Re: CHAT on chores

[Guest guest]

Here's the rule regarding chores that I read often in those " MOM " magazines.

They recommend to teach our kids responsibility, ie. you are part of this family

and there are certain things you MUST do and NOT be paid for them. Then,

depending on their age, you decide what those things will be. Usually it starts

with " you have to put away your toys " . Then from there

I guess it's whatever the family wants. I think things like putting your dirty

dishes in the sink and garbage in the pail are expected.

Then they suggest the extra jobs are " allowance " jobs. Depending on the child it

could be taking out the garbage or washing dishes (I haven't even got the 11

year old on that yet, she doesn't wash them so that they are clean and it drives

me nuts--I have to set myself a goal there). When I hurt my back I gave her the

job of vacuuming--ya--5 strokes down the

middle of the floor and the thing was put back away. I taught her, but she's

still not up to my standards (it's hard to let go when we have ways of wanting

it done!!!)

Making their beds and putting dirty clothes in the hamper are non allowance

jobs. It's part of living in the same house.

My daughter has to carry the laundry down for me (bad back again); I don't see

that as a big stress so she doesn't get paid, but sorting all the clothes into

Mom, Adam and Colette baskets does warrant some money.

Taking care of pets, depending on the job can be a paid one or not. Also in the

good weather I've enlisted help with gardening for " dough " . Snowshovelling in

the winter can earn ya a bit of money.

I don't think I do it enough.

These wonder magazines also suggest that they should be given a certain amount

of money each week regardless of what they do or don't do (as the case may be).

To teach the value of money. But they suggest a percentage goes into savings and

a percentage goes into spending.

It seems so complicated for me. My 11 year old has a good handle on the money. I

have managed to by pass that fight for the chocolate bars at the check out by

saying " while I'm running my groceries through, you can have a quarter for the

candy machines " . This weekend, the daughter said " no thanks I have my own

quarter " . Hey kid--free money and you turned it

down???????

As for Adam, he did get an allowance (in the true sense for awhile) usually 50

cents here or there if he did an extra job helping mom, but to tell you the

truth, I got so tired of picking up the quarters off the floor (he'd line them

up to look at, or pile them inside some forgotten game) that I gave that one up

too.

So I usually reward the trip to the store with the gum ball machine thing. That

saves there. And every couple of weeks or so I will say " OK let's go to the

treat store " . So when I have to run in for milk but am not going to buy them

anything, they know that sooner or later I'll let them get a little something

again. And it all has to be under 1.00 (remember the

days when our parents thought giving us a quarter was a huge deal????)

This routine has been going on for a couple of years. It doesn't happen over

night. g or sweeping I think would be money jobs. Hanging up your coat

etc. a family responsibility.

Sorry to ramble on for so long. But I've just seen so many articles on this, I

know it all off by heart.

I think 5 is too young to teach the value of money. They are not capable of the

concept of a penny vs. a dollar. At 5, you could give 10 pennies or one quarter

and they get more excited over the 10 pennies. It works in that you don't have

to fork out a lot of allowance but he doesn't really buy anything. And then you

have the whole issue of trying to explain that

your five pennies will not buy that new 50.00 doll!!!!

I'd say, continue to buy after traumatic events. It's her reward and she

deserves it!! And do a couple of trips to the corner store in close succession

and one time buy her something, the next time don't. And you can say " well you

just got so and so but next time we are here, we'll see " . Then do it. And then

let two or 3 visits go without buying and see how that

goes.

It has worked for us. It's about the only thing I DON'T have problems with (LOL)

Debby

JBSalem@... wrote:

> - is that your address " ischool2@... " I read and

Charissa, so I am guessing it is you, but didnt' recognize the email address.

>

> Can I ask maybe a dumb question? just turned 5 and her little brother

will be 4 in a month. is a spoiled boo boo when it comes to presents.

First there was Christmas, then she was in the hospital, then she had her BDay.

But it has gone on so much longer. Our fault - whenever she would get a blood

test, etc., we would bribe with a present.

>

> Well... now she always wants something for herself. Her brother isn't like

this at all.

>

> So.... my husband is wondering if it is time to start an allowance to teach

her the art of money.

>

> And if so, do we tie it to chores? If not, which one do I start first?

>

> Anyone with older kids - can you help? is actually a very emphathic

little girl. She delivers Meals on Wheels with me, etc., and is so sensitive to

others. But she can't go into any store without wanting something for

herself!!!

>

> HELP!!! Salem