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Cecilia:

We've all been there. Don't beat yourself up. None of us is

perfect. I can tell by your post that you have learned an important

lesson here. You are AWARE! And you're facing this and talking

about it.

DON'T GIVE UP. Our old way of " all or nothing " diet mentality would

tell us to just throw in the towel and go for the food. You're

learning a new skill and perfection is not the goal, improvement is.

Getting it right will take lots of practice, patience and

repetition. It's hard to make good choices for ourselves when we've

been used to simply turning to food.

Take a moment and congratulate yourself for the strides you're

making. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you can do it.

Also commit to that deserving woman that you will fight to do better

for her. Also remind her that you will also love her with all her

faults because she's got lots of lovable qualities too. She's not a

bad person, she just had a bad day. This too will pass, and the NEXT

meal, she'll be on track again (no need to wait until next Monday,

get back on track NOW).

Hope this helps. This is what I did to get myself through the rough

patches. You'll make it. Just believe you can.

Gemello

-145 lbs

> I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals and

> two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went haywire

> and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I

guess

> where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is I

> didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and axiety

> that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food. This

> is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra 2

oz

> after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that is

> why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I think

> and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not going

> to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> living.

> I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys can

> help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser. I

> guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to grips

> with myself.

>

> cecilia

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Cecilia:

We've all been there. Don't beat yourself up. None of us is

perfect. I can tell by your post that you have learned an important

lesson here. You are AWARE! And you're facing this and talking

about it.

DON'T GIVE UP. Our old way of " all or nothing " diet mentality would

tell us to just throw in the towel and go for the food. You're

learning a new skill and perfection is not the goal, improvement is.

Getting it right will take lots of practice, patience and

repetition. It's hard to make good choices for ourselves when we've

been used to simply turning to food.

Take a moment and congratulate yourself for the strides you're

making. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you can do it.

Also commit to that deserving woman that you will fight to do better

for her. Also remind her that you will also love her with all her

faults because she's got lots of lovable qualities too. She's not a

bad person, she just had a bad day. This too will pass, and the NEXT

meal, she'll be on track again (no need to wait until next Monday,

get back on track NOW).

Hope this helps. This is what I did to get myself through the rough

patches. You'll make it. Just believe you can.

Gemello

-145 lbs

> I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals and

> two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went haywire

> and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I

guess

> where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is I

> didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and axiety

> that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food. This

> is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra 2

oz

> after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that is

> why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I think

> and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not going

> to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> living.

> I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys can

> help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser. I

> guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to grips

> with myself.

>

> cecilia

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THANK YOU! YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT THOUGH BLINDED BY TEARS

REALLY HELPED. YOUR RIGHT..ITS ALWAYS BEEN IN THE MORNING OR NEXT

MONDAY....ONE LAST BINGE.......I WONT BINGE TONIGHT! I REALLY CAN DO

IT...THANK YOU

CECILIA

> > I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> > and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals

and

> > two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went

haywire

> > and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> > well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> > today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I

> guess

> > where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> > night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> > fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is

I

> > didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and

axiety

> > that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food.

This

> > is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra

2

> oz

> > after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> > will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> > besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that

is

> > why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I

think

> > and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not

going

> > to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> > living.

> > I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys

can

> > help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser.

I

> > guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to

grips

> > with myself.

> >

> > cecilia

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THANK YOU! YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT THOUGH BLINDED BY TEARS

REALLY HELPED. YOUR RIGHT..ITS ALWAYS BEEN IN THE MORNING OR NEXT

MONDAY....ONE LAST BINGE.......I WONT BINGE TONIGHT! I REALLY CAN DO

IT...THANK YOU

CECILIA

> > I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> > and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals

and

> > two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went

haywire

> > and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> > well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> > today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I

> guess

> > where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> > night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> > fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is

I

> > didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and

axiety

> > that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food.

This

> > is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra

2

> oz

> > after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> > will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> > besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that

is

> > why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I

think

> > and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not

going

> > to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> > living.

> > I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys

can

> > help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser.

I

> > guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to

grips

> > with myself.

> >

> > cecilia

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Cecilia, it seems like you have the right

attitude about this. We are not perfect – you do the best you can day by

day. If today wasn’t so good, let yourself start

out with a clean slate tomorrow and just take each day on its own. Just the

fact that you were able to recognize the things noted in your post and the

impact that could have post-op is a really good sign. Keep trying, be kind to yourself and you’ll do it!!!!

- Lesa -

I cant lie anymore

I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are

required)

and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at

three meals and

two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and

mood went haywire

and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more

that day, day 5?

well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked

more. day 6

today, funny but not eating too much but eating

humble crow. I guess

where I am at is that my old self would go back to

class Monday

night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I

have lied and

fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth.

The truth is I

didnt bother trying anything else to releive the

stress and axiety

that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself

with food. This

is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food

or and extra 2 oz

after surgery will be the same destructive way of

not dealing. I

will have to find other ways to release the stress

and axiety

besides food especially carbs. Its right there in

my face that is

why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at

the way I think

and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods

that are not going

to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it

will not be

living.

I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think

that you guys can

help me, especially with the hoops we must jump

through kaiser. I

guess it is a good thing because I need the time

to come to grips

with myself.

cecilia

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Cecilia,

Dont beat yourself up over it! In the beginning its a learning

process...baby steps...think of the things that you did do right.

Maybe you exercised 2 days this week...where last week you did no

exercise. You had some " good eating " days where last week they were

all bad eating days. You are going to have times where your eating

isnt perfect, but, let it pass, its done, do the next meal right. The

changes take time and you'll still have slip ups, they key is to not

make the slip up a permanant thing. Congratulations to you for

realizing that you need to be honest with yourself...that is a huge

acomplishment right there.

Hang in there!

Shanna

> I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals and

> two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went haywire

> and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I

guess

> where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is I

> didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and axiety

> that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food. This

> is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra 2

oz

> after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that is

> why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I think

> and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not going

> to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> living.

> I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys can

> help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser. I

> guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to grips

> with myself.

>

> cecilia

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Hi Cecilia,

I think that you have already achieved a major goal . . . learning that

we need to be honest. I love the way you phrased that " I have lied and

fooled no one for too long. " Isn't it amazing that we actually thought

we were fooling anybody but ourselves?

One of the hardest things for me in keeping a food journal was being

able to be completely honest - just seeing those indulgences in print

made them all too real and made me feel more accountable for them - but,

of course, that is what I needed. Somewhere along in this journey, it

got real clear for me that I am doing this for me, not to appease or

impress anyone else, including the doctors or nurses who see my stats.

I hate to admit how slow I was to really incorporate that concept into

my thinking.

I'm glad that you felt free to tell us - we are here to support you.

All the best,

Kay

in San Leandro

open RNY 12/1/03

cecilia wrote:

> I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals and

> two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went haywire

> and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I guess

> where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is I

> didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and axiety

> that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food. This

> is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra 2 oz

> after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that is

> why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I think

> and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not going

> to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> living.

> I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys can

> help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser. I

> guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to grips

> with myself.

>

> cecilia

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Hi Cecilia,

I think that you have already achieved a major goal . . . learning that

we need to be honest. I love the way you phrased that " I have lied and

fooled no one for too long. " Isn't it amazing that we actually thought

we were fooling anybody but ourselves?

One of the hardest things for me in keeping a food journal was being

able to be completely honest - just seeing those indulgences in print

made them all too real and made me feel more accountable for them - but,

of course, that is what I needed. Somewhere along in this journey, it

got real clear for me that I am doing this for me, not to appease or

impress anyone else, including the doctors or nurses who see my stats.

I hate to admit how slow I was to really incorporate that concept into

my thinking.

I'm glad that you felt free to tell us - we are here to support you.

All the best,

Kay

in San Leandro

open RNY 12/1/03

cecilia wrote:

> I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals and

> two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went haywire

> and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I guess

> where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is I

> didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and axiety

> that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food. This

> is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra 2 oz

> after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that is

> why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I think

> and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not going

> to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> living.

> I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys can

> help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser. I

> guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to grips

> with myself.

>

> cecilia

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Hi Cecilia,

I think that you have already achieved a major goal . . . learning that

we need to be honest. I love the way you phrased that " I have lied and

fooled no one for too long. " Isn't it amazing that we actually thought

we were fooling anybody but ourselves?

One of the hardest things for me in keeping a food journal was being

able to be completely honest - just seeing those indulgences in print

made them all too real and made me feel more accountable for them - but,

of course, that is what I needed. Somewhere along in this journey, it

got real clear for me that I am doing this for me, not to appease or

impress anyone else, including the doctors or nurses who see my stats.

I hate to admit how slow I was to really incorporate that concept into

my thinking.

I'm glad that you felt free to tell us - we are here to support you.

All the best,

Kay

in San Leandro

open RNY 12/1/03

cecilia wrote:

> I am at the mindful eating stage (the classes that are required)

> and the first 3 days of the first week i stayed at three meals and

> two planned snacks. On the 4th day my nerves and mood went haywire

> and pressure at work seemed endless. I ate more that day, day 5?

> well i ate even more at each meal and then snacked more. day 6

> today, funny but not eating too much but eating humble crow. I guess

> where I am at is that my old self would go back to class Monday

> night with made up paper work. I cant anymore, I have lied and

> fooled no one for too long. I will tell the truth. The truth is I

> didnt bother trying anything else to releive the stress and axiety

> that I used to eat. It was easier to sedate myself with food. This

> is a patter with me. So I figure that a lb of food or and extra 2 oz

> after surgery will be the same destructive way of not dealing. I

> will have to find other ways to release the stress and axiety

> besides food especially carbs. Its right there in my face that is

> why it is called mindful eating! I have to look at the way I think

> and respond or after surgery if I turn to foods that are not going

> to keep me healthy (the reason I am doing this) it will not be

> living.

> I guess I just needed to tell someone and I think that you guys can

> help me, especially with the hoops we must jump through kaiser. I

> guess it is a good thing because I need the time to come to grips

> with myself.

>

> cecilia

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