fw:Women 's humour

[Guest guest]

>ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND . . . .

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

--Helen (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

--Janette Barber

Who ever thought up the word " Mammogram " ? Every time I hear it, I think

I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.

--Jan King

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

--Lily Tomlin

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

-- Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

--Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first is hitting my head

on the top bunk bed until I faint.

--Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

--Bette

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

--Rhonda Hansome

The phrase " working mother " is redundant.

--Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.

-- Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half

as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

--Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts

falling apart.

--Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at

once.

-- Unlimited

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a

horrible warning.

-- Aird

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years

before they realized I actually had a hearing loss...and they called ME

slow!

--Kathy Buckley

Behind every successful woman . . . is a substantial amount of coffee.

-- Piro

Behind every successful woman...... is a basket of dirty laundry.

--Sally Forth

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a

peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to

impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER WOMEN!

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