Re: school troubles (long)

[Guest guest]

Hi Joe,

I read your note below with some interest because is not far

behind Josh in his schooling.

When we first put in a special ed preschool, he wasn't

talking. Many of the kids in his class were also not talking but

most would be years before they could talk. Also, none had any

social skills to speak of. We felt this wasn't right. After many

meetings, complaints and letters was placed in a private

school with non special ed students. Our feeling was that he needed

the socialization to help with his speech etc. This has worked out

well. However, in some areas he is still behind. So come June we

will be faced with moving on to kindergarten or repeating

this preschool.

But, I digress. You asked about Josh.

You could keep Josh in a regular kindergarten for the socialization

but request an aid to work with Josh for his academics portion of the

class.

Or you could flip it around, have Josh go into the special ed class

but request a " play buddy " for Josh during breaks. The play buddy

would be someone about Josh's age to play with and help with his

socialization. They would do this at 's preschool. Actually his

play buddy was 3 or 4 kids 's age. They would play as a group for

about 20 - 30 minutes a day.

Just a couple of possibilities.

Maybe the teachers here have other better ideaas.

I hope this helps.

Ken M

> Kathie and I were rather upset this summer when Dr. H. told us at

> the Magic conference that this our son 'has no business in a

> regular first grade classroom. " Well, now we have to admit that

> she may have been right.

>

> did fairly well in kindergarten last year, especially

considering

> that he has a hearing loss which wasn't diagnosed until more than

halfway

> into the school year, and he didn't get his hearing aids until near

the end

> of the year, so he missed hearing much of what was going on all

year.

> Even though he was still significantly behind all the other kids,

> everyone kept saying that he had made such great progress, and there

> was no reason for him not to go on to first grade this year. We

agreed,

> with the provision that his IEP included lots of special services:

ST, OT,

> adaptive PE, and tutoring in the areas he was lagging behind.

>

> Even with all that, isn't doing too well in 1st grade. Most

of the

> classwork is way over his head; i.e., the other kids are learning

how to

> read, while he's still learning his letters; the other kids are

learning how

> to add and subtract while he's still learning how to count. Kathie

and I

> have gone to observe him in class several times, and noticed that he

just

> " tunes out " when the assignments are too difficult for him. Even

the things

> he is able to do, he's much slower than the other kids. So about a

month

> ago we had a meeting with his teacher and a couple of the

specialists who

> work with him.

>

> We decided to try putting him in kindergarten half a day, and first

grade

> the other half, with the expectation that he would probably repeat

first

> grade next year. This seemed like a good plan: kindergarten would

help

> him with the academic areas that he was weak in, and he would still

get

> to socialize with his peers in first grade (he'll be 7 years old

next

> month).

> But he's still struggling. The first grade kids are advancing way

ahead of

> them, and he seems totally lost when he's in there. The work in the

> kindergarten class is more at his level, but even there he has

trouble

> staying on task and completing his assignments. So now we're

considering

> the possibility of putting him in a special ed class.

>

> This is frustrating for us. was in a special ed preschool,

but we

> were hopeful that by the time he reached the primary grades he could

be

> mainstreamed into a regular classroom. It seems like regressing to

go

> back to special ed. But we want what's best for , and the

classes

> he's in now don't seem to be meeting his needs. And he says that he

> doesn't LIKE going to school - that's not supposed to happen until

kids

> are older!

>

> Last week we visited a special ed class that was recommended for

him.

> The teacher seemed very good, firm but in a gentle way, engaging and

> encouring all the kids. There are only 6 kids in the class, and she

has an

> aid. The activities they were doing seemed right about at 's

level.

> Our only concern, a big one, is that the other kids appear to have

more

> " cognitive issues " than : autism, Asberger's syndrome, etc.,

so

> we're not sure how he would fit in socially.

>

> Anyway, we're having an IEP meeting on Thursday to discuss all this

> and figure out what's best for . We'd appreciate suggestions

> (and prayers!) as we make this important decision for 's

future.

>

> Sorry this is so long - I haven' t posted for a while, so now I'm

> making up for it!

>

> - Joe

>

> PS- Still waiting for insurance approval for GH....

[Guest guest]

Joe,

I'm wondering whether 's learning issues are more because he missed so

much with his hearing and now feels embarassed. My mom went through this - she

had a lot of childhood illnesses. I wonder if one-on-one tutoring might help

him to catch up better that being in a class with children whose issues are

more cognitive than 'catching up'.... Just a thought.

Inga

At 10:45 AM 12/11/2001 -0800, you wrote:

>

> Kathie and I were rather upset this summer when Dr. H. told us at

> the Magic conference that this our son 'has no business in a

> regular first grade classroom. " Well, now we have to admit that

> she may have been right.

>

> did fairly well in kindergarten last year, especially considering

> that he has a hearing loss which wasn't diagnosed until more than halfway

> into the school year, and he didn't get his hearing aids until near the end

> of the year, so he missed hearing much of what was going on all year.

> Even though he was still significantly behind all the other kids,

> everyone kept saying that he had made such great progress, and there

> was no reason for him not to go on to first grade this year. We agreed,

> with the provision that his IEP included lots of special services: ST, OT,

> adaptive PE, and tutoring in the areas he was lagging behind.

>

> Even with all that, isn't doing too well in 1st grade. Most of the

> classwork is way over his head; i.e., the other kids are learning how to

> read, while he's still learning his letters; the other kids are learning how

> to add and subtract while he's still learning how to count. Kathie and I

> have gone to observe him in class several times, and noticed that he just

> " tunes out " when the assignments are too difficult for him. Even the things

> he is able to do, he's much slower than the other kids. So about a month

> ago we had a meeting with his teacher and a couple of the specialists who

> work with him.

>

> We decided to try putting him in kindergarten half a day, and first grade

> the other half, with the expectation that he would probably repeat first

> grade next year. This seemed like a good plan: kindergarten would help

> him with the academic areas that he was weak in, and he would still get

> to socialize with his peers in first grade (he'll be 7 years old next

> month).

> But he's still struggling. The first grade kids are advancing way ahead of

> them, and he seems totally lost when he's in there. The work in the

> kindergarten class is more at his level, but even there he has trouble

> staying on task and completing his assignments. So now we're considering

> the possibility of putting him in a special ed class.

>

> This is frustrating for us. was in a special ed preschool, but we

> were hopeful that by the time he reached the primary grades he could be

> mainstreamed into a regular classroom. It seems like regressing to go

> back to special ed. But we want what's best for , and the classes

> he's in now don't seem to be meeting his needs. And he says that he

> doesn't LIKE going to school - that's not supposed to happen until kids

> are older!

>

> Last week we visited a special ed class that was recommended for him.

> The teacher seemed very good, firm but in a gentle way, engaging and

> encouring all the kids. There are only 6 kids in the class, and she has an

> aid. The activities they were doing seemed right about at 's level.

> Our only concern, a big one, is that the other kids appear to have more

> " cognitive issues " than : autism, Asberger's syndrome, etc., so

> we're not sure how he would fit in socially.

>

> Anyway, we're having an IEP meeting on Thursday to discuss all this

> and figure out what's best for . We'd appreciate suggestions

> (and prayers!) as we make this important decision for 's future.

>

> Sorry this is so long - I haven' t posted for a while, so now I'm

> making up for it!

>

> - Joe

>

> PS- Still waiting for insurance approval for GH....

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Inga,

Thanks for the reply. He is getting one-on-one tutoring through

the " resource specialist " at his school, but it's only an hour a day,

which isn't enough. We could ask for more, but I think the school

feels that if he needs more than that, he should be in a special day

class, where he can get more individualized attention all day.

- Joe

> Joe,

>

> I'm wondering whether 's learning issues are more because he

missed so

> much with his hearing and now feels embarassed. My mom went

through this - she

> had a lot of childhood illnesses. I wonder if one-on-one tutoring

might help

> him to catch up better that being in a class with children whose

issues are

> more cognitive than 'catching up'.... Just a thought.

>

> Inga

>

[Guest guest]

hi,

My name is Kim and I am a music teacher and also hold

a special ed certifictae--I work with multiple

handicapped children with music therapy also. I have

a 3 year old with RSS and a 16 year son also. My

point in wiritng to you is this: I have a child in my

school (one of my closet friend's sons) who is also a

borderline child compared to the other issues in the

special education classroom. It was a very hard

decision for her also, but I always remember this:

(he has been in there since K/1 also) he now has

terrific self esteem, because he is the " top " of the

class, and always feels successful and LOVES

school.(he is now a grade 5 student) He works with

his peers as a helper, and for the past few months,

has eased into a few other " regular " classes (his

specials first, like computer, art, music, etc) He

knows himself now that he has limitations, but that

they are not as severe as others. It has been

wonderful to watch and see this growth. As a teacher,

I think our school systems can really destroy a

children's self esteem sometimes, even in unknowing

ways, but by putting him in a room that caught him up

and gave him confidence, he is now very successful in

school. Remember, that it is your child's feelings

that count, not our own perception of the special ed

room, because even that has changed.

Fondly, Kim

--- Joe Blau wrote:

> Kathie and I were rather upset this summer when Dr.

> H. told us at

> the Magic conference that this our son 'has

> no business in a

> regular first grade classroom. " Well, now we have

> to admit that

> she may have been right.

>

> did fairly well in kindergarten last year,

> especially considering

> that he has a hearing loss which wasn't diagnosed

> until more than halfway

> into the school year, and he didn't get his hearing

> aids until near the end

> of the year, so he missed hearing much of what was

> going on all year.

> Even though he was still significantly behind all

> the other kids,

> everyone kept saying that he had made such great

> progress, and there

> was no reason for him not to go on to first grade

> this year. We agreed,

> with the provision that his IEP included lots of

> special services: ST, OT,

> adaptive PE, and tutoring in the areas he was

> lagging behind.

>

> Even with all that, isn't doing too well in

> 1st grade. Most of the

> classwork is way over his head; i.e., the other kids

> are learning how to

> read, while he's still learning his letters; the

> other kids are learning how

> to add and subtract while he's still learning how to

> count. Kathie and I

> have gone to observe him in class several times, and

> noticed that he just

> " tunes out " when the assignments are too difficult

> for him. Even the things

> he is able to do, he's much slower than the other

> kids. So about a month

> ago we had a meeting with his teacher and a couple

> of the specialists who

> work with him.

>

> We decided to try putting him in kindergarten half a

> day, and first grade

> the other half, with the expectation that he would

> probably repeat first

> grade next year. This seemed like a good plan:

> kindergarten would help

> him with the academic areas that he was weak in, and

> he would still get

> to socialize with his peers in first grade (he'll be

> 7 years old next

> month).

> But he's still struggling. The first grade kids are

> advancing way ahead of

> them, and he seems totally lost when he's in there.

> The work in the

> kindergarten class is more at his level, but even

> there he has trouble

> staying on task and completing his assignments. So

> now we're considering

> the possibility of putting him in a special ed

> class.

>

> This is frustrating for us. was in a special

> ed preschool, but we

> were hopeful that by the time he reached the primary

> grades he could be

> mainstreamed into a regular classroom. It seems

> like regressing to go

> back to special ed. But we want what's best for

> , and the classes

> he's in now don't seem to be meeting his needs. And

> he says that he

> doesn't LIKE going to school - that's not supposed

> to happen until kids

> are older!

>

> Last week we visited a special ed class that was

> recommended for him.

> The teacher seemed very good, firm but in a gentle

> way, engaging and

> encouring all the kids. There are only 6 kids in

> the class, and she has an

> aid. The activities they were doing seemed right

> about at 's level.

> Our only concern, a big one, is that the other kids

> appear to have more

> " cognitive issues " than : autism, Asberger's

> syndrome, etc., so

> we're not sure how he would fit in socially.

>

> Anyway, we're having an IEP meeting on Thursday to

> discuss all this

> and figure out what's best for . We'd

> appreciate suggestions

> (and prayers!) as we make this important decision

> for 's future.

>

> Sorry this is so long - I haven' t posted for a

> while, so now I'm

> making up for it!

>

> - Joe

>

> PS- Still waiting for insurance approval for GH....

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Joe,

Although I'm not there yet, I feel I will be in your shoes in just a few short

years.

I'm no expert by any means, but where my focus is is always on what's best for

the child.

A couple of thoughts: you could consider getting Josh a private one on one

para all the time

or

if you do decide to place him in a special ed. setting make sure he's with

normal/typical kids as much as possible outside of school. I feel it's

important to have our special ed kids to be normal as often as possible, but you

do have to do what's best for his learning environment.

Do you feel definately has some type of learning disability? I'm feeling

that way with anyway. is not progressing as well as your

typical child with a cochlear implant and we don't know why. The device is

working properly so the only thing we can think of is a LD. I'm already fearing

that will be held back in preschool to get more language into him while

my other two will be going off to kindergarten. I'm less than 2 years away from

making this decision, but already planning on that's probably the route we'll

travel. Boy, sometimes I just hate this job.

Well, I'm probably not being much help here, but I do relate to the tough

decision you have to make. Best of luck.

Cheryl

Mom to , , and (RSS, hearing loss, etc., etc., etc.)

[Guest guest]

Joe - WOW! You know, with Dr. H's personal experience with her own

learning disabilities, I guess she is probably more in tune with that

stuff than those of us who haven't experienced them?

What you described, your frustration about the special ed classroom

seeming the best for him, but worrying about his ability to socially

connect with the other children, is the same thing I hear all the

time on a local listserve I am a part of for parents of children with

IEPs in our town. For smaller communities, it is a problem.

Do you think there is any possibility that he could be in the special

ed classroom for class instruction stuff, but mainstreamed back into

the kindergarden class for recess, art and maybe other more social

times? (It does sound that the first grade class is not right for

him).

I wish you the absolute best. I know how dedicated you and Kathy are

to him, and what great parents you are.

Keep me posted.

> Kathie and I were rather upset this summer when Dr. H. told us at

> the Magic conference that this our son 'has no business in a

> regular first grade classroom. " Well, now we have to admit that

> she may have been right.

>

> did fairly well in kindergarten last year, especially

considering

> that he has a hearing loss which wasn't diagnosed until more than

halfway

> into the school year, and he didn't get his hearing aids until near

the end

> of the year, so he missed hearing much of what was going on all

year.

> Even though he was still significantly behind all the other kids,

> everyone kept saying that he had made such great progress, and there

> was no reason for him not to go on to first grade this year. We

agreed,

> with the provision that his IEP included lots of special services:

ST, OT,

> adaptive PE, and tutoring in the areas he was lagging behind.

>

> Even with all that, isn't doing too well in 1st grade. Most

of the

> classwork is way over his head; i.e., the other kids are learning

how to

> read, while he's still learning his letters; the other kids are

learning how

> to add and subtract while he's still learning how to count. Kathie

and I

> have gone to observe him in class several times, and noticed that

he just

> " tunes out " when the assignments are too difficult for him. Even

the things

> he is able to do, he's much slower than the other kids. So about a

month

> ago we had a meeting with his teacher and a couple of the

specialists who

> work with him.

>

> We decided to try putting him in kindergarten half a day, and first

grade

> the other half, with the expectation that he would probably repeat

first

> grade next year. This seemed like a good plan: kindergarten would

help

> him with the academic areas that he was weak in, and he would still

get

> to socialize with his peers in first grade (he'll be 7 years old

next

> month).

> But he's still struggling. The first grade kids are advancing way

ahead of

> them, and he seems totally lost when he's in there. The work in the

> kindergarten class is more at his level, but even there he has

trouble

> staying on task and completing his assignments. So now we're

considering

> the possibility of putting him in a special ed class.

>

> This is frustrating for us. was in a special ed preschool,

but we

> were hopeful that by the time he reached the primary grades he

could be

> mainstreamed into a regular classroom. It seems like regressing to

go

> back to special ed. But we want what's best for , and the

classes

> he's in now don't seem to be meeting his needs. And he says that he

> doesn't LIKE going to school - that's not supposed to happen until

kids

> are older!

>

> Last week we visited a special ed class that was recommended for

him.

> The teacher seemed very good, firm but in a gentle way, engaging and

> encouring all the kids. There are only 6 kids in the class, and

she has an

> aid. The activities they were doing seemed right about at 's

level.

> Our only concern, a big one, is that the other kids appear to have

more

> " cognitive issues " than : autism, Asberger's syndrome, etc.,

so

> we're not sure how he would fit in socially.

>

> Anyway, we're having an IEP meeting on Thursday to discuss all this

> and figure out what's best for . We'd appreciate suggestions

> (and prayers!) as we make this important decision for 's

future.

>

> Sorry this is so long - I haven' t posted for a while, so now I'm

> making up for it!

>

> - Joe

>

> PS- Still waiting for insurance approval for GH....

[Guest guest]

Joe - WOW! You know, with Dr. H's personal experience with her own

learning disabilities, I guess she is probably more in tune with that

stuff than those of us who haven't experienced them?

What you described, your frustration about the special ed classroom

seeming the best for him, but worrying about his ability to socially

connect with the other children, is the same thing I hear all the

time on a local listserve I am a part of for parents of children with

IEPs in our town. For smaller communities, it is a problem.

Do you think there is any possibility that he could be in the special

ed classroom for class instruction stuff, but mainstreamed back into

the kindergarden class for recess, art and maybe other more social

times? (It does sound that the first grade class is not right for

him).

I wish you the absolute best. I know how dedicated you and Kathy are

to him, and what great parents you are.

Keep me posted.

> Kathie and I were rather upset this summer when Dr. H. told us at

> the Magic conference that this our son 'has no business in a

> regular first grade classroom. " Well, now we have to admit that

> she may have been right.

>

> did fairly well in kindergarten last year, especially

considering

> that he has a hearing loss which wasn't diagnosed until more than

halfway

> into the school year, and he didn't get his hearing aids until near

the end

> of the year, so he missed hearing much of what was going on all

year.

> Even though he was still significantly behind all the other kids,

> everyone kept saying that he had made such great progress, and there

> was no reason for him not to go on to first grade this year. We

agreed,

> with the provision that his IEP included lots of special services:

ST, OT,

> adaptive PE, and tutoring in the areas he was lagging behind.

>

> Even with all that, isn't doing too well in 1st grade. Most

of the

> classwork is way over his head; i.e., the other kids are learning

how to

> read, while he's still learning his letters; the other kids are

learning how

> to add and subtract while he's still learning how to count. Kathie

and I

> have gone to observe him in class several times, and noticed that

he just

> " tunes out " when the assignments are too difficult for him. Even

the things

> he is able to do, he's much slower than the other kids. So about a

month

> ago we had a meeting with his teacher and a couple of the

specialists who

> work with him.

>

> We decided to try putting him in kindergarten half a day, and first

grade

> the other half, with the expectation that he would probably repeat

first

> grade next year. This seemed like a good plan: kindergarten would

help

> him with the academic areas that he was weak in, and he would still

get

> to socialize with his peers in first grade (he'll be 7 years old

next

> month).

> But he's still struggling. The first grade kids are advancing way

ahead of

> them, and he seems totally lost when he's in there. The work in the

> kindergarten class is more at his level, but even there he has

trouble

> staying on task and completing his assignments. So now we're

considering

> the possibility of putting him in a special ed class.

>

> This is frustrating for us. was in a special ed preschool,

but we

> were hopeful that by the time he reached the primary grades he

could be

> mainstreamed into a regular classroom. It seems like regressing to

go

> back to special ed. But we want what's best for , and the

classes

> he's in now don't seem to be meeting his needs. And he says that he

> doesn't LIKE going to school - that's not supposed to happen until

kids

> are older!

>

> Last week we visited a special ed class that was recommended for

him.

> The teacher seemed very good, firm but in a gentle way, engaging and

> encouring all the kids. There are only 6 kids in the class, and

she has an

> aid. The activities they were doing seemed right about at 's

level.

> Our only concern, a big one, is that the other kids appear to have

more

> " cognitive issues " than : autism, Asberger's syndrome, etc.,

so

> we're not sure how he would fit in socially.

>

> Anyway, we're having an IEP meeting on Thursday to discuss all this

> and figure out what's best for . We'd appreciate suggestions

> (and prayers!) as we make this important decision for 's

future.

>

> Sorry this is so long - I haven' t posted for a while, so now I'm

> making up for it!

>

> - Joe

>

> PS- Still waiting for insurance approval for GH....

[Guest guest]

Hi , I noticed that when you responded to Joe you mentioned that Dr.

H had learning disabilities. I cannot believe it. It goes to show you that

one can overcome anything. Can you expand a little and describe what

disabilities she had? Just curious. It gives us hope. Thanks

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