Toddler diet

[Guest guest]

> I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy New Year and may you beblessed> in 2004. For those of you seeking that perfect diet for your New Year's> Resolution, look no farther!! Enjoy!!> > Miracle Toddler Diet> ====================> > Losing weight is the number New Year's Resolution.> The problem is, hardly anything works.> Well, I found this one diet that will absolutely shed the pounds.> > Read it and see if you don't agree, it works for my two-year-old.> > Miracle Toddler Diet! Guaranteed Results!!!> > People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble> with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation> diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you> go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to> cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days.> > Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet.> Over the years you may have noticed that most two-year-olds are> trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in> this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before> embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him> afterwards. Good Luck !!!> > DAY ONE:> > Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.> > Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers;> dump the rest on the floor.> > Take 1 bite of toast,> then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.> > Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips,> and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).> > Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel,> 4 sips of flat Sprite.> > Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.> > DAY TWO:> > Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.> > Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.> > Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of> Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.> > Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take> outside, drop in dirt.> Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.> > Then bring inside and drop on rug.> > Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up> your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes;> eat with spoon.> > DAY THREE:> > Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup,> eat one with fingers, rub in hair.> Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.> > After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug,> lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.> > Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich.> Spit several bites onto the floor.> Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.> > Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips,> some red punch.> > Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.> > FINAL DAY:> > Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor),> bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of> cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar.> Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.> > Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet.> Find that sucker and finish eating it.> > Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball> on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.> > Enjoy!