Seeing yourself on Video tape

January 15, 2001

I thought it would be a good idea to film myself prior to surgery, and then

keep progress of my weight loss on video tape after surgery. When I had my

VBG, I didn't keep any kind of visual records of my weight loss. (I avoided

cameras at all cost.) I lost 120 lbs. and couldn't see the loss on my body

when I looked at myself in the mirror. Granted, 120 lbs. lost on a 484 lb.

body is barely a drop in the bucket...but I was hoping for some sort of

visual hint as to the loss. I barely even went down one size in clothes.

This time I want to see the progress. Believe it or not, I've NEVER seen

myself on video tape. We've never had a camcorder, and I've never bothered

to ask to see myself on any of my friends' tapes. My husband and I went out

and bought a brand new camcorder over the weekend that has all the bells and

whistles. (Those suckers aren't cheap!) We took it home and played with it

all day on Saturday. Saturday night we viewed our silly escapades of the

day......and I was horrified. :-(

Who WAS that person doing an incredibly poor imitation of my likeness?? I

didn't recognize the voice, the mannerisms....nothing. I waddle when I walk,

I breathe heavy, and what the heck was my hair doing?! Where did that huge

double chin come from?? I think the ONLY thing I kinda liked was the

personality....and even that's iffy. I seemed genuine, kind, and fun.....but

it just didn't match my appearance.

That was such an incredibly weird experience. I just don't know what to

think. All I know is that this surgery couldn't come too soon for me. At

least I can't possibly look any worse after this surgery.

Anybody else have similar experiences?

Connie G. in IL

VBG in 1997, BMI 65 and climbing <sigh>

Open BPD/DS w/ Dr. Maguire in OH on 2/6/01

Approved through BCBS of IL

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