Re: How Did It Come To This?

[Guest guest]

Well for me, it's a few different things. The first off, my mom used

to cook dinner for 8 of us, plus her and dad, yes there are 8

children from the same parents. I never grew up " knowing " what was

healthy and what wasn't. My parents used to eat snacks and treats

after we went to bed and we wanted them also, so that was difficult.

Later on, dad lost his job and our family was really REALLY tight on

money. Many nights we would go to bed hungry. We (my brothers and a

few sisters and I) would sneak food to subside our hunger. This was

a nasty habit, but when you are 8 or 9 or 10, all you can think of is

fixing your stomach pains.

So a mix of being hungry all the time and not eating healthy was a

huge ordeal for me. I became pregnant at 20 and gained 50lbs. I

never seemed to lose it after that. I didn't have any " real " reason,

or anyone pushing me to lose the baby weight.

So here I am today, 12 years after having my daughter and ready to do

something for myself. I have chosen to have the Lap RNY for myself

and myself only. " I " want to live. " I " want to see my daughter get

married. " I " want to see my grandchildren. And " I " want to grow old

with my darling husband of 9 years. I love my family, and I am

finally in a position where my daughter is old enough, and my life is

stable enough to make this major change for myself. In the long run,

for my family as well.

Thanks for listening.

Molly

Pre-Op

Waiting for a date

315/150

>

> Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress with

WLS and our current emotions about food and our weightloss. However,

I cannot help but feel that it may help some of us to disccuss HOW we

got were we are today with our weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others if

we could open up about what brought us to have the weight issues we

have. It is my opinion that if some of us do not face our past issues

with food, we may find ourselves back in that boat later down the

line. After all the hard work we are putting into ourselves, I think

we deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Shauna-what a great question, because that's what has been going

through my mind since I started considering WLS! Just as a reminder-

I have not yet had the surgery. My main concern has been-am I an

emotional eater? Well yes, when I'm down I tend to raid the fridge,

but when I'm happy? I don't think so....? If I am an emotional

eater, will I be successful after WLS? Will I be able to deal with

my emotions in other ways? I think that exercise seems to be the

answer when I read the comments of fellow members-yes, they are

exercising hard for greater weight loss results, but at the same

time releasing alot of stress. I'll be interested to read the

reactions of members who have since underwent WLS and how they feel!

Thanks again for a great question! Christy -

-- In GastricBypass-LOSERS , Shauna Thalman

wrote:

>

> Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress

with WLS and our current emotions about food and our weightloss.

However, I cannot help but feel that it may help some of us to

disccuss HOW we got were we are today with our weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others

if we could open up about what brought us to have the weight issues

we have. It is my opinion that if some of us do not face our past

issues with food, we may find ourselves back in that boat later down

the line. After all the hard work we are putting into ourselves, I

think we deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Molly,

Thank you for sharing!!! I agree that we have to do this for ourselves

first. Otherwise, I believe we are not going to be quite as dedicated. Besides

we are woth it all on our own.

I also see what you are saying about taking food to subside your hunger at a

young age. It begins to be a habit of survival really.

I think through everyone answering this question, we are going find

ourselves either in the same boat or learn what other issues contribute to

weight gain.

Thanks Again Molly!!

Shauna

MrsMolly wrote:

Well for me, it's a few different things. The first off, my mom used

to cook dinner for 8 of us, plus her and dad, yes there are 8

children from the same parents. I never grew up " knowing " what was

healthy and what wasn't. My parents used to eat snacks and treats

after we went to bed and we wanted them also, so that was difficult.

Later on, dad lost his job and our family was really REALLY tight on

money. Many nights we would go to bed hungry. We (my brothers and a

few sisters and I) would sneak food to subside our hunger. This was

a nasty habit, but when you are 8 or 9 or 10, all you can think of is

fixing your stomach pains.

So a mix of being hungry all the time and not eating healthy was a

huge ordeal for me. I became pregnant at 20 and gained 50lbs. I

never seemed to lose it after that. I didn't have any " real " reason,

or anyone pushing me to lose the baby weight.

So here I am today, 12 years after having my daughter and ready to do

something for myself. I have chosen to have the Lap RNY for myself

and myself only. " I " want to live. " I " want to see my daughter get

married. " I " want to see my grandchildren. And " I " want to grow old

with my darling husband of 9 years. I love my family, and I am

finally in a position where my daughter is old enough, and my life is

stable enough to make this major change for myself. In the long run,

for my family as well.

Thanks for listening.

Molly

Pre-Op

Waiting for a date

315/150

>

> Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress with

WLS and our current emotions about food and our weightloss. However,

I cannot help but feel that it may help some of us to disccuss HOW we

got were we are today with our weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others if

we could open up about what brought us to have the weight issues we

have. It is my opinion that if some of us do not face our past issues

with food, we may find ourselves back in that boat later down the

line. After all the hard work we are putting into ourselves, I think

we deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

There are many reasons I have come to be where I am today with my weight.

I have found out that food was the only thing that I could control in my

life. I couldn't control my parents and their actions, or that I was molested

and no one would do anything harsh about it.

I found myself at 8 years old gorging on the 5 gal. drums of ice cream my

dad would bring home from work. He worked at Baskin Robins. YAY! every kids

DREAM!! Job for their dad's hahaha. I LOVED rocky road. My dad would drink and

pass out on the couch and mom would be gone and I would ask him for stuff,

KNOWING he would allow me to. I would get the biggest bowl and spoon and fill

that sucker up and SLAM that bowl down in minutes in fear of someone catching me

with my heap.

My mom's side of the family were also overweight. I remember how food was

the center of their lives and I couldn't wait to be old enough to eat what I

wanted.There were things we were not allowed to have do to money that my parents

treated themselves to. Pepsi is the main thing. When I got older, that was allll

I drank because I COULD! As I hit my adolescent stage of life, I found myself

taking money I would earn from babysitting, etc... and using it to buy the food

that my parents did not.

Through the years, my father could never accept my weight problem. Even

though he had a hand in it. My grandmother would tell me all the time I was

going to be as big as a house and my theighs together looked like 4 of hers.

Not feeling accepted at home, I began to wonder if anyone else would ever

accept me for WHO I was not for my physical aspect. I found myself piling on the

weight so that I would not get attention. I am sure this was do to being touched

as a child. However, when I was 17, I started losing the weight and looking

good. Popular guys at school were checking me out. The moment I noticed that, i

freaked and ran straight to the kitchen and piled that weight right back on. I

couldn't handle the attention. Then I was worried that they were not going to

care about the me on the inside.

As years went on I fluctuated. I even started to take drugs to lose weight

and i'm not talking about over the counter ones. I did that for over a year and

it became a whole other addiction that I had hoped I could control and then I

quit. I lost weight alright, but I turned right around and gain MUCH MUCH more!

because I deprived my body.

I got into a bad relationship and ate, ate, ate and gained gained gained

till I was over 330 lbs.

After leaving him and the death of my mother, I knew that taking on my

brothers and sister, I had to do something. I needed to do something for ME for

a change. I had to do this FOR me and not be afraid anymore of being noticed. As

an experienced adult of life, there are many theories I have come to that have

changed my life mentally for me to handle doing this surgery.

I am working on my mental state of weight loss and gain through out the

years. That will take time. As I gain attention from others, I am now seeing

that as an adult I have control of what happens in those situations and that I

deserve to be loved for the right reasons.

Thank you for letting me share on this as well and listening!! I wish you all

the best in this part of WLS. It is so vital that we face why we are here so

that we dont get here again one day.

Shauna

343/97/248 and loving life!

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+

countries) for 2¢/min or less.

[Guest guest]

We gain a relationship with food that does not let us down emotionally really.

We have control, it is available 24/7 and it tastes darn goooooooood! Untill

later down the line, but at the moment we want a quick fix and satisfaction. We

have to find other ways to substitute those moments with something more

gradifying and healthier.

I realized that I lived to eat everyday. That was the first thing I woke up

to each morning, what am going to have to eat today. Now, I find myself thinking

of other important things. Like getting my water in and exercising today.

Getting my kids situated with whatever and my paper done for school. I have

made space of thought for other things besides food. I eat to live instead.

It's a struggle but it's getting easier with each day that I make other

things a habit instead of food.

dutchflowers70 wrote:

Hi Shauna-what a great question, because that's what has been going

through my mind since I started considering WLS! Just as a reminder-

I have not yet had the surgery. My main concern has been-am I an

emotional eater? Well yes, when I'm down I tend to raid the fridge,

but when I'm happy? I don't think so....? If I am an emotional

eater, will I be successful after WLS? Will I be able to deal with

my emotions in other ways? I think that exercise seems to be the

answer when I read the comments of fellow members-yes, they are

exercising hard for greater weight loss results, but at the same

time releasing alot of stress. I'll be interested to read the

reactions of members who have since underwent WLS and how they feel!

Thanks again for a great question! Christy -

-- In GastricBypass-LOSERS , Shauna Thalman

wrote:

>

> Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress

with WLS and our current emotions about food and our weightloss.

However, I cannot help but feel that it may help some of us to

disccuss HOW we got were we are today with our weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others

if we could open up about what brought us to have the weight issues

we have. It is my opinion that if some of us do not face our past

issues with food, we may find ourselves back in that boat later down

the line. After all the hard work we are putting into ourselves, I

think we deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

-That was a very moving story Shauna, thank you for sharing. I also

think we need to bring alot of " why " we over eat out into the

open.Keeping things secret is how alot of us got this big!

This is my story: I'm the baby in a house of 4 girls and a boy.Those

4 have a different father than mine. Although I always thought of

them as my brothers and sisters...They didnt think of me that

way...I loved my father but they hated him...all these things they

took out on me...So I took refuge in food..it has never let me down,

so in moments of great trial( I was kidnapped and raped at 18)I have

turned to food for comfort...From that moment on I have never again

been below a 16 size....then I woke up! It was almost my 50th and

here I was eating myself to death. I had given up! So I called my

Dr.and here I am waiting for Orientation (Aug 19th) and now I need

to start dealing with my emotions instead of letting my emotions

deal with me.....It's all about knowing your emotional triggers...I

believe, Shauna, that together this group can achieve anything...So

I am not going to spend my 51st birthday FAT....Time for me to move

forward...drop my baggage(cause it's too heavy anyway)and develop a

whole new way of eating...for my health and fitness!!!!

Thanks for listening to my story

Debbye

Let the Good Times Roll

-- In GastricBypass-LOSERS , Shauna Thalman

wrote:

>

> Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress

with WLS and our current emotions about food and our weightloss.

However, I cannot help but feel that it may help some of us to

disccuss HOW we got were we are today with our weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others

if we could open up about what brought us to have the weight issues

we have. It is my opinion that if some of us do not face our past

issues with food, we may find ourselves back in that boat later down

the line. After all the hard work we are putting into ourselves, I

think we deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I think my eating issues started when my parents divorced. I have one

of those little school memory books. It has my weight & such listed

thru my years in school. Well the grade where my parents

divorced...that's the grade that my weight shot up! I developed into an

emotional eater after that. My mom pretty much let me have whatever I

wanted. I didn't have any contact w/ my dad for a few years after the

divorce because he was an alcoholic. Eight days after he came out of

treatment my mom sent me to live w/ him. Well, we constantly ate out or

ate unhealthy meals. So, it just spiraled from there. As I got older

when I would get upset I would eat. I have caught myself a couple of

times since surgery heading to the fridge or kitchen when i got upset.

I just realize what I'm doing & turn around and go do something else.

:-) I used to eat just to have something to do. Now I have to find new

ways to occupy my time.

As Shauna said....you have to eat to live not live to eat.

W

380/327/160

Shauna Thalman wrote:

> Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress with WLS and

our current emotions about food and our weightloss. However, I cannot help but

feel that it may help some of us to disccuss HOW we got were we are today with

our weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others if we could

open up about what brought us to have the weight issues we have. It is my

opinion that if some of us do not face our past issues with food, we may find

ourselves back in that boat later down the line. After all the hard work we are

putting into ourselves, I think we deserve to put that same effort into us

mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I am still pre-op, but how did I get here? I was always slightly overweight.

I weighed around 190 throughout most of high school and the first years of

college. In 1997, I got pregnant, and had my oldest child, Mikey. I gained

about 25 pounds that I didn't lose before I got pregnant again in summer

1998. I gained about 25 pounds with that pregnancy too. My daughter Lucy was

born in February 1999. She died from sids in March 1999. After that I was

depressed. I ate whatever did not run away from me first, to try to filll

that empty feeling. I gained up to 290 pounds. Over the last six years, I

have lost and gained and lost and gained, but never gotten below 250. I have

had another daughter since then, Maggie in 2003. Luckily I didn't gain much

weight at all with her pregnancy - about 10 pounds. She has helped fill the

void, even though I will alway miss my Lucy. I have also discovered since

then that I am bipolar. I have worked very hard in therapy, and tried three

psychiatrists and numerous medications, till I got the right combinations of

doctor, psychologist, and meds. I have been really stable now,

psychologically, and am ready to shed my weight. I am almost glad my

insurance requires the six months diet. It igves me a change to start making

changes, and to really have this considered. Kind of like the pre-wedding

classes I had to go to for church before getting married!

-mamabear

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thank you for sharing. What comes to my mind when reading your story is how

parent's in general to do not realize how harmful food can be for children. They

think its no big deal and that we will learn and grow in our own time. The truth

is, we need guidence.

That is one VERY important thing I am learning through WLS is the

importance of modeling and showing my kids what food is actually for and can do

if not controlled properly.

Shauna

Woodard wrote:

I think my eating issues started when my parents divorced. I have one

of those little school memory books. It has my weight & such listed

thru my years in school. Well the grade where my parents

divorced...that's the grade that my weight shot up! I developed into an

emotional eater after that. My mom pretty much let me have whatever I

wanted. I didn't have any contact w/ my dad for a few years after the

divorce because he was an alcoholic. Eight days after he came out of

treatment my mom sent me to live w/ him. Well, we constantly ate out or

ate unhealthy meals. So, it just spiraled from there. As I got older

when I would get upset I would eat. I have caught myself a couple of

times since surgery heading to the fridge or kitchen when i got upset.

I just realize what I'm doing & turn around and go do something else.

:-) I used to eat just to have something to do. Now I have to find new

ways to occupy my time.

As Shauna said....you have to eat to live not live to eat.

W

380/327/160

Shauna Thalman wrote:

> Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress with WLS and our

current emotions about food and our weightloss. However, I cannot help but feel

that it may help some of us to disccuss HOW we got were we are today with our

weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others if we could open

up about what brought us to have the weight issues we have. It is my opinion

that if some of us do not face our past issues with food, we may find ourselves

back in that boat later down the line. After all the hard work we are putting

into ourselves, I think we deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Good Afternoon Everyone,

>

> I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress

with WLS and our current emotions about food and our weightloss.

However, I cannot help but feel that it may help some of us to

disccuss HOW we got were we are today with our weight.

>

> I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others

if we could open up about what brought us to have the weight issues

we have. It is my opinion that if some of us do not face our past

issues with food, we may find ourselves back in that boat later down

the line. After all the hard work we are putting into ourselves, I

think we deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

>

> Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

>

>

> Thank you!

>

> Shauna

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I am still preop but this is something I can relate to for sure. I

don't have any real tragedy that lead to my eating problem like many

of the other postings. My problem just kind of snuck up on me.

I think my basic problem is not learning good eating habits from my

parents. I remember as a child having the " junk drawer " in the kitchen

that was always full of candy. I would come home from school, park my

butt on the sofa, and eat a large can of bean dip with however many

chips it took to finish it off. I probably ate a third of a bag. We

were in the south, so many of the things that my mom cooked were

fried. I think she thought she was being a good mother because she

never made me eat anything that I didn't want to. About the only

veggies I would touch were lettuce, potatoes, green beans, and corn.

Luckily, I was exposed to many other cuisines when I got to graduate

school and now I eat very differently. Unfortunately, the damage has

already been done. I definitely eat too fast and I always think I want

more food than I realistically can eat. I also hate to waste food. If

it is on my plate and I don't think it's enough for another full meal,

I will continue to eat it. I know this is something I will really have

to work on because the pouch will not be as forgiving as my stomach is

currently.

I wore a size 9 jean in 7th grade, I was about 180 when I went to

college, I was 230 when I started graduate school and it's gone up

from there. I hit 380 but got back down to 345. I am extremely lucky

that I don't have any serious health issues (yet) but I high insulin

levels so I am on the fast track to diabetes. I am hoping that

insurance requirements will be fullfilled soon and am hoping for a

November surgery date. I am hoping this tool will help me get things

back on track so I can get on with the life that I have put on hold

for so long as a result of my weight.

Thx,

> > Good Afternoon Everyone,

> >

> > I know that throughout this group we discuss our progress with WLS

and our current emotions about food and our weightloss. However, I

cannot help but feel that it may help some of us to disccuss HOW we

got were we are today with our weight.

> >

> > I believe we can learn much about ourselves and from others if we

could open up about what brought us to have the weight issues we have.

It is my opinion that if some of us do not face our past issues with

food, we may find ourselves back in that boat later down the line.

After all the hard work we are putting into ourselves, I think we

deserve to put that same effort into us mentally.

> >

> > Are there any of you out there that would like to share?

> >

> >

> > Thank you!

> >

> > Shauna

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

The way I got to my weight, well for as long as I can remember I have

always been overweight. I was an 11lb baby!!! I have always been

heavier than everyone in my grade throughout school. In fifth grade I

was 150lbs and from there just went up each year. I was never those

people who ate when I was sad or mad. I guess it was just how and

what I ate on a regular basis. My MEXICAN grandmother lives with me,

which means: 4 big meals a day, snacks, and tons of carbs!!!! We had

as many tortillas as we could during each meal, enchiladas, lots of

eggs, lots of junk junk! Well in high school before my senior year I

was at 230 and I left on tour with a Drum and Bugle Corps and during

that summer I went down to 180 because we exercied ALL day. I kept it

at that weight for bout 5 months and it just gradually went up. I

still exercised but when I realized that I was just gaining instead of

losing, I got sad a little and just stopped exercising. That was

probably the worst thing I could have done because I was doing good.

I was using a lot of things like Hydroxycut, random lil diet pills

from Mexico, Saw doctors in mexico. I was just gaining and gaining.

Then I got on birth control, and bam, it went up fifty pounds. I

should have exercised more. Now I am at 274 and I had lost twenty

pounds about 5months ago, but it all came back. It is just mistakes I

have made through my whole life that got me to this point.

I want to do something about it because I just turned 21, and have the

energy of a 70 yr old person. I don't want to dance because I get

tired fast and don't want to sweat, I dont want to dress up because I

don't look or feel good about myself.

I am happy that I am getting this surgery in a week and a half and

start over again and learn from my past mistakes. I pray alot that I

will not get off track again because I still have the rest of my life

to live. My mother has diabetes, high blood pressure, is overweight,

and her teeth are falling out because of her insulin, and that is

scary. I never want to get to that point.

But All I can do is take it one day at a time!!