Re: Grrr Hubby again.

[Guest guest]

,

It is easy for me to tell you to leave, but I know it is hard to just get

up an walk away from your marriage after 29 years. Is there anyone that you

can contact to discuss the situation? He may need different meds, it is

complicated, but how much longer can you put up with his abusive ways? Can your

parents help you? If I were you, I would start to prepare a small stash of cash,

in case you need to get out in a hurry. At least save some money to get a ride

and a room if you really need to get out of there. If that fails and he gets

violent, call 911.

Sorry you have to deal with all this,

Kris

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[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry, he is quite a " man " . The stress he is causing you will only

make things worse for you.

~~~~~

_____

From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

[mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Saturday, December 15, 2007 11:43 AM

To: herbal7@...

Subject: Grrr Hubby again.

That man I am married too gets on my every last nerve. Yelling at me about

spending money again. About last payday when I spent more than allowed on

herb and vitamins. I am allowed {allowed mind you} $95 a payday every 2

weeks. went over $10 last payday and he is yelling about it this payday. On

and on making me feel bad about my illness. Saying I am stupid, it is not

fibro fog. That I have always been stupid. Had fibro whole marriage and

beyond. 29 yrs. How I needed to pull my head out of my a## and straighten

up. Start listening. He will continue to be abusive till I change. He

admitted that he is abusive because of my actions in this marriage. How I am

too lazy to work. I told him that I am sick and he knows that. " Just an

excuse of Fibro again " he says. I don't care about your illness or you. Told

him his threatening demanding ways were not working for him. Maybe we could

get along if he changed too. I am not all of the problems. That is alot to

carry on my shoulders.

So now I started crying and he left. He is so cruel. I don't know , maybe I

am gonna walk away when he starts this crap again. He will hold onto it

though and just come back with it the next time. i am sick today with

bronchitis and he makes it worse. now is keeping money away from me and I

have to ask to go to walmart for food even. Very demeaning. He needs help I

can't give him. I asked him why he is mean and then he said mockingly " I

Have PD and it makes me that way " .

I needed to get that out. Oh and he wants to help my sis get away form her

drug addicted abusive hubby and he is abusive himself? Makes no sense.

thanks for listening and being there. I have no where to turn. My family all

live in Wa state. My Mom and dad both think he is mean to me. They are

right.

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

I wish there was something I could say or do. He is so bad for you, all of the

stress is making you worse. I wish you could just get away from him. Have you

thought about filing for disability? Then, when you get it, you could really

just walk away if he keeps harassing you.

Do you go to a regular doctor? I know you would need to do this in order to get

a record built up for beginning the application process. Social Security will

require that you have tried traditional treatments. If you're not seeing at

least a PCP on a regular basis, you really should start. I don't care if your

husband forbids it or not. If he has PD then he must be seeing a doctor,

probably several. Also, would your family in Washington let you come live with

them till you got on your feet? That would probably make it even easier to get

disability. It would also probably help your physical and emotional problems a

lot. I know these things take a lot of work and planning, and you might feel

that you're not 'up' to doing it all, but it would be SO worth it in the end.

You really either need to get away from him or manage somehow to get it through

his thick skull how ill you really are.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and Love

Caroline

> That man I am married too gets on my every last nerve. Yelling at me

> about spending money again. About last payday when I spent more than

> allowed on herb and vitamins. I am allowed {allowed mind you} $95 a

> payday every 2 weeks. went over $10 last payday and he is yelling about

> it this payday. On and on making me feel bad about my illness. Saying I

> am stupid, it is not fibro fog. That I have always been stupid. Had fibro

> whole marriage and beyond. 29 yrs. How I needed to pull my head out of my

> a## and straighten up. Start listening. He will continue to be abusive

> till I change. He admitted that he is abusive because of my actions in

> this marriage. How I am too lazy to work. I told him that I am sick and

> he knows that. " Just an excuse of Fibro again " he says. I don't care

> about your illness or you. Told him his threatening demanding ways were

> not working for him. Maybe we could get along if he changed too. I am not

> all of the problems. That is alot to carry on my shoulders.

> So now I started crying and he left. He is so cruel. I don't know ,

> maybe I am gonna walk away when he starts this crap again. He will hold

> onto it though and just come back with it the next time. i am sick today

> with bronchitis and he makes it worse. now is keeping money away from me

> and I have to ask to go to walmart for food even. Very demeaning. He

> needs help I can't give him. I asked him why he is mean and then he said

> mockingly " I Have PD and it makes me that way " .

> I needed to get that out. Oh and he wants to help my sis get away form

> her drug addicted abusive hubby and he is abusive himself? Makes no

> sense.

> thanks for listening and being there. I have no where to turn. My

> family all live in Wa state. My Mom and dad both think he is mean to me.

> They are right.

> Hugs,

____________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

My parents live in a tiny garage apt with 1 bedroom, and my sis is in an abusive

relationship with a drug-addicted hubby, that she is trying to escape. My

brother also lives in a tiny apt, so that is not an option. None can help

finacially either. Plus, will not move out of state. She wants to be

here and graduate with her friends. I have considered ssi, but unsure if I could

get it without a lawyer. Hubby needs someone to talk to him about how sick I

really am and about how he treats me. A wake-up call of some kind. Thanks for

being there hun.

Caroline Witte wrote: I wish there was something I

could say or do. He is so bad for you, all of the stress is making you worse. I

wish you could just get away from him. Have you thought about filing for

disability? Then, when you get it, you could really just walk away if he keeps

harassing you.

Do you go to a regular doctor? I know you would need to do this in order to get

a record built up for beginning the application process. Social Security will

require that you have tried traditional treatments. If you're not seeing at

least a PCP on a regular basis, you really should start. I don't care if your

husband forbids it or not. If he has PD then he must be seeing a doctor,

probably several. Also, would your family in Washington let you come live with

them till you got on your feet? That would probably make it even easier to get

disability. It would also probably help your physical and emotional problems a

lot. I know these things take a lot of work and planning, and you might feel

that you're not 'up' to doing it all, but it would be SO worth it in the end.

You really either need to get away from him or manage somehow to get it through

his thick skull how ill you really are.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and Love

Caroline

> That man I am married too gets on my every last nerve. Yelling at me

> about spending money again. About last payday when I spent more than

> allowed on herb and vitamins. I am allowed {allowed mind you} $95 a

> payday every 2 weeks. went over $10 last payday and he is yelling about

> it this payday. On and on making me feel bad about my illness. Saying I

> am stupid, it is not fibro fog. That I have always been stupid. Had fibro

> whole marriage and beyond. 29 yrs. How I needed to pull my head out of my

> a## and straighten up. Start listening. He will continue to be abusive

> till I change. He admitted that he is abusive because of my actions in

> this marriage. How I am too lazy to work. I told him that I am sick and

> he knows that. " Just an excuse of Fibro again " he says. I don't care

> about your illness or you. Told him his threatening demanding ways were

> not working for him. Maybe we could get along if he changed too. I am not

> all of the problems. That is alot to carry on my shoulders.

> So now I started crying and he left. He is so cruel. I don't know ,

> maybe I am gonna walk away when he starts this crap again. He will hold

> onto it though and just come back with it the next time. i am sick today

> with bronchitis and he makes it worse. now is keeping money away from me

> and I have to ask to go to walmart for food even. Very demeaning. He

> needs help I can't give him. I asked him why he is mean and then he said

> mockingly " I Have PD and it makes me that way " .

> I needed to get that out. Oh and he wants to help my sis get away form

> her drug addicted abusive hubby and he is abusive himself? Makes no

> sense.

> thanks for listening and being there. I have no where to turn. My

> family all live in Wa state. My Mom and dad both think he is mean to me.

> They are right.

> Hugs,

____________________________________________________________

GET FREE 5GB ONLINE STORAGE - Safely store your documents, photos and music

online!

Visit http://www.crawler.com/storage to find out more!

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as

to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr. Some

treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to certain

health conditions or just dangerous in general.

2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't be

afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that situation

better.

3. To unsubscribe the e-mail is:

Fibromyalgia_Support_Group-unsubscribe

4. Also, it is not uncommon for more than one member to be feeling bad at the

same time when it comes to flares and b/c of that potentially take something

another member says the wrong way. And that includes the things that one member

may find funny (even if it's laughing at fibro itself) even though we who deal

with illness whether one such as fibro or multiple illnesses try to keep a sense

of humor.

5. Pls let's be gentle with each other, and if you are having a bad day pls let

us know so that we can do our best to offer our support.

Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

That's the only solution I could come up with either. Could you and your

daughter get to Washington? I imagine she is a senior in high school. It

would be difficult for her to leave at this time, but maybe she would be

willing as it is stressful for her to be afraid of your husband and what he

will do next. She could probably get her GED in Washington rather than

transfer to a school there. I'm just so worried that he will snap one of

these days and do you physical abuse. That's not saying that this emotional

abuse is much easier, because it is causing you much physical pain handling

the stress. Please pray and think about it.

Jeanne in WI

Also, would your family in Washington let you come live with them till you

got on your feet? That would probably make it even easier to get disability.

It would also probably help your physical and emotional problems a lot. I

know these things take a lot of work and planning, and you might feel that

you're not 'up' to doing it all, but it would be SO worth it in the end. You

really either need to get away from him or manage somehow to get it through

his thick skull how ill you really are.

[Guest guest]

Well, maybe there is a way to get a counselor/therapist involved through an

abuse center or something? You need a mediator who won't allow him to just

blame his abuse on his PD, and get him to LISTEN to you. I'm praying for

you.

Jeanne in WI

> My parents live in a tiny garage apt with 1 bedroom, and my sis is in an

> abusive relationship with a drug-addicted hubby, that she is trying to

> escape. My brother also lives in a tiny apt, so that is not an option.

> None can help finacially either. Plus, will not move out of state.

> She wants to be here and graduate with her friends. I have considered ssi,

> but unsure if I could get it without a lawyer. Hubby needs someone to talk

> to him about how sick I really am and about how he treats me. A wake-up

> call of some kind. Thanks for being there hun.

[Guest guest]

Hi . I am just going to give you some advice. you may not like

it, but i am sorry. You need to get out of this kind of marraige. Is

there any way you can go live with your parents? They seem to be the

kind of people who will be supportive of you. And that is what you

need. Or even just live by them? How can you live with this disease

without support? And how can you let yourself be abused this way? And

I am not saying it's your fault or that you take it lying down. I

just feel really bad for your situation and think you should get out

of it. You are a woman with feelings and cannot be treated like this.

I feel so angry for you right now. I tell people this all the time

when they are not happy... " You only live once, make sure the life

you live is the one you want. " Because you don't deserve anything

less.

Good luck and keep us informed. Please think about improving your

life cuz you should be happy!!

Hugs..

Jerilyn

>

> That man I am married too gets on my every last nerve. Yelling at

me about spending money again. About last payday when I spent more

than allowed on herb and vitamins. I am allowed {allowed mind you}

$95 a payday every 2 weeks. went over $10 last payday and he is

yelling about it this payday. On and on making me feel bad about my

illness. Saying I am stupid, it is not fibro fog. That I have always

been stupid. Had fibro whole marriage and beyond. 29 yrs. How I

needed to pull my head out of my a## and straighten up. Start

listening. He will continue to be abusive till I change. He admitted

that he is abusive because of my actions in this marriage. How I am

too lazy to work. I told him that I am sick and he knows that. " Just

an excuse of Fibro again " he says. I don't care about your illness or

you. Told him his threatening demanding ways were not working for

him. Maybe we could get along if he changed too. I am not all of the

problems. That is alot to carry on my shoulders.

> So now I started crying and he left. He is so cruel. I don't

know , maybe I am gonna walk away when he starts this crap again. He

will hold onto it though and just come back with it the next time. i

am sick today with bronchitis and he makes it worse. now is keeping

money away from me and I have to ask to go to walmart for food even.

Very demeaning. He needs help I can't give him. I asked him why he is

mean and then he said mockingly " I Have PD and it makes me that way " .

> I needed to get that out. Oh and he wants to help my sis get away

form her drug addicted abusive hubby and he is abusive himself? Makes

no sense.

> thanks for listening and being there. I have no where to turn. My

family all live in Wa state. My Mom and dad both think he is mean to

me. They are right.

> Hugs,

>

>

>

>