Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Hi Rose... Thankyou so much for your kind words.. It means alot. I love Christmas, it my favourite time of year, but also my saddest too... I have a loving family who have hepled over the years, but as time moves on I feel it is just me who really remembers the horror of it all. It happened in 1986 you see..a long time ago now!! I am thankful though.. If I was able to keep , my first born daughter, I wouldn't have now..(she is 14) I feel that was needed to do a 'job' in heaven, and this 'allowed' to be here... I was once told I have a little girl guardian angel sat on my left shoulder..This gypsy knew nothing of my loss!! Maybe s 'job' is to look after me and my family. I know ,is a wonderful help to me, and she is my best friend. I am VERY lucky!! Thanks again.. Love Alison x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Hi Rose... Thankyou so much for your kind words.. It means alot. I love Christmas, it my favourite time of year, but also my saddest too... I have a loving family who have hepled over the years, but as time moves on I feel it is just me who really remembers the horror of it all. It happened in 1986 you see..a long time ago now!! I am thankful though.. If I was able to keep , my first born daughter, I wouldn't have now..(she is 14) I feel that was needed to do a 'job' in heaven, and this 'allowed' to be here... I was once told I have a little girl guardian angel sat on my left shoulder..This gypsy knew nothing of my loss!! Maybe s 'job' is to look after me and my family. I know ,is a wonderful help to me, and she is my best friend. I am VERY lucky!! Thanks again.. Love Alison x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Hi Rose... Thankyou so much for your kind words.. It means alot. I love Christmas, it my favourite time of year, but also my saddest too... I have a loving family who have hepled over the years, but as time moves on I feel it is just me who really remembers the horror of it all. It happened in 1986 you see..a long time ago now!! I am thankful though.. If I was able to keep , my first born daughter, I wouldn't have now..(she is 14) I feel that was needed to do a 'job' in heaven, and this 'allowed' to be here... I was once told I have a little girl guardian angel sat on my left shoulder..This gypsy knew nothing of my loss!! Maybe s 'job' is to look after me and my family. I know ,is a wonderful help to me, and she is my best friend. I am VERY lucky!! Thanks again.. Love Alison x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Alison, my mother is a poet & she wrote a poem about my brother . It begins, " We've an angel of our own up in heaven. . . " She was actually a month pregnant with me when died, but she didn't realize it. The weird thing, but I think it's a neat thing, is that even though I never knew , I miss him. He would be 56 now. I'm glad is such a blessing to you. Rose Re: Rose > Hi Rose... > > Thankyou so much for your kind words.. > It means alot. > > I love Christmas, it my favourite time of year, but also my saddest > too... > I have a loving family who have hepled over the years, but as time > moves on I feel it is just me who really remembers the horror of it > all. It happened in 1986 you see..a long time ago now!! > > I am thankful though.. > If I was able to keep , my first born daughter, I wouldn't have > now..(she is 14) > I feel that was needed to do a 'job' in heaven, and > this 'allowed' to be here... > I was once told I have a little girl guardian angel sat on my left > shoulder..This gypsy knew nothing of my loss!! > Maybe s 'job' is to look after me and my family. > I know ,is a wonderful help to me, and she is my best friend. > I am VERY lucky!! > > Thanks again.. > > Love Alison x > > > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > The Neurosarcoidosis Community > > Live Group Chat:- > Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USA > http://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.php > > Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:- > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messages > > Members Database:- > Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database > > Bookmarks:- > Add a website URL you have found useful. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/links > > Personal Complaints or problems:- > Please email the moderators > mailto:Neurosarcoidosis-owner > > Subscription Details:- > 1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive. > 2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email. > 3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email. > To modify your subscription settings please visit:- > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/join > > To subscribe email neurosarcoidosis-subscribe > To unsubscribe email neurosarcoidosis-unsubscribe > > The moderators will not be doing it for you! > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > > Come stand by my side where I am going, > Take my hand if I should stumble and fall, > It's the strength and love that you share, > That gives me what I need most of all. > - Hoyt Axton > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Alison, my mother is a poet & she wrote a poem about my brother . It begins, " We've an angel of our own up in heaven. . . " She was actually a month pregnant with me when died, but she didn't realize it. The weird thing, but I think it's a neat thing, is that even though I never knew , I miss him. He would be 56 now. I'm glad is such a blessing to you. Rose Re: Rose > Hi Rose... > > Thankyou so much for your kind words.. > It means alot. > > I love Christmas, it my favourite time of year, but also my saddest > too... > I have a loving family who have hepled over the years, but as time > moves on I feel it is just me who really remembers the horror of it > all. It happened in 1986 you see..a long time ago now!! > > I am thankful though.. > If I was able to keep , my first born daughter, I wouldn't have > now..(she is 14) > I feel that was needed to do a 'job' in heaven, and > this 'allowed' to be here... > I was once told I have a little girl guardian angel sat on my left > shoulder..This gypsy knew nothing of my loss!! > Maybe s 'job' is to look after me and my family. > I know ,is a wonderful help to me, and she is my best friend. > I am VERY lucky!! > > Thanks again.. > > Love Alison x > > > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > The Neurosarcoidosis Community > > Live Group Chat:- > Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USA > http://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.php > > Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:- > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messages > > Members Database:- > Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database > > Bookmarks:- > Add a website URL you have found useful. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/links > > Personal Complaints or problems:- > Please email the moderators > mailto:Neurosarcoidosis-owner > > Subscription Details:- > 1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive. > 2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email. > 3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email. > To modify your subscription settings please visit:- > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/join > > To subscribe email neurosarcoidosis-subscribe > To unsubscribe email neurosarcoidosis-unsubscribe > > The moderators will not be doing it for you! > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > > Come stand by my side where I am going, > Take my hand if I should stumble and fall, > It's the strength and love that you share, > That gives me what I need most of all. > - Hoyt Axton > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Alison, my mother is a poet & she wrote a poem about my brother . It begins, " We've an angel of our own up in heaven. . . " She was actually a month pregnant with me when died, but she didn't realize it. The weird thing, but I think it's a neat thing, is that even though I never knew , I miss him. He would be 56 now. I'm glad is such a blessing to you. Rose Re: Rose > Hi Rose... > > Thankyou so much for your kind words.. > It means alot. > > I love Christmas, it my favourite time of year, but also my saddest > too... > I have a loving family who have hepled over the years, but as time > moves on I feel it is just me who really remembers the horror of it > all. It happened in 1986 you see..a long time ago now!! > > I am thankful though.. > If I was able to keep , my first born daughter, I wouldn't have > now..(she is 14) > I feel that was needed to do a 'job' in heaven, and > this 'allowed' to be here... > I was once told I have a little girl guardian angel sat on my left > shoulder..This gypsy knew nothing of my loss!! > Maybe s 'job' is to look after me and my family. > I know ,is a wonderful help to me, and she is my best friend. > I am VERY lucky!! > > Thanks again.. > > Love Alison x > > > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > The Neurosarcoidosis Community > > Live Group Chat:- > Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USA > http://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.php > > Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:- > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messages > > Members Database:- > Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database > > Bookmarks:- > Add a website URL you have found useful. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/links > > Personal Complaints or problems:- > Please email the moderators > mailto:Neurosarcoidosis-owner > > Subscription Details:- > 1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive. > 2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email. > 3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email. > To modify your subscription settings please visit:- > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/join > > To subscribe email neurosarcoidosis-subscribe > To unsubscribe email neurosarcoidosis-unsubscribe > > The moderators will not be doing it for you! > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > > Come stand by my side where I am going, > Take my hand if I should stumble and fall, > It's the strength and love that you share, > That gives me what I need most of all. > - Hoyt Axton > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 I tried part-time, but couldn't make it for more than 1-2 hours without having to lie down. Also, I fell out of my chair twice & couldn't pass the CPR test. After the holidays, I'm going to start working on finishing my degree. I'm also in the process of filing for bankruptcy, mainly to get out of the house. We will probably have until April to move, but I'm going to start get ridding of stuff after Christmas. I have so much junk. Well, hope you are having a good holiday season. Love, Rose Rose Congratulations on your disability. I didn't know you weren't working I thought you went back to work? I hope you and your family have a very blessed Christmas! Love to all, Marla~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Bookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/linksPersonal Complaints or problems:-Please email the moderatorsmailto:Neurosarcoidosis-owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/joinTo subscribe email neurosarcoidosis-subscribe To unsubscribe email neurosarcoidosis-unsubscribe The moderators will not be doing it for you!~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~Come stand by my side where I am going,Take my hand if I should stumble and fall,It's the strength and love that you share,That gives me what I need most of all.- Hoyt Axton~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 Rose, I am glad you got the disability. I am sorry you have to file for bankruptcy though. Sharon Rose Congratulations on your disability. I didn't know you weren't working I thought you went back to work? I hope you and your family have a very blessed Christmas! Love to all, Marla~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Bookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/linksPersonal Complaints or problems:-Please email the moderatorsmailto:Neurosarcoidosis-owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/joinTo subscribe email neurosarcoidosis-subscribe To unsubscribe email neurosarcoidosis-unsubscribe The moderators will not be doing it for you!~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~Come stand by my side where I am going,Take my hand if I should stumble and fall,It's the strength and love that you share,That gives me what I need most of all.- Hoyt Axton~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2003 Report Share Posted December 22, 2003 I pray all goes well for you Rose. It's hard to leave a job like that behind, but I admire you, you know you need to do this for you. I felt I wasn't safe for the patient anymore either. But falling off your chair that is not safe for you. Rose, I wish you well, and pray for you. Marla Rose Congratulations on your disability. I didn't know you weren't working I thought you went back to work? I hope you and your family have a very blessed Christmas! Love to all, Marla~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Bookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/linksPersonal Complaints or problems:-Please email the moderatorsmailto:Neurosarcoidosis-owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/joinTo subscribe email neurosarcoidosis-subscribe To unsubscribe email neurosarcoidosis-unsubscribe The moderators will not be doing it for you!~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~Come stand by my side where I am going,Take my hand if I should stumble and fall,It's the strength and love that you share,That gives me what I need most of all.- Hoyt Axton~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 Alison, when my neurologist told me he thought I had neurosarcoidosis, I said, " So I'm not nuts then? " and he answered, " Well, you might be, but you've got this other thing too. " He's a pretty good guy, as doctors go. I bring him a typewritten update every time I see him, with titles like " The Saga Continues. " He gets a big kick out of it. Once I told him I felt like the freak of the week, and he said " You're the freak of the year. " The last time I saw him, he was really sweet & said it was a shame I had all this, that I was such a nice lady. I said, " Yeah, just the stinkers should get sick. " Well, guess I'll keep slogging my way through my email. Have a nice day! Rose Re: ROSE > Hi Rose.. > > I have just read your post to Quint... > > Wow...are you writing about me here??? > > Hahahaha..the things you have written are so familiar and very > similar!! > > You said.... > " So when you report all these weird symptoms, they think you're > nuts. " Yes...sooooo TRUE!! > > I too was dx in 1994, although I realize I had been ill on and off > before then. My sarc was found on a chest x-ray too. > > Virus? Yes, I too have had many of them too! I collasped last > summer with a 'virus' in my ear, and I couldn't walk straight, think > straight,for about 3 weeks afterwards...I was sea sick too, Yuck it > was awful!! I was only given anti-sickness drugs!! > > Itching eyes? God yes, got them today!! I feel so swollen deep > inside, behind my eyes... I have ointment to put in at night and > drops for the days. I feel unwell today with it though! Headache is > starting again too!! > When your eyes are sore, does it affect your swollowing? > > I have never had a sudden weight loss or gain, as I have always been > on a diet!! Trying to lose the same old 4 stone!! > On that subject I am doing ok just now. I was 217 lbs at my > heaviest, I am currently 176. > > > > You said... > " other symptoms that have developed are leg pain " ... YES! > > " muscle cramps all over my body, burning & numbness in my feet & now > also in my right thigh " ... YES, especially for me when I flex my > neck and look towards the ground.. > > " balance problems " ... YES! > > " memory problems, electric shock sensations, shivering > sensations " ... YES! > > " swallowing & choking trouble " ... YES! > > " I get extremely hot when everyone else is cold or > comfortable " ...YES, for me it is worse when I am in bed...I can > actually 'feel' the sweat oozing from me, I wake up and I am wet > through!! It is very different from the menopausal ones, I am only > 40, but I had a total hysterectomy in '96, I had a couple of those > flushes then, and they were awful!! > > My main problem are the headaches, and neck pain....I have them > everyday....!! > > Take care.. > > Love Alison x > > > > > > ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ > The Neurosarcoidosis Community > > Live Group Chat:- > Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USA > http://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.php > > Message Archives:- > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messages > > Members Database:- > Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2004 Report Share Posted January 18, 2004 I think I have several emails to you, but I am sure you didn't receive or you would have responded. I just wanted you to know that I think you are one hell of a woman! And I hope everything is better for you this year. (starting in Feb) I am sending a picture of my grandbabies. Haili Maija, and Hunter. Haili just turned 8 and Hunter is 17 mo. She was a preemie but you sure can't tell. She was in delivery room with her mother when Hunter was born. I was there also to remove her if it got too bad. Mom didn't have but a couple pains and that was it. How is Sam? I pray for her all the time. She will be ok. She has you Shirley- Original Message ----- From: Rose To: Neurosarcoidosis Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2004 8:53 PM Subject: odds & ends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2004 Report Share Posted January 18, 2004 Shirley, you're right, I haven't seen your posts. Did you send them to the group or just to me? I have to admit that sometimes I delete stuff I want, because I'll have a string of 8-10 penis enlargement ads or something & just be zipping along with the delete button * realize too late that I probably pitched something I wanted. Usually my Deleted file is so full I don't want to try to find it. Does this make sense? I appreciate your concern & support. I saw Sam today; she's doing pretty well. If you want to send something directly to me, this is address: mamadog@.... Rose odds & ends~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2004 Report Share Posted January 18, 2004 Shirley, you're right, I haven't seen your posts. Did you send them to the group or just to me? I have to admit that sometimes I delete stuff I want, because I'll have a string of 8-10 penis enlargement ads or something & just be zipping along with the delete button * realize too late that I probably pitched something I wanted. Usually my Deleted file is so full I don't want to try to find it. Does this make sense? I appreciate your concern & support. I saw Sam today; she's doing pretty well. If you want to send something directly to me, this is address: mamadog@.... Rose odds & ends~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2004 Report Share Posted January 18, 2004 Oh, Shirley, I didn't get the picture. Can yolu send it again? Rose odds & ends~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2004 Report Share Posted January 18, 2004 Oh, Shirley, I didn't get the picture. Can yolu send it again? Rose odds & ends~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2004 Report Share Posted February 27, 2004 Rose dear I have that same problem I can hear them but I don't understand what they are saying. And thats when they talk the most & longest.........Quint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 I got some real nice new-ageie stuff with Crow calls in it! I Loved it! Love, Jeri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 Yes, and the duet was hilarious! Rose Did you hear the sound on that funny email that I sent??? I also forwarded it to other people, and they didn't hear any sound...... GO FIGURE>>>>>> THanks ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 Yes, and the duet was hilarious! Rose Did you hear the sound on that funny email that I sent??? I also forwarded it to other people, and they didn't hear any sound...... GO FIGURE>>>>>> THanks ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2004 Report Share Posted March 7, 2004 I heard it ....lol.......QUINT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2004 Report Share Posted March 7, 2004 I heard it ....lol.......QUINT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2004 Report Share Posted March 8, 2004 Rose - I can relate to how you feel. It's important to get it out though, don't keep it in. This is one of the best places you can let it out. A lot of us here although we came from all different backgrounds, can hear you. It was a year ago Friday when I found the subcutaneous tumor (later biopsied as sarc) on my arm. Since then it feels like my life is going backwards instead of forwards In January I felt as low as I could ever be and felt like everything I had worked for in my life to make myself raise up in society and feel accepted and respected has spiralled down and gone down the tubes. I lost my job that I had loved for 17 years. Everything that my husband and I had worked for was dwindling away. My hopes and dreams for my children's future and happiness were crumbling. I felt like I was so responsible for ruining everyone's lives. I felt like I was being punished by God for some of the things that I had done in my life. And even though I started turning to him (I was never very religious before), he wasn't listening to me because I felt like I was a bad person. I felt like a useless wife and mother. Then I ended up just crashing into a meltdown and brought to the hospital. It was there that they showed me that I was worth something and it wasn't my fault that I got sick. I was just at the bottom of the big dark well right now not being able to see any light streaming down from above. Yes, I went through one on one and group therapy. Yes, they adjusted my antidepressants. But I learned a lot about myself in 10 days. About anger that I had inside me that I didn't even know I had. When I left after 10 days, I still felt shaky psychologically and still had the physical illnesses, but I felt like a better person. I felt important and could see a light streaming down to me at the bottom of the well. I also have a wonderful therapist who I owe a lot too. I had been seeing her for 2 and a half years before all of this had happened. And throughout this past year, she has been very supportive and helpful to me. She has been a confidante, a friend, even a social worker. She has helped me with all these damn disability stuff and other family issues. There are people out there if you look hard enough that can help you and your situation. I know it looks really bleak right now, I had just about given up. I didnt fall asleep at the keyboard after reading your post, I felt for the warm and compassionate person that I have come to know as Ramblin' Rose. You have helped a lot of people in your life from what I have heard about, it's now time to help Rose. I know we can't help you financially, but maybe the friendship from this group will help you get through this. Remember trust in God, even though you don't think he's listening, he's there for you. Love, Debbie T. Rose wrote: This is another one of those long, whiny, complaining letters, so just delete if you aren't in the mood. I know many of you will be tempted to tell me I'm wrong to feel the way I do, but I just have to say what I feel, right or wrong, true or false. A little history: I grew up poor, moving frequently from one crowded house or apartment to another. For awhile, my parents, 2 brothers & I lived in a one-bedroom apartment. My father had a problem with his temper; also with drugs. We rarely had new clothes or shoes; we drank milk that was watered down to make it go farther. Once we had almost no food & no money. Some friends gave us a big basket of zucchini & we ate zucchini for 3 days, until my dad got paid for a sign painting job. Mom baked it, fried it, made pancakes with it. You get the picture. I always felt like "white trash." Even after I was grown, had gotten my teeth straightened, got contacts, nice clothes; I still felt like I didn't belong in nice houses, with what I considered "normal" people. It wasn't just money; I was ashamed of my family. I was afraid to have friends over because I never knew when my dad would fly into a rage & chase the dog around the house, yelling that he would beat her brains out, or throw something. Anyway, after I was married, we worked our way up the food chain, drove nice (not expensive, but nice) cars, had houses that I wasn't ashamed of, and appeared to be a normal family. We weren't normal, but that's another story. After 22 years of marriage, we called it quits. I bought a trilevel home (as a child, I associated split-level homes with normal people, for some reason) in a very nice neighborhood. But I never felt like I belonged, in the house or in the neighborhood. I've lived here 8 years & the neighbors are nice enough, but I still don't feel I belong here. Well, now that I'm on disability I can't afford to stay here. I can't sell my house for enough to pay it off, plus it needs a lot of work to even put it on the market. I've cashed in some of my retirement funds to pay bills, but finally gave up & filed for bankruptcy this week, basically to get out of the house. Besides the expense, the stairs are getting to me. So here's where the pity party really starts. I've been looking at rental houses in the price range I can afford & I'm really discouraged. Most of the houses I've seen are real dumps, in really bad neighborhoods. I found myself thinking, well, you're sinking back to your natural level, where you belong. I hope this doesn't offend anyone who lives in not-so-great housing; that's not my intent. I guess I had just hoped that all the work I put into my education to make a good salary, buy a nice house, etc. would change how I felt about myself inside. But now that I'm downwardly mobile, I feel hopeless. I don't care if I have a pretty yard, or a fancy house; I just hoped to live in a safe neighborhood, where I wouldn't be afraid to have people over. I still have a few weeks to move, so I'm not giving up, but is there any way to scrape & dig to get my insides cleaned out? To truly believe, with my heart & my mind, that I'm worth something, that I'm not trash, that my family's not trash? How do I get rid of this destructive crap? 40 years of studying, praying, therapy, journalling, analyzing dreams, you name it, and I still feel worthless. Well, those of you who have stuck it out this long are probably half asleep at the keyboard. I've been wanting to write this for a couple of weeks, but kept stuffing it back inside, along with a bunch of cookies & nachos. I guess there wasn't any more room to stuff anything in, so here it is. Thank you for letting me feel safe enough to share this. Your Ramblin' Rose~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2004 Report Share Posted March 8, 2004 Rose - I can relate to how you feel. It's important to get it out though, don't keep it in. This is one of the best places you can let it out. A lot of us here although we came from all different backgrounds, can hear you. It was a year ago Friday when I found the subcutaneous tumor (later biopsied as sarc) on my arm. Since then it feels like my life is going backwards instead of forwards In January I felt as low as I could ever be and felt like everything I had worked for in my life to make myself raise up in society and feel accepted and respected has spiralled down and gone down the tubes. I lost my job that I had loved for 17 years. Everything that my husband and I had worked for was dwindling away. My hopes and dreams for my children's future and happiness were crumbling. I felt like I was so responsible for ruining everyone's lives. I felt like I was being punished by God for some of the things that I had done in my life. And even though I started turning to him (I was never very religious before), he wasn't listening to me because I felt like I was a bad person. I felt like a useless wife and mother. Then I ended up just crashing into a meltdown and brought to the hospital. It was there that they showed me that I was worth something and it wasn't my fault that I got sick. I was just at the bottom of the big dark well right now not being able to see any light streaming down from above. Yes, I went through one on one and group therapy. Yes, they adjusted my antidepressants. But I learned a lot about myself in 10 days. About anger that I had inside me that I didn't even know I had. When I left after 10 days, I still felt shaky psychologically and still had the physical illnesses, but I felt like a better person. I felt important and could see a light streaming down to me at the bottom of the well. I also have a wonderful therapist who I owe a lot too. I had been seeing her for 2 and a half years before all of this had happened. And throughout this past year, she has been very supportive and helpful to me. She has been a confidante, a friend, even a social worker. She has helped me with all these damn disability stuff and other family issues. There are people out there if you look hard enough that can help you and your situation. I know it looks really bleak right now, I had just about given up. I didnt fall asleep at the keyboard after reading your post, I felt for the warm and compassionate person that I have come to know as Ramblin' Rose. You have helped a lot of people in your life from what I have heard about, it's now time to help Rose. I know we can't help you financially, but maybe the friendship from this group will help you get through this. Remember trust in God, even though you don't think he's listening, he's there for you. Love, Debbie T. Rose wrote: This is another one of those long, whiny, complaining letters, so just delete if you aren't in the mood. I know many of you will be tempted to tell me I'm wrong to feel the way I do, but I just have to say what I feel, right or wrong, true or false. A little history: I grew up poor, moving frequently from one crowded house or apartment to another. For awhile, my parents, 2 brothers & I lived in a one-bedroom apartment. My father had a problem with his temper; also with drugs. We rarely had new clothes or shoes; we drank milk that was watered down to make it go farther. Once we had almost no food & no money. Some friends gave us a big basket of zucchini & we ate zucchini for 3 days, until my dad got paid for a sign painting job. Mom baked it, fried it, made pancakes with it. You get the picture. I always felt like "white trash." Even after I was grown, had gotten my teeth straightened, got contacts, nice clothes; I still felt like I didn't belong in nice houses, with what I considered "normal" people. It wasn't just money; I was ashamed of my family. I was afraid to have friends over because I never knew when my dad would fly into a rage & chase the dog around the house, yelling that he would beat her brains out, or throw something. Anyway, after I was married, we worked our way up the food chain, drove nice (not expensive, but nice) cars, had houses that I wasn't ashamed of, and appeared to be a normal family. We weren't normal, but that's another story. After 22 years of marriage, we called it quits. I bought a trilevel home (as a child, I associated split-level homes with normal people, for some reason) in a very nice neighborhood. But I never felt like I belonged, in the house or in the neighborhood. I've lived here 8 years & the neighbors are nice enough, but I still don't feel I belong here. Well, now that I'm on disability I can't afford to stay here. I can't sell my house for enough to pay it off, plus it needs a lot of work to even put it on the market. I've cashed in some of my retirement funds to pay bills, but finally gave up & filed for bankruptcy this week, basically to get out of the house. Besides the expense, the stairs are getting to me. So here's where the pity party really starts. I've been looking at rental houses in the price range I can afford & I'm really discouraged. Most of the houses I've seen are real dumps, in really bad neighborhoods. I found myself thinking, well, you're sinking back to your natural level, where you belong. I hope this doesn't offend anyone who lives in not-so-great housing; that's not my intent. I guess I had just hoped that all the work I put into my education to make a good salary, buy a nice house, etc. would change how I felt about myself inside. But now that I'm downwardly mobile, I feel hopeless. I don't care if I have a pretty yard, or a fancy house; I just hoped to live in a safe neighborhood, where I wouldn't be afraid to have people over. I still have a few weeks to move, so I'm not giving up, but is there any way to scrape & dig to get my insides cleaned out? To truly believe, with my heart & my mind, that I'm worth something, that I'm not trash, that my family's not trash? How do I get rid of this destructive crap? 40 years of studying, praying, therapy, journalling, analyzing dreams, you name it, and I still feel worthless. Well, those of you who have stuck it out this long are probably half asleep at the keyboard. I've been wanting to write this for a couple of weeks, but kept stuffing it back inside, along with a bunch of cookies & nachos. I guess there wasn't any more room to stuff anything in, so here it is. Thank you for letting me feel safe enough to share this. Your Ramblin' Rose~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityLive Group Chat:-Mondays & Fridays 10pm EST USAhttp://www.elderwyn.com/neurosarcoidosis/chat.phpMessage Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 Rose hun, ((((Hugs)))) I didn't fall asleep you are a sweet and caring person just as you always have been. Hun I know you are going thru some really bad times and having to move and start over you have had some major changes in the past 6 months or so and thats a lot to deal with both physically and psycologically. You have always been there for me in time of crisis when my world was turned upside down and helped me put the pieces back in place I don't know if I'll be much help but I'll give it a shot. Hun it doesn't matter as some of the others have said what kind of house you live it doesn't make you trash, hun you can never be that, you are one of the kindest loving ladies I know on here you are always giving of yourself. I've had to start over many times and many times its been down classing if thats a word? But hun that didn't make me any less better of who I was I was still me if not made me a stronger person. I'm not saying it won't be hard but it will take some time to adjust to all these changes and do something just for you something that makes you feel good about yourself no matter what it is. If you ever want to talk you can e-mail me anytime. I hope I made some kind of sense and didn't offend you in any way I wouldn't want to do that just sometimes this old noodle don't work right you know.......lol And remember God loves you and so do I.............. Love and prayers............. Happiness is inward and not outward; and it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are................. ~~~~~~Henry Van Dyke Jan Bovitz ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 Rose hun, ((((Hugs)))) I didn't fall asleep you are a sweet and caring person just as you always have been. Hun I know you are going thru some really bad times and having to move and start over you have had some major changes in the past 6 months or so and thats a lot to deal with both physically and psycologically. You have always been there for me in time of crisis when my world was turned upside down and helped me put the pieces back in place I don't know if I'll be much help but I'll give it a shot. Hun it doesn't matter as some of the others have said what kind of house you live it doesn't make you trash, hun you can never be that, you are one of the kindest loving ladies I know on here you are always giving of yourself. I've had to start over many times and many times its been down classing if thats a word? But hun that didn't make me any less better of who I was I was still me if not made me a stronger person. I'm not saying it won't be hard but it will take some time to adjust to all these changes and do something just for you something that makes you feel good about yourself no matter what it is. If you ever want to talk you can e-mail me anytime. I hope I made some kind of sense and didn't offend you in any way I wouldn't want to do that just sometimes this old noodle don't work right you know.......lol And remember God loves you and so do I.............. Love and prayers............. Happiness is inward and not outward; and it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are................. ~~~~~~Henry Van Dyke Jan Bovitz ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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