Re: Rigid personality and RSS? Long email.

[Guest guest]

I just could tell you that my son, also didn't cry like others babies

and didn't wake up crying for milk, I had to give him milk while he was

sleep.

He has a lot of traits that I thing are big boys thinks, not for a baby.

For example I wanted to continue gave him juice in bottle but he began

to use the glass by him self with no advice!!! He wants to do many

things by him self that not all the children of 2 years want to do.

I don't know how to explain it but my husband says that looks like

a little adult.

Betty

Rigid personality and RSS? Long email.

Hi All,

I exploring a theory, and wanted to see if anyone else's RSS kids had

similar

traits.

Our son has what Dr. H. has classified as " mild " RSS...All that

means is

that he was born full term, has managed to jump from below the 5th % to

the 25th%

weight and height (with GHT and periactin), and doesn't show two of the

classic

RSS signs: thin, curved upper lip and assymetry.

I do not necessarily disagree with Dr. H's diagnosis, but I have often

wondered

if there is a larger, more emotional/psychological component affecting

's

growth. exhibited traits at birth and during his first 2 years,

that we

just attributed to his " quirky " personality, but now that he is 4.5, and

now that

we are noticing socialization issues at school, I often wonder if the

RSS

diagnosis is too quick to rule out emotional causes of poor growth, or

if maybe

the emotional issues I'm about to list here in this email, are

exaggerated in RSS

kids.

I know that in any population of RSS kids, you will find smart kids,

not-so-smart kids, gifted kids, average kids, outgoing kids, shy kids,

aggressive

kids, passive kids, athletic, not so athletic, artistic, not so

artistic. In

other words, other than the height/weight issues, we find all types of

personalities and talents among our kids, just as in any population of

kids.

But, given Dr. H's little teaser that she is noticing PDD -like

tendancies in RSS

kids, and given a recent article on Aspberger's syndrome that I read in

the

September PARENTS magazine, I wonder if one reason SOME RSS kids don't

grow is

that they just don't understand the social and biological cues for

eating.

Our son :

--> Did not cry for 6 months, not once!

--> Never woke up crying for milk

--> Never fussed

--> Was very focused on a few toys..would stare intently at things

--> Didn't seem to notice pain or be scared of doctors (even shots

produced a

quick " whimper " )

And, in the later years:

--> Walks away from groups of kids (and before walking, would crawl away

from

kids during playgroups)

--> Can walk 500 feet without ever looking back to see if either Dad/Mom

is

watching

--> Has many imagianary friends/fantasy situations

--> Gets very upset with changes in routine

--> Does fine when one other child is in the house, but in groups (such

as

parties), will retreat and hide..

Could it be that 's brain is wired in such a way that he has a very

high

threshold for any kind of stressor ? (e.g. In most people, their brains

tell them

to be hungry, to seek out comfort, to cry out in pain, to want to be

with other

people, etc...)? So, in the earlier years, the thing we have most cared

about is

the lack of appetite and growth, but could it be that the same issues

that caused

him to not be interested in eating, are now showing up in other, more

social

situations.

Do any of your kids sound like ? I know that all the books I read

say that

PDD/Aspergers, etc. cannot be diagnosed until 6 or 7 and that sometimes

a shy,

introverted, antisocial 4 year old, is just that! Nothing more. Many

kids grow

out of it. Normally, I would agree to be patient, but I can't help

wonder if

's personality exacerbates the RSS, or is it a separate issue.

By the way, as a side note for all of you whose kids had many ear

infections!!!

Our school psychologist made a very intersting point, I think. She said

that

kids who have had many, many ear infections as infants, probably spent

most of

their first two years missing out on normal social cues (sound of

mother's voice,

reacting to laughter, nurturing voices, etc.) In other words, their

little ears

were always so clogged, that they missed out on audible cues to help

them learn

how to socialize. Therefore, some of these kids learn to entertain

themselves.

Later on, when they get to school, it is hard to get them to socialize

because

they are so used to playing by themselves. Interesting Theory!!!

Thanks, and sorry for the long email...

Katy

[Guest guest]

Hi Katy,

also did many of the things you listed.

First, he almost never cried for food. ly, with a low appetite,

I'm not surprised. He did cry for food just once and that

completely surprised us.

Until recently he never cried when he got a shot. Now he rarley

cries when he falls and doesn't want us to even ask how he is.

would also, play by himself whenever he was in a group. One

on one was OK for a while but more than that and he would play in a

corner, alone.

We discussed this with his doctors, therapists and teachers. We got

nearly the same response from all. They did not think it was RSS

related although RSS may aggrevate the situation. All thought that,

all of their energy is going to growing on few calories so they

tend to limit their sensory inputs. Too many kids, or too much

stimilation and they seek solitude and isolation to control the

stimulation.

Now this is just what we have been told and for it seems to fit.

He is opening up now at 4.5 and he is attmpting to socialize. However,

he needs some help. Running up to other kids in his class and growling

is not what we had in mind for socializing.

There may be some sensory integration issues going on and it might be

an idea to have evaluated. We are going to do that for to

get an impartial, objective baseline of exactly where he is with his

speech, gross and fine motor skills, socialization, and sensory

integration. We have been relying on what his school was telling us

and we finally figured out they were only telling us things that they

could provide therapy for and not all the things may need.

I think some of what you mentioned is just being 4. For example the

imaginary friends. is starting to have some now. We were told

this is very typical for his age. Others maybe some indicator of other

issues.

I hope this helps in some way.

Ken M

> Hi All,

>

> I exploring a theory, and wanted to see if anyone else's RSS kids

had similar

> traits.

>

> Our son has what Dr. H. has classified as " mild " RSS...All that

means is

> that he was born full term, has managed to jump from below the 5th %

to the 25th%

> weight and height (with GHT and periactin), and doesn't show two of

the classic

> RSS signs: thin, curved upper lip and assymetry.

>

> I do not necessarily disagree with Dr. H's diagnosis, but I have

often wondered

> if there is a larger, more emotional/psychological component

affecting 's

> growth. exhibited traits at birth and during his first 2

years, that we

> just attributed to his " quirky " personality, but now that he is 4.5,

and now that

> we are noticing socialization issues at school, I often wonder if

the RSS

> diagnosis is too quick to rule out emotional causes of poor growth,

or if maybe

> the emotional issues I'm about to list here in this email, are

exaggerated in RSS

> kids.

>

> I know that in any population of RSS kids, you will find smart

kids,

> not-so-smart kids, gifted kids, average kids, outgoing kids, shy

kids, aggressive

> kids, passive kids, athletic, not so athletic, artistic, not so

artistic. In

> other words, other than the height/weight issues, we find all types

of

> personalities and talents among our kids, just as in any population

of kids.

>

> But, given Dr. H's little teaser that she is noticing PDD -like

tendancies in RSS

> kids, and given a recent article on Aspberger's syndrome that I read

in the

> September PARENTS magazine, I wonder if one reason SOME RSS kids

don't grow is

> that they just don't understand the social and biological cues for

eating.

>

> Our son :

>

> --> Did not cry for 6 months, not once!

> --> Never woke up crying for milk

> --> Never fussed

> --> Was very focused on a few toys..would stare intently at things

> --> Didn't seem to notice pain or be scared of doctors (even shots

produced a

> quick " whimper " )

>

> And, in the later years:

> --> Walks away from groups of kids (and before walking, would crawl

away from

> kids during playgroups)

> --> Can walk 500 feet without ever looking back to see if either

Dad/Mom is

> watching

> --> Has many imagianary friends/fantasy situations

> --> Gets very upset with changes in routine

> --> Does fine when one other child is in the house, but in groups

(such as

> parties), will retreat and hide..

>

> Could it be that 's brain is wired in such a way that he has a

very high

> threshold for any kind of stressor ? (e.g. In most people, their

brains tell them

> to be hungry, to seek out comfort, to cry out in pain, to want to be

with other

> people, etc...)? So, in the earlier years, the thing we have most

cared about is

> the lack of appetite and growth, but could it be that the same

issues that caused

> him to not be interested in eating, are now showing up in other,

more social

> situations.

>

> Do any of your kids sound like ? I know that all the books I

read say that

> PDD/Aspergers, etc. cannot be diagnosed until 6 or 7 and that

sometimes a shy,

> introverted, antisocial 4 year old, is just that! Nothing more.

Many kids grow

> out of it. Normally, I would agree to be patient, but I can't help

wonder if

> 's personality exacerbates the RSS, or is it a separate issue.

>

> By the way, as a side note for all of you whose kids had many ear

infections!!!

> Our school psychologist made a very intersting point, I think. She

said that

> kids who have had many, many ear infections as infants, probably

spent most of

> their first two years missing out on normal social cues (sound of

mother's voice,

> reacting to laughter, nurturing voices, etc.) In other words, their

little ears

> were always so clogged, that they missed out on audible cues to help

them learn

> how to socialize. Therefore, some of these kids learn to entertain

themselves.

> Later on, when they get to school, it is hard to get them to

socialize because

> they are so used to playing by themselves. Interesting Theory!!!

>

> Thanks, and sorry for the long email...

> Katy

[Guest guest]

Hi Ken,

Thanks! Your email is very helpful..Good point about energy going to

growth...I'll have to think about that one. I'm going to share your email

with my husband.

Thanks,Ken!

Katy

kkm@... wrote:

> Hi Katy,

>

> also did many of the things you listed.

>

> First, he almost never cried for food. ly, with a low appetite,

> I'm not surprised. He did cry for food just once and that

> completely surprised us.

>

> Until recently he never cried when he got a shot. Now he rarley

> cries when he falls and doesn't want us to even ask how he is.

>

> would also, play by himself whenever he was in a group. One

> on one was OK for a while but more than that and he would play in a

> corner, alone.

>

> We discussed this with his doctors, therapists and teachers. We got

> nearly the same response from all. They did not think it was RSS

> related although RSS may aggrevate the situation. All thought that,

> all of their energy is going to growing on few calories so they

> tend to limit their sensory inputs. Too many kids, or too much

> stimilation and they seek solitude and isolation to control the

> stimulation.

>

> Now this is just what we have been told and for it seems to fit.

> He is opening up now at 4.5 and he is attmpting to socialize. However,

> he needs some help. Running up to other kids in his class and growling

> is not what we had in mind for socializing.

>

> There may be some sensory integration issues going on and it might be

> an idea to have evaluated. We are going to do that for to

> get an impartial, objective baseline of exactly where he is with his

> speech, gross and fine motor skills, socialization, and sensory

> integration. We have been relying on what his school was telling us

> and we finally figured out they were only telling us things that they

> could provide therapy for and not all the things may need.

>

> I think some of what you mentioned is just being 4. For example the

> imaginary friends. is starting to have some now. We were told

> this is very typical for his age. Others maybe some indicator of other

> issues.

>

> I hope this helps in some way.

>

> Ken M

>

>

>

> > Hi All,

> >

> > I exploring a theory, and wanted to see if anyone else's RSS kids

> had similar

> > traits.

> >

> > Our son has what Dr. H. has classified as " mild " RSS...All that

> means is

> > that he was born full term, has managed to jump from below the 5th %

> to the 25th%

> > weight and height (with GHT and periactin), and doesn't show two of

> the classic

> > RSS signs: thin, curved upper lip and assymetry.

> >

> > I do not necessarily disagree with Dr. H's diagnosis, but I have

> often wondered

> > if there is a larger, more emotional/psychological component

> affecting 's

> > growth. exhibited traits at birth and during his first 2

> years, that we

> > just attributed to his " quirky " personality, but now that he is 4.5,

> and now that

> > we are noticing socialization issues at school, I often wonder if

> the RSS

> > diagnosis is too quick to rule out emotional causes of poor growth,

> or if maybe

> > the emotional issues I'm about to list here in this email, are

> exaggerated in RSS

> > kids.

> >

> > I know that in any population of RSS kids, you will find smart

> kids,

> > not-so-smart kids, gifted kids, average kids, outgoing kids, shy

> kids, aggressive

> > kids, passive kids, athletic, not so athletic, artistic, not so

> artistic. In

> > other words, other than the height/weight issues, we find all types

> of

> > personalities and talents among our kids, just as in any population

> of kids.

> >

> > But, given Dr. H's little teaser that she is noticing PDD -like

> tendancies in RSS

> > kids, and given a recent article on Aspberger's syndrome that I read

> in the

> > September PARENTS magazine, I wonder if one reason SOME RSS kids

> don't grow is

> > that they just don't understand the social and biological cues for

> eating.

> >

> > Our son :

> >

> > --> Did not cry for 6 months, not once!

> > --> Never woke up crying for milk

> > --> Never fussed

> > --> Was very focused on a few toys..would stare intently at things

> > --> Didn't seem to notice pain or be scared of doctors (even shots

> produced a

> > quick " whimper " )

> >

> > And, in the later years:

> > --> Walks away from groups of kids (and before walking, would crawl

> away from

> > kids during playgroups)

> > --> Can walk 500 feet without ever looking back to see if either

> Dad/Mom is

> > watching

> > --> Has many imagianary friends/fantasy situations

> > --> Gets very upset with changes in routine

> > --> Does fine when one other child is in the house, but in groups

> (such as

> > parties), will retreat and hide..

> >

> > Could it be that 's brain is wired in such a way that he has a

> very high

> > threshold for any kind of stressor ? (e.g. In most people, their

> brains tell them

> > to be hungry, to seek out comfort, to cry out in pain, to want to be

> with other

> > people, etc...)? So, in the earlier years, the thing we have most

> cared about is

> > the lack of appetite and growth, but could it be that the same

> issues that caused

> > him to not be interested in eating, are now showing up in other,

> more social

> > situations.

> >

> > Do any of your kids sound like ? I know that all the books I

> read say that

> > PDD/Aspergers, etc. cannot be diagnosed until 6 or 7 and that

> sometimes a shy,

> > introverted, antisocial 4 year old, is just that! Nothing more.

> Many kids grow

> > out of it. Normally, I would agree to be patient, but I can't help

> wonder if

> > 's personality exacerbates the RSS, or is it a separate issue.

> >

> > By the way, as a side note for all of you whose kids had many ear

> infections!!!

> > Our school psychologist made a very intersting point, I think. She

> said that

> > kids who have had many, many ear infections as infants, probably

> spent most of

> > their first two years missing out on normal social cues (sound of

> mother's voice,

> > reacting to laughter, nurturing voices, etc.) In other words, their

> little ears

> > were always so clogged, that they missed out on audible cues to help

> them learn

> > how to socialize. Therefore, some of these kids learn to entertain

> themselves.

> > Later on, when they get to school, it is hard to get them to

> socialize because

> > they are so used to playing by themselves. Interesting Theory!!!

> >

> > Thanks, and sorry for the long email...

> > Katy

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Katy,

Reading your email about your son's tendencies was very interesting to me

because I exhibited (and still continue to in some cases) some of the same

tendencies. I have always had an extremely high tolerance for pain (I too

did not mind doctors or shots at a young age), and my family and the doctors

simply attributed this to the fact that I spent the first several weeks of

my life in neo natal, so being poked and prodded was normal. I still have a

tendency to be very focused (often overly so) on projects and other tasks.

I simply can't move on until something is completed; even at a young age, I

exhibited (still exhibit) an intensity that is not found in most adults. My

parents had to force interaction at a younger age, and, even though I have a

nice group of closely knit friends, I still prefer to spend much of my time

in no one's company but my own. Doctors, therapists, etc. had always just

labeled these tendencies as " personality traits " and no one had thought

about it again...until I read your email. I called my mom this morning and

read her your post; she too was intrigued by the idea that these traits may

not soley be attributable to personality. Thanks for raising the question.

Best Wishes,

Hillary

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

[Guest guest]

Now that I think about it, Dominic rarely cries when

hurt, falls down, etc. He cries some when he gets

blood drawn but I have always thought that was more

due to being held down. He seems very tough....

F.

--- kkm@... wrote:

> Hi Katy,

>

> also did many of the things you listed.

>

> First, he almost never cried for food. ly, with

> a low appetite,

> I'm not surprised. He did cry for food just once and

> that

> completely surprised us.

>

> Until recently he never cried when he got a shot.

> Now he rarley

> cries when he falls and doesn't want us to even ask

> how he is.

>

> would also, play by himself whenever he was in

> a group. One

> on one was OK for a while but more than that and he

> would play in a

> corner, alone.

>

> We discussed this with his doctors, therapists and

> teachers. We got

> nearly the same response from all. They did not

> think it was RSS

> related although RSS may aggrevate the situation.

> All thought that,

> all of their energy is going to growing on few

> calories so they

> tend to limit their sensory inputs. Too many kids,

> or too much

> stimilation and they seek solitude and isolation to

> control the

> stimulation.

>

>

> Now this is just what we have been told and for

> it seems to fit.

> He is opening up now at 4.5 and he is attmpting to

> socialize. However,

> he needs some help. Running up to other kids in his

> class and growling

> is not what we had in mind for socializing.

>

> There may be some sensory integration issues going

> on and it might be

> an idea to have evaluated. We are going to do

> that for to

> get an impartial, objective baseline of exactly

> where he is with his

> speech, gross and fine motor skills, socialization,

> and sensory

> integration. We have been relying on what his school

> was telling us

> and we finally figured out they were only telling us

> things that they

> could provide therapy for and not all the things

> may need.

>

> I think some of what you mentioned is just being 4.

> For example the

> imaginary friends. is starting to have some

> now. We were told

> this is very typical for his age. Others maybe some

> indicator of other

> issues.

>

> I hope this helps in some way.

>

> Ken M

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > Hi All,

> >

> > I exploring a theory, and wanted to see if anyone

> else's RSS kids

> had similar

> > traits.

> >

> > Our son has what Dr. H. has classified as

> " mild " RSS...All that

> means is

> > that he was born full term, has managed to jump

> from below the 5th %

> to the 25th%

> > weight and height (with GHT and periactin), and

> doesn't show two of

> the classic

> > RSS signs: thin, curved upper lip and assymetry.

> >

> > I do not necessarily disagree with Dr. H's

> diagnosis, but I have

> often wondered

> > if there is a larger, more emotional/psychological

> component

> affecting 's

> > growth. exhibited traits at birth and

> during his first 2

> years, that we

> > just attributed to his " quirky " personality, but

> now that he is 4.5,

> and now that

> > we are noticing socialization issues at school, I

> often wonder if

> the RSS

> > diagnosis is too quick to rule out emotional

> causes of poor growth,

> or if maybe

> > the emotional issues I'm about to list here in

> this email, are

> exaggerated in RSS

> > kids.

> >

> > I know that in any population of RSS kids, you

> will find smart

> kids,

> > not-so-smart kids, gifted kids, average kids,

> outgoing kids, shy

> kids, aggressive

> > kids, passive kids, athletic, not so athletic,

> artistic, not so

> artistic. In

> > other words, other than the height/weight issues,

> we find all types

> of

> > personalities and talents among our kids, just as

> in any population

> of kids.

> >

> > But, given Dr. H's little teaser that she is

> noticing PDD -like

> tendancies in RSS

> > kids, and given a recent article on Aspberger's

> syndrome that I read

> in the

> > September PARENTS magazine, I wonder if one reason

> SOME RSS kids

> don't grow is

> > that they just don't understand the social and

> biological cues for

> eating.

> >

> > Our son :

> >

> > --> Did not cry for 6 months, not once!

> > --> Never woke up crying for milk

> > --> Never fussed

> > --> Was very focused on a few toys..would stare

> intently at things

> > --> Didn't seem to notice pain or be scared of

> doctors (even shots

> produced a

> > quick " whimper " )

> >

> > And, in the later years:

> > --> Walks away from groups of kids (and before

> walking, would crawl

> away from

> > kids during playgroups)

> > --> Can walk 500 feet without ever looking back to

> see if either

> Dad/Mom is

> > watching

> > --> Has many imagianary friends/fantasy situations

> > --> Gets very upset with changes in routine

> > --> Does fine when one other child is in the

> house, but in groups

> (such as

> > parties), will retreat and hide..

> >

> > Could it be that 's brain is wired in such a

> way that he has a

> very high

> > threshold for any kind of stressor ? (e.g. In most

> people, their

> brains tell them

> > to be hungry, to seek out comfort, to cry out in

> pain, to want to be

> with other

> > people, etc...)? So, in the earlier years, the

> thing we have most

> cared about is

> > the lack of appetite and growth, but could it be

> that the same

> issues that caused

> > him to not be interested in eating, are now

> showing up in other,

> more social

> > situations.

> >

> > Do any of your kids sound like ? I know that

> all the books I

> read say that

> > PDD/Aspergers, etc. cannot be diagnosed until 6 or

> 7 and that

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I all. I am so glad someone finally brought up behaviors. just

turned 6 and he also never cried from hunger, NEVER. He had very poor eye

contact as a baby, it is just getting better now. He didn't like to be

held. He would actually calm down if we put him down. I could never rock

him and sing to him or stroke his back. Way too much stimulus. He was 14

months old the first time I rocked him to sleep and he was in a position

facing away from me. Even when he was asleep, and we picked him up to move

him, he would immediately push us away with his arms. Even while sleeping.

I remind him now not to push away from me. Part of it maybe his tube can be

sore at times. I have had him evaluated by numerous doctors, teams, etc.

The latest suggested PDD and possibly bipolar. Oh brother! His behavior

now can be on the screamy side. He plays fairly well with the other kids,

but I can relate to the growling thing. He definitely is not very fearful,

except of thunder and lightening. He walks out of stores and away from me.

No fears there! I have locks on all my outside doors about 2 inches from

the top to keep him locked in the house! Very independent. He never asked

me to pick him up until he was about 4 1/2. He almost never snuggles with

me on his own doing. I ask him to do it and he will stay for a little

while. He is definitely most attached to me, but I am always in his face.

He would push away and I would just get in his face and kiss him anyway. If

anyone wants to write me privately, I would love to know what you have found

that works to calm crazy behavior. Oh they also diagnosed ADHD and put him

on Depakote to treat it. It is a seizure medicine and it helps to stabilize

moods in children. We were afraid to go the Ritalin route because of the

effect on his appetite. It is so hard to know what to do. Thanks for

listening.

Judy (mom to 6)

smithclan@...

Re: Rigid personality and RSS? Long email.

> Hi Katy,

>

> also did many of the things you listed.

>

> First, he almost never cried for food. ly, with a low appetite,

> I'm not surprised. He did cry for food just once and that

> completely surprised us.

>

> Until recently he never cried when he got a shot. Now he rarley

> cries when he falls and doesn't want us to even ask how he is.

>

> would also, play by himself whenever he was in a group. One

> on one was OK for a while but more than that and he would play in a

> corner, alone.

>

> We discussed this with his doctors, therapists and teachers. We got

> nearly the same response from all. They did not think it was RSS

> related although RSS may aggrevate the situation. All thought that,

> all of their energy is going to growing on few calories so they

> tend to limit their sensory inputs. Too many kids, or too much

> stimilation and they seek solitude and isolation to control the

> stimulation.

>

>

> Now this is just what we have been told and for it seems to fit.

> He is opening up now at 4.5 and he is attmpting to socialize. However,

> he needs some help. Running up to other kids in his class and growling

> is not what we had in mind for socializing.

>

> There may be some sensory integration issues going on and it might be

> an idea to have evaluated. We are going to do that for to

> get an impartial, objective baseline of exactly where he is with his

> speech, gross and fine motor skills, socialization, and sensory

> integration. We have been relying on what his school was telling us

> and we finally figured out they were only telling us things that they

> could provide therapy for and not all the things may need.

>

> I think some of what you mentioned is just being 4. For example the

> imaginary friends. is starting to have some now. We were told

> this is very typical for his age. Others maybe some indicator of other

> issues.

>

> I hope this helps in some way.

>

> Ken M

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > Hi All,

> >

> > I exploring a theory, and wanted to see if anyone else's RSS kids

> had similar

> > traits.

> >

> > Our son has what Dr. H. has classified as " mild " RSS...All that

> means is

> > that he was born full term, has managed to jump from below the 5th %

> to the 25th%

> > weight and height (with GHT and periactin), and doesn't show two of

> the classic

> > RSS signs: thin, curved upper lip and assymetry.

> >

> > I do not necessarily disagree with Dr. H's diagnosis, but I have

> often wondered

> > if there is a larger, more emotional/psychological component

> affecting 's

> > growth. exhibited traits at birth and during his first 2

> years, that we

> > just attributed to his " quirky " personality, but now that he is 4.5,

> and now that

> > we are noticing socialization issues at school, I often wonder if

> the RSS

> > diagnosis is too quick to rule out emotional causes of poor growth,

> or if maybe

> > the emotional issues I'm about to list here in this email, are

> exaggerated in RSS

> > kids.

> >

> > I know that in any population of RSS kids, you will find smart

> kids,

> > not-so-smart kids, gifted kids, average kids, outgoing kids, shy

> kids, aggressive

> > kids, passive kids, athletic, not so athletic, artistic, not so

> artistic. In

> > other words, other than the height/weight issues, we find all types

> of

> > personalities and talents among our kids, just as in any population

> of kids.

> >

> > But, given Dr. H's little teaser that she is noticing PDD -like

> tendancies in RSS

> > kids, and given a recent article on Aspberger's syndrome that I read

> in the

> > September PARENTS magazine, I wonder if one reason SOME RSS kids

> don't grow is

> > that they just don't understand the social and biological cues for

> eating.

> >

> > Our son :

> >

> > --> Did not cry for 6 months, not once!

> > --> Never woke up crying for milk

> > --> Never fussed

> > --> Was very focused on a few toys..would stare intently at things

> > --> Didn't seem to notice pain or be scared of doctors (even shots

> produced a

> > quick " whimper " )

> >

> > And, in the later years:

> > --> Walks away from groups of kids (and before walking, would crawl

> away from

> > kids during playgroups)

> > --> Can walk 500 feet without ever looking back to see if either

> Dad/Mom is

> > watching

> > --> Has many imagianary friends/fantasy situations

> > --> Gets very upset with changes in routine

> > --> Does fine when one other child is in the house, but in groups

> (such as

> > parties), will retreat and hide..

> >

> > Could it be that 's brain is wired in such a way that he has a

> very high

> > threshold for any kind of stressor ? (e.g. In most people, their

> brains tell them

> > to be hungry, to seek out comfort, to cry out in pain, to want to be

> with other

> > people, etc...)? So, in the earlier years, the thing we have most

> cared about is

> > the lack of appetite and growth, but could it be that the same

> issues that caused

> > him to not be interested in eating, are now showing up in other,

> more social

> > situations.

> >

> > Do any of your kids sound like ? I know that all the books I

> read say that

> > PDD/Aspergers, etc. cannot be diagnosed until 6 or 7 and that

> sometimes a shy,

> > introverted, antisocial 4 year old, is just that! Nothing more.

> Many kids grow

> > out of it. Normally, I would agree to be patient, but I can't help

> wonder if

> > 's personality exacerbates the RSS, or is it a separate issue.

> >

> > By the way, as a side note for all of you whose kids had many ear

> infections!!!

> > Our school psychologist made a very intersting point, I think. She

> said that

> > kids who have had many, many ear infections as infants, probably

> spent most of

> > their first two years missing out on normal social cues (sound of

> mother's voice,

> > reacting to laughter, nurturing voices, etc.) In other words, their

> little ears

> > were always so clogged, that they missed out on audible cues to help

> them learn

> > how to socialize. Therefore, some of these kids learn to entertain

> themselves.

> > Later on, when they get to school, it is hard to get them to

> socialize because

> > they are so used to playing by themselves. Interesting Theory!!!

> >

> > Thanks, and sorry for the long email...

> > Katy

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have to say, Hillary, I could have written your email about

myself! I have the high pain tolerance (no NICU experience, but

plenty of " poking and prodding " early on in my life), am generally

more focused than many my age, and have always been an introvert.

But my dad definitely has those personality traits too (except for

the needle thing -- he doesn't like those!), so I never considered an

RSS connection.

-Ana

RSS adult

> Katy,

> Reading your email about your son's tendencies was very interesting

to me

> because I exhibited (and still continue to in some cases) some of

the same

> tendencies. I have always had an extremely high tolerance for pain

(I too

> did not mind doctors or shots at a young age), and my family and

the doctors

> simply attributed this to the fact that I spent the first several

weeks of

> my life in neo natal, so being poked and prodded was normal. I

still have a

> tendency to be very focused (often overly so) on projects and other

tasks.

> I simply can't move on until something is completed; even at a

young age, I

> exhibited (still exhibit) an intensity that is not found in most

adults. My

> parents had to force interaction at a younger age, and, even though

I have a

> nice group of closely knit friends, I still prefer to spend much of

my time

> in no one's company but my own. Doctors, therapists, etc. had

always just

> labeled these tendencies as " personality traits " and no one had

thought

> about it again...until I read your email. I called my mom this

morning and

> read her your post; she too was intrigued by the idea that these

traits may

> not soley be attributable to personality. Thanks for raising the

question.

> Best Wishes,

> Hillary

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

[Guest guest]

If you separate out the eating from the other behavioral issues, I would say

that you just described both my husband and I, both non-RSS!!!

If you take a look at some of the Meyer-Briggs personality groupings, and also

at an extreme Introvert personality, you will find that many kids have these

" rigid " personalities.

BOTH my children are this way, and are getting better as time has gone on. I

never thought would ever be social or have friends. But she is

blossoming in kindergarden - she still doesn't yet have a sense of the

cliquiness that other girls have, and seems to be in her own world that way, but

then her brother is the same way!!!

I do believe that children with chronic illnesses (any type that requires

frequent doctors, blood tests, hospitalizations) do share certain personality

traits.

RSS-Support wrote:

>

Hi Ken,

>

Thanks! Your email is very helpful..Good point about energy going to

>

growth...I'll have to think about that one.  I'm going to share your email

>

with my husband.

>

>

Thanks,Ken!

>

Katy

>

>

kkm@... wrote:

>

>

> Hi Katy,

>

>

>

> also did many of the things you listed.

>

>

>

> First, he almost never cried for food. ly, with a low appetite,

>

> I'm not surprised. He did cry for food just once and that

>

> completely surprised us.

>

>

>

> Until recently he never cried when he got a shot. Now he rarley

>

> cries when he falls and doesn't want us to even ask how he is.

>

>

>

> would also, play by himself whenever he was in a group. One

>

> on one was OK for a while but more than that and he would play in a

>

> corner, alone.

>

>

>

> We discussed this with his doctors, therapists and teachers. We got

>

> nearly the same response from all. They did not think it was RSS

>

> related although RSS may aggrevate the situation. All thought that,

>

> all of their energy is going to growing on few calories so they

>

> tend to limit their sensory inputs. Too many kids, or too much

>

> stimilation and they seek solitude and isolation to control the

>

> stimulation.

>

>

>

> Now this is just what we have been told and for it seems to fit.

>

> He is opening up now at 4.5 and he is attmpting to socialize. However,

>

> he needs some help. Running up to other kids in his class and growling

>

> is not what we had in mind for socializing.

>

>

>

> There may be some sensory integration issues going on and it might be

>

> an idea to have evaluated. We are going to do that for to

>

> get an impartial, objective baseline of exactly where he is with his

>

> speech, gross and fine motor skills, socialization, and sensory

>

> integration. We have been relying on what his school was telling us

>

> and we finally figured out they were only telling us things that they

>

> could provide therapy for and not all the things may need.

>

>

>

> I think some of what you mentioned is just being 4. For example the

>

> imaginary friends. is starting to have some now. We were told

>

> this is very typical for his age. Others maybe some indicator of other

>

> issues.

>

>

>

> I hope this helps in some way.

>

>

>

> Ken M

>

>

>

>

>

> 

>

> > Hi All,

>

> >

>

> > I exploring a theory, and wanted to see if anyone else's RSS kids

>

> had similar

>

> > traits.

>

> >

>

> > Our son has what Dr. H. has classified as " mild " RSS...All that

>

> means is

>

> > that he was born full term, has managed to jump from below the 5th %

>

> to the 25th%

>

> > weight and height (with GHT and periactin), and doesn't show two of

>

> the classic

>

> > RSS signs:  thin, curved upper lip and assymetry.

>

> >

>

> > I do not necessarily disagree with Dr. H's diagnosis, but I have

>

> often wondered

>

> > if there is a larger, more emotional/psychological component

>

> affecting 's

>

> > growth.   exhibited traits at birth and during his first 2

>

> years, that we

>

> > just attributed to his " quirky " personality, but now that he is 4.5,

>

> and now that

>

> > we are noticing socialization issues at school, I often wonder if

>

> the RSS

>

> > diagnosis is too quick to rule out emotional causes of poor growth,

>

> or if maybe

>

> > the emotional issues I'm about to list here in this email, are

>

> exaggerated in RSS

>

> > kids.

>

> >

>

> > I know that in any population of RSS kids,  you will find smart

>

> kids,

>

> > not-so-smart kids, gifted kids, average kids, outgoing kids, shy

>

> kids, aggressive

>

> > kids, passive kids, athletic, not so athletic, artistic, not so

>

> artistic.  In

>

> > other words, other than the height/weight issues, we find all types

>

> of

>

> > personalities and talents among our kids, just as in any population

>

> of kids.

>

> >

>

> > But, given Dr. H's little teaser that she is noticing PDD -like

>

> tendancies in RSS

>

> > kids, and given a recent article on Aspberger's syndrome that I read

>

> in the

>

> > September PARENTS magazine, I wonder if one reason SOME RSS kids

>

> don't grow is

>

> > that they just don't understand the social and biological cues for

>

> eating.

>

> >

>

> > Our son :

>

> >

>

> > --> Did not cry for 6 months, not once!

>

> > --> Never woke up crying for milk

>

> > --> Never fussed

>

> > --> Was very focused on a few toys..would stare intently at things

>

> > --> Didn't seem to notice pain or be scared of doctors (even shots

>

> produced a

>

> > quick " whimper " )

>

> >

>

> > And, in the later years:

>

> > --> Walks away from groups of kids (and before walking, would crawl

>

> away from

>

> > kids during playgroups)

>

> > --> Can walk 500 feet without ever looking back to see if either

>

> Dad/Mom is

>

> > watching

>

> > --> Has many imagianary friends/fantasy situations

>

> > --> Gets very upset with changes in routine

>

> > --> Does fine when one other child is in the house, but in groups

>

> (such as

>

> > parties), will retreat and hide..

>

> >

>

> > Could it be that 's brain is wired in such a way that he has a

>

> very high

>

> > threshold for any kind of stressor ? (e.g. In most people, their

>

> brains tell them

>

> > to be hungry, to seek out comfort, to cry out in pain, to want to be

>

> with other

>

> > people, etc...)?  So, in the earlier years, the thing we have most

>

> cared about is

>

> > the lack of appetite and growth, but could it be that the same

>

> issues that caused

>

> > him to not be interested in eating, are now showing up in other,

>

> more social

>

> > situations.

>

> >

>

> > Do any of your kids sound like ?  I know that all the books I

>

> read say that

>

> > PDD/Aspergers, etc. cannot be diagnosed until 6 or 7 and that

>

> sometimes a shy,

>

> > introverted, antisocial 4 year old, is just that! Nothing more.

>

> Many kids grow

>

> > out of it.  Normally, I would agree to be patient, but I can't help

>

> wonder if

>

> > 's personality exacerbates the RSS, or is it a separate issue.

>

> >

>

> > By the way, as a side note for all of you whose kids had many ear

>

> infections!!!

>

> > Our school psychologist made a very intersting point, I think.  She

>

> said that

>

> > kids who have had many, many ear infections as infants, probably

>

> spent most of

>

> > their first two years missing out on normal social cues (sound of

>

> mother's voice,

>

> > reacting to laughter, nurturing voices, etc.) In other words, their

>

> little ears

>

> > were always so clogged, that they missed out on audible cues to help

>

> them learn

>

> > how to socialize.  Therefore, some of these kids learn to entertain

>

> themselves.

>

> > Later on, when they get to school, it is hard to get them to

>

> socialize because

>

> > they are so used to playing by themselves. Interesting Theory!!!

>

> >

>

> > Thanks, and sorry for the long email...

>

> > Katy

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My son Colin is similar in some ways. He never cried for food, ever.

But rather cried after eating due to the reflux issues. He has never

been a cuddly baby, but I always thought that was because he is a

boy. He has always been very focused on people since the beginning.

He would gaze intently at people where his twin sister would be

looking around the room checking things out. Everyone said that he

was very intelligent and taking it all in... He does however cry with

pain and can be very fussy in general. He is pulling to stand and

falls a lot. When he falls it takes a while to calm him down. His

twin on the other hand just gets up and goes. Colin is very

interactive with people and especially his sister. He will follow her

around and try to play peek a boo. So I think growing up with her

from the start will help his socialization skills.

We thought Colin was analytical when assessing a new thing, but it

turns out it may be related to a sensory issue. It was brought up at

our feeding clinic appt. yesterday since he is defensive to grass. It

does take him a while to warm up to new situations and experiences.

So we will see what the future holds with him. It is so hard to know

what is personality and what is related to the whole RSS thing.

Mom to Colin (RSS) and Hayden - 9 mo. twins

[Guest guest]

Hi Katy,

My daughter, belle, also has an extremely high tolerance to

pain. A year ago she broke her arm and was hopping and

dancing around the emergency room with the unset arm in a

sling. She rarely cries at shots, doesn't cry for long when hurt,

and would rather get consolation from the dog or a favorite toy

after an initial hug from me. I was wondering if this was common

among RSS individuals.

Since infancy, I have suspected she has been extremely

sensitive to stimulation. We always had to nurse in a quiet place

to keep her focused. She did cry for 4 months with colic, but I

would rely on the clock for feedings, not her howls. At 5 months, I

was amazed to see her lying on her back absorbed in fondling

piece of hair in the sunlight, what an attention span, I thought.

When carrying her as a baby, she had to face out to the world.

She didn't want to cuddle and snuggle, too confining. She

wanted to be seeing and doing and moving. Now, she'll rock and

let me hold and snuggle her for some bedtime songs, and goes

for hugs, but isn't a snuggler at all, unless it is her blankie. After

colic passed she didn't want to sleep in our bed. She made it

clear she wanted her own space.

She hated textures on her feet, sand, grass, scratchy wool for the

longest. This summer, at 3, she has become a nature girl,

however, and has feet of leather.

Now, she is a burst of energy. All doors are locked. She is

fearless and will dart away from us given any chance. She never

needs to check to see if we are following. She is very

independent and self-directed in play, but her attention is pretty

limited unless it is some involved fantasy.

belle is, however, very gregarious, social and extroverted.

She has always really enjoyed plaing with other children, not to

be intimidated by size or gender. Her favorite friends are boys

and a 7 year old.

Pamela

[Guest guest]

Katy- while Nate has not been officially diagnosed with RSS by Dr. H. he has

been by a geneticist and been called a mild case. He also does not experience

pain the same as the other two children. He barely made a peep when they

started his IV for his stim test. He also doesn't socialize much but is ok at

parties. He has always been focused on a few toys although they have changed

thru the years. He doesn't like change or to have certain sensations-ie a wet

bib put on or be out in the rain. He only had 1 ear infection in his life and

that was borderline. He plays with the toy phone a lot but doesn't have any

imaginary friends-yet. It will be interesting to hear others responses.

Liz-Mom of Nate(?RSS)and Sam-3 year old twins and Arianna-17 months

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

doesn't seem to have any of the good qualities

as your kids (i.e. not crying, waking up in the middle

of the night asking for a bottle, etc.. although I

wish!LOL) he does have an imaginary friend he calls

" monstro " which it's english translation for " boogie

man " for which he seems to blame all of the bad things

he does. He does believe " monstro " is part of our

family, because he asks for him like he asks for his

dad when he's not around. so... go figure...

ali

P.S. HECTOR GAINED .25 GRMS OR 1 LBS. in 1 1/2

months!! YEEEAAAAAHHHH and LAST YEARS WINTER CLOTHES

DON'T FIT!!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHH!!!! :):)

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Just to through a wrench in the pot.......Hillary's email and this one

describe myself and my daughter to a tee. And neither one of us are RSS. My

son is, and that isn't him (except for the extreme independence....I too had

little locks at the top of all doors as I couldn't go to the bathroom

without wondering if he'd run off down the street on me.....very

independent).

Debby

Re: Rigid personality and RSS? Long email.

> I have to say, Hillary, I could have written your email about

> myself! I have the high pain tolerance (no NICU experience, but

> plenty of " poking and prodding " early on in my life), am generally

> more focused than many my age, and have always been an introvert.

> But my dad definitely has those personality traits too (except for

> the needle thing -- he doesn't like those!), so I never considered an

> RSS connection.

>

> -Ana

> RSS adult

>

>

> > Katy,

> > Reading your email about your son's tendencies was very interesting

> to me

> > because I exhibited (and still continue to in some cases) some of

> the same

> > tendencies. I have always had an extremely high tolerance for pain

> (I too

> > did not mind doctors or shots at a young age), and my family and

> the doctors

> > simply attributed this to the fact that I spent the first several

> weeks of

> > my life in neo natal, so being poked and prodded was normal. I

> still have a

> > tendency to be very focused (often overly so) on projects and other

> tasks.

> > I simply can't move on until something is completed; even at a

> young age, I

> > exhibited (still exhibit) an intensity that is not found in most

> adults. My

> > parents had to force interaction at a younger age, and, even though

> I have a

> > nice group of closely knit friends, I still prefer to spend much of

> my time

> > in no one's company but my own. Doctors, therapists, etc. had

> always just

> > labeled these tendencies as " personality traits " and no one had

> thought

> > about it again...until I read your email. I called my mom this

> morning and

> > read her your post; she too was intrigued by the idea that these

> traits may

> > not soley be attributable to personality. Thanks for raising the

> question.

> > Best Wishes,

> > Hillary

> >

> > _________________________________________________________________

> > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

> http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

>

>

>

>

>

>