Re: anti-depressants

[Guest guest]

Hi Caroline,

I was reading about the problems you've had with anti-depressants. I had to

try several before there was one that worked for me and that didn't cause bad

side effects. My psychiatric treatment is also a big part of my med and doctor

program. I take Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Clonazepam, Geodon and Trazodone. Quite a

bunch it seems to me, but they seem to work and I'm afraid to change anything

now.

I really need to change my psychiatrist. I find it really hard to leave. I

have been seeing him on and off since 1991. Back then he helped me through some

really bad times. I am surprised I was ever able to pull myself through with

the help of meds and my doctor. During this time my daughter was in highschool

and it was in 1992 that she attempted suicide twice. Once she had to be revived

by EMTs. There had to be some divine intervention happening because my

daughter was home, she was a senior, and slit her wrists, took some pills she

had from seeing the psychiatrist and got into a warm bath. The phone rang and

for some reason she picked it up and it was the psychiatrist. She hung up on

him after answering. He called 911 and then he called me at work and her

father. I called home and the police and EMTs were there and had revived her.

Then they left and we met the EMT's at the hospital and waited to see how she

was after they pumped her stomach. When we next

saw her she was in bed in a room, strapped to the bed, struggling to get out

and yelling that she just wanted to die. It was the most horrible thing to ever

happen in my life. This same psychiatrist was quite instrumental in keeping me

from doing the same thing a year earlier. He knows my background, all about my

dissociation, and all I've been through with my parents and my abusive

ex-husband.

It's not easy to start over with a new doctor, but it's time. He has changed

and doesn't return phone calls or help much at appointments. He seems to have

become one of those to whom money is the most important thing. I don't have any

idea what has happened in his life, but he isn't the same caring,

non-judgemental therapist he was before. He isn't helping me anymore. You said

something about them having to listen. Did you mean the therapist or the

insurance co.

You said you went to group therapy. Did you find this through your therapist?

I don't think there are any fibro groups around here. I looked into it one

time, but I can try again. It might get me out of my house too. I tend to stay

isolated most of the time.

I write a lot too. I don't write as much as you do. But I do find that it is

cathartic. Sometimes I get upset though if I'm writing about some unpleasant

incident that occurred, particularly if it is in my family. I also find writing

to the people on t his site to be helpful. Both in getting things out and in

taking my mind off of my problems.

Take care,

Marti

Caroline Witte wrote:

Hi, I have had problems with a multitude of antidepressants as well.

I'm now taking Celexa with no problems, except I think I need a higher dose now.

There usually is something out there that will work, it's just a matter of trial

and error. I do know that for myself it is a very important part of my medical

treatment. It helps with things other than depression. As for your therapist,

there really HAS to be a way to get a new one. Contact your health care provider

and tell them you cannot continue with this one. Explain that you have been

seeing her for more than a year, she hasn't helped and you desperately need

someone who will. They do have to listen, or you can take them before the

insurance board.

When you get home, not only look for new healthcare providers, but also for a

group. If you can't find a fibro support group nearby, then I went to group

therapy, actually several of them, and made new friends there as well.

Writing it all out is a great thing to do. It's also called 'free association',

and it really can be helpful. I wish your family was more supportive. Have you

asked them to read the information on online sites about this condition? It

might help if they were willing. I'm sure they love you and do care about you.

It's only that some families have strange ways of showing it. You really do need

someone to talk to. I hope you can find someone soon. Have you ever thought

about showing your husband some of the things you have written? Just a thought,

but maybe that would help him better understand what you are going through.

Please take care of yourself.

Peace and Love

Caroline

> Hi, I've been on Effexor...I ended up in the hospital after only 4 doses

> of it. I've been on Welbutrin...but not Cymbalta. I haven't tried St.

> 's Wort, because I wasn't allowed to with my other meds. I tried to

> change my therapist for at least a year...I'd call, they said I'd have to

> tell her myself, so I'd make one more appointment, and tell her that

> she's not helping, she'd say we can do something different, and the

> circle went on and on for a year, so I just finally stopped going. Since

> I was never able to " fire " her, she's still my therapist, and if I try to

> make an appointment with another one, they tell me I have to see her. I

> spent a year of weeks learning how to deep breathe. That's all she ever

> did.

> I write. I get a spiral notebook and a good flowing pen, and I write. I

> can write 30 pages at a time...in a short time. I seldom read what I

> have written, I just let it go from my brain to my hand to my pen to the

> paper. The pen has to be fast flowing, or else it skips and doesn't keep

> up with my thoughts. I don't have a person to talk to.

> nancie

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