a lil bit of humor

[Guest guest]

Hope your all having a great holiday weekend!

Hugs

Donna

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with

each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child

differs from having your first:

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN

confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name

1st baby: You pour over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and

writing combinations of all your favorites.

2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt

Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your

finger points.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last

time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them,

and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard

only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up

the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your

firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you

can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with

some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Sleeping

1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six - eight weeks

2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks

3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room

Baby Book

1st baby: You religiously make entries every day, carefully noting the

number of spit-ups and bowel movements for the first year

2nd baby: You enter a few facts each week but stop after 6 months

3rd baby: You buy the book but enter the child's name, birth weight, and

length on the first page

Diapering

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need

it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain

about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby

Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call

home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a

number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees

blood.

At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older

child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing a coin

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the

hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin

to pass.

3rd child: When 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his

allowance!!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...or everyone who

KNOWS someone who has had children... (the older the mother, the funnier

this is!)