Re: I'm new and scared

[Guest guest]

Hi Melinda alot of us got to see someone to talk everything out

either a shring for a better word along with group classes(tuesdays

at 1230 at SSF Kaiser) or where ever you can go. it is not you we

all go through it at one time or another. and you can trust me on

this. I have entered the sabotauge stage I want to get out and it is

hard. find someone you can talk to. you can write me if you want to.

I'll try to help.

Elaina

1/16/03-130

> Hi, my name is Melinda and I had my surgery on 3/24/04. I've lost

> 48lbs since then but I am having problems. I'm missing food so

> much. I have found that my whole world revolved around food. I

> thought that I had dealt with all of my food issues before the

> surgery but I'm finding out that I haven't. I go to the gym but

I'm

> still fighting that. I do three days a week up to an hour a day

of

> cardio and I'm now starting weights. I plan to start going to the

> gym 4 days week starting tomorrow.

>

> I'm scared because sometimes I feel as if I'm at war with myself

the

> fat me fighting with the new thinner me coming out. Sometimes I

> think the fat me will win.

>

> I'm writing this hoping for support because I feel so alone at

times.

>

> Melinda

[Guest guest]

Melinda:

We've all had the feelings you're having. What might be helpful is

reviewing the reason why you had the surgery in the first place.

In a support group, the leader told us to develop some passtimes

before sugery because post-op, our old passtime of eating, eating and

eating is not a good strategy.

It might be helpful to join some type of social group that has

NOTHING to do with weight loss or food. That was a suggestion of the

group leader. Whatever you do don't let yourself become isolated.

If you find yourself in real need of help, be sure to reach out to

your case manager or a mental health care professional through

Kaiser. They can help you through this.

Remember, you're not alone in this and there is help! And your

feelings are actually quite normal. Let's us know how you're doing.

Gemello

-138 lbs

> Hi, my name is Melinda and I had my surgery on 3/24/04. I've lost

> 48lbs since then but I am having problems. I'm missing food so

> much. I have found that my whole world revolved around food. I

> thought that I had dealt with all of my food issues before the

> surgery but I'm finding out that I haven't. I go to the gym but

I'm

> still fighting that. I do three days a week up to an hour a day of

> cardio and I'm now starting weights. I plan to start going to the

> gym 4 days week starting tomorrow.

>

> I'm scared because sometimes I feel as if I'm at war with myself

the

> fat me fighting with the new thinner me coming out. Sometimes I

> think the fat me will win.

>

> I'm writing this hoping for support because I feel so alone at

times.

>

> Melinda

[Guest guest]

HI Melinda,

Welcome to our group. No, you are not alone in this issue. There are

many of us that have gone through that problem or are going through

that problem. Mostly it is because food has always been there as our

best friend through everything. I was going through that also for a

while and I called Kaiser Mental health and got hooked up with a

therapist that was very helpful. Sometimes there are issues that need

to still be resolved. My advice would be if you feel that it gets to

be to overwhelming you should seek help.

We all do go through a mourning period where we look back and want

some of those things that we can't have any more. It is go that you

are focusing more on thing that are beneficial like upping you gym

time. It will get easier as it goes on. And please feel free to write

here what is going on with you. We are here for you.

Ramona

1/13/2003

357/218/175

> Hi, my name is Melinda and I had my surgery on 3/24/04. I've lost

> 48lbs since then but I am having problems. I'm missing food so

> much. I have found that my whole world revolved around food. I

> thought that I had dealt with all of my food issues before the

> surgery but I'm finding out that I haven't. I go to the gym but

I'm

> still fighting that. I do three days a week up to an hour a day of

> cardio and I'm now starting weights. I plan to start going to the

> gym 4 days week starting tomorrow.

>

> I'm scared because sometimes I feel as if I'm at war with myself

the

> fat me fighting with the new thinner me coming out. Sometimes I

> think the fat me will win.

>

> I'm writing this hoping for support because I feel so alone at

times.

>

> Melinda

[Guest guest]

Thanks. I went to the gym today and upped my time and feel pretty

good about this. I know that it will pass I just needed to hear

others say that they have felt the same thing.

Melinda

- In gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-

patients , " Ramona " <Sweetgemlady656@s...> wrote:

>

>

> HI Melinda,

> Welcome to our group. No, you are not alone in this issue. There

are

> many of us that have gone through that problem or are going

through

> that problem. Mostly it is because food has always been there as

our

> best friend through everything. I was going through that also for

a

> while and I called Kaiser Mental health and got hooked up with a

> therapist that was very helpful. Sometimes there are issues that

need

> to still be resolved. My advice would be if you feel that it gets

to

> be to overwhelming you should seek help.

> We all do go through a mourning period where we look back and want

> some of those things that we can't have any more. It is go that

you

> are focusing more on thing that are beneficial like upping you gym

> time. It will get easier as it goes on. And please feel free to

write

> here what is going on with you. We are here for you.

> Ramona

> 1/13/2003

> 357/218/175

>

> > Hi, my name is Melinda and I had my surgery on 3/24/04. I've

lost

> > 48lbs since then but I am having problems. I'm missing food so

> > much. I have found that my whole world revolved around food. I

> > thought that I had dealt with all of my food issues before the

> > surgery but I'm finding out that I haven't. I go to the gym but

> I'm

> > still fighting that. I do three days a week up to an hour a day

of

> > cardio and I'm now starting weights. I plan to start going to

the

> > gym 4 days week starting tomorrow.

> >

> > I'm scared because sometimes I feel as if I'm at war with myself

> the

> > fat me fighting with the new thinner me coming out. Sometimes I

> > think the fat me will win.

> >

> > I'm writing this hoping for support because I feel so alone at

> times.

> >

> > Melinda

[Guest guest]

Hi Melinda,

Forgive me for taking so long to reply. My life is getting really busy

as the Renaissance Faire gets closer.

Anyway . . .

it's amazing how much of our lives has been about food. In the first

few weeks after surgery, it seemed like all I could think about was

food, even though at that stage of the game I could barely eat and

really didn't want to. I am convinced that no matter how well we think

that we have dealt with food issues and all that before surgery, we

cannot be fully prepared for the reality, especially since so much is

going on in our bodies at once. We are healing from the major trauma of

surgery, dealing with the after-effects of the general anesthesia,

living in a malnourished condition for the first few weeks, struggling

just to stay hydrated, coping with the estrogen being released into our

systems, and generally having to cope with life without the comforting

cushion of food. Phew!!!!! So, if you feel like you are struggling

with yourself - well, that seems perfectly natural to me.

About being scared and afraid that the fat you will win . . . I feel

like that at times. As I am sure others must have said by now, support

groups can make a major difference. They certainly can help with that

sense of being alone in this process. I know that my husband and

friends are there for me, but nothing helps like being able to talk to

and hear from other folks who are also on this journey. This list has

been an incalculable source of support and information for me. And, as

much as I love this list, my in-person groups are especially good at

helping me know that I am not alone because being face-to-face with

folks is such an undeniable reality.

I've dealt with clinical depression for many years and am now having to

learn to cope with life and all its ups and downs with turning to food

to cushion things. So, for me, I have found seeing a therapist is very

helpful. Not everyone feels this need - but, for some of us, it may be

a necessity.

Melinda, please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.

Take care,

Kay

in San Leandro

open RNY 12/1/03

Melinda wrote:

> Hi, my name is Melinda and I had my surgery on 3/24/04. I've lost

> 48lbs since then but I am having problems. I'm missing food so

> much. I have found that my whole world revolved around food. I

> thought that I had dealt with all of my food issues before the

> surgery but I'm finding out that I haven't. I go to the gym but I'm

> still fighting that. I do three days a week up to an hour a day of

> cardio and I'm now starting weights. I plan to start going to the

> gym 4 days week starting tomorrow.

>

> I'm scared because sometimes I feel as if I'm at war with myself the

> fat me fighting with the new thinner me coming out. Sometimes I

> think the fat me will win.

>

> I'm writing this hoping for support because I feel so alone at times.

>

> Melinda