Men and Surgery - Righteous indignation needed

[Guest guest]

I'm having my myo in a week and a half and asked my boyfriend if he

would support me through the surgery. Instead, he dumped me last

night but said he'd be there for me " as a friend. " Apparently, he

was attracted to me for my " strength " and the last few weeks, as I've

been nervous about surgery, I've been " weak. " I am really devasted.

Any suggestions of how to prepare for surgery with this on my mind?

I'm so upset, I can't eat or think of anything else.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

,

I am so, so sorry to hear he did this to you. What an awful thing to

do. My humble advice is to focus on all the people who *really* care

about you - family, true friend, and the people on this board - and

go ahead with the surgery. Forget the " friend " crap - sounds like

he's just hanging out until you are " strong " again so he can leach

off your strength when you have it back.... because you WILL, after

the surgery!

God bless, hang in there -

Janet

> I'm having my myo in a week and a half and asked my boyfriend if he

> would support me through the surgery. Instead, he dumped me last

> night but said he'd be there for me " as a friend. " Apparently, he

> was attracted to me for my " strength " and the last few weeks, as

I've

> been nervous about surgery, I've been " weak. " I am really

devasted.

> Any suggestions of how to prepare for surgery with this on my

mind?

> I'm so upset, I can't eat or think of anything else.

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

,

I am so, so sorry to hear he did this to you. What an awful thing to

do. My humble advice is to focus on all the people who *really* care

about you - family, true friend, and the people on this board - and

go ahead with the surgery. Forget the " friend " crap - sounds like

he's just hanging out until you are " strong " again so he can leach

off your strength when you have it back.... because you WILL, after

the surgery!

God bless, hang in there -

Janet

> I'm having my myo in a week and a half and asked my boyfriend if he

> would support me through the surgery. Instead, he dumped me last

> night but said he'd be there for me " as a friend. " Apparently, he

> was attracted to me for my " strength " and the last few weeks, as

I've

> been nervous about surgery, I've been " weak. " I am really

devasted.

> Any suggestions of how to prepare for surgery with this on my

mind?

> I'm so upset, I can't eat or think of anything else.

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

,

I am so, so sorry to hear he did this to you. What an awful thing to

do. My humble advice is to focus on all the people who *really* care

about you - family, true friend, and the people on this board - and

go ahead with the surgery. Forget the " friend " crap - sounds like

he's just hanging out until you are " strong " again so he can leach

off your strength when you have it back.... because you WILL, after

the surgery!

God bless, hang in there -

Janet

> I'm having my myo in a week and a half and asked my boyfriend if he

> would support me through the surgery. Instead, he dumped me last

> night but said he'd be there for me " as a friend. " Apparently, he

> was attracted to me for my " strength " and the last few weeks, as

I've

> been nervous about surgery, I've been " weak. " I am really

devasted.

> Any suggestions of how to prepare for surgery with this on my

mind?

> I'm so upset, I can't eat or think of anything else.

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

,

Sorry to hear about your heart ach. It is truly losy timing. It is

possible that he might have been usurping some of your much needed

attention and energy on yourself. Draining you of the strength that

you creately need before surgery and the healing process. Maybe his

being out of the picture, you might begin to realize how much of your

time that he taken from your focus on what is most necessary, your

health. Its good to be talking about it like you are doing. Find as

many positive friends as you can and discuss it with them what

happened. Maybe in the end, some of them might surprise you and give

you their help.

I got the Peggy Huddleston book and tape on Prepare for Surgery, Heal

Faster. The book gives a number of good visualizations that will

help with your current medical needs. This is the time to put all

your focus into your healing. The tape is good because you can

practice on de-stressing your mind which is vitally important to

healing and keeping your immune system up. I don't know what signs

led up to his wanting out of the relationship, but his actions say a

lot about him and how dishonest he might have been all this time.

and it's also possible that he doesn't have the strength to support

you. Or he doesn't know how to support you in this situation.

Know that you have to give yourself some mental healing time and that

the hurt will take some time to mend. I'd say let it all out and

don't be afraid what anyone says. Scream, throwing things, punch the

air, anything to let out what you are holding tightly inside your

subconscious mind.

I know its hard to hear any of this and maybe you wish that he would

change his mind. But that might not be the best thing for you right

now.

Hang in there as much as you can. And never be afraid to ask for

help and hand holding from your friends.

JenD.

[Guest guest]

sweetheart....your b/f was a chimera....he was a worm. Grind him into the dust

on your way down the

hosp corridor! You should celebrate that the fates put this situation your way

so you don't waste

time on this sub-species! Celebrate, because after this stuff is over with you

can find a worthy

partner! This surgery is an act of self love and empowerment. As a very strong

women I know I have my

utterly weak moments (ahem, just look at last weeks posts), but just be assured

that this is a great

thing, this falling away of the mediocre from your life. It really shows the

mettle of a

person...times of crisis. It is the fire that burns to a cinder, or combines

metals to create gold.

Sorry about the promiscuous metaphors..... Rally your friends! love and luck!

gag, (another mostly strong woman! ;-)!

mlabarge2003 wrote:

> I'm having my myo in a week and a half and asked my boyfriend if he

> would support me through the surgery. Instead, he dumped me last

> night but said he'd be there for me " as a friend. " Apparently, he

> was attracted to me for my " strength " and the last few weeks, as I've

> been nervous about surgery, I've been " weak. " I am really devasted.

> Any suggestions of how to prepare for surgery with this on my mind?

> I'm so upset, I can't eat or think of anything else.

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

sweetheart....your b/f was a chimera....he was a worm. Grind him into the dust

on your way down the

hosp corridor! You should celebrate that the fates put this situation your way

so you don't waste

time on this sub-species! Celebrate, because after this stuff is over with you

can find a worthy

partner! This surgery is an act of self love and empowerment. As a very strong

women I know I have my

utterly weak moments (ahem, just look at last weeks posts), but just be assured

that this is a great

thing, this falling away of the mediocre from your life. It really shows the

mettle of a

person...times of crisis. It is the fire that burns to a cinder, or combines

metals to create gold.

Sorry about the promiscuous metaphors..... Rally your friends! love and luck!

gag, (another mostly strong woman! ;-)!

mlabarge2003 wrote:

> I'm having my myo in a week and a half and asked my boyfriend if he

> would support me through the surgery. Instead, he dumped me last

> night but said he'd be there for me " as a friend. " Apparently, he

> was attracted to me for my " strength " and the last few weeks, as I've

> been nervous about surgery, I've been " weak. " I am really devasted.

> Any suggestions of how to prepare for surgery with this on my mind?

> I'm so upset, I can't eat or think of anything else.

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

sweetheart....your b/f was a chimera....he was a worm. Grind him into the dust

on your way down the

hosp corridor! You should celebrate that the fates put this situation your way

so you don't waste

time on this sub-species! Celebrate, because after this stuff is over with you

can find a worthy

partner! This surgery is an act of self love and empowerment. As a very strong

women I know I have my

utterly weak moments (ahem, just look at last weeks posts), but just be assured

that this is a great

thing, this falling away of the mediocre from your life. It really shows the

mettle of a

person...times of crisis. It is the fire that burns to a cinder, or combines

metals to create gold.

Sorry about the promiscuous metaphors..... Rally your friends! love and luck!

gag, (another mostly strong woman! ;-)!

mlabarge2003 wrote:

> I'm having my myo in a week and a half and asked my boyfriend if he

> would support me through the surgery. Instead, he dumped me last

> night but said he'd be there for me " as a friend. " Apparently, he

> was attracted to me for my " strength " and the last few weeks, as I've

> been nervous about surgery, I've been " weak. " I am really devasted.

> Any suggestions of how to prepare for surgery with this on my mind?

> I'm so upset, I can't eat or think of anything else.

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Don't think that he'll change in time or he'll " grow up " . Isn't always the case.

He can only change his behavior but first he has to own it. If he bails when

things get tough, he'd bail on kids too. Raising kids is the toughest job you'd

ever love. Think before ever taking him back and think about yourself and your

needs. Be kind to yourself. Eating something will make you feel better and

strenghten you before surgery.

[Guest guest]

Don't think that he'll change in time or he'll " grow up " . Isn't always the case.

He can only change his behavior but first he has to own it. If he bails when

things get tough, he'd bail on kids too. Raising kids is the toughest job you'd

ever love. Think before ever taking him back and think about yourself and your

needs. Be kind to yourself. Eating something will make you feel better and

strenghten you before surgery.

[Guest guest]

I just got laid off too....=( So I will have ample time to at least communicate

via email to anyone not in my area who is in need....feel free to write

anytime....

Jenine

[Guest guest]

:

A good man loves YOU - the woman. Your strengths and vulnerabilities are part

of the package. Sounds like your boyfriend may have been looking for an out.

His loss - not yours.

It's okay for you to experience uncertainty and moments of weakness before your

surgery. After all - you're only human. If you are a praying woman, ask God to

keep his loving arms around you. If you are universally spiritual - open

yourself up to the support vibes the universes throws our way each day.

Continue to reach out to your friends, family and this support group. We're all

here for you.

Joyce