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I know there are times my bain nearly shuts down & I race headlong into

buying food or eating that I know is not good for me but I am doing it

anyway. But why?I am still working on the what if. >

I just posted the exact same thing you wrote about to a fellow WLS friend. I

too am so scared that a weight gain this past month is going to be a

prediction of the future! Even as I fix something to eat, my little voice

tells me it is too much or it is the wrong thing and I just ignore it and

cram it into my mouth! Why am I doing this to myself? I recognize the effort

it took me to loose the 152 pounds and the fact that all my friends and

family are so proud of me. Why?????? Why do we do this to ourselves? I found

out that eating sugar is no problem after 19 months of denying it. I preceded

to eat a HUGE chocolate candy bar with no remorse. Oh yes, it came two weeks

later when I got on the scale and saw the 2 pound weight gain. Right now I

cannot afford private therapy, and my support group is too big to handle

individual problems on an ongoing basis. What are we to do? Yes, we have each

other on the group but no one knows me enough to give an answer to my WHY.

What can we do? Thank you for posting, Terri. I hope to see more of your

writings.

Barbie

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This is my shot of inspiration for the day. I see myself in every word you

wrote. I have been faced with the true amount of my regain and it is scary. I am

working very hard at knowing why I am eating even if I go ahead and eat. It is a

new bit of progress for me. After 50 years of concealing my feelings from

everyone else, I have very effectively obscured them rom yself too. It is a BIG

STEP for me to discover I don't know what it is that I read as hunger. It is not

always the same feeling/sensation and I cannot trust that it is always triggered

by a physical need to eat. Sometimes I get light-headed or absolutely evil

before I noticd an urge to eat. Other times the obsessive thinking about eating

occurs and I don't know whether the physical sensation of hunger preceeded it

(whatever that feeling is). I know there are times my bain nearly shuts down & I

race headlong into buying food or eating that I know is not good for me but I am

doing it anyway. But why?I am still working on the what if... I don't eat this

or now or in private or?

So thanks for the inspiring moment.

terri

Terri

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