Re: Suicide #1 cause of death in fibro patients // feeling this way now

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/10/2007 9:15:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

ladybug75901@... writes:

I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate living with

this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about having this

invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but making

negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

Debra, I know what you are talking about here. Today is an extra bad day

for me emotionally. I had a bad night and woke up about 5:30 this morning

vomiting and with diarrhea and a fever...I think that it is my kidneys causing

it. Right now I am fighting to get these bad thoughts out of my head...main

thought is what is my purpose here? Why do I have to live like this?

Love and hugs,

Debi

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/11/2007 11:58:00 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

FibroLady@... writes:

Suicide is very final. You will hurt your loved ones greatly if you should

succeed. It's not right for us to bring pain to others just because we have it

ourselves.

I'm just feeling like that today, but I wouldn't follow through. My

daughter, whom I'm always talking about that I live with, lost her dad when she

was

11 and then a newborn 6 day old baby 3 and a half years ago and it hurt

everyone, but especially her. So, I wouldn't do that to her. That's why I'm

on

here. As I'm always saying, the kids are my reason for living and so is my

daughter.

Thank you for your encouragement.

Love and gentle hugs,

Debi/So. Cal.-54

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[Guest guest]

Speaking as one who did try that way out, I can tell you that MOST times I'm

glad I failed. It is so important to take care of our psychological needs as

well as our physical needs, because we ALL ask ourselves why we should stay

around and suffer. The answer that usually works for me is that there are

millions, even billions of people worse off than we. If we can help even one

person who IS worse than we are, it will have made it worthwhile. Obviously I'm

not talking about the pain. There are so many people in need in this world.

There are so many places we can volunteer, and because we ARE volunteering, we

are much more easily excused if our health prevents us from meeting an

obligation. However, the fact that we have MADE an obligation, and an important

one at that, makes it easier to fight our own pain and do what we promised. At

least, it works like that for me. Nothing makes me feel better than to really

help another person. It raises my spirits like nothing else can. I also make

sure I take care of myself, including taking my psych meds and seeing my psych

doctor as scheduled. I always know that if it gets really bad I can check myself

into the very nice psych hospital I have at my disposal. It really IS nice, it's

often a temptation just to sign in for a holiday...LOL!! THE best food. No

housework. Group right there on premises, no traveling. Doctors and nurses 24/7.

What's not to love? Oh yes, a large library of great books, DVDs to watch for

free. Of course TVs with all channels. Not that I like TV, but for those who

do...Did I mention the food...? LOL! Not only 3 great meals each day, from a

huge selection of different things, but snacks as well.

Honestly I have never requested to be admitted under false pretenses. I know it

is very expensive and even though I'm not paying for it, SOMEBODY is. It helps

just knowing it's there if I need it, though. I hope you all have access to

something similar. Suicide is very final. You will hurt your loved ones greatly

if you should succeed. It's not right for us to bring pain to others just

because we have it ourselves. That being said, there are days, even weeks where

it IS a struggle. I hope I will always be able to fight.

Peace and Love

Caroline

> I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate living

> with

> this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about having

> this

> invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but making

> negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

>

>

> Debra, I know what you are talking about here. Today is an extra bad

> day

> for me emotionally. I had a bad night and woke up about 5:30 this

> morning

> vomiting and with diarrhea and a fever...I think that it is my kidneys

> causing

> it. Right now I am fighting to get these bad thoughts out of my

> head...main

> thought is what is my purpose here? Why do I have to live like this?

>

> Love and hugs,

> Debi

____________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Hey guys, read the Fibro book by Dr. Wallace. He talks in length about

overcoming depression, anger, perfectionism, etc. I'm halfway through and I'd

type excerpts but it would be half the book. He talks about improving coping

skills. I really think it might help.

Angie

Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 5 cats, snow skiing,

camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers

member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

" It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

http://www.myspace.com/amkg

http://doripost.agrato.info/

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

Re: Suicide #1 cause of death in fibro patients // feeling this

way now

In a message dated 12/10/2007 9:15:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

ladybug75901@ yahoo.com writes:

I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate living with

this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about having this

invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but making

negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

Debra, I know what you are talking about here. Today is an extra bad day

for me emotionally. I had a bad night and woke up about 5:30 this morning

vomiting and with diarrhea and a fever...I think that it is my kidneys causing

it. Right now I am fighting to get these bad thoughts out of my head...main

thought is what is my purpose here? Why do I have to live like this?

Love and hugs,

Debi

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~

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[Guest guest]

Debi,

I am sorry to hear about the pain that you are going through. I know that we all

have thought slike your occasionally, but am glad that you are not going to

follow through. I agree that children can be a shining light in our lives and

provide us with a reason to continue on. I have heard of the great impact that

losing a parent has on young children and would never wish that on anyone.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

~

DebiAC012553@... wrote:

In a message dated 12/11/2007 11:58:00 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

FibroLady@... writes:

Suicide is very final. You will hurt your loved ones greatly if you should

succeed. It's not right for us to bring pain to others just because we have it

ourselves.

I'm just feeling like that today, but I wouldn't follow through. My

daughter, whom I'm always talking about that I live with, lost her dad when

she was

11 and then a newborn 6 day old baby 3 and a half years ago and it hurt

everyone, but especially her. So, I wouldn't do that to her. That's why I'm

on

here. As I'm always saying, the kids are my reason for living and so is my

daughter.

Thank you for your encouragement.

Love and gentle hugs,

Debi/So. Cal.-54

---------------------------------

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> In a message dated 12/10/2007 9:15:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> ladybug75901@... writes:

>

> I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate

living with

> this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about

having this

> invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but

making

> negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

>

>

> Debra, I know what you are talking about here. Today is an extra

bad day

> for me emotionally. I had a bad night and woke up about 5:30

this morning

> vomiting and with diarrhea and a fever...I think that it is my

kidneys causing

> it. Right now I am fighting to get these bad thoughts out of my

head...main

> thought is what is my purpose here? Why do I have to live like

this?

>

> Love and hugs,

> Debi

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Be a good e-mail buddy, and ALWAYS

> protect your friends from email address harvesters which can lead

to more

> Spam, unwanted mail, and even viruses.

> Copy and paste into a new email and place parenthesis around the

addresses.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

>

>

> **************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

> (http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> In a message dated 12/10/2007 9:15:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> ladybug75901@... writes:

>

> I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate

living with

> this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about

having this

> invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but

making

> negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

>

>

> Debra, I know what you are talking about here. Today is an extra

bad day

> for me emotionally. I had a bad night and woke up about 5:30

this morning

> vomiting and with diarrhea and a fever...I think that it is my

kidneys causing

> it. Right now I am fighting to get these bad thoughts out of my

head...main

> thought is what is my purpose here? Why do I have to live like

this?

>

> Love and hugs,

> Debi

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Be a good e-mail buddy, and ALWAYS

> protect your friends from email address harvesters which can lead

to more

> Spam, unwanted mail, and even viruses.

> Copy and paste into a new email and place parenthesis around the

addresses.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

>

>

> **************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

> (http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> In a message dated 12/10/2007 9:15:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> ladybug75901@... writes:

>

> I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate

living with

> this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about

having this

> invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but

making

> negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

>

>

> Debra, I know what you are talking about here. Today is an extra

bad day

> for me emotionally. I had a bad night and woke up about 5:30

this morning

> vomiting and with diarrhea and a fever...I think that it is my

kidneys causing

> it. Right now I am fighting to get these bad thoughts out of my

head...main

> thought is what is my purpose here? Why do I have to live like

this?

>

> Love and hugs,

> Debi

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Be a good e-mail buddy, and ALWAYS

> protect your friends from email address harvesters which can lead

to more

> Spam, unwanted mail, and even viruses.

> Copy and paste into a new email and place parenthesis around the

addresses.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

>

>

> **************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

> (http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

>

> In a message dated 12/10/2007 9:15:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> ladybug75901@... writes:

>

> I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate

living with

> this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about

having this

> invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but

making

> negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

>

>

> Debra, I know what you are talking about here. Today is an extra

bad day

> for me emotionally. I had a bad night and woke up about 5:30

this morning

> vomiting and with diarrhea and a fever...I think that it is my

kidneys causing

> it. Right now I am fighting to get these bad thoughts out of my

head...main

> thought is what is my purpose here? Why do I have to live like

this?

>

> Love and hugs,

> Debi

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Be a good e-mail buddy, and ALWAYS

> protect your friends from email address harvesters which can lead

to more

> Spam, unwanted mail, and even viruses.

> Copy and paste into a new email and place parenthesis around the

addresses.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

>

>

> **************************************See AOL's top rated recipes

> (http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

>

>

>