Guest guest Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 Hello Ladies, This is my first post to the group, though I have been a member for awhile now. I enjoy and am enlightened by reading the e-mail. My reason for being motivated to write is this, today i went to my PCP's office, I had to see the female PA rather than my doc. While I was updating lists of meds, I told her that I had recently been on Provera for 12 days to try to correct cycle. I have had heavy bleeding recently. She looked at me and told me that I will have to have a hysterectomy, she said this without blinking an eye. I told her that I do not want to have a hysterectomy now, I am 40 but still want to have children. She took it upon herself to tell that she doubted that I would ever hace a baby. I may be 40, but the are women who have had babies past 40. What bothered me was that my appointment today was to get a refill of blood pressure meds. Let me ask everyone out there, am I deluding myself to think that there might be a chance for me to become a biological mother? My fibroids are small, and my hormones are still in order. Am I just too sensitive on this subject or was she out of line? The one thing in life I wanted all along is to have children , I just do not think that it is unreasonable for me to not jump at a hysterectomy. My Gyn. has not even brought up the subject, he said I may have to have a D & C, but that is a long way away from hysterectomy. I just feel that the PA should have concentrated on my blood pressure, it was by the way128/75, and kept her nose out of my reproductive situation. Sorry this is so long and rambling , I guess I just had to vent. Thanks fo listening. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 Hello Ladies, This is my first post to the group, though I have been a member for awhile now. I enjoy and am enlightened by reading the e-mail. My reason for being motivated to write is this, today i went to my PCP's office, I had to see the female PA rather than my doc. While I was updating lists of meds, I told her that I had recently been on Provera for 12 days to try to correct cycle. I have had heavy bleeding recently. She looked at me and told me that I will have to have a hysterectomy, she said this without blinking an eye. I told her that I do not want to have a hysterectomy now, I am 40 but still want to have children. She took it upon herself to tell that she doubted that I would ever hace a baby. I may be 40, but the are women who have had babies past 40. What bothered me was that my appointment today was to get a refill of blood pressure meds. Let me ask everyone out there, am I deluding myself to think that there might be a chance for me to become a biological mother? My fibroids are small, and my hormones are still in order. Am I just too sensitive on this subject or was she out of line? The one thing in life I wanted all along is to have children , I just do not think that it is unreasonable for me to not jump at a hysterectomy. My Gyn. has not even brought up the subject, he said I may have to have a D & C, but that is a long way away from hysterectomy. I just feel that the PA should have concentrated on my blood pressure, it was by the way128/75, and kept her nose out of my reproductive situation. Sorry this is so long and rambling , I guess I just had to vent. Thanks fo listening. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 Kim - No, you are not overly sensitive. Regardless of wanting or not wanting children, she had NO RIGHT to say you *needed* a hsyterectomy, let alone the comment about never being able to have a baby! My gosh, especially if the fibroids aren't significantly symptomatic! Realistically, the chances of getting pregnant may be less than when you were younger...but there are a lot of unexpected " late in life " babies walking around in this world, so why not some planned ones?? I have a friend that re-married late at about 38. She had a teenage stepdaughter, and after being married a year or two, she decided to have one of her own. She did exactly that, and more than that, she had a second child at 42. Another friend of mine had her first at 42. So, it is not an impossibility. I am 50 and childless, and am now comfortable with the knowledge that I won't have children...but it was a slow process getting here....and a long story that I won't go into... I would let your PCP know how inappropriate the remarks were...especially if your PCP is not of the same misinformed frameset. Best wishes to you, and good luck. I look forward to hopefully hearing a success story at some point! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 Kim, That PA was totally out of line to say what she did. I am appalled to learn of the many instances this happens to patients. Drs/PA's/nurses speak out of turn and don't realize the impact of what they are saying to patients. You could still have a baby. I know a lot of women who have babies in their 40's. My friend was 48 and she too had some small fibroids. So it is possible. I was in the ER for extreme bleeding/clotting last year and the handsome ER dr told me I too needed a hysterectomy. He didn't even examine me or anything. Only took a health history. I just ignored him. I figured I knew more about fibroids from my research than he did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 Kim--you may need fertility help to have a baby, but maybe not. I know women who have had children in their 40s. The PA was out of line, in my opinion, and if I were in your shoes I would mention the interchange to your doc or the head of the department. I think they would really want to know about her behavior. Don't let this incident stop you from pursuing your goal. Faryl Re: needing to vent >today i went to my PCP's office, I had to see the female PA rather than my >doc. While I was updating lists of meds, I told her that I had recently >been on Provera for 12 days to try to correct cycle. I have had heavy bleeding > recently. She looked at me and told me that I will have to have a > hysterectomy, she said this without blinking an eye. I told her that I do > not want to have a hysterectomy now, I am 40 but still want to have > children. She took it upon herself to tell that she doubted that I would > ever hace a baby. I may be 40, but the are women who have had babies past > 40. > What bothered me was that my appointment today was to get a refill of >blood pressure meds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 I am in total agreement with you. It is none of her business. Women over 40 are aware of the statistics and there are always people out there who not only try to completely discuorage you, but in addition, give you the advice to have a hysterectomy knowing that you have not given up hope to have a biological child(that is your right and priviledge)and recklessly offer hysterectomy as an option(even though you are able to live with the fibroids). I do not understand the logic or agenda of someone offering hysterectomy as an option when all of the above points are taken into consideration. Even though the statistics are not encouraging for women to have children once they reach forty, if a women is willing to try and make it happen, she should only surround herself with people who present the statistics honestly, but do everything the can to support her decision in trying to make it happen. Keep your dream alive, work with people who will try to help you make your dream happen, and keep people like this at a distance. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 I am in total agreement with you. It is none of her business. Women over 40 are aware of the statistics and there are always people out there who not only try to completely discuorage you, but in addition, give you the advice to have a hysterectomy knowing that you have not given up hope to have a biological child(that is your right and priviledge)and recklessly offer hysterectomy as an option(even though you are able to live with the fibroids). I do not understand the logic or agenda of someone offering hysterectomy as an option when all of the above points are taken into consideration. Even though the statistics are not encouraging for women to have children once they reach forty, if a women is willing to try and make it happen, she should only surround herself with people who present the statistics honestly, but do everything the can to support her decision in trying to make it happen. Keep your dream alive, work with people who will try to help you make your dream happen, and keep people like this at a distance. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 I am in total agreement with you. It is none of her business. Women over 40 are aware of the statistics and there are always people out there who not only try to completely discuorage you, but in addition, give you the advice to have a hysterectomy knowing that you have not given up hope to have a biological child(that is your right and priviledge)and recklessly offer hysterectomy as an option(even though you are able to live with the fibroids). I do not understand the logic or agenda of someone offering hysterectomy as an option when all of the above points are taken into consideration. Even though the statistics are not encouraging for women to have children once they reach forty, if a women is willing to try and make it happen, she should only surround herself with people who present the statistics honestly, but do everything the can to support her decision in trying to make it happen. Keep your dream alive, work with people who will try to help you make your dream happen, and keep people like this at a distance. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 My friend didn't start her family until after 40. Now at 43, she has 2 girls (last one born Aug) and needed no fertility help. There's much hope. farylpaul wrote:Kim--you may need fertility help to have a baby, but maybe not. I know women who have had children in their 40s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 My friend didn't start her family until after 40. Now at 43, she has 2 girls (last one born Aug) and needed no fertility help. There's much hope. farylpaul wrote:Kim--you may need fertility help to have a baby, but maybe not. I know women who have had children in their 40s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 My friend didn't start her family until after 40. Now at 43, she has 2 girls (last one born Aug) and needed no fertility help. There's much hope. farylpaul wrote:Kim--you may need fertility help to have a baby, but maybe not. I know women who have had children in their 40s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 One of my best friends is now 32 and her mother is 78. So, mom was 46. She had no help!!! That friend of mine also has a brother who is about 35.....so mom was a bit older for both pregnancies. Another woman that I know got pregnant by accident when she was 42 or 43. She already had a 22 year old. SHe assumed she could not get pregnant again. It does happen. My dr. has warned me that at 34, my time is running out. For me, if the time comes and I have a problem, I'd be happy to adopt children, if I can. Some people may not like that choice but I think I'd be okay with it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.