Guest guest Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Thank you very much. Well, I attempted to be with my ex fiancee two days ago (when my pain was at about a 4 out of 10), all non PIV. We attempted him doing oral stimualtion and ever since my pain has shot back up to a 10, and I feel bruised also? For right now, I feel like its hopeless, there really isnt anything he can do " down there " ....so I guess I am just going to put it all off altogether. What about biofeedback, I start that in about a month. If I cannot handle a tounge (I have vv and vagunismus), a tampon, or a finger, how will I be able to do biofeedback? Is it true with the therapy most women formerly incapable of penetration can resume an intimate relationsip and/or insert tampons again? Also, is this procedure lengthy? Thanks again! > > I would say, there are a lot of different ways to be intimate. I hope you > can get to the point where the acute pain is gone. Aiming for intimacy > without " PIV " intercourse can be liberating. It takes some time and > confidence to learn what feels good for you and to ask for it in bed. And, > you need to find a partner who is comfortable letting you " take turns " doing > whatever feels best for *you*, and you doing what feels best for *him*. > > my ex-husband was never comfortable letting me do what felt best to me. He > said it made him feel like I was using him like a dildo. The guy I took up > with after him, was happy to see me enjoying pleasure and knew that I was > just as happy to see *him* enjoying pleasure. I could not do everything he > liked, but the things I could do, we enjoyed a lot. > > Use the time between relationships to explore your own feelings and see what > feels good, or not so bad, to you. Get to know your own body and what sorts > of touches are OK. > > (I'm going to recommend a reading site: http://www.cleansheets.com .. See > what fires your imagination...) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Thank you very much for your reply. Well, I am not going to be dating anytime soon. My exfiancee and I are no longer together, but we attempted non penetrative intimacy and my pain is through the roof. Im just staying away from dating for now:-( Have you ever had a relapse after surgery? I was told by my diagnosing doctor that I have a " very bad case " of vestibulits and " have developed " vaginsmus and that surgery would " not be an option " for me. I'm confused, isnt surgery the resort to take if everything else fails? Becuase I will try anything just to feel good again? Did you have to go through many other treatments before having surgery? > > Well the topic does come up from time to time on this list but can never be > brought up too often. It is a real challenge for women with our issues to > aproach a man about our problem as it interfears wtih intimacy. > > I struggled with my husband for years before finding success with surgery. > But what I went through before hand gave me insight. In my opinnion (which > will likely be contested by others as everyone has their own opinnion on > this) is that the right time to share that information is after you get to > know the guy and have been on a few dates but just before you become > seriously intimate. I would not necessarily share this information with a > friend from work, so I don't think that someone I have just gone on a few > dates with needs to know about it right away either. I think we deserve a > chance for the guy we are pursuing to get to know all of our positive > atributes first. > > I have a friend with vv who is going through this same issue right now and I > asked my husband who now has experience in the matter for his opinnion and > his opinnion was " before intimacy or before jewlery whichever comes first " . > > As for how to bring it up thats hard too, but I would wait for one of those > moments where you guys are sharing things about yourselves or having a deep > conversation and use that as an oportunity to bring it up. > > Bringing up the subject of vv with guys is a tough one and there is no real > rules about it. I guess it comes down to telling him when your heart tells > you the time is right. > > > > > > " Without rabbits a rabbits foot would be nothing but a disimbodied hand full > of unidentified toes. " > > -Pogo > > _________________________________________________________________ > Fixing up the home? Live Search can help > http://imagine-windowslive.com/search/kits/default.aspx?kit=improve & locale=en-US\ & source=hmemailtaglinenov06 & FORM=WLMTAG > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2007 Report Share Posted January 6, 2007 It IS not only likely but expected that people who go through physical therapy will be able to have less pain (or no pain) with sex. It takes time and your pt should be able to tell you how much time based on your symptoms. Remember it took time to build up to having so much pain so be patient. Possibly discuss a pain med or anti-anxiety with your doctor in order to make pt endurable at the very first few appointments???? Lindsey __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2007 Report Share Posted January 6, 2007 It IS not only likely but expected that people who go through physical therapy will be able to have less pain (or no pain) with sex. It takes time and your pt should be able to tell you how much time based on your symptoms. Remember it took time to build up to having so much pain so be patient. Possibly discuss a pain med or anti-anxiety with your doctor in order to make pt endurable at the very first few appointments???? Lindsey __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2007 Report Share Posted January 6, 2007 Hi, I think I have read studies that say that surgery for patients with both vestibulitis and vaginismus are not as successful because of the vaginismus. However, please get a second opinion from another doc, you owe it to yourself. Surgery is usually a last resort but has both helped some and hurt others. Get all of the info, talk to a specialist or another doc who knows something about it. Lindsey __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2007 Report Share Posted January 6, 2007 Hi, I think I have read studies that say that surgery for patients with both vestibulitis and vaginismus are not as successful because of the vaginismus. However, please get a second opinion from another doc, you owe it to yourself. Surgery is usually a last resort but has both helped some and hurt others. Get all of the info, talk to a specialist or another doc who knows something about it. Lindsey __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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