Re: venting (thanks for your support)

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone and welcome new members!

I just wanted to thank all of you for your support. You all are such

wonderful people!!!

And , my prayers are with you. Take care of yourself. Let's us

know how it's going.

You know, I was thinking this morning, " Do I think I'm better than

Beulah? " And I really had to mull this over in my head, because I

don't feel like I think I'm better than her. Let me try to explain

this…

I know we all have our challenges and people deal with things in

different ways. The choices we make don't make us " better " people,

if you get my drift. And I NEVER want to think that I'm better than

anyone else. I strive to see us all as good people with kind hearts

deep down. OK, so maybe I've got rose-colored glasses on, but hey, I

try to see the good in life and minimize the bad. Sometimes, you

just gotta have faith that the bad stuff you can't control will be

taken care of.

Anyway, I was left with the question: So what sets us apart here in

our wonderful support group? And the answer came to me. We're not

better or perfect, but we're courageous. Courage sets us apart.

Zach told me once that I was the most courageous person he knew

because I faced this disease head on and have done everything in my

power to make this work. Me courageous? Me?

Well, yes. We here are one courageous bunch! And bless her heart,

but Beulah's choices are ruled by fear. Each and every one of us

here is facing this disease head-on and making life-altering

changes. That takes stamina and faith and hope against all odds. We

are climbing mountains here that few dare to climb.

I recently heard a line in a movie that fits this

perfectly. " Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the

ability to face your fear. " OK, I'll admit it; the line (a

paraphrase) is from Princess Diaries 2. Not such a great movie, but

at least I got that one tiny grain of truth from it, so I guess the 9

bucks was worth it.

Thank you all for blanketing me with your support. It means the

world to me and allows me to continue to have the courage I need to

face my challenges. I am so lucky that I don't work with those

fearful people everyday. I work in a satellite office where my

supervisor and the warehouse guys are great. The guys are entirely

un-phased by my weight loss. When they ask about it (very rarely)

they totally accept that I workout and watch what I eat. All they

want to know is how I am working out; we discuss cardio and muscle

toning with weight lifting. They couldn't care less about what I'm

eating or why. It feels great to be just one of the guys.

Gemello

-140 lbs

> I'm a women, too, and have worked in offices about 20 years

and I

> say, " HEAR, HEAR! " to your post! You are right!

>

> - Lesa -

>

> Re: venting

>

> Hey Gemello,

>

> Welcome to the wonderful world of office politics! I don't know

your

> age or work history but I've been in offices for 27 years and there

is

> no worse place to be when it comes to jealousy. Yes, that's what it

> boils down to. In this instance, you have accomplished something

that

> these women can only dream about because they don't have the guts

to do

> something about their weight. You have been such an inspiration to

me

> as I'm going through this process (still pre-op and waiting) and I

can't

> imagine anyone who really meant you anything buy harm being jealous

of

> you taking back your life and health. I will tell you from

experience

> with previous weight loss that those who are not losing are totally

> pissed off at your accomplishment. Like everyone here, I've lost

and

> gained about a million pounds. My most successful weight loss

journey

> started in 1987 with Weight Watchers. It took me three years but I

lost

> 102 lbs. Anyway, I started the journey with my best friend who also

> needed to lose at least that much weight. Well after the first

month

> I'd lost about 15 lbs and she'd only lost about five. Instead of

being

> happy about her five, I could tell she was really resentful and

started

> making really negative comments. I finally went to my group leader

and

> expressed my concern and she told me that is very common in weight

loss

> among friends. I was so disappointed that my friend was not happy

for

> my accomplishment, but I finally had to tell her that I could not be

> responsible for her success or failure and would not be made to feel

> guilty about my accomplishment. She dropped out of the group

eventually

> and I went on to lose the weight--till I got married and pregnant

and

> gained it back!

>

> Anyway, don't let these women get to you. No offense to anyone on

this

> list, but my experience is that female co-workers are the cattiest,

back

> stabbingest bunch of hens there are!! Being a women, I'll say that

I've

> found there is far less jealousy and insecurity among male co-

workers.

> I'll bet you anything, they'd give there fat right arms to be able

to

> fit into your very much smaller jeans!!

>

> (Sac)

[Guest guest]

Gemello, did you really think you were going to just casually slip in that

“-140 lbs”???? Congratulations you lost two more pounds! An even

140 – that is awesome!

And, you are right, at least I agree, we

are courageous and that does set us apart from those who are not yet able to

face their fears. It’s just unfortunate that those people tend to want to

drag us down with them instead of respecting our courage. I don’t know

what it is about gender, but you really hit the nail on the head when you said

the warehouse guys just want to know how you’re working out and they don’t

care what you’re eating or why. That is so male, and it is so female to

want to know every other little detail. Oh well, I guess that’s another

topic.

Kudos to you for putting this into

perspective and maintaining your healthy, well-adjusted outlook on things!

- Lesa -

Re:

venting

>

> Hey Gemello,

>

> Welcome to the wonderful world of office

politics! I don't know

your

> age or work history but I've been in offices

for 27 years and there

is

> no worse place to be when it comes to

jealousy. Yes, that's what it

> boils down to. In this instance, you

have accomplished something

that

> these women can only dream about because they

don't have the guts

to do

> something about their weight. You have

been such an inspiration to

me

> as I'm going through this process (still

pre-op and waiting) and I

can't

> imagine anyone who really meant you anything

buy harm being jealous

of

> you taking back your life and health. I

will tell you from

experience

> with previous weight loss that those who are

not losing are totally

> pissed off at your accomplishment. Like

everyone here, I've lost

and

> gained about a million pounds. My most

successful weight loss

journey

> started in 1987 with Weight Watchers.

It took me three years but I

lost

> 102 lbs. Anyway, I started the journey

with my best friend who also

> needed to lose at least that much

weight. Well after the first

month

> I'd lost about 15 lbs and she'd only lost

about five. Instead of

being

> happy about her five, I could tell she was

really resentful and

started

> making really negative comments. I

finally went to my group leader

and

> expressed my concern and she told me that is

very common in weight

loss

> among friends. I was so disappointed

that my friend was not happy

for

> my accomplishment, but I finally had to tell

her that I could not be

> responsible for her success or failure and

would not be made to feel

> guilty about my accomplishment. She

dropped out of the group

eventually

> and I went on to lose the weight--till I got

married and pregnant

and

> gained it back!

>

> Anyway, don't let these women get to

you. No offense to anyone on

this

> list, but my experience is that female

co-workers are the cattiest,

back

> stabbingest bunch of hens there are!!

Being a women, I'll say that

I've

> found there is far less jealousy and

insecurity among male co-

workers.

> I'll bet you anything, they'd give there fat

right arms to be able

to

> fit into your very much smaller jeans!!

>

> (Sac)

[Guest guest]

Gemello, did you really think you were going to just casually slip in that

“-140 lbs”???? Congratulations you lost two more pounds! An even

140 – that is awesome!

And, you are right, at least I agree, we are

courageous and that does set us apart from those who are not yet able to face

their fears. It’s just unfortunate that those people tend to want to drag

us down with them instead of respecting our courage. I don’t know what it

is about gender, but you really hit the nail on the head when you said the

warehouse guys just want to know how you’re working out and they

don’t care what you’re eating or why. That is so male, and it is so

female to want to know every other little detail. Oh well, I guess that’s

another topic.

Kudos to you for putting this into

perspective and maintaining your healthy, well-adjusted outlook on things!

- Lesa -

Re:

venting

>

> Hey Gemello,

>

> Welcome to the wonderful world of office

politics! I don't know

your

> age or work history but I've been in offices

for 27 years and there

is

> no worse place to be when it comes to

jealousy. Yes, that's what it

> boils down to. In this instance, you

have accomplished something

that

> these women can only dream about because they

don't have the guts

to do

> something about their weight. You have

been such an inspiration to

me

> as I'm going through this process (still

pre-op and waiting) and I

can't

> imagine anyone who really meant you anything

buy harm being jealous

of

> you taking back your life and health. I

will tell you from

experience

> with previous weight loss that those who are

not losing are totally

> pissed off at your accomplishment. Like

everyone here, I've lost

and

> gained about a million pounds. My most

successful weight loss

journey

> started in 1987 with Weight Watchers.

It took me three years but I

lost

> 102 lbs. Anyway, I started the journey with

my best friend who also

> needed to lose at least that much

weight. Well after the first

month

> I'd lost about 15 lbs and she'd only lost

about five. Instead of

being

> happy about her five, I could tell she was

really resentful and

started

> making really negative comments. I

finally went to my group leader

and

> expressed my concern and she told me that is

very common in weight

loss

> among friends. I was so disappointed

that my friend was not happy

for

> my accomplishment, but I finally had to tell

her that I could not be

> responsible for her success or failure and

would not be made to feel

> guilty about my accomplishment. She

dropped out of the group

eventually

> and I went on to lose the weight--till I got

married and pregnant

and

> gained it back!

>

> Anyway, don't let these women get to

you. No offense to anyone on

this

> list, but my experience is that female

co-workers are the cattiest,

back

> stabbingest bunch of hens there are!!

Being a women, I'll say that

I've

> found there is far less jealousy and

insecurity among male co-

workers.

> I'll bet you anything, they'd give there fat

right arms to be able

to

> fit into your very much smaller jeans!!

>

> (Sac)

[Guest guest]

Hey Gem,

Just so you know, I don't think any of us here got the feeling that you think you are better then Beulah or anyone else. You are right, courageous is the word that best describes those of you who have gone the whole nine yards and are already post op. Maybe that's why the Kaiser process is so long, to help us conquer our fear and make the corageous decision to go through with this and do what is best for our lives.

Hats off to you again for being so magnanimous towards Beulah. You are right, she is fearful and jealous that you had the courage to face your fear head on and get past it. She does need our sympathy but not to the point that she can be allowed to continue to back stab you. Whatever our personal beliefs, we should all saya pray, light a candle, meditate, whatever, for Beulah and those like her. They really do need help.

ChrisGemello DiGiovanni wrote:

Hello everyone and welcome new members!I just wanted to thank all of you for your support. You all are such wonderful people!!!And , my prayers are with you. Take care of yourself. Let's us know how it's going.You know, I was thinking this morning, "Do I think I'm better than Beulah?" And I really had to mull this over in my head, because I don't feel like I think I'm better than her. Let me try to explain this…I know we all have our challenges and people deal with things in different ways. The choices we make don't make us "better" people, if you get my drift. And I NEVER want to think that I'm better than anyone else. I strive to see us all as good people with kind hearts deep down. OK, so maybe I've got rose-colored glasses on, but hey, I try to see

the good in life and minimize the bad. Sometimes, you just gotta have faith that the bad stuff you can't control will be taken care of.Anyway, I was left with the question: So what sets us apart here in our wonderful support group? And the answer came to me. We're not better or perfect, but we're courageous. Courage sets us apart. Zach told me once that I was the most courageous person he knew because I faced this disease head on and have done everything in my power to make this work. Me courageous? Me?Well, yes. We here are one courageous bunch! And bless her heart, but Beulah's choices are ruled by fear. Each and every one of us here is facing this disease head-on and making life-altering changes. That takes stamina and faith and hope against all odds. We are climbing mountains here that few dare to climb.I recently heard a line in a

movie that fits this perfectly. "Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the ability to face your fear." OK, I'll admit it; the line (a paraphrase) is from Princess Diaries 2. Not such a great movie, but at least I got that one tiny grain of truth from it, so I guess the 9 bucks was worth it.Thank you all for blanketing me with your support. It means the world to me and allows me to continue to have the courage I need to face my challenges. I am so lucky that I don't work with those fearful people everyday. I work in a satellite office where my supervisor and the warehouse guys are great. The guys are entirely un-phased by my weight loss. When they ask about it (very rarely) they totally accept that I workout and watch what I eat. All they want to know is how I am working out; we discuss cardio and muscle toning with weight lifting. They couldn't care

less about what I'm eating or why. It feels great to be just one of the guys.Gemello-140 lbs> I'm a women, too, and have worked in offices about 20 years and I> say, "HEAR, HEAR!" to your post! You are right!> > - Lesa -> > Re: venting> > Hey Gemello,> > Welcome to the wonderful world of office politics! I don't know your> age or work history but I've been in offices for 27 years and there is> no worse place to be when it comes to jealousy. Yes, that's what it>

boils down to. In this instance, you have accomplished something that> these women can only dream about because they don't have the guts to do> something about their weight. You have been such an inspiration to me> as I'm going through this process (still pre-op and waiting) and I can't> imagine anyone who really meant you anything buy harm being jealous of> you taking back your life and health. I will tell you from experience> with previous weight loss that those who are not losing are totally> pissed off at your accomplishment. Like everyone here, I've lost and> gained about a million pounds. My most successful weight loss journey> started in 1987 with Weight Watchers. It took me three years but I lost> 102 lbs. Anyway, I started the journey with my best friend who also> needed to lose at least that much weight. Well after

the first month> I'd lost about 15 lbs and she'd only lost about five. Instead of being> happy about her five, I could tell she was really resentful and started> making really negative comments. I finally went to my group leader and> expressed my concern and she told me that is very common in weight loss> among friends. I was so disappointed that my friend was not happy for> my accomplishment, but I finally had to tell her that I could not be> responsible for her success or failure and would not be made to feel> guilty about my accomplishment. She dropped out of the group eventually> and I went on to lose the weight--till I got married and pregnant and> gained it back!> > Anyway, don't let these women get to you. No offense to anyone on this> list, but my experience is that female co-workers are the cattiest,

back> stabbingest bunch of hens there are!! Being a women, I'll say that I've> found there is far less jealousy and insecurity among male co-workers.> I'll bet you anything, they'd give there fat right arms to be able to> fit into your very much smaller jeans!!> > (Sac)

[Guest guest]

Lesa:

How kind of you to notice!

Gemello

-140 lbs

> Gemello, did you really think you were going to just casually slip

in

> that " -140 lbs " ???? Congratulations you lost two more pounds! An

even

> 140 - that is awesome!

>

> And, you are right, at least I agree, we are courageous and that

does

> set us apart from those who are not yet able to face their fears.

It's

> just unfortunate that those people tend to want to drag us down with

> them instead of respecting our courage. I don't know what it is

about

> gender, but you really hit the nail on the head when you said the

> warehouse guys just want to know how you're working out and they

don't

> care what you're eating or why. That is so male, and it is so

female to

> want to know every other little detail. Oh well, I guess that's

another

> topic.

>

> Kudos to you for putting this into perspective and maintaining your

> healthy, well-adjusted outlook on things!

>

> - Lesa -

>