so stressed out!!! :-(

[Guest guest]

*From:* AJ

*Date:* 12/3/2007 2:18:21 AM

*To:* Fibromyalgia_Support_Group

*Subject:* so stressed out!!! :-(

Thank you all for your responses!! I know that I've been posting a

lot lately about all the cr*p i'm going through. my family is just

really stressing me out (and we all know that being stressed out

doesn't exactly help an already not good situation...) ever since i

started having physical difficulties (when i was 11... i'm now 20,

will be 21 in march...), my dad has been dropping hints that i'm just

plain lazy, and that i'm using being " sick " or " not feeling well " as

an excuse to be lazy... it's like, oh yes, i must be lazy, considering

that i'm taking a 5 credit hour class and working 20-40 hours a week,

with no discernable pattern in my work schedule..

**********************************************************

Hi !

I am new to this mailing list and while I have been reading posts from

all of you for a few days now, this is the first email that I am responding

to. I'm new to my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, so I'm not an expert in

it by any means, but even I know how much stress can effect this

disease.

What I am probably an expert on is mother in laws and stress. I've

been married 5 times and I have had some real winners in the

mother in law department. ;-) In all my marriages but this one, I

was a doormat and allowed everyone to walk on me. This one is

different. I stand up for myself (nicely) and I have been very happily

married for 14 years!

You can only be stressed if you let yourself be. You have to

first sit down with Greg and explain to him exactly how

his mother is making you feel both emotionally and physically.

Do it in a nice way, but you have to be firm and ask him for his

help. This is a man that you are planning to spend the rest of your

life with and he has to know about your condition and he has to step

up to the plate and at least back you up here. Tell him that you

want your visits to his families to be short and sweet and that he

can't leave your side while you are there. If his mother starts to

go off on you, he has to stand up for you to her. Maybe he really

isn't noticing how negative she is towards you. Men sometimes

don't see things like that when it comes to their families. (no offense

intended towards any men on the list)

Then if it continues to happen, don't go to his families. I backed out

of my husbands family life for about 6 months one time and it was

almost a totally stress free time for me. When I started going back,

it was so much better. But when you are there, remember, that you

are a very worthwhile person and that " she " is the one with the

problem. Keeping that in mind should help you be less stressed

and that is what is important. Your future mother in law sounds like

the type that likes to intimidate people. Don't let her! Remember that

you are a wonderful person and you are worthy of her son. Don't let her

make you feel like less of a person because you have this problem.

Take your meds when you need to and don't worry about her. Don't

let her make you miserable either mentally or physically. That will

only build resentment.

Sorry this is so long, but I have been reading your other posts before

this one and I can tell what a sweet, caring person you are. Don't let

her make you as unhappy and miserable as she is.

--

Cheryl

" Hairless Hugs and Crested Kisses "

Skyclad Chinese Cresteds