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[Guest guest]

, I can really relate to the problems you are having with your family. My

parents were always sure I was the laziest person on God's green earth. I got

CFS when I was about 27. I could NOT get out of bed, I slept for at least 20

hours out of 24. Of course nothing showed up on any tests, and this was long

before it was recognised here. I blew through all my savings, cashed in all my

retirement plans, and was generally miserable. I had to hire a full time

babysitter as my daughter was only a little over a year old when this happened.

I did have my boyfriend to help in the evenings. He knew I was really sick. I

had an amazing job that I loved, and he knew I wouldn't have 'blown it off' if I

could have helped doing it. He also saw the migraine from H*** I had that lasted

for over 4 days before I would allow myself to be dragged to hospital. I was

afraid I either had a brain tumor or that they wouldn't believe I had a headache

that bad nor long-lasting. Unfortunately we had problems unrelated to this and

broke up. I was forced to move from AZ back to Washington so that my family

could help out. I had talked to them before I made the move, and they said they

would help. Actually, they just wanted to have my daughter close to them. My

parents would never accept that I was really ill. Finally, after about a year

and a half I was recovered enough to go back to work, long story. But, even then

my parents called me lazy. I was working as a chef, often 12 or more hours a day

sometimes 6 or 7 days a week, and so my house got very messy. I finally gave in

and hired a housekeeping service once a week, but my parents were appalled, and

'brainwashed' my daughter into believing I was just a lazy-good for nothing. I

know how you feel. Exactly. My parents NEVER accepted there was anything wrong

with me till the days they died. I WAS dx'd before my father died, as a matter

of fact, I was dx'd while my mother was dying from bowel cancer, but I couldn't

tell them at that point. After she died, I tried explaining it to my father, but

he 'wasn't buying' it. Even though I took care of him 24/7 when he became very

ill, and that was for about 3 years, he didn't believe me. The stress of caring

for him really set me off, though I did manage to do what was needed. Once he

died, it all set in. I was never able to go back to work after that.

Unfortunately, our parents seem to make up their minds about us based on their

own agendas for us. If we don't meet their expectations, then we can be 'written

off', and I don't think there is anything that will ever change their minds. I

wish I knew what you could do, but I tried everything with my parents, and

nothing worked. BUT I CAN and do empathise with what you are going through with

them. I only hope you find a way to get out on your own. It will make a huge

difference, as you can lead your own life without them interfering as much as

they do now. Like most of us, I had had health problems even when I was young,

but I am glad I wasn't living at home when the 'crisis' hit. I don't think I

could have stood it, knowing my parents would have been physically throwing me

out of bed. They really would, I know from experience when I was young. If I

said I was ill, and wouldn't get up, then that's what they did. I honestly pray

that you can find a way to get out of there. I think that would help you

physically as well. If you want to write me off-list, then go ahead, I do

understand what you are going through.

Peace and Love

Caroline

Thank you all for your responses!! I know that I've been posting a

lot lately about all the cr*p i'm going through. my family is just

really stressing me out (and we all know that being stressed out

doesn't exactly help an already not good situation...) ever since i

started having physical difficulties (when i was 11... i'm now 20,

will be 21 in march...), my dad has been dropping hints that i'm just

plain lazy, and that i'm using being " sick " or " not feeling well " as

an excuse to be lazy... it's like, oh yes, i must be lazy, considering

that i'm taking a 5 credit hour class and working 20-40 hours a week,

with no discernable pattern in my work schedule..

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