Guest guest Posted June 9, 2003 Report Share Posted June 9, 2003 > 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He > thought he was God and I didn't. > 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. > 3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me. > 4. Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them. > 5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. > 6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. > 7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. > 8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. > 9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. > 10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research. > 11. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing. > 12. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. > 13. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning > medicine. > 14. God must love stupid people; he made so many. > 15. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. > 16. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you. > 17. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. > 18. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? > 19. MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup > crew. > 20. Being " over the hill " is much better than being under it. > 21. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew > up. > 22. Proscrastinate Now! > 23. My dog can lick anyone! > 24. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that? > 25. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the > software. > 26. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. > 27. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. > 28. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere! > 29. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. > 30. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. > 31. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up > three thousand times the memory on your computer. > 32. HAM AND EGGS -- A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime > comitment for a pig. > 33. The trouble with life is there's no background music. Ann Pritchard " Deep in the center of our beings is an infinite wealth of love " <A HREF= " http://www.rheumatic.org/medhist.htm " >http://www.rheumatic.org/medhist.htm\ </A> < latest published work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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