Barbara

[Guest guest]

Yes Barbara, I changed my email address.

bbryan2@... wrote: / Crew- I'm on digest and for the first time was actually able to read 's email! Hurrah! Did you do something different ? Barbara B.

[Guest guest]

Don't you even think about sending them here. (Barbara who is locking all the doors and battening down the hatches as we speak)iowa97 wrote:

Right now, I"M ready to fly the coop!!!!

ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr! I'm counting the days until school starts......and If I actually make it those 3 weeks.....it will be a MIRACLE!@

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Earplugs, Tonia, earplugs. Wouldn't you know that I got called 4 times...count them FOUR....from different staff today. Seems the clinicians who were covering flew the coop. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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[Guest guest]

Barbara

Yes, a fracture and broken bone are one in the same.

[Guest guest]

Tonia,

If it were I, I would report this Social Worker. No one should tell a child that they do not have to respect their parents, or ANY adult for that matter.

I got in trouble once for hitting my youngest. She was 14, I think, and on this one day, cursing, screaming and being totally disrespectful, and really deserved it. The Social Worker came to investigate this and I told her everything that Krisi had been involved in (drinking, drugs, partying, etc.). She had the nerve to tell me that I should not punish the child. (I had never hit one of my children before, but I was strict, they had curfews, chores, etc. They earned the things they wanted).

Let me tell you, this woman DOES NOT work for Social Services any longer. I took my complaints straight to the top. Of course, that was the end of the dealings with Social Services.

Krisi has since become the model child, on the deans list at school (she is going to get her cert. to be a surgical assistant) and is sweet, loving and caring. All this because I cared enough to punish her and she tells me that all the time now. She's glad I was strict with her, taught her the values, etc. she needs.

You have to parent your children the way you feel is best, so that they become the adults you want them to be. Don't let them threaten you with Social Services. (mine used to say they would call 1-800-don't beat me - LOL - I told them go ahead - then I'd have no excuse NOT to beat them).

Let them know that the next worker will not be nearly as stupid. (Of course, beating the children is a NO NO! LOL.) They will appreciate it later in life, believe me. I've got five great kids who appreciate the way they were raised and the fact that BOTH parents stood together in the way they were raised. Let Gene know that you have to do this together, one of you can't be the good guy. Both of you have to stay united on the rules of the house. It is NOT easy, but well worth it in the long run.

Of course, just my opinion based on way too many kids!

Good luck,

Jo

[Guest guest]

Barbara,

It's because of a subject that we started talking about last week, about my girls having ADD/ADHD, not listening or respecting me.....and Laurie asked me something in return about something I had said to you in a post.

That's why this is happening. I'm trying to remember to change all subjects lines when someone else joins in, but, it's hard for me to keep remembering to do that! lol

(has anyone seen my brains today??)

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

I'm just curious....Is there a reason why my name is included in the subject line of these posts about social services? Not sure I understand what's happening here. Barbara

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[Guest guest]

Barbara,

As a (duh) social worker/pyschotherapist (LOL - that is how YOU put it!) could you ever imagine telling children they don't have to listen to and/or respect their parents? Can you imagine telling a parent that they shouldn't discipline their child?

I've met a lot of good social workers, and I respect them greatly as their work is very difficult and extremely underpaid, but as with any profession, there are some pretty rotten apples in the bunch, and it appears as if Tonia's met up at least one of them. The one I had to deal with is no longer "in the business".

Hope you are not getting the weather we are here in NJ. Very hot, very muggy, very painful.

Hugs,

Jo

[Guest guest]

Jo - I guess like any other profession there's a wide range of folks that do this work. To answer your question....No. I would never tell a child that he or she didn't need to listen or respect their parents. Similarly, I would never tell a parent not to discipline their child. However, when I don't agree with the type of discipline you can bet that I talk to the parent.....privately and in a manner that I hope shows respect for the hard job that they have to do. I also offer alternative approaches.....both to the parent and to the child about how they might handle the situation differently.jomal1@... wrote:

Barbara,

As a (duh) social worker/pyschotherapist (LOL - that is how YOU put it!) could you ever imagine telling children they don't have to listen to and/or respect their parents? Can you imagine telling a parent that they shouldn't discipline their child?

I've met a lot of good social workers, and I respect them greatly as their work is very difficult and extremely underpaid, but as with any profession, there are some pretty rotten apples in the bunch, and it appears as if Tonia's met up at least one of them. The one I had to deal with is no longer "in the business".

Hope you are not getting the weather we are here in NJ. Very hot, very muggy, very painful.

Hugs,

Jo

[Guest guest]

Barbara i think your name got added when tonia was talking about the crazy ladt at SS and she asked you for some advice privately about helping her with how to handle the girls...BARBARA TORREY wrote:

I'm just curious....Is there a reason why my name is included in the subject line of these posts about social services? Not sure I understand what's happening here. Barbaraiowa97 wrote:

Laurie,

I went thru a year of hell, putting up with Social Services in my house, 3-5 days a week, every week. It was that witch that told Sami that she didn't have to listen to us......and if we even raised our voices, to call her from the school and tell her and she would be here within an hour.

Then, when the witch was here, she kept accusing ME of being the problem......not because I already knew myself that the girls had ADD or ADHD.....she just kept saying that I was the problem and that there was no other reason at all.

She would go down to the school and take Sami out of class for 2-3 hours at a time to "talk" to her......

So, ever since then, Gene got worse in letting the kids do as they please, his mother already let the kids do as they please.......and, because of what the witch said, I just get totally ignored around here because the kids think they can get away with everything and if I do anything, I'll be the one in jail, or, they'll go to a home where it would be "better"....

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Tonia,Can't understand why these power of be people can tell you things like that. Maybe you misunderstood the meaning if not I would look around for another one that you and the kids can relate to. You should demand respect from your children.Responsiblity seems to be lacking in our children today and respect for the parents. I think the system has parents so wrapped on threats of child abuse that we as parents feel trapped in how to disciplene them. Parenting is hard enough and when people of importance come in give alot mis guided info doesnt make it easier.I feel for you my firend.Remember to take a breather today.Laurie

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[Guest guest]

Barbara,

That is why I was asking you for any info on what I could do.....because that Witch I had never should have bothered becoming a Social Worker in the first place!

She had the attitude from the beginning that she was a perfect Parent/Grandparent, and what she said to her "clients" was the final word.....she was never wrong when she gave what she called "advice".

And, since she came to my house every other day, the last 3 months, I managed to make it so that I could take a nap and be asleep when she came, making Gene have to deal with her instead....because after being put down constantly, being told that I was the problem and that I was a bad parent for 6 months straight, including the day I got home from the hospital after having Petey..........I couldn't take anymore, and if I had to have kept seeing her, I would have probably ended up in jail for assault!!!

Not only that, she was from Luthern Social Services, a place that the State hired when their own Workes were over booked and unable to take care of all of their cases personally.

Now, the Main Social Worker we've been dealing with, he's really nice, and really good. I'm still talking with him and everything due to the idiot Special Ed Teacher Crystal has, is causing more problems than it's worth to be even sending Crystal to Pre-school to begin with!

Last winter, I could only afford for the girls to have 1 winter Coat each instead of 2...one for school and one for home/weekends. Well, it's really hard to wash a coat every other day to keep it clean, when Crystal would wear it to school, come home, stay outside to play, and then go help Gene with Chores....feeding the animals and everything......and not getting done and coming in the house until almost bedtime.....8 pm. I would have had to stay up until Midnight every other night if not later, waiting on her to fall asleep just to sneak the coat into the washer to wash it without her seeing me take it (she is very possesive of her coats in winter time! Especially since it was a Hello Kitty coat)

Then, after staying up until 12-1am and having to get up at 6:30am to start getting Sami up and ready for school, and then Crystal.......there was no way I could do it.

So, the teacher took it upon herself to wash Crystal's coat at school......which meant Crystal couldn't go outside to play during recess because of no coat.

Then the Teacher wrote a letter to the Social Worker, telling him a bunch of crap....including that we never gave Crystal a bath or washed her hair....which is a major lie cause she got a bath every single night with her hair washed!

Well, when the Social Worker....Larry.....went to talk to her about the letter she wrote.....he asked her some questions, and what she told him to his face didn't even come close to what she had written to him!

SO, when he came to talk to us, he told us what she did and everything.......and then told us that if she kept causing us problems with washing Crystal's hair for no reason, or, washing her coat or clothes for no reason.....to call and let him know, because I could actually turn the Teacher in for that! That floored me, cause I had no clue I could do that....

Well, I ended up being forced to send her to summer school......but, a few weeks ago, I talked to one of the Helpers in Crystal's class.....a Mother who's son is in Sami's class.......and found out some stuff that really didn't sit too well. So, even though I'm not supposed to drive......I'm going to be driving Crystal to school 2-3 times a week, and stay the whole day.......and keep my eye on what the teacher does.

I put up with her crap and mouth the whole year last year, and this year, I'm definately going to put my foot down now that I know that I don't have to put up with it, because most of what she is doing is against State Laws!!!!

Tonia

-------Original Message-------

Jo - I guess like any other profession there's a wide range of folks that do this work. To answer your question....No. I would never tell a child that he or she didn't need to listen or respect their parents. Similarly, I would never tell a parent not to discipline their child. However, when I don't agree with the type of discipline you can bet that I talk to the parent.....privately and in a manner that I hope shows respect for the hard job that they have to do. I also offer alternative approaches.....both to the parent and to the child about how they might handle the situation differently.

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