Re: Re: A successful camping trip!

[Guest guest]

Hi Miranda and others,

Thank you for the detailed explanation. I didn't expect that much!

Anyway, I think it's reasonable why you had to postpone your visit. And

I congratulate you on your scholarship!

As to my wife and her doctor appointment: I spoke with her about it and

she doesn't understand why I want her to see a doctor that fast. We

both agree that adding one more month of waiting doesn't change much,

because we have been waiting several years. But for me it's a sign that

she cares little for my needs. She doesn't agree that her not rushing

to a doctor is such a sign. She says that she does care about my needs

but unfortunately I don't see it that way.

True, she had a visit set up roughly two weeks ago, which the doctor

canceled. But if I were her, I would quickly set up a new visit, while

she announced that we will see the doctor in two weeks, because in one

week she's expecting a period. We have been traveling for a long time,

and so she couldn't see a doctor for roughly a year. So, if I were her,

I would rush to see a doctor, because I would finally have a chance.

What am I missing, ladies?

And on top of that she's trying my patience with her friends. Today she

went out with some male friend, and they have been together for several

hours now. It really gets on my nerves. You see, during the last month

she didn't manage to see a doctor, but she managed to go out four times

with some friends. She chooses the company of some online male friends

over me. And most of the time she prefers to chat with these guys, than

going to bed with me (not for sex, just to fall asleep together).

Presario

> That's okay I'd be happy to clarify my situation. First of all I'm a

> student going into fourth year. I've been unemployed for a month and

> I'm trying to fundraise money to pay my tuition and to fund an

> internship in Vancouver. The reason I have had to cancel the

> doctor's appointment with my GP is because I was offered a job and

> it began on the day I had the appointment. I could not make the

> appointment sooner because I was camping. It is a 9-4 Mon-Fri job,

> which are the hours of my GP. There is no point (in my opinion) to

> see a GP who doesn't know your family history. I could go to

> extended hours practitioners, but it wouldn't make sense because

> almost all extended hours doc's bring me back to square one and tell

> me it's either psychological or that I should do things I've been

> already doing for months now! As a 22 year old girl trying to make

> sense of her life, I would rather not put myself in that position

> again. It fills me with negative energy trying to explain to them

> everything I've gone to in ten minutes of their time, only to have

> them prescribe me Monostat It's really quite ridiculous. I have

> an appointment July 19th at St. Mike's with a specialist that took

> me almost 12 months total from onset of pain to get a referral

> (after two other referrals to other specialists). I will obviously

> be seeing this doctor and making arrangements to get the day off! So

> by no means am I not doing anything about my situation.

>

> However, the comment I made about waiting till the school year was

> because I will be in Vancouver for a six week internship, I won't be

> able to see a doctor in that time who is a specialist without going

> through the whole referral process again. By the time I get an

> appointment in Vancouver I'll probably be back in Toronto finishing

> my degree. That is why I said I might have to wait a while to try

> more treatments. This somewhat transient lifestyle has left me in

> the lurch but it's what makes me most happy. I am always good about

> putting health first BUT I believe that LIFE comes first in a lot of

> ways. This is a chronic illness which for me, has got better already

> but needs time and work. I can only do what I'm doing, rule things

> out, and be a happy person. For me being happy means living life as

> I normally do and not letting the pain take over my life.

>

> Also my boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. We only

> see each other every two months and trust me we find plenty of other

> ways to be affectionate with each other I make sure he doesn't

> miss 'real' sex too much. Also he is moving to Toronto from

> Milwaukee October, at the start of my school year

[Guest guest]

You may have some issues here that aren't related to

vulvodynia.

Also, it sounds like you see this doctoring as a quick

cure so you can have sex. Guess what. This crap does

not go away. We learn to manage it, and yes, you may

be able to have sex again. But stand back and look at

your motivations and hers. The big picture is her day

to day life. The next big picture is your

relationship, of which sex is only a part.

--- Presario wrote:

> Hi Miranda and others,

>

> Thank you for the detailed explanation. I didn't

> expect that much!

> Anyway, I think it's reasonable why you had to

> postpone your visit. And

> I congratulate you on your scholarship!

>

> As to my wife and her doctor appointment: I spoke

> with her about it and

> she doesn't understand why I want her to see a

> doctor that fast. We

> both agree that adding one more month of waiting

> doesn't change much,

> because we have been waiting several years. But for

> me it's a sign that

> she cares little for my needs. She doesn't agree

> that her not rushing

> to a doctor is such a sign. She says that she does

> care about my needs

> but unfortunately I don't see it that way.

>

> True, she had a visit set up roughly two weeks ago,

> which the doctor

> canceled. But if I were her, I would quickly set up

> a new visit, while

> she announced that we will see the doctor in two

> weeks, because in one

> week she's expecting a period. We have been

> traveling for a long time,

> and so she couldn't see a doctor for roughly a year.

> So, if I were her,

> I would rush to see a doctor, because I would

> finally have a chance.

> What am I missing, ladies?

>

> And on top of that she's trying my patience with her

> friends. Today she

> went out with some male friend, and they have been

> together for several

> hours now. It really gets on my nerves. You see,

> during the last month

> she didn't manage to see a doctor, but she managed

> to go out four times

> with some friends. She chooses the company of some

> online male friends

> over me. And most of the time she prefers to chat

> with these guys, than

> going to bed with me (not for sex, just to fall

> asleep together).

>

>

> Presario

>

> > That's okay I'd be happy to clarify my situation.

> First of all I'm a

> > student going into fourth year. I've been

> unemployed for a month and

> > I'm trying to fundraise money to pay my tuition

> and to fund an

> > internship in Vancouver. The reason I have had to

> cancel the

> > doctor's appointment with my GP is because I was

> offered a job and

> > it began on the day I had the appointment. I could

> not make the

> > appointment sooner because I was camping. It is a

> 9-4 Mon-Fri job,

> > which are the hours of my GP. There is no point

> (in my opinion) to

> > see a GP who doesn't know your family history. I

> could go to

> > extended hours practitioners, but it wouldn't make

> sense because

> > almost all extended hours doc's bring me back to

> square one and tell

> > me it's either psychological or that I should do

> things I've been

> > already doing for months now! As a 22 year old

> girl trying to make

> > sense of her life, I would rather not put myself

> in that position

> > again. It fills me with negative energy trying to

> explain to them

> > everything I've gone to in ten minutes of their

> time, only to have

> > them prescribe me Monostat It's really quite

> ridiculous. I have

> > an appointment July 19th at St. Mike's with a

> specialist that took

> > me almost 12 months total from onset of pain to

> get a referral

> > (after two other referrals to other specialists).

> I will obviously

> > be seeing this doctor and making arrangements to

> get the day off! So

> > by no means am I not doing anything about my

> situation.

> >

> > However, the comment I made about waiting till the

> school year was

> > because I will be in Vancouver for a six week

> internship, I won't be

> > able to see a doctor in that time who is a

> specialist without going

> > through the whole referral process again. By the

> time I get an

> > appointment in Vancouver I'll probably be back in

> Toronto finishing

> > my degree. That is why I said I might have to wait

> a while to try

> > more treatments. This somewhat transient lifestyle

> has left me in

> > the lurch but it's what makes me most happy. I am

> always good about

> > putting health first BUT I believe that LIFE comes

> first in a lot of

> > ways. This is a chronic illness which for me, has

> got better already

> > but needs time and work. I can only do what I'm

> doing, rule things

> > out, and be a happy person. For me being happy

> means living life as

> > I normally do and not letting the pain take over

> my life.

> >

> > Also my boyfriend and I are in a long-distance

> relationship. We only

> > see each other every two months and trust me we

> find plenty of other

> > ways to be affectionate with each other I make

> sure he doesn't

> > miss 'real' sex too much. Also he is moving to

> Toronto from

> > Milwaukee October, at the start of my school year

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Presario, I too am happy for her and you, wishing you both much success down the road. Be sure to let us know how things are progressing. It means a lot having a physician you like. Dee~

..

[Guest guest]

> Presario, I too am happy for her and you, wishing you both much success

> down the road. Be sure to let us know how things are progressing. It

> means a lot having a physician you like.

Thanks Dee, but things are not great. Yesterday we slept separate,

because I asked her for it after she spent nine hours (not online) with

her male friend. Today we argued for an hour from 3-4am. Not the best

time, but it's the time for her to chat online and leave me alone in

bed. We have been arguing quite a lot lately.

I'm glad that she likes the doctor, but I don't think it's going to help

much soon. Just like other attempts, this one is likely to fail too -

our track record hints that. I think this problem may be resolved in

the next five years if she is resolved to tackle it. Unfortunately, she

had little motivation to do it over the last five years. Nonetheless,

I'm glad that she is doing something and that there is some hope.

I'm sorry to be that pessimistic, but I had a sleepless night, a fight,

and witnessed how she fights for her online male friends.

Presario

[Guest guest]

HI Presario..... from the little you've written I get the impression there's a lot more than just the sexual issue going on. *sigh* That is something that you two will have to work out and confront and really discuss openly and honestly. I hope you can do that and really communicate what the real truth is, but that's my impression. I'm sorry if it is that and hope it can be worked out.

Hugs

Dee~

..

[Guest guest]

Hi Dee,

> HI Presario..... from the little you've written I get the impression

> there's a lot more than just the sexual issue going on. *sigh* That is

> something that you two will have to work out and confront and really

> discuss openly and honestly. I hope you can do that and really

> communicate what the real truth is, but that's my impression. I'm

> sorry if it is that and hope it can be worked out.

I have got this impression too. I even used to suspect that she cheated

on me. We talk, but she consistently says that there is no affair and

there will not be any. I ask her why she needs contact with these guys

and she says she's just a friendly person.

It's hard for me to imagine that one can be that friendly, but no wonder

after all: I'm not a very social and friendly person. I had two female

friends before and they were just like my wife: very friendly, willing

two talk and spend lots of time, yet very faithful. Since we met I have

had no single proof that she indeed cheated, so I really have no other

choice but to think she is faithful, and that makes me happy.

I think she's just a friendly, sexless person, who feels content and

secure in a marriage. There are such women, and my wife is just one of

them. But it bugs me that her friendliness damages our marriage, that

instead of going to bed together, she stays at night and chats with her

friends.

Presario

[Guest guest]

It seems that if she knew how much it bothered you, she'd stop doing that. Maybe a marriage counselor could convince her that she's causing a lot of anxiety for you by chatting late at night with men?

I have a number of email buddies but most are women and it's almost always work-related or medical. I've never understood the allure of chatting but I guess that can be addictive. I have a hard time convincing my husband sometimes that I really am working on the computer and not just goofing off, though... I book my music performances by email mostly and send out press releases to newspapers, read digests, etc. For awhile I copied him on all of my emails when he'd tease me about all of the time I'd spend goofing off on the computer just so he could see I really was working. : )

Hope you two work things out. I wonder how she'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you were online late at night? I bet she'd be jealous, too.

Re: Re: A successful camping trip!

Hi Dee,> HI Presario..... from the little you've written I get the impression > there's a lot more than just the sexual issue going on. *sigh* That is > something that you two will have to work out and confront and really > discuss openly and honestly. I hope you can do that and really > communicate what the real truth is, but that's my impression. I'm > sorry if it is that and hope it can be worked out.I have got this impression too. I even used to suspect that she cheated on me. We talk, but she consistently says that there is no affair and there will not be any. I ask her why she needs contact with these guys and she says she's just a friendly person.It's hard for me to imagine that one can be that friendly, but no wonder after all: I'm not a very social and friendly person. I had two female friends before and they were just like my wife: very friendly, willing two talk and spend lots of time, yet very faithful. Since we met I have had no single proof that she indeed cheated, so I really have no other choice but to think she is faithful, and that makes me happy.I think she's just a friendly, sexless person, who feels content and secure in a marriage. There are such women, and my wife is just one of them. But it bugs me that her friendliness damages our marriage, that instead of going to bed together, she stays at night and chats with her friends.Presario

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

> It seems that if she knew how much it bothered

> you, she'd stop doing that. Maybe a marriage

> counselor could convince her that she's causing

> a lot of anxiety for you by chatting late at

> night with men?

She knows that, because this is the reason we have been having plenty of

fights over the last year. Moreover, she knows how I feel because we

talk about it and she reads the emails that I post to this group. But

she considers her relationships with other males as real friendships.

They share a hobby and so they talk about it frequently.

I don't mind her chatting with other males as long as it's not damaging

to our marriage. I can accept her chatting during the day. The problem

is that she chats during the day and then at night. I want to go to bed

with her: to talk there, to play and to fall asleep. She doesn't work

now and so she has plenty of time for chatting during the day, and yet

she's still unable to find time to go to bed with me.

> I have a hard time convincing my husband sometimes

> that I really am working on the computer and not

> just goofing off, though...

I wouldn't have a problem with this at all. My wife is goofing off.

> I wonder how she'd feel if the shoe was on the other

> foot and you were online late at night? I bet she'd be

> jealous, too.

She guesses that she wouldn't be jealous, but can't be sure of that.

The problem is, I think, that she doesn't consider going together to bed

to be as important as I do. She's happy to stay up late, she doesn't

feel the need to talk together in bed and play around, while I need

those things desperately.

But she says that she starts to understand me and will try to go to bed

with me more often.

Presario

[Guest guest]

Presario,

You sound like such an understanding husband, and perhaps your wife takes that for granted. I doubt that she is cheating, but I know with chronic pain like we have, sometimes the internet can be an escape from reality that gets out of hand.

I wish you luck, and I hope your wife becomes willing to put some spark back into your marriage.

[Guest guest]

Presario: this online chat room stuff can turn into dangr for her

and for you...I innocentlyh chatted online with a man who said he was married. My fascination was his bible and scripture knowledge. He lived in Texas and behold one day and I thank God that VERN was with me...well one day we were leaving home and he drove up!! Go figure. He found out our address, I did not give it to him, and he just showed up!! VERN and I said our polite hello and that we had to leave...and I have not seen him since nor have I gone to the chat room!! This was eight years ago and we thank GOD moved away to AZ and now are back in TX. So show this to your wife...it is dangerous to go to chat. THIS man always said his wife was busy and could not chat!! makes me wonder if she even existed. LOVE and peace...ML "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul [mind, will and emotions] and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

-----Original Message-----From: VulvarDisorders [mailto:VulvarDisorders ]On Behalf Of BerrySent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 12:38 AMTo: VulvarDisorders Subject: Re: Re: A successful camping trip!

ItFrom: Presario

To: VulvarDisorders

Sent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 1:10 A

t friendly, but no wonder after all: I'm not a very social and friendly person. I had two female friends before and they were just like my wife: very friendly, willing two talk and spend lots of time, yet very faithful. Since we met I have had no single proof that she indeed cheated, so I really have no other choice but to think she is faithful, and that makes me happy.I think she's just a friendly, sexless person, who feels content and secure in a marriage. There are such women, and my wife is just one of them. But it bugs me that her friendliness damages our marriage, that instead of going to bed together, she stays at night and chats with her friends.Presario

[Guest guest]

Presario: this online chat room stuff can turn into dangr for her

and for you...I innocentlyh chatted online with a man who said he was married. My fascination was his bible and scripture knowledge. He lived in Texas and behold one day and I thank God that VERN was with me...well one day we were leaving home and he drove up!! Go figure. He found out our address, I did not give it to him, and he just showed up!! VERN and I said our polite hello and that we had to leave...and I have not seen him since nor have I gone to the chat room!! This was eight years ago and we thank GOD moved away to AZ and now are back in TX. So show this to your wife...it is dangerous to go to chat. THIS man always said his wife was busy and could not chat!! makes me wonder if she even existed. LOVE and peace...ML "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul [mind, will and emotions] and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

-----Original Message-----From: VulvarDisorders [mailto:VulvarDisorders ]On Behalf Of BerrySent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 12:38 AMTo: VulvarDisorders Subject: Re: Re: A successful camping trip!

ItFrom: Presario

To: VulvarDisorders

Sent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 1:10 A

t friendly, but no wonder after all: I'm not a very social and friendly person. I had two female friends before and they were just like my wife: very friendly, willing two talk and spend lots of time, yet very faithful. Since we met I have had no single proof that she indeed cheated, so I really have no other choice but to think she is faithful, and that makes me happy.I think she's just a friendly, sexless person, who feels content and secure in a marriage. There are such women, and my wife is just one of them. But it bugs me that her friendliness damages our marriage, that instead of going to bed together, she stays at night and chats with her friends.Presario

[Guest guest]

Presario: this online chat room stuff can turn into dangr for her

and for you...I innocentlyh chatted online with a man who said he was married. My fascination was his bible and scripture knowledge. He lived in Texas and behold one day and I thank God that VERN was with me...well one day we were leaving home and he drove up!! Go figure. He found out our address, I did not give it to him, and he just showed up!! VERN and I said our polite hello and that we had to leave...and I have not seen him since nor have I gone to the chat room!! This was eight years ago and we thank GOD moved away to AZ and now are back in TX. So show this to your wife...it is dangerous to go to chat. THIS man always said his wife was busy and could not chat!! makes me wonder if she even existed. LOVE and peace...ML "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul [mind, will and emotions] and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

-----Original Message-----From: VulvarDisorders [mailto:VulvarDisorders ]On Behalf Of BerrySent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 12:38 AMTo: VulvarDisorders Subject: Re: Re: A successful camping trip!

ItFrom: Presario

To: VulvarDisorders

Sent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 1:10 A

t friendly, but no wonder after all: I'm not a very social and friendly person. I had two female friends before and they were just like my wife: very friendly, willing two talk and spend lots of time, yet very faithful. Since we met I have had no single proof that she indeed cheated, so I really have no other choice but to think she is faithful, and that makes me happy.I think she's just a friendly, sexless person, who feels content and secure in a marriage. There are such women, and my wife is just one of them. But it bugs me that her friendliness damages our marriage, that instead of going to bed together, she stays at night and chats with her friends.Presario

[Guest guest]

I must say that sitting for long periods of time is NOT comfortable for me.. hugs, ML

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul [mind, will and emotions] and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

[Guest guest]

I must say that sitting for long periods of time is NOT comfortable for me.. hugs, ML

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul [mind, will and emotions] and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

[Guest guest]

I must say that sitting for long periods of time is NOT comfortable for me.. hugs, ML

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul [mind, will and emotions] and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

> You sound like such an understanding husband, and perhaps your wife

> takes that for granted.

Thank you, but now I realize that I'm painting myself as the good guy,

while her as the bad one. Naturally, things in life are not that clear cut.

I'm not that goodie-goodie: I nag and complain about the lack of sex,

but now I do it less frequently than I used to. When she talks with her

online male friends I wage some nasty arguments: I say that I wonder

whether I want to continue living like that, and I start enumerating the

things that I dislike.

There is a lot of good in my wife that I failed to mention here. First

off, she's faithful and honest. She tells me many details of her

friendships that I use to inflame our arguments, whereas concealing them

would be just easier for her. Second, she allows me to travel a lot,

which puts extra stress, but she doesn't complain and is understanding

about my trips. Finally, we relocated and traveled a lot recently

because of my work-study arrangements. Because of my travels she had to

quit her job, and go on compulsory vacation, but she loves her job. All

in all, she is putting a lot into our relationship, but I just plain

forget about that when I get jealous or horny.

> I doubt that she is cheating, but I know with

> chronic pain like we have, sometimes the internet

> can be an escape from reality that gets out of hand.

She wants her online friends to become part of reality: when they like

talking online, they meet face-to-face. She starts such relationships

through a website about their hobby. They present their works there and

comment on them. She doesn't think that her relationships get out of

control, because she knows how to handle them. For instance, she had

one friend who bluntly asked her for sex end eventually she ended the

relationship. Another guy was trying to seduce her and she clearly

explained it to him that she's married. You see, I know these details,

because she tells them to me.

I also don't think she's cheating. She's honest that she's married, and

she doesn't confide with her male friends, so these relationships are

not emotional affairs.

She never had friends before. When she was a kid, she was a great

student and so was ridiculed by other kids. This was true for high

school and college. Now finally she has some friends and doesn't want

to let them go.

Presario

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

> You sound like such an understanding husband, and perhaps your wife

> takes that for granted.

Thank you, but now I realize that I'm painting myself as the good guy,

while her as the bad one. Naturally, things in life are not that clear cut.

I'm not that goodie-goodie: I nag and complain about the lack of sex,

but now I do it less frequently than I used to. When she talks with her

online male friends I wage some nasty arguments: I say that I wonder

whether I want to continue living like that, and I start enumerating the

things that I dislike.

There is a lot of good in my wife that I failed to mention here. First

off, she's faithful and honest. She tells me many details of her

friendships that I use to inflame our arguments, whereas concealing them

would be just easier for her. Second, she allows me to travel a lot,

which puts extra stress, but she doesn't complain and is understanding

about my trips. Finally, we relocated and traveled a lot recently

because of my work-study arrangements. Because of my travels she had to

quit her job, and go on compulsory vacation, but she loves her job. All

in all, she is putting a lot into our relationship, but I just plain

forget about that when I get jealous or horny.

> I doubt that she is cheating, but I know with

> chronic pain like we have, sometimes the internet

> can be an escape from reality that gets out of hand.

She wants her online friends to become part of reality: when they like

talking online, they meet face-to-face. She starts such relationships

through a website about their hobby. They present their works there and

comment on them. She doesn't think that her relationships get out of

control, because she knows how to handle them. For instance, she had

one friend who bluntly asked her for sex end eventually she ended the

relationship. Another guy was trying to seduce her and she clearly

explained it to him that she's married. You see, I know these details,

because she tells them to me.

I also don't think she's cheating. She's honest that she's married, and

she doesn't confide with her male friends, so these relationships are

not emotional affairs.

She never had friends before. When she was a kid, she was a great

student and so was ridiculed by other kids. This was true for high

school and college. Now finally she has some friends and doesn't want

to let them go.

Presario

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

> You sound like such an understanding husband, and perhaps your wife

> takes that for granted.

Thank you, but now I realize that I'm painting myself as the good guy,

while her as the bad one. Naturally, things in life are not that clear cut.

I'm not that goodie-goodie: I nag and complain about the lack of sex,

but now I do it less frequently than I used to. When she talks with her

online male friends I wage some nasty arguments: I say that I wonder

whether I want to continue living like that, and I start enumerating the

things that I dislike.

There is a lot of good in my wife that I failed to mention here. First

off, she's faithful and honest. She tells me many details of her

friendships that I use to inflame our arguments, whereas concealing them

would be just easier for her. Second, she allows me to travel a lot,

which puts extra stress, but she doesn't complain and is understanding

about my trips. Finally, we relocated and traveled a lot recently

because of my work-study arrangements. Because of my travels she had to

quit her job, and go on compulsory vacation, but she loves her job. All

in all, she is putting a lot into our relationship, but I just plain

forget about that when I get jealous or horny.

> I doubt that she is cheating, but I know with

> chronic pain like we have, sometimes the internet

> can be an escape from reality that gets out of hand.

She wants her online friends to become part of reality: when they like

talking online, they meet face-to-face. She starts such relationships

through a website about their hobby. They present their works there and

comment on them. She doesn't think that her relationships get out of

control, because she knows how to handle them. For instance, she had

one friend who bluntly asked her for sex end eventually she ended the

relationship. Another guy was trying to seduce her and she clearly

explained it to him that she's married. You see, I know these details,

because she tells them to me.

I also don't think she's cheating. She's honest that she's married, and

she doesn't confide with her male friends, so these relationships are

not emotional affairs.

She never had friends before. When she was a kid, she was a great

student and so was ridiculed by other kids. This was true for high

school and college. Now finally she has some friends and doesn't want

to let them go.

Presario

[Guest guest]

Hi Presario,

You know, I understand this because it has always been important to me that my husband and I sleep in the same bed at night but he insists that, with his loud snoring, I would just nudge him repeatedly or ask him to roll over and he hates this so much because it interrupts his sleep. He gets very angry if I nudge him and ask him to roll over please if he's snoring loudly. He usually would make a comment like, "You're mean... you woke me up" and then would storm out of the room, slam the door, and sleep on the couch or demand that I sleep on the couch. After spending two weeks on the couch once, I finally moved into the other bedroom for about a year, he lost some weight and stopped snoring for awhile and so I moved back into the master bedroom. Then, he put on a little weight and started the snoring again but this time he moved into the other bedroom and has been sleeping there for several years now. Still, it has always bothered me that we don't sleep together in the same room and he has never understood why this is important to me. So, I do understand why that's important to you that your wife want to go to bed with you at the same time.

I never will forget the vacation when he told me to go sleep in the bathtub and I actually tried and then spent the night sleeping in the car.... this happened three days in a row and I finally asked for my own hotel room because I'd gotten 3 hours of sleep 3 days in a row. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But, he keeps insisting that he shouldn't have to turn over or adjust his sleeping habits if he snores loudly so..... : ) .... my grandmother used to sleep in the chair downstairs because her husband snored so loudly it sounded like a train was going right past the house. : )

I understand your need for sexual intimacy seems to be greater than hers, perhaps. I think my need for sexual and emotional intimacy is much greater than my husband's too.

It is embarressing, though, when we stay with relatives and friends and insists on having his own room.

(who also loves to stay up late sometimes)

>She guesses that she wouldn't be jealous, but can't be sure of that. >The problem is, I think, that she doesn't consider going together to bed >to be as important as I do. She's happy to stay up late, she doesn't >feel the need to talk together in bed and play around, while I need >those things desperately.

[Guest guest]

Hi Presario,

You know, I understand this because it has always been important to me that my husband and I sleep in the same bed at night but he insists that, with his loud snoring, I would just nudge him repeatedly or ask him to roll over and he hates this so much because it interrupts his sleep. He gets very angry if I nudge him and ask him to roll over please if he's snoring loudly. He usually would make a comment like, "You're mean... you woke me up" and then would storm out of the room, slam the door, and sleep on the couch or demand that I sleep on the couch. After spending two weeks on the couch once, I finally moved into the other bedroom for about a year, he lost some weight and stopped snoring for awhile and so I moved back into the master bedroom. Then, he put on a little weight and started the snoring again but this time he moved into the other bedroom and has been sleeping there for several years now. Still, it has always bothered me that we don't sleep together in the same room and he has never understood why this is important to me. So, I do understand why that's important to you that your wife want to go to bed with you at the same time.

I never will forget the vacation when he told me to go sleep in the bathtub and I actually tried and then spent the night sleeping in the car.... this happened three days in a row and I finally asked for my own hotel room because I'd gotten 3 hours of sleep 3 days in a row. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But, he keeps insisting that he shouldn't have to turn over or adjust his sleeping habits if he snores loudly so..... : ) .... my grandmother used to sleep in the chair downstairs because her husband snored so loudly it sounded like a train was going right past the house. : )

I understand your need for sexual intimacy seems to be greater than hers, perhaps. I think my need for sexual and emotional intimacy is much greater than my husband's too.

It is embarressing, though, when we stay with relatives and friends and insists on having his own room.

(who also loves to stay up late sometimes)

>She guesses that she wouldn't be jealous, but can't be sure of that. >The problem is, I think, that she doesn't consider going together to bed >to be as important as I do. She's happy to stay up late, she doesn't >feel the need to talk together in bed and play around, while I need >those things desperately.

[Guest guest]

Hi Presario,

You know, I understand this because it has always been important to me that my husband and I sleep in the same bed at night but he insists that, with his loud snoring, I would just nudge him repeatedly or ask him to roll over and he hates this so much because it interrupts his sleep. He gets very angry if I nudge him and ask him to roll over please if he's snoring loudly. He usually would make a comment like, "You're mean... you woke me up" and then would storm out of the room, slam the door, and sleep on the couch or demand that I sleep on the couch. After spending two weeks on the couch once, I finally moved into the other bedroom for about a year, he lost some weight and stopped snoring for awhile and so I moved back into the master bedroom. Then, he put on a little weight and started the snoring again but this time he moved into the other bedroom and has been sleeping there for several years now. Still, it has always bothered me that we don't sleep together in the same room and he has never understood why this is important to me. So, I do understand why that's important to you that your wife want to go to bed with you at the same time.

I never will forget the vacation when he told me to go sleep in the bathtub and I actually tried and then spent the night sleeping in the car.... this happened three days in a row and I finally asked for my own hotel room because I'd gotten 3 hours of sleep 3 days in a row. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But, he keeps insisting that he shouldn't have to turn over or adjust his sleeping habits if he snores loudly so..... : ) .... my grandmother used to sleep in the chair downstairs because her husband snored so loudly it sounded like a train was going right past the house. : )

I understand your need for sexual intimacy seems to be greater than hers, perhaps. I think my need for sexual and emotional intimacy is much greater than my husband's too.

It is embarressing, though, when we stay with relatives and friends and insists on having his own room.

(who also loves to stay up late sometimes)

>She guesses that she wouldn't be jealous, but can't be sure of that. >The problem is, I think, that she doesn't consider going together to bed >to be as important as I do. She's happy to stay up late, she doesn't >feel the need to talk together in bed and play around, while I need >those things desperately.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for sharing your story on sleeping separately. Really, your

sleeping in the bathtub made my wife and me laugh - it was cute and

hilarious!

I hope my wife and I will not start sleeping separately. I want to

share the bed with her, because it makes me feel close to her.

My reasoning for asking her to sleep in another bed for one night was

that I wanted to make her try fall asleep alone. I always go to bed

first, and later my wife just joins me. I'm always there waiting awake

or asleep for her. So I though that she should recall how bad it feels

to be alone in bed. I know, it was cruel, but after months of talking I

resorted to this.

Another problem I would have with sleeping separately is the same as you

have: when visiting friends and family, how do you go about this? I

would feel awkward asking our parents for two beds.

Presario

> Hi Presario,

> You know, I understand this because it has always been important to

> me that my husband and I sleep in the same bed at night but he

> insists that, with his loud snoring, I would just nudge him

> repeatedly or ask him to roll over and he hates this so much because

> it interrupts his sleep. He gets very angry if I nudge him and ask

> him to roll over please if he's snoring loudly. He usually would

> make a comment like, " You're mean... you woke me up " and then would

> storm out of the room, slam the door, and sleep on the couch or

> demand that I sleep on the couch. After spending two weeks on the

> couch once, I finally moved into the other bedroom for about a year,

> he lost some weight and stopped snoring for awhile and so I moved

> back into the master bedroom. Then, he put on a little weight and

> started the snoring again but this time he moved into the other

> bedroom and has been sleeping there for several years now. Still, it

> has always bothered me that we don't sleep together in the same room

> and he has never understood why this is important to me. So, I do

> understand why that's important to you that your wife want to go to

> bed with you at the same time.

> I never will forget the vacation when he told me to go sleep in the

> bathtub and I actually tried and then spent the night sleeping in

> the car.... this happened three days in a row and I finally asked

> for my own hotel room because I'd gotten 3 hours of sleep 3 days in

> a row. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But, he keeps insisting that he

> shouldn't have to turn over or adjust his sleeping habits if he

> snores loudly so..... : ) .... my grandmother used to sleep in the

> chair downstairs because her husband snored so loudly it sounded

> like a train was going right past the house. : )

> I understand your need for sexual intimacy seems to be greater than

> hers, perhaps. I think my need for sexual and emotional intimacy is

> much greater than my husband's too.

> It is embarressing, though, when we stay with relatives and friends

> and insists on having his own room.

>

> (who also loves to stay up late sometimes)

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for sharing your story on sleeping separately. Really, your

sleeping in the bathtub made my wife and me laugh - it was cute and

hilarious!

I hope my wife and I will not start sleeping separately. I want to

share the bed with her, because it makes me feel close to her.

My reasoning for asking her to sleep in another bed for one night was

that I wanted to make her try fall asleep alone. I always go to bed

first, and later my wife just joins me. I'm always there waiting awake

or asleep for her. So I though that she should recall how bad it feels

to be alone in bed. I know, it was cruel, but after months of talking I

resorted to this.

Another problem I would have with sleeping separately is the same as you

have: when visiting friends and family, how do you go about this? I

would feel awkward asking our parents for two beds.

Presario

> Hi Presario,

> You know, I understand this because it has always been important to

> me that my husband and I sleep in the same bed at night but he

> insists that, with his loud snoring, I would just nudge him

> repeatedly or ask him to roll over and he hates this so much because

> it interrupts his sleep. He gets very angry if I nudge him and ask

> him to roll over please if he's snoring loudly. He usually would

> make a comment like, " You're mean... you woke me up " and then would

> storm out of the room, slam the door, and sleep on the couch or

> demand that I sleep on the couch. After spending two weeks on the

> couch once, I finally moved into the other bedroom for about a year,

> he lost some weight and stopped snoring for awhile and so I moved

> back into the master bedroom. Then, he put on a little weight and

> started the snoring again but this time he moved into the other

> bedroom and has been sleeping there for several years now. Still, it

> has always bothered me that we don't sleep together in the same room

> and he has never understood why this is important to me. So, I do

> understand why that's important to you that your wife want to go to

> bed with you at the same time.

> I never will forget the vacation when he told me to go sleep in the

> bathtub and I actually tried and then spent the night sleeping in

> the car.... this happened three days in a row and I finally asked

> for my own hotel room because I'd gotten 3 hours of sleep 3 days in

> a row. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But, he keeps insisting that he

> shouldn't have to turn over or adjust his sleeping habits if he

> snores loudly so..... : ) .... my grandmother used to sleep in the

> chair downstairs because her husband snored so loudly it sounded

> like a train was going right past the house. : )

> I understand your need for sexual intimacy seems to be greater than

> hers, perhaps. I think my need for sexual and emotional intimacy is

> much greater than my husband's too.

> It is embarressing, though, when we stay with relatives and friends

> and insists on having his own room.

>

> (who also loves to stay up late sometimes)

[Guest guest]

ML,

> Presario: this online chat room stuff can turn into dangr for her

> and for you...I innocentlyh chatted online with a man who said he was

> married. My fascination was his bible and scripture knowledge. He

> lived in Texas and behold one day and I thank God that VERN was with

> me...well one day we were leaving home and he drove up!! Go figure.

OK, I'm glad I was not you! I think that such risks are not specific to

chat rooms or instant messaging. You can meet someone at, let's say, a

company picnic, who will think of a relationship too much and will

molest you with trying to meet, talk, have lunch, etc. I'm glad that my

wife takes the precaution of not letting them know where we live.

Finding where we live is not easy, and so I hope I won't see some guy at

my doorstep smiling and asking for my wife.

Presario

[Guest guest]

Presario: I too did not give ANY address info and I NEVER fill out the profiles either. As you can see by my mladamsgte it really does not say any idea of what the last name might be. My grown child is very knowledgeable and says you can find out anyTHING about anyONE.....it can be done. So I live knowing we can never be TOO careful nor are we SAFE!

"Faith are things HOPED for" put your HOPE in things not of this world! Good Luck and GodBless hugs, ML

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul [mind, will and emotions] and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24