Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 And by the same token, there is a lady who had surgery not quite a year ago, Super, about 520, 5'3 " . She's lost 230+ lbs in one yr. she is practically uncontainable!!!!!! WOWOWO! And of course, at only one year, she is still going strong. Perhaps she will never reach 120 or 130#, but she is happy as she can be even so. We never see her at mtgs because she starts work at 5am. :-( Thanks, Puyallup, WA (state) Website: www.vitalady.com To check out PayPal: https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com It happened again! > Well, twice in less than a month...another old friend passed my by in the > grocery store yesterday...and registered NO recognition at all. I couldn't > believe it...and feel like crying when it happens. Guess it should make me > happy, but it feels like I'm being snubbed. I know in my logical head that > isn't the case...but just something I am going to have to get used to for > awhile until all my " old " friends that I don't see on a daily basis see me. > Good thing my DH was along with me...he is my identifier...he chased her > down...after I had gone and gotten him and told him what had > happened..AGAIN!!! She looked at me...and said...I just don't recognize you > at ALL!!! And came over and gave me a great big hug!! She had to know first > off...if I was feeling okay....guess first thing people think is...does she > have cancer or something? I had to tell her I have never felt so good!! > EVER!! Then she just HAD to know what, how, when, who...etc. etc. etc. I > wasn't so bold last time this happened a couple of weeks ago...and I didn't > confront the person who totally turned her back on me....I just felt crushed. > After this...I am going to make them recognize me....Guess there is the old > fear that they will have forgotten the " old " me too!! Then I will be > standing there with egg on my face. =) > > I took another bold chance today...and informed a new acquaintance who is a > super MO...I would guess around 500 lbs...of my surgery. She was explaining > to me how hard it is for her to stand...and I was telling her how I > understood...but then...how could I know right? So, I told her a year > ago...I was twice my size. Her eyes got big..and she asked me how I did it. > So, I told her I had surgery...and it was like a door slammed behind her > eyes...and it was like subject closed...and she said... " Oh " and turned and > walked off. I will be seeing her again...and hopefully she will think about > it..and maybe get more curious. I won't mention it again...as I know how > sensitive the subject is...as I was very closed to it at first too. But at > least...I can be kind and understanding with her as now she KNOWS that I have > been there too!! We will be working on a project together this weekend...and > I hope she brings up the subject. But if not...maybe another time. Any > suggestions? > > Regards~ > > Jacque > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 Jacque wrote: > So, I told her I had surgery...and it was like a door slammed > behind her eyes...and it was like subject closed...and she > said... " Oh " and turned and walked off. I will be seeing her > again...and hopefully she will think about it..and maybe get > more curious. I won't mention it again...as I know how > sensitive the subject is...as I was very closed to it at > first too. But at least...I can be kind and understanding > with her as now she KNOWS that I have been there too!! We > will be working on a project together this weekend...and > I hope she brings up the subject. But if not...maybe another > time. Any suggestions? I think you're taking the totally right tact on this. You know that your WLS is seared into her brain now. It would be for anyone her size and suffering who met a person (you) who is happy and healthy after WLS. The best thing is just to be kind and supportive and open to any questions she might have... Since that's your plan already, I think you're doing great. M. --- in Valrico, FL, age 38 Starting weight 299, now 156 Starting BMI 49.7, now 26.0 Lap DGB/DS by Dr. Rabkin 10-19-99 http://www.duodenalswitch.com Direct replies: mailto:melanie@... _________________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 In a message dated 8/9/2001 10:31:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time, jacquemil@... writes: << Her eyes got big..and she asked me how I did it. So, I told her I had surgery...and it was like a door slammed behind her eyes...and it was like subject closed...and she said... " Oh " and turned and walked off. I will be seeing her again...and hopefully she will think about it..and maybe get more curious. >> You know I too have had this reaction. I think some people think we had " surgery " for cancer or something, and don't realize that it was for losing weight. Maybe we should say we had " weight loss surgery " . Some folks still do not know how wonderful this treatment can be, and also some folks still think it is the old stomach stapling deal of a days gone by. Just my opinion. Bill in WV Open RNY July 7, 1999 Dr. Harvey J. Sugerman Medical College of Virginia, Richmond VA Preop Weight 423 Current Weight 221 202 lbs. gone forever Check out my website at: http://openrny.homestead.com/WLS.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 Be prepaired for her to be somewhat defensive. Some people are just not ready to commit to surgery and inside are feeling pretty bad about themselves because of it. If she is not particularly happy with you, just realize that it is herself that she is unhappy with. All you can do is remember how defensive you felt at that point. Just be still and listen. --- jacquemil@... wrote: > Well, twice in less than a month...another old > friend passed my by in the > grocery store yesterday...and registered NO > recognition at all. I couldn't > believe it...and feel like crying when it happens. > Guess it should make me > happy, but it feels like I'm being snubbed. I know > in my logical head that > isn't the case...but just something I am going to > have to get used to for > awhile until all my " old " friends that I don't see > on a daily basis see me. > Good thing my DH was along with me...he is my > identifier...he chased her > down...after I had gone and gotten him and told him > what had > happened..AGAIN!!! She looked at me...and said...I > just don't recognize you > at ALL!!! And came over and gave me a great big > hug!! She had to know first > off...if I was feeling okay....guess first thing > people think is...does she > have cancer or something? I had to tell her I have > never felt so good!! > EVER!! Then she just HAD to know what, how, when, > who...etc. etc. etc. I > wasn't so bold last time this happened a couple of > weeks ago...and I didn't > confront the person who totally turned her back on > me....I just felt crushed. > After this...I am going to make them recognize > me....Guess there is the old > fear that they will have forgotten the " old " me > too!! Then I will be > standing there with egg on my face. =) > > I took another bold chance today...and informed a > new acquaintance who is a > super MO...I would guess around 500 lbs...of my > surgery. She was explaining > to me how hard it is for her to stand...and I was > telling her how I > understood...but then...how could I know right? So, > I told her a year > ago...I was twice my size. Her eyes got big..and > she asked me how I did it. > So, I told her I had surgery...and it was like a > door slammed behind her > eyes...and it was like subject closed...and she > said... " Oh " and turned and > walked off. I will be seeing her again...and > hopefully she will think about > it..and maybe get more curious. I won't mention it > again...as I know how > sensitive the subject is...as I was very closed to > it at first too. But at > least...I can be kind and understanding with her as > now she KNOWS that I have > been there too!! We will be working on a project > together this weekend...and > I hope she brings up the subject. But if > not...maybe another time. Any > suggestions? > > Regards~ > > Jacque > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > Homepage: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: > mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 Jacque: I've done this the right way and the wrong way. Once, on my one year anniversary I approached a stranger in a familiar venue. It was disastrous. It wrecked her. She left me mail a week later saying all the ways it was offensive and at least half were probably true. The other was a client who wouldn't even consider it until she and I had lunch one day and she could see that I actually did still get to eat. I ate the top off my pasta entree, the top off my salad...left the lettuce and pasta behind...and her impression immediately changed. So, I think leading by example is about the best approach I have. I know we all mean well, but sometimes we're just another person saying " I have the answer " and we all know how tiresome that gets when you're MO My $.02, learned the very hard way. Bandas RNY 04-28-98 Dr. Selinkoff It happened again! > Well, twice in less than a month...another old friend passed my by in the > grocery store yesterday...and registered NO recognition at all. I couldn't > believe it...and feel like crying when it happens. Guess it should make me > happy, but it feels like I'm being snubbed. I know in my logical head that > isn't the case...but just something I am going to have to get used to for > awhile until all my " old " friends that I don't see on a daily basis see me. > Good thing my DH was along with me...he is my identifier...he chased her > down...after I had gone and gotten him and told him what had > happened..AGAIN!!! She looked at me...and said...I just don't recognize you > at ALL!!! And came over and gave me a great big hug!! She had to know first > off...if I was feeling okay....guess first thing people think is...does she > have cancer or something? I had to tell her I have never felt so good!! > EVER!! Then she just HAD to know what, how, when, who...etc. etc. etc. I > wasn't so bold last time this happened a couple of weeks ago...and I didn't > confront the person who totally turned her back on me....I just felt crushed. > After this...I am going to make them recognize me....Guess there is the old > fear that they will have forgotten the " old " me too!! Then I will be > standing there with egg on my face. =) > > I took another bold chance today...and informed a new acquaintance who is a > super MO...I would guess around 500 lbs...of my surgery. She was explaining > to me how hard it is for her to stand...and I was telling her how I > understood...but then...how could I know right? So, I told her a year > ago...I was twice my size. Her eyes got big..and she asked me how I did it. > So, I told her I had surgery...and it was like a door slammed behind her > eyes...and it was like subject closed...and she said... " Oh " and turned and > walked off. I will be seeing her again...and hopefully she will think about > it..and maybe get more curious. I won't mention it again...as I know how > sensitive the subject is...as I was very closed to it at first too. But at > least...I can be kind and understanding with her as now she KNOWS that I have > been there too!! We will be working on a project together this weekend...and > I hope she brings up the subject. But if not...maybe another time. Any > suggestions? > > Regards~ > > Jacque > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 >>and also some folks still think it is the old stomach stapling deal >>of a days gone by. If I had a dime for every time I have had to hear about someones " Aunt Martha " who had her stomach stapled 20 years ago, lost a lot of weight, then the staples " done blowed out " and she gained it all back.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 >>and also some folks still think it is the old stomach stapling deal >>of a days gone by. If I had a dime for every time I have had to hear about someones " Aunt Martha " who had her stomach stapled 20 years ago, lost a lot of weight, then the staples " done blowed out " and she gained it all back.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2001 Report Share Posted August 10, 2001 Let 'em think it. Morbid obesity has a higher mortality rate. When they think it's cancer, then OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, very serious disease. If it's WLS< then it was cosmetic. DON'T GET ME STARTED! Thanks, Puyallup, WA (state) Website: www.vitalady.com To check out PayPal: https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com Re: It happened again! > In a message dated 8/9/2001 10:31:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time, > jacquemil@... writes: > > << Her eyes got big..and she asked me how I did it. > So, I told her I had surgery...and it was like a door slammed behind her > eyes...and it was like subject closed...and she said... " Oh " and turned and > walked off. I will be seeing her again...and hopefully she will think about > it..and maybe get more curious. >> > > You know I too have had this reaction. I think some people think we had > " surgery " for cancer or something, and don't realize that it was for losing > weight. Maybe we should say we had " weight loss surgery " . Some folks still > do not know how wonderful this treatment can be, and also some folks still > think it is the old stomach stapling deal of a days gone by. Just my opinion. > > Bill in WV > Open RNY July 7, 1999 > Dr. Harvey J. Sugerman > Medical College of Virginia, Richmond VA > Preop Weight 423 > Current Weight 221 > 202 lbs. gone forever > Check out my website at: http://openrny.homestead.com/WLS.html > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.