AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

[Guest guest]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.

Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat

and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly

removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing

vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while

you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting

the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut

yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing

the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,

will prevent you from rolling over and going back to

sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of

laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a

hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of

life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it

doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the

duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get

another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and

friends; you never know when you might need them to

empty your bedpan? (or chase the geezer that stole your cane in Kmart) LOL

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[Guest guest]

>

> AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

> 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.

> Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat

> and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly

> removed.

> 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing

> vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while

> you chop away.

> 3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting

> the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

> 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut

> yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing

> the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

> 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,

> will prevent you from rolling over and going back to

> sleep after you hit the snooze button.

> 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of

> laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

> 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a

> hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

> Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of

> life really are:

> You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it

> doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and

does, use the duct tape.

> Remember:

> Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

> Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

> If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get

> another chance.

> And finally, be really nice to your family and

> friends; you never know when you might need them to

> empty your bedpan? (or chase the geezer that stole your cane in

Kmart) LOL

>

>

>

>

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