Re: you would think I'd learn

[Guest guest]

Hi Gemello,

I am so proud of you and hope that you are proud of yourself. Learning

to cope with trying situations without resorting to comfort foods and

standing up for oneself - these are huge accomplishments. You are such

a strong person.

All the best,

Kay

open RNY 12/1/03

Gemello DiGiovanni wrote:

> Hello everybody:

>

> As many of you here are aware, I work in an office where people have

> screwed up boundries.

>

> Case in point, I shared my story (when prompted) to a morbidly obese

> woman in my office. She is the office " National Enquirer, " but has

> less credibility. I told her that my confidentiality is of utmost

> importance to me, but that I'd share info with her if she wanted me

> to help her, because she needed help, and she has Kaiser.

>

> Well, turns out, she (as I expected) has no control what-so-ever and

> has started drama about this behind my back. Before my growth in

> this process, this situation would have really p*ssed me off. And

> then I would have gone on a carb, fat and sugar binge. (Real good

> coping skill, huh?)

>

> Anyway, I'm glad to say that I have chosen to shut her out. Here is

> the email I sent her:

>

> :

>

> Due to my own concerns regarding my well-being, I hope you understand

> that I will no longer share any part of my issue with you. Like I

> said, " that conversation never took place. " Please don't approach me

> regarding that subject ever again.

>

> Before I would have brooded and stewed about this. Now I can simply

> shut the door (so to speak) on her face. Let her talk. No

> information is coming from me again. The " iron curtain " has come

> slamming down, and I won't let it up again in that office. I've

> learned that my gut instinct NOT to trust her was right.

>

> But there I go again trying to help someone who won't help herself.

> Well, at least I've learned to cope better with it, and I actually

> feel good about the way I handled it because I remained in control.

> I control the flow of true information re: my health issues. And I

> am in control of my eating too.

>

> Thank goodness I have all of you here who understand what this kind

> of crap means to us. Thanks for reading and understanding me.

> Venting here is also a great coping mechanism.

>

> Gemello

> 4 days until reconstruction

> -133 lbs

[Guest guest]

Hi Gemello:

My heart goes out to you, I know how difficult this must be for you.

I too am having a hard time with boundaries. In my case however, its

because I share EVERYTHING and then am left feeling exposed and

vunerable. Im reading that book you recommended to me regarding

Boundaries: Where you end and I begin. I work with alot of women who

even if you say please dont share this...in a few hours the whole

center knows.

It shows how important for us to respect the confidentiality of what

goes on in here so that at least here we know we are respected and

can help each other. Too bad the " real " world cant be so

compassionate.

Huggles

Open RNY: 08/19/03

315/283/ currently 173!!

Goal: 135

[Guest guest]

Thanks , Kay and Coleen (and everybody else):

I knew you would all understand. What on earth would I do without

this group??? I'd be lost! I cannot say how much this group means

to me.

You know for so long when I was trying to lose weight before, there

was always something that was missing--that key that would make

everything fall into place. Well, I've realized that in fact there

are many keys, but one of the biggest ones my key ring is this group.

I've gone to a million Weight Watchers meetings and I have never,

ever found the support there (not to bash them... they do help some

people) that I find here. Being weighed by someone who had to lose

15lbs is just strange. They would never understand what 100+lbs

feels like or what a daunting task it would be to lose that much.

All I have to say is thanks to Kaiser and thanks to this group (and

to our founder Shell!) You all have helped make my dearest dream

come true.

Gemello

3 days until reconstruction

-133 lbs

> Hi Gemello:

>

> My heart goes out to you, I know how difficult this must be for

you.

> I too am having a hard time with boundaries. In my case however,

its

> because I share EVERYTHING and then am left feeling exposed and

> vunerable. Im reading that book you recommended to me regarding

> Boundaries: Where you end and I begin. I work with alot of women

who

> even if you say please dont share this...in a few hours the whole

> center knows.

>

> It shows how important for us to respect the confidentiality of

what

> goes on in here so that at least here we know we are respected and

> can help each other. Too bad the " real " world cant be so

> compassionate.

>

> Huggles

>

>

> Open RNY: 08/19/03

> 315/283/ currently 173!!

> Goal: 135

[Guest guest]

Gemello,

If there is one thing I hate, it is office gossip and drama. You did the right thing and I love your attitude. Good luck with your surgery.

CarolGemello DiGiovanni wrote:

Hello everybody:As many of you here are aware, I work in an office where people have screwed up boundries.Case in point, I shared my story (when prompted) to a morbidly obese woman in my office. She is the office "National Enquirer," but has less credibility. I told her that my confidentiality is of utmost importance to me, but that I'd share info with her if she wanted me to help her, because she needed help, and she has Kaiser.Well, turns out, she (as I expected) has no control what-so-ever and has started drama about this behind my back. Before my growth in this process, this situation would have really p*ssed me off. And then I would have gone on a carb, fat and sugar binge. (Real good coping skill, huh?)Anyway, I'm glad to say that I have chosen to shut her out. Here is

the email I sent her::Due to my own concerns regarding my well-being, I hope you understand that I will no longer share any part of my issue with you. Like I said, "that conversation never took place." Please don't approach me regarding that subject ever again.Before I would have brooded and stewed about this. Now I can simply shut the door (so to speak) on her face. Let her talk. No information is coming from me again. The "iron curtain" has come slamming down, and I won't let it up again in that office. I've learned that my gut instinct NOT to trust her was right.But there I go again trying to help someone who won't help herself. Well, at least I've learned to cope better with it, and I actually feel good about the way I handled it because I remained in control. I control the flow of true information re: my health issues. And I am in

control of my eating too.Thank goodness I have all of you here who understand what this kind of crap means to us. Thanks for reading and understanding me. Venting here is also a great coping mechanism.Gemello4 days until reconstruction-133 lbs