from about 300 to 140 (waaaay to thin but I was a kid). I didn't do it in a healthy way, but I felt great. I was starting to get into some sports and everything that I had never been able to do before. I hadn't weighed at all between 170 and 140, so when I got on the scale, it was a shock. My mind started racing.. did I lose too much, I could see my ribs.. did I look bad, did I do harm to my heart doing that, how could I EVER keep the weight off, on and on.. and I started eating like a pig again right away. I went back up to 175 within a few months, up to 190 for a few years, and then all of a sudden it started packing on. When I went past 250 I just said what the hell (especially since I had found my wife by then and she likes big guys). But when I look back I can see that I totally sabatoged myself right at the start and was really afraid of failure. I was comparing myself to my father (6'5" and a muscular/stringy 250) and my brother (6'6" and about 250 also). I felt like I would always be a weak shrimp (I am just 6') next to them. So might as well be as big as I could.. lots of nonsense reasoning went on in my mind. Turns out my brother, 10 yrs my senior, is now near 400 himself and has diabetes terribly. Should have only put my faith in myself and I would have been so much better off. -- CB

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Lori,

Being thin is NOT for sissies! You are charting unexplored territory . . . braving the wilds of Looking Good Land . . . . fighting off the attentions of well-intentioned (and not so well-intentioned!) males everywhere!

No wonder you're scared! Hey, I've been there . . . the good news is you survive, and your mind gets wrapped around your new body image, and someday, the picture in your head matches the reflection in the mirror. And you find that you begin to ENJOY being hot, hot, hot! And I'm not talking climate, Baby! I'm talking Red Hot Mama!

So, Lori, galvanize yourself . . . . you can do it. Don't be afraid. Life is good here in Thin City, where clothes shopping is easier, compliments are flung at you left and right, and we are healthy and happy!

Terry168/158.75/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined)

Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com

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>Does your ex

> know you well enough to be correct in his judgement? >

Well, he's known me for about 7 years...and yeah, he does know me

pretty well. He's one of my biggest ego boosters these days. :) He

tells me alot how good I look and things like that. I know he

wouldn't just say it to be nice! :)

Lori

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I think this subject of sabotage is really pretty serious. For some it's not

really sabotage they're just hitting a " set point " and it's harder to

convince the body to continue losing. For others though, it might take some

time with a therapist to work things out.

There is a whole grief process involved in saying good bye to our old

bodies. Also, for anyone who was heavy from an early age, that whole teenage

growth experience on flirting was missed.

Is anybody else old enough to remember an episode of Marcus Welby where the

high school kid lost her extra 40 pounds or whatever over the summer and

went back to school as a babe? She didn't handle it properly and wound up

with an STD. I mentioned this when I was joking around with a psychiatrist a

month or so ago and said I was concerned that when I was a " babe " I'd turn

into a floozy. He asked me if I seriously thought that I would make

decisions I'd normally consider wrong just because they were now viable

options. I had to tell him that I learned my lesson from my post-divorce

floozy period and wouldn't ever do it again. :)

There're some very real issues involved in becoming a SEXY person. Anyone

who feels they're sabotaging their diet really should consider seeking

professional help. However, if you're just not losing and only wonder if

you're doing it to yourself then at least go through the menu posting

routine or maybe do turtle menus to see if you can budge the scale.

Wanda - my 2 cents

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>>...compliments are flung at you left and right, and we are healthy and

>>happy!

You don't think Terry's new fame is going to her head do you?

Wanda

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Anyone

> who feels they're sabotaging their diet really should consider

seeking

> professional help. However, if you're just not losing and only

wonder if

> you're doing it to yourself then at least go through the menu

posting

> routine or maybe do turtle menus to see if you can budge the scale.

>

> Wanda - my 2 cents

Wanda,

Have you been talking to my ex-husband??!! LOL Not only is he talking

to me about all of this, he also thinks I should talk to a

professional. I am calling my doctor tomorrow and maybe once I talk

to her she can help me decide what to do.

Lori

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This part is SO true, I drove my husband crazy :) I have a drawer full of

frilly things just waiting to fit again.

Sue

At 07:33 PM 7/8/01 -0400, you wrote:

> . And you find that you begin to ENJOY being hot, hot, hot! And I'm

> not talking climate, Baby! I'm talking Red Hot Mama!

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Well, yes, Lori, your husband and I chat often. NOT!

Many years ago, about a year after my divorce, my life changes kinda crashed

in on me and I fell apart. A friend, who's a therapist, told me to get my

butt into a therapist's office pronto. I did. She then referred me to a

shrink because she felt I needed medication. He prescribed paxil but I

continued to see her for almost two years (she told me to go away, I didn't

need her anymore). I highly recommend therapy to everyone. I find now that

when situations come up that bug me I can consult the therapist in my head

and talk through, with myself, how she would have gone through things with

me. It helps so much.

Yes, now I'm talking to myself and have an invisible therapist but I'm not

depressed anymore, or feeling the need to please everyone, or putting

everyone else's needs before mine, or trying to figure out what people

*really* meant by what they said.

Wanda

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Thanks, Wanda...for sharing with me. I guess I'm just a bit scared to

go see someone....but I really want to feel better!!

> Well, yes, Lori, your husband and I chat often. NOT!

>

> Many years ago, about a year after my divorce, my life changes

kinda crashed

> in on me and I fell apart. A friend, who's a therapist, told me to

get my

> butt into a therapist's office pronto. I did. She then referred me

to a

> shrink because she felt I needed medication. He prescribed paxil

but I

> continued to see her for almost two years (she told me to go away,

I didn't

> need her anymore). I highly recommend therapy to everyone. I find

now that

> when situations come up that bug me I can consult the therapist in

my head

> and talk through, with myself, how she would have gone through

things with

> me. It helps so much.

>

> Yes, now I'm talking to myself and have an invisible therapist but

I'm not

> depressed anymore, or feeling the need to please everyone, or

putting

> everyone else's needs before mine, or trying to figure out what

people

> *really* meant by what they said.

>

> Wanda

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

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I think that's what scares me this time. I got pregnant and that's what

triggered me gaining all my weight back, but I was really disappointed in

myself that I didn't get and keep my act together. I'm really afraid of

getting to goal and then slip sliding my way back up again!

Sue

At 10:12 PM 7/8/01 -0400, you wrote:

But when I look back I can see that I

totally sabatoged myself right

at the start and was really afraid of

failure.

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Lori,

Seeing a therapist is totally painless. It actually becomes something you

look forward to. You get a chance to talk to someone who can't be offended

by anything you say. You won't be judged and you will actually be heard.

I had told that therapist friend of mine something the very first time we

spoke. A year or so later it came up and I was astounded. I said " you were

actually listening? " Duh. (He's in Fullerton, CA, if anyone needs a

therapist in that area.)

Find someone you're comfortable talking to. For most people someone their

own sex is easiest. It's also generally easier with someone either your own

age or older. Whoever you see isn't going to tell you you're crazy. They're

going to give you a chance to voice all those things you never even realized

you were thinking and then help you deal with them.

Wanda

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Sue,

If you have a goal range instead of a set number, wouldn't that alleviate

the fear of failure? If your actual goal is, say 100, then you say that if

your weight gets to 105 you need to start writing down what you're eating

and actually counting the carbs and if you go over the 105 you go back on

induction till the weight is gone again, then you can't fail. Now, YOU are

in control. That number moves a nudge over 100 and YOU have the power to do

something about it. You have a plan. Failure is not possible because you

know how to get back on track and, besides, Her Royal Purple Highness will

kick your butt.

Wanda

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Wanda,

I have to admit....this list is a bit of therapy for me already. I

think I am just scared of what I might say....I may scare myself with

things I didn't know I was keeping inside. Does that make any sense???

> Lori,

>

> Seeing a therapist is totally painless. It actually becomes

something you

> look forward to. You get a chance to talk to someone who can't be

offended

> by anything you say. You won't be judged and you will actually be

heard.

>

> I had told that therapist friend of mine something the very first

time we

> spoke. A year or so later it came up and I was astounded. I

said " you were

> actually listening? " Duh. (He's in Fullerton, CA, if anyone needs a

> therapist in that area.)

>

> Find someone you're comfortable talking to. For most people someone

their

> own sex is easiest. It's also generally easier with someone either

your own

> age or older. Whoever you see isn't going to tell you you're crazy.

They're

> going to give you a chance to voice all those things you never even

realized

> you were thinking and then help you deal with them.

>

> Wanda

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

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hehe... I am sorry, I have to giggle at this ... because at 100 OR 105 I would be dead.... sorry... these tiny weights seem so unrealistic for someone of my stature... anything below 148 for me looks and feels anorexic... but dont let me being a dork about the numbers today put anyone off... more power to you little people!! :)

Hugs,

-----Original Message-----Sue,If you have a goal range instead of a set number, wouldn't that alleviate the fear of failure? If your actual goal is, say 100,

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Lori,

It does make sense but that's why the therapist is in the room too. They

know how to take you through things at the right pace and how to help you

deal with whatever comes up. Don't worry. You'll be glad you did it.

Wanda

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