Suicide #1 cause of death in fibro patients

[Guest guest]

I was looking up some stuff the other day on google. I was putting my search

words in as " fibromyalgia " and " death " . I guess it is because I sometimes

wonder if this disease truly will kill us even though they say it won't.

Feeling like you are dying 90% of your life does not make sense to me unless you

are literally dying. Well, one interesting piece of info I found was that

suicide is the #1 cause of death in fibro patients. PLEASE DONT THINK I CONDONE

THIS. I dont mean it that way.

However, when I think of the constant pain that is seldom relieved even short

term, and coupled with the fact that most of us are basically thrown in the

trash by society in general from lack of belief, I can understand why suicide is

the #1 cause of death in fibro patients.

I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate living with

this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about having this

invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but making negative

comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

It is like " the joke is on us " .... Here we are. We have this damn thing that

no doctor can see with any medical data.... we are locked in this body to live

with it everyday.... it robs us of all our energy and takes away the human we

use to be.... and the joke is on us because guess what????? NO ONE ELSE CAN

SEE IT. It is like a nightmare.

I also think of how many of you are in much worse condition than me. And when

I see that, I think that will probably be me in another 5 or 10 years. Right

now my pain is tolerable with meds MOST of the time.... but what about when the

day comes that I can't get any relief and I cannot function at all. The way

this damn thing progressed with me over the years, it slowly crept in for years

then became 10 fold just in the last 4 years.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Hi Debra,

You have really tugged at my heart and brought a tear to my eye.

I'm so, so sorry that this terrible monster has brought you down so far. I

have been down there, and probably will have to fight it off again one day, and

so I empathize. I understand your anger at this disease and at the people who

dismiss us as hypochondriacs, particularly when they are close to you. I have

been that angry , but thank goodness it has subsided. I still get hurt by those

that push us away.

My daughter has never taken this illness seriously. She will want me to take

two of her boys overnight (6 and 3) so she and her husband can do something and

I tell her again and again that I can only take Jack 6. Brady 3 has the

attention span of a knat and is either climbing around like a monkey or bouncing

like a kangaroo. They were here Saturday to drop off Jack and in the 45 min

they were here Brady had gone upstairs to the guest room (, my son's room,

and Jack's room are what we call it - or the " other room " when I am putting

something there I don't know what to do with - happens a lot) 5 times to bring

stuff downstairs to play with. Then he saw my cat and got scared and wanted me

to go with him. I went once and then told him once is all Nana does stairs for a

while. That seems like a sufficient reply to a 3 year old. It just is what it

is. Deal with it. His mother, my daughter, just sits there, Aidan is crawling

around on the floor, and she finally says

" come on Brady, Nana isn't feeling well right now. " I just hate it when she

does that because the kids then want to know what is wrong, you know a cold or

something, and start asking if I'm feeling better. I wish she would just leave

it alone and let me tell him what I choose instead of adding her 2 cents worth.

I also hate it when she doesn't tell him he has enough stuff downstairs or

doesn't go upstairs with him herself.

When I tell her I can't keep Brady, she talks about how I'm hurting his

feelings. And I feel so badly, but tell her he's 3 he'll get over it and get

older. I'm not 3 and I won't get over it for a long time. I've even sent her

e-mails trying to explain why I can't do it and what is wrong with me and why

Jack can come because he's so easy. but even then she gets annoyed with me. She

said this last time " well I know you have limitations, but he really wants to

come. " This is on top of the fact that I don't think he really wants to stay

over after his mom leaves. He is afraid of my cat and crys and throws fits.

She throws in that he stays at his other grandparents with Jack. There are two

of them and they are in very good health so it is a different situation and they

don't do it much. But I throw in that Grandma takes only Jack most of the time

and also takes him to movies and to the UCONN women's basketball games. Nothing

works so I need to quit explaining, but

she won't let the Brady thing alone and so it comes up a lot. She can also be

mean and not let Jack come either or stop coming to visit me with all three

boys, just not have anyone spend the night. Oh my have I gone on and on about

that. Guess I am a little bitter after all. I surely am glad I have this site

to vent on instead of taking it out on her.

It really is a problem that fibromyalgia is one of the invisible illnesses.

It makes it so much harder to explain. You can't actually see pain or brain fog

or extreme fatigue. It makes me sad to know that you wake up angry every day.

I wish there was something I could do to cheer you up. I hope you wake up happy

tomorrow.

Blessed be,

Marti

debra van ness wrote:

I was looking up some stuff the other day on google. I was putting my

search words in as " fibromyalgia " and " death " . I guess it is because I sometimes

wonder if this disease truly will kill us even though they say it won't. Feeling

like you are dying 90% of your life does not make sense to me unless you are

literally dying. Well, one interesting piece of info I found was that suicide is

the #1 cause of death in fibro patients. PLEASE DONT THINK I CONDONE THIS. I

dont mean it that way.

However, when I think of the constant pain that is seldom relieved even short

term, and coupled with the fact that most of us are basically thrown in the

trash by society in general from lack of belief, I can understand why suicide is

the #1 cause of death in fibro patients.

I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate living with this

anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about having this

invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but making negative

comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

It is like " the joke is on us " .... Here we are. We have this damn thing that no

doctor can see with any medical data.... we are locked in this body to live with

it everyday.... it robs us of all our energy and takes away the human we use to

be.... and the joke is on us because guess what????? NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE IT. It

is like a nightmare.

I also think of how many of you are in much worse condition than me. And when I

see that, I think that will probably be me in another 5 or 10 years. Right now

my pain is tolerable with meds MOST of the time.... but what about when the day

comes that I can't get any relief and I cannot function at all. The way this

damn thing progressed with me over the years, it slowly crept in for years then

became 10 fold just in the last 4 years.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi Debra,

>

> My daughter has never taken this illness seriously. She will

want me to take two of her boys overnight (6 and 3) so she and her

husband can do something and I tell her again and again that I can

only take Jack 6. Brady 3 has the attention span of a knat and is

either climbing around like a monkey or bouncing like a kangaroo.

They were here Saturday to drop off Jack and in the 45 min they were

here Brady had gone upstairs to the guest room Then he saw my cat and

got scared and wanted me to go with him. I went once and then told

him once is all Nana does stairs for a while. That seems like a

sufficient reply to a 3 year old.

Marti, I remember sometime in the months after I had my first bout of

what, now 30 + plus years later, I now know is fibro. At sometime

during the months that followed, I was visiting my sister and I had

her car so I could see one of the doctors in the area and then I

picked up my niece at the babysitter's. I am not sure just when it

happened during that summer, but at one point, put her arms out

for me to pick her up and then she realized " Oh, Aunt , you can't

pick me up any more, can you? " I would say she was about five at the

time and I had spent alot of time with her over the years,

babysitting, taking her on short drives with my ex-husband and many

other things. But I have not forgotten that child knowing Aunt

could not pick her up --- and that was not TRUE all of the time as it

was more seasonal then than it is now! But that did not offend her

parents and she seemed to accept it with little or no explanation.

There were times when she visited me in Chicago, and one time I must

have told her that she couldn't do something or she refused to eat

something! So she had to take the phone out on the landing, shut the

door and complain to her mother for 30 minutes or so and suddenly I

became the meanest aunt in the world. Later my other sister got the

same label when she served her peas and so she again had to call her

mother, unfortunately for that sister, my other sister said " I hate

peas, and I don't ever serve them! " But I do think we eventually to

the point with food that my aunt and uncle taught me and that was:you

had to try something at least once and if you still did not like it,

that was ok!

But it really seems that your daughter needs to be teaching her

children to respect the boundaries you have to set for your self and

not talk to the boys in the manner which she is doing.

And I wonder about the suicide part of Debra's posting. I have tried

twice, supposedly sever, major recurrent depression which I could not

really tell you what did trigger both attempts other than the fact

that they each occured after major moves. But could also see that

when the pain is so bad that you just have to drag your self up and

down the stairs, you might just think about one of those bottles.

And I can see that there is a correlation with the chaos in this

house and my lack of energy.

Well, since the last time I saw the clock last night it was 2:30 or

so and my eyes are getting heavy, so I am getting off of the

computer. But I am NOT GOING TO BED! I have to work at getting my

body back to a more normal sleep pattern.

Marti, I am so sorry for the way your daughter is expressing herself

to her children in front of you. And Debra, I find the depression an

interesting bit of info, but on the other hand, which might have come

first, the depression or the fibro????

[Guest guest]

Honestly, I completely understand. I have felt this way several times. I

hate being a burden to my children, my 70 yr old mother, my boyfriend,

everyone. Like you Debra, my symptoms have quadrupled in the last 3 years. I

hate to see what I am like in 2 more years. I will never kill myself but I

have thought about it in fleeting moments of pain and despair. It is so

important that we all find support and never give up hope. Some day those

who scoffed at us and thought we were looney will know that we were telling

the truth and that we are sick and hopefully some day there will be a cure

for our children who suffer from it.

~~~~~

_____

From: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

[mailto:Fibromyalgia_Support_Group ] On Behalf Of debra van

ness

Sent: Monday, December 10, 2007 12:15 PM

To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

Subject: Suicide #1 cause of death in fibro patients

I was looking up some stuff the other day on google. I was putting my search

words in as " fibromyalgia " and " death " . I guess it is because I sometimes

wonder if this disease truly will kill us even though they say it won't.

Feeling like you are dying 90% of your life does not make sense to me unless

you are literally dying. Well, one interesting piece of info I found was

that suicide is the #1 cause of death in fibro patients. PLEASE DONT THINK I

CONDONE THIS. I dont mean it that way.

However, when I think of the constant pain that is seldom relieved even

short term, and coupled with the fact that most of us are basically thrown

in the trash by society in general from lack of belief, I can understand why

suicide is the #1 cause of death in fibro patients.

I know I wake up with anger every single day of my life. I hate living with

this anger. I want to get over it. But I am so damn bitter about having this

invisible demon controlling my life and people doing nothing but making

negative comments about fibromyalgia sufferers.

It is like " the joke is on us " .... Here we are. We have this damn thing that

no doctor can see with any medical data.... we are locked in this body to

live with it everyday.... it robs us of all our energy and takes away the

human we use to be.... and the joke is on us because guess what????? NO ONE

ELSE CAN SEE IT. It is like a nightmare.

I also think of how many of you are in much worse condition than me. And

when I see that, I think that will probably be me in another 5 or 10 years.

Right now my pain is tolerable with meds MOST of the time.... but what about

when the day comes that I can't get any relief and I cannot function at all.

The way this damn thing progressed with me over the years, it slowly crept

in for years then became 10 fold just in the last 4 years.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

---------------------------------

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.