Re: Struggling - long whinge, sorry

[Guest guest]

>> Anyone have any ideas, how I can get motivated about life

again??

Being stuck in the house with ill children is bound to make you

feel down. I had this a few weeks ago, and it is very difficult.

Perhaps once they are back in a better routine then things will

seem a bit easier. You need a break - can anyone babysit at all

so you can grab a few hours out on your own?

Forget the ironing and cleaning - just while you sort yourself out.

- or is it possible to get a cleaner temporarily?

Tell everyone how down you are - or speak to your health

visitor?Do you think you should be checked for PND?

We are all here for you

Caroline

[Guest guest]

>>Do you think you should be checked for PND?

We are all here for you

Caroline<<

I had PND with my first and as DS3 is now a year, shouldn't I be over that? I

think it is cabin fever. They have all gone down with colds now and I'm not

getting the sleep so it is probably a combination of things, but as I have

actually logged on today and shared my depression, then I must be better,

mustn't I??

Thanks for listening.

Mc

SAHM 6, Olivia 3, 2, 1

Nearly Ex-Editor Wallingford and District

[Guest guest]

Mc wrote

Anyone have any ideas, how I can get motivated about life again??>

It is an awful feeling when you just can't get back on top of life,

especially I imagine with the thought of Easter Holidays looming.

Can you get a break from the children?

Someone mind them for a few hours?

Partner/family have some time to look after them?

Get time to have a bath with candles for company?

I took to my bed a couple of weekends ago, because I was feeling so down and

generally unwell, and it did me the world of good.

I forgot my diet, forget the housework as much as I could, and spent the

following week recuperating. Would that help you?

Make sure you get out each day, even if it is only a walk to the shop/end of

the street/post box, then at least you can feel you have achieved something

and with weather like we have had today it will make you feel good.

Hope you feel better soon

Trisha

[Guest guest]

, you are a marvel. I felt like this before I left the UK and I

only have one child to worry about and she wasn't even ill. At least

I knew that one day I would shut the door and get on a flight and if

it wasn't sorted, it wasn't to be sorted. Bearing in mind my visa to

enter Australia didn't arrive until after my initially-booked flights

had left the UK!

PLease take the time to deal with one thing at a time and decide what

you can live with and what is essential. Do clothes need to be ironed

or does the dryer do a good-enough job (it does in this house)?

Does anyone but you care how tidy the house is? If your own bedroom

is tidy and can be your haven, is that good enough for you?

I struggle with weight myself so know how de-motivating that can be.

If you've lost it once, you can lose it again - I have just lost again

the stone I lost in the first month of last year and re-gained over

the next 11 months. PLease don't fret about it. We will help you in

any way we can.

I see that 'Nearly Ex-editor' is still hanging around. When's it

disappearing?

--

Sue

[Guest guest]

> as I am currently struggling with being very down..............

> Anyone have any ideas, how I can get motivated about life again??

Not easy is it? I have gone back on the Saint 's Wort (SJW), which seems

to be helping, but it doesn't take much to set me off again. I went to an

exercise class last night and had to give up half way through. The teach

said something must be wrong with me as I was taking it VERY easy for the

first half. I mentioned getting over the flu (end of February!!) and she

said I could be " post-viral " . I think I have been " continuous-viral " since

last November (which co-incidentally is when I had stopped the SJW!) The

virus' seem to have cleared up at last but what with the tiredness, knee

pains, breast soreness (EVERY MONTH for 2 weeks at least!!!) it is enough to

make you just sit down and cry!

I would say pray - but I seem to have lost my faith aswell

I hope this " helps " if only to say you are NOT alone - although feeling like

this makes you feel VERY alone indeed - and even harder if impossible to

make friends!

[Guest guest]

- sorry to hear you sounding so down. Can I just say I know how you

feel. So much so that I went to my doctors yesterday just to rule out

anything physical (anaemia, thyroid etc).

It is tough looking after children, even more so if they are not well. Can

you get any time to yourself at all?

Hope things improve soon

> I haven't been posting for a while. I have to confess to deleting my post

for the last week or so as I am currently struggling with being very down.

>

> Anyone have any ideas, how I can get motivated about life again??

>

> Mc

[Guest guest]

If I could have put it better myself, I would have. It is my

birthday today and have been in such a bad mood recently I let it all

out on DH yesterday. something to the effect of why the bl**dy h*ll

do I bother when I turn around and it instantly looks like I haven't

lifted a finger!! I have a full time tidying occupation!

We have also got a new puppy this week which is proving to be worse

than having a new baby, sleepless nights and instead of pooey

nappies, I and cleaning up the kitchen floor approx every 15 minutes.

Sweet home life!

Try to get at least 20 mins a day/night to yourself in the bath or

something, use loads of nice smellies, lavender essential oil is

really good and just pretend that you are the only one in the house.

if this is impossible give the kids to a friend and go to Sainsburys

on your own!, Tues mornings are good cos it is normally pretty

quiet. It is somethines the only way I get to think uninterupted.

When things get really bad during the day, I put the kids in a safe

place, go into the garden and tense up every muscle like a board,

then when you relax, then you can put things into perspective. Just

remember it is a phase which will eventually pass!!!!!

I can advise you on what aromatherapy oils are good, if you would

like, e-mail me personally, and like someone else mentioned St s

wart works, but check about mixing medication if you are on any, as

it can have an effect on the pill.

I have to make myself go out every day even if only for 10 minutes, a

I never completely got over PND, and as you can tell it is all too

easy to shut yourself off when you feel low, and probably the worst

thing to do. You need to see plenty of other people getting on with

everyday things, and sainsburys will give you the chance to watch

other mums struggle with their little monsters. Just to prove you

are not alone.

Keep in touch, as writing is also good therapy!

Good Luck

Kirsten

Woking and Knaphill membership-sec, Mum to Kes (puppy, 8 weeks),

(20mths) Step-mum to shelby (5yrs)

and trainee Aromatherapist. and hopefully soon to be Antenatal

trainee.

> I haven't been posting for a while. I have to confess to deleting

my post for the last week or so as I am currently struggling with

being very down.

> Being stuck in with the children during their chickenpox finished

me off as I was just about coping before then.

> It isn't anything in particular but I can't seem to get a grip on

life. Everything is just too much effort. The diet has completely

gone to pot, the ironing is piling up, I tidy up and then wonder why

I bothered as the children appear to follow behind undoing everything

I do.

> I know this is life with small children especially those as close

in age as mine but I am just not getting anywhere.

> I can't get motivated to do anything. I had lost 7lbs in 3 weeks

and now it is all back on.

> I just want to cry all the time. I am shouting at the children and

in general not being a nice person.

> I am fed up with DH's family as no one except his parents

remembered DS3 1st birthday. In the mood I am in I want to ring them

up and shout at them, but this is really over the top.

> I swore at the British gas woman this morning for messing my

appointment about, which really isn't my style.

>

> Anyone have any ideas, how I can get motivated about life again??

>

> Mc

> SAHM 6, Olivia 3, 2, 1

> Nearly Ex-Editor Wallingford and District

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> I haven't been posting for a while. I have to confess to deleting

my post for the last week or so as I am currently struggling with

being very down

I managed to lose my first response!

Firstly, you are not alone and I am sure that I write for a lot of us

who have been there and despaired, screamed at the kids and DH and

then beat our selves up over it - we are not Superwomen but try to

think that we should be.

Do you have any family, friends, anyone? close by who could either

take the kids off your hands or look after them whilst you go out?

Above all else you need some time to be YOU, and breathe again.

Don't try to achieve the impossible, write a short (and do-able) list

of things that you would like to do for you - read the paper, have a

cappuchino, put on some make-up - anything and start there - you can

get more adventurous with time.

Is the house going to fall down or the kids suffer if there is a pile

of ironing and a little dirt? - I should imagine not. It is easy for

me to sit and write this now but only just recently I was in the smae

place as you, but I have made myslef give up a little of my time with

the children to give me a little of my life back and it has helped

immensley.

Where do you live? Are any of us near by? Can we help? Take you

out? Take the kids off your hands for a few hours?

Just remember above all else you are not alone. Scream and Rant as

loud as you want here - we will not judge you.

Beverly

[Guest guest]

Hugs

Cerys

-----Original Message-----

From: McCarthy

Thanks for listening.

Mc

[Guest guest]

> Being stuck in with the children during their chickenpox finished me off

as I was just about coping before then.

- I'm really sorry you're having a tough time - ill children make

everything much much harder. I don't have any ideas to suggest (I find 2

children hard work - so can only imagine how to deal with 4 poxy ones) - but

I hope as they recover & the weather improves you find everything easier to

cope with. Please look after yourself!

Leighton-Young

[Guest guest]

> I am currently struggling with being very down.

, I've started a reply to your post 3 or 4 times and ended up deleting

it as I have nothing constructive to say. Masses of sympathy though -

looking after small children is *hard*, it goes on and on, so many mind

numbingly boring little jobs that need doing again as soon as they are

finished, and nobody says thank you. All I can suggest is to try and drop

the non-essential jobs. Don't do the ironing (I cannot bear to put unironed

clothes away in drawers. I have however discovered that wearing unironed

clothes straight from the ironing basket is not a problem), don't bother

putting the hoover round, only tidy up the toys once a day. And use any

time you gain to do something for you, something you enjoy, whether that be

relaxed playing with the children, a long soak in the bath or an evening in

front of the TV.

Hugs,

Lynda

SAHM to (8), (5), Fraser (3), Callum (15/5/00)

Newsletter editor, Mid-Northumberland Branch

Area Rep, Region 7

www.familygarland.co.uk