New Member, Long timer of the F word.

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone. I don't like to dignify this thing we have, so I hardly

call it by name. It has caused more harm to me, and all of you too, I

am guessing, and not just harm to me.

I feel very bad with my current living situation. I have had `f' for

about 4 years. I was a nurse for about 20 yrs, injured my back and

never returned to a pain free status. I was in the hosp for pain mgt.

when I originally hurt my back and I had to stay with my mom. I had

just moved to about 40 minutes away from our hometown. Anyway, I

never got to go back home and my 11 yr old daughter and I are still

here. I am lucky to still have my mother at my age, I just turned 46

last week.

Well, my daughter has some issues with her mental status. She is ADD

and has oppositional defiant disorder and anger issues.She had been to

Mental Health professionals for aboout 3 yrs. She is adopted and her

birth family has the issues too. Her disrespect and anger is hurting

my mother, and she doesn't even want my daughter to live with us

anymore. There is no one else for her to go to and I haven't yet had

my hearing for SSD, so I have no income to get us a place. I don't

think I could take care of a place for us without a cleaning lady. I

have the bad case of fibro, every point is positive plus a lot of the

extras that go with it.

I am on a handful of meds, the usual `f' patient cocktail. Pain meds,

antidepressants, stomach pill, restless leg med, and a pill for asthma

and there are still days I barely get out of bed and that makes my

daughter mad and it ruins the rest of the day.

I know I am in a tough position and don't expect a miracle cure, but I

had to get some of this off my chest. My psychiatrist told me to

bring my daughter with me next time, but if she has one of her

destructive spells, she has pulled her fist out and hit me when I

didn't let her do what she wanted, I will take her to the Childrens

Hospital.

I feel like what little bit of " Me " that is left is being pulled apart

by all this stress, I wonder how I am holding on. Thanks for reading

this, just knowing others are out there helps.