Guest guest Posted October 22, 2004 Report Share Posted October 22, 2004 Cheryl, what you said was fine. I have found that older people do talk about their aches & pains its just normal. At least it will give her something to think about before she complains to someone the next time. My own mother complains about how her legs aches everytime we see her. I sometimes say well Mom you can least still walk without any help! I know its not nice to talk to your mother like that but I what people no matter how old just be thankful for a health long life. She is 84 and can still run, I'm not kidding either she still scrubs her floors on her hands and knees....................Flora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2004 Report Share Posted October 22, 2004 I feel we are special, depending on how bad you are we can almost trump anyone's problems. We do have to be careful of this especially to loved ones and friends. Having them say a simple " Gosh, what a crappy day at work " we can squash it quickly with a " Wish I COULD work " . It's true they are lucky to be able to work but now they feel they can't complain about their " bad day " . I have to catch myself at this all the time, " I was skiing and man am I sore " well you all know what goes through my mind... I don't know what happened here so not saying your " wrong' or " right " . I sometimes do do that to shut down whiners ;-) dale SEEKING YOUR OPINION > > Hello everyone! > > At my water jogging class on Wednesday, I made a comment to a 79-year old > woman that age is just a number...it's our state of mind that matters > more. This woman said that now that she is older, she's noticing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2004 Report Share Posted October 23, 2004 Carol While I think your response was appropriate I read more into the lady's inquiry. People are very curious I have found. Especially if you look relatively normal and interesting, they just have to find out what is causing you to limp or whatever might be an outward sign of spasticity. That one lady might have just been the 'scout' for her 'group' with a mission to start a conversation and see if you would reveal what 'the problem is'. I've found women tend to find a way to 'beat around the bush' while men just matter of fact say 'So what happened to you, a stroke?' While we owe no one an explanation of our situations, if you want to recover this lady and possible the group as allies you could start up a side conversation and explain what HSP is. Who knows you might become their heroine for being so positive and so brave. This has worked for me. I always end the conversation with " Where God gives you lemons, make lemonade. " Hope my different angle helps Eva (poss.ALS) in WV > Hello everyone! > > At my water jogging class on Wednesday, I made a comment to a 79- year old woman that age is just a number...it's our state of mind that matters more. This woman said that now that she is older, she's noticing more and more that she cannot do things she used to do. My response was that I am considerably younger than her (I'm 41) and that there are alot of things that I cannot do, but I'm thankful that I'm able to do what I can....I know she was all ready to whine about how she had arthritis, etc., but she didn't. She's chosen to stay away from me and talk with people closer to her own age... > > I'm open to thoughts and criticisms as to what I said to that lady. I really don't feel that I am " in the wrong " about what I said. What do you all think? > > Cheryl (HSP in Maine) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2004 Report Share Posted October 23, 2004 Dear Cheryl, A lot of older people want to tell you how bad the feel, they do not want to hear about your problems, they want you to tell them that you feel so sorry for them. I am 70 and I used say that I am doing OK, and then I said that every time I see a little child in a wheelchair, how lucky we are that we where able do a lot of things before got ill. cheryl huskins wrote: > Hello everyone! > > At my water jogging class on Wednesday, I made a comment to a 79-year > old woman that age is just a number...it's our state of mind that > matters more. This woman said that now that she is older, she's > noticing more and more that she cannot do things she used to do. My > response was that I am considerably younger than her (I'm 41) and that > there are alot of things that I cannot do, but I'm thankful that I'm > able to do what I can....I know she was all ready to whine about how > she had arthritis, etc., but she didn't. She's chosen to stay away > from me and talk with people closer to her own age... > > I'm open to thoughts and criticisms as to what I said to that lady. I > really don't feel that I am " in the wrong " about what I said. What do > you all think? > > Cheryl (HSP in Maine) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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