Re: Working Question

[Guest guest]

> Hi Yve! I am a mommy to two CI kiddos... is five and has been

implanted for a year and a half. Beth is 19 mo. and has been

implanted since September of this past year. I am a teacher and work

full time outside the home. My husband works about an hour form our

home and often has long hours associated with his work.

I can completely understand your feelings of " juggling " it all. With

the girls, I have often had to take of multiple days at a time.

is now in school which helps the situations some... when there are

not days she is off and I am working. She goes full day to a public

school that specializes in auditory services. She started half day

there when she was three. Prior to that, I had her in a private home

daycare. All of her ECI and speech services were provided either

there or at home in the evening.

has been in a small church daycare not far from where I work.

She is very happy and I like the social aspects of her school. It has

been a struggle to have the staff understand the inner workings of

her hearing and the importance of her wearing the processor. It has

been a year now and we are finally getting to a point where eveyrone

feels better. I have an auditory teacher that comes to her daycare

once a week and a speech therapist twice a week. Both of her teachers

are working with and the staff. I have made extra time to

explain things... offered all the videos and books for them to read.

They are even learning some sign to help with communication (yes, we

do sign... total communication is our approach for the kids).

I will not lie... it is a daily struggle... I would not know what to

do if I was not having to juggle things. I keep my eye on the goal is

for the girls to be happy, confident kids... which they are. I drive

about an hour and half for the appointments each way twicew a month.

I like being in the school system where I would hope I have educated

the educators to see what it is truly like for some of our parents

who live with a child or children with disabilities. Many of my

fellow teachers have sat and wondered how it is done... lots more

empathy for others, I hope.

For our family with both the girls, I work to help with the medical

expenses... as I am sure you know... insurance covers some but not

all. Even after the intial diagnosis, MRI/CT scans, sugery, and year

of monthly mappings, we still have the insurance for the processors,

batteries and our part of the deductables for speech therapy ( as

many therapist are not AV or well practiced with CI kids).

I would do what is best for your family... for us it is better for me

to work. We have had the stuggles of where to place the girls as we

live outside of Houston and no other family within four hours, but we

have trudged through it and are finally getting into a grove after a

few years. This is not to say we will not have other hurdles, but we

are feeling more at ease these days...

On the note of the doctor... I have never had one say anything quite

as rude and non-understanding to me, but we have also struggled with

pediatric doctors who knew nothing about kids with profound hearing

loss. I did a bunch of calling and asking aorund until we now, again

after a few years, are with a doctor that we like and that

understands that is we call and say there is a chance there might be

an ear infection... they get us right in knowing the history.

Keep your head up and knowing you are the parent and you know what is

the best thing for your child and family! Take care!

- mommy to 5 yrs. and Beth 19 mo. both profound with CI

> Hi Everyone!

>

> I just want to do a quick informal poll...How many of you with

> implanted toddlers work outside of the home? How do you manage

> daycare, therapy appointments, etc?

>

> I am a stay-at-home Mom homeschooling our older two and our 1yo has

> just been implanted. We live in a rural area, and will have to

> travel away from home (minimum 2 day trip) every other week for

> aural rehab, audiology appointments, etc.

>

> Our pediatrician recently told me (loudly in the hallway with

plenty

> of other patients around to overhear) that he saw no reason why I

> couldn't get a job, since other parents whose children have chronic

> disabilities can manage to work and still get the children to

> doctor appointments. I was rather taken aback, but now am really

> wondering how this juggling act is accomplished? How well do

> recently implanted toddlers do in full time group daycare?

>

> I am still trying to decide if this boor just hit me in a sore spot-

-

> classic homemaker's guilt that I should be out there " working, " or

> if there is some merit to his opinion.

> We have no nearby relatives who could help. My husband works 12

> hour shifts 6 days a week, and there isn't much in the way of night

> shift jobs in this small town that I could do while he is at home.

> Please let me know how you manage these issues.

>

> Thank you,

>

> Yve

[Guest guest]

For me, I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I remember when I got

married my husband asked me to work for 6 months to help pay off a few bills,

well, 6 years later I was still working :-) I loved my job, dont get me wrong, I

was a preschool teacher at a Montessori School, it was great! But, I love

staying home more. Being that traditional wife and mom is what I have always

wanted to be. So when Zain was born 10 1/2 months ago and I found out he had a

bilateral hearing loss, I decided that it was time for me to quit working and

stay home. We make lots of sacrifices for that to happen. My husband does not

make ideal money for me to be a stay at home mom, but it is something I had to

do. This has worked for us. But, I know moms out there do work and they make it

work for them. So, I think that it is all up to you, and honestly, I think your

Doctor should have kept his opinions to himself. Good Luck.

[Guest guest]

Hi Yvette,

I too am a domestic diva Our daughter is aided and not implanted

but I have no doubt the amount of work is the same. We have taken

the total communication route, so I drive 60 miles a day just for

her school, then on Thursdays attend a Parent Support group, Weds is

ASL class at a local college, Thursday is ASL class in our home for

our family and friends and on the weekend we usually attend some

Deaf event. Currently my daughter has speech therapy 3 times a week

in school, but once regular school is out for summer she will be

attending a full time summer school and speech therapy outside of

school. At home, speech and language is focused on 24/7. We do

reading and spelling excerises in the morning and before bed, and I

try to take her as many places as I can because I believe real world

experiences are the best lessons for deaf children. All of this is

done using two languages at once (english and ASL), which I tell you

drains you mentally after a while. However my daughter is doing so

well, she's so happy and so far so enjoys everything she does. If it

ever gets to a point that she feels like she's being over worked I

would pull back, but right now I can't seem to dish out the language

fast enough. I worked in the entertainment industry for years and

years prior to having children, I always thought those hours were

insane, sometimes 14-16 hours a day. However being a stay at home

mom hands down is the hardest job I have ever done! It is more

physical and emotional than I could have ever imagined. Add a deaf

child to the mix and my God, I feel like i'm working three jobs. I

talk so much during the day, repeating words over and over so that

my daughter can absorb them, that by the time she's asleep I just

want to stare at a tv screen or read a book and not have to speak a

word. Not to mention all of the visits to audiologist, ENT's, etc. I

tell my friends that I'll rest once she's in college:)

I think that doctor was way out of line and I don't think he really

understands how much work is involved in raising a deaf child. You

should'nt feel quilty for a second for staying home. The time that

we have with our children as children is so short. If you've made

the choice to stay home, and it works for your family, go for it!

Good Luck,

Apryl

Have 2 goregous girls, Zahra (4 yr, deaf) and Ashanti (almost 1

year, hearing)

>

> Hi Everyone!

>

> I just want to do a quick informal poll...How many of you with

> implanted toddlers work outside of the home? How do you manage

> daycare, therapy appointments, etc?

>

> I am a stay-at-home Mom homeschooling our older two and our 1yo

has

> just been implanted. We live in a rural area, and will have to

> travel away from home (minimum 2 day trip) every other week for

> aural rehab, audiology appointments, etc.

>

> Our pediatrician recently told me (loudly in the hallway with

plenty

> of other patients around to overhear) that he saw no reason why I

> couldn't get a job, since other parents whose children have

chronic

> disabilities can manage to work and still get their children to

> doctor appointments. I was rather taken aback, but now am really

> wondering how this juggling act is accomplished? How well do

> recently implanted toddlers do in full time group daycare?

>

> I am still trying to decide if this boor just hit me in a sore

spot--

> classic homemaker's guilt that I should be out there " working, " or

> if there is some merit to his opinion.

> We have no nearby relatives who could help. My husband works 12

> hour shifts 6 days a week, and there isn't much in the way of

night

> shift jobs in this small town that I could do while he is at

home.

> Please let me know how you manage these issues.

>

> Thank you,

>

> Yve

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/19/2005 1:14:34 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

geminigroove@... writes:

that by the time she's asleep I just

want to stare at a tv screen or read a book and not have to speak a

word.

Exactly! My husband and I have evolved to a stage where we sit

side-by-side, reading or whatever, in complete silence when the kids aren't

here. We did

this for about 3 hours one Sunday afternoon while the kids were both out at

their activities. At one he commented on enjoying the quiet and we both just

smiled and went back to our reading. It was delightful

I've decided this must define some stage of marriage. We've been together

for 25 years. We talk plenty, but the quiet is such a welcome change lately.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

I work out side the home on a part time basis. But then I do a ton of

Parent Advocacy stuff also. So I end up working as much as a full time

job.

I am really shocked that your Dr. said this to you. It was my choice

to go back to work, mostly because Allie is an only child and I wanted

her to have the language models of her peers. She is doing really

great in Preschool she is mainstreamed with no, FM or sound field. I

monitored her at first but she is really thriving in the environment.

As for if you can put a 1 yr old in a program. Sure, there are many

parents who send their kids to school and have great results. It does

take a little work to find a good daycare or preschool program that is

attentive enough to check batteries regularly make sure the device is

on etc. But it can be done. As for how I manage speech appointments.

Well I work at my daughter's speech therapy office But many

working parents schedule the appointments at the same time every week

and just take off from work. early or come in late for appts. Most

employers are accommodating. Also some daycare, preschool centers will

allow your SPL to come on site for visits.

But honestly if you don't want to work out of the home. I wouldn't let

a comment from your Pediatrician make you reconsider being a SAHM.

just my 2 cents,

Angie

Allie 3 yrs (N24 right 12 months, N24k left 32 months)

>

> Hi Everyone!

>

> I just want to do a quick informal poll...How many of you with

> implanted toddlers work outside of the home? How do you manage

> daycare, therapy appointments, etc?

>

> I am a stay-at-home Mom homeschooling our older two and our 1yo has

> just been implanted. We live in a rural area, and will have to

> travel away from home (minimum 2 day trip) every other week for

> aural rehab, audiology appointments, etc.

>

> Our pediatrician recently told me (loudly in the hallway with plenty

> of other patients around to overhear) that he saw no reason why I

> couldn't get a job, since other parents whose children have chronic

> disabilities can manage to work and still get their children to

> doctor appointments. I was rather taken aback, but now am really

> wondering how this juggling act is accomplished? How well do

> recently implanted toddlers do in full time group daycare?

>

> I am still trying to decide if this boor just hit me in a sore spot--

> classic homemaker's guilt that I should be out there " working, " or

> if there is some merit to his opinion.

> We have no nearby relatives who could help. My husband works 12

> hour shifts 6 days a week, and there isn't much in the way of night

> shift jobs in this small town that I could do while he is at home.

> Please let me know how you manage these issues.

>

> Thank you,

>

> Yve

>

>

>

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is

> the intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

> restrictions.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Yvette, from a working mom and wife's point of view...I had to

find a job that was (very) flexible....I was upfront with my

employer making them aware of my daughter's issues, but regardless,

I have fallen into " dock days " because there just are not enough

paid days off. Also this was my first year in current job so

I did not qualify for the Family Leave Act...however, I do not blink

an eye when it comes to getting the best services...we drive 1 hour

each way to get to the pediatric audi (as needed for mappings and

other unforeseen issues) and again to the Cert. AVT once a

week....if you decide to work, I'm sure with your dedicated nature

as a mom who stays at home...home schooling...the ultimate career,

I'm sure you will find it second nature. What is your daughter's

communication mode....in AVT, or auditory learning, your family is

the key factor to your child's success....staying home, you can

replicate so many opportunities for learning and engage in

opportunities for language enrichment.

As far as your toddler being in a daycare, just pick carefully. Our

daughter benefited greatly from being around her peers...she was

able to be emersed in age appropritate language and speech

development. This helped my daughter learn the social aspects of

communication.

Now, when I here you speak of being a home schooling mom, I'm

envious. We have had such difficulty with the public school system

providing approriate services and ....well, I could go on,

but.....the fact is...most schools are limited and time is precious

when it comes to your little one. You are your child's best teacher

and your child's best advocate.

I have had to rely on my husband more...to pick up where I leave

off, or let it fall.....getting home at 7:00 pm from therapy, he is

reponsible for feeding the family...that night.....

What I would ask myself is......what is the " job " that you would do

and will it fill your soul, because you know that your child will be

taken of regardless because she is yours and you are commited to

your family....so look at what you will be getting from working....I

actually enjoy what I do, so it works for me....

I really don't know if this makes since...as my husband walks in

with dinner....looks like Jack-in-the-Box.....for those of you who

don't know...that's burgers and fries....

>

> Hi Everyone!

>

> I just want to do a quick informal poll...How many of you with

> implanted toddlers work outside of the home? How do you manage

> daycare, therapy appointments, etc?

>

> I am a stay-at-home Mom homeschooling our older two and our 1yo

has

> just been implanted. We live in a rural area, and will have to

> travel away from home (minimum 2 day trip) every other week for

> aural rehab, audiology appointments, etc.

>

> Our pediatrician recently told me (loudly in the hallway with

plenty

> of other patients around to overhear) that he saw no reason why I

> couldn't get a job, since other parents whose children have

chronic

> disabilities can manage to work and still get their children to

> doctor appointments. I was rather taken aback, but now am really

> wondering how this juggling act is accomplished? How well do

> recently implanted toddlers do in full time group daycare?

>

> I am still trying to decide if this boor just hit me in a sore

spot--

> classic homemaker's guilt that I should be out there " working, " or

> if there is some merit to his opinion.

> We have no nearby relatives who could help. My husband works 12

> hour shifts 6 days a week, and there isn't much in the way of

night

> shift jobs in this small town that I could do while he is at

home.

> Please let me know how you manage these issues.

>

> Thank you,

>

> Yve