Re: Feeling Down

[Guest guest]

Hi Rob----- sorry you are feeling so down. I know that feeling of the disease

wearing you down. I have no answers except I have been there and am just

coming out of that state. I too am a teacher and with the help of my parents

am taking the year off to see if somehow I can get better. I pray for both of

us that our energy will pick up to some point . Hang in there don't let the

disease get you Paget

[Guest guest]

Hi Rob----- sorry you are feeling so down. I know that feeling of the disease

wearing you down. I have no answers except I have been there and am just

coming out of that state. I too am a teacher and with the help of my parents

am taking the year off to see if somehow I can get better. I pray for both of

us that our energy will pick up to some point . Hang in there don't let the

disease get you Paget

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the kind words, they really do help. I hope your time off helps. I

will keep you in my prayers.

Thanks,

Rob

[Guest guest]

Tina,

I am *not* going to tell you to "snap out of it" because you have been through a few months of hell! Death of ONE parent is enough to deal with, but you have lost two in three months time. You changed jobs (I consider a stay-at-home mom a full-time job indeed!) and are preparing for major surgery. You are probably off-the-charts on the stress scale.

Right now you don't need someone to beat you up, in my opinion. I have a friend who is a psychologist, and he says that after the death of a close family member there are measurable changes in our bodies for up to a year, due to the grief! You need to surround yourself with people and situations that are nurturing. This is an ideal time to learn to nurture yourself in non-food ways. I have been learning that myself -- I have always "rewarded" myself with food, or taken care of myself with food. Now I am learning there are lots of other ways to "reward" myself and lots of other ways to take care of myself that don't have anything to do with food. It has been a hard lesson.

Nurturing can come in a lot of different forms. Gemello has posted some of the ways he nurtures himself, and I'm sure others will add to that as well. I bet if you sit down you can write a list of 10 ways you can nurture yourself without food. Okay, how about 5? I'll start:

1. Hot bath

2. Christmas music on the CD (I know Christmas is past - but I like it!)

3. Buy a new CD or DVD

4. Rent an old movie that I love and watch in on a rainy afternoon. Musicals are great for this! The King and I, My Fair Lady, Poppins, whatever. If you need to cry, rent a tear-jerker and go ahead! Tears are very therapeutic. Good tear jerkers: Anne of Green Gables, The Little Princess (the Shirley Temple one), Heidi (again, Shirley Temple), An Affair to Remember (the old one), It's a Wonderful Life, etc etc.

5. Go to church or Bible study.

6. Call a friend you haven't talked to for awhile

7. Splurge on some flowers at the florist or supermarket

8. Get some FIMO (clay that hardens when you bake it) and make some refrigerator magnets -- easy to do, and relaxing in a tactile sort of way. Or do another craft that you enjoy. Do you crochet/knit? Embroider? Decoupage? Get a head start on gifts for next Christmas.

9. Go to the library and spend an hour finding a really good book. I love to re-read favorites I loved as a child, "The Bobsey Twins," "The Secret Garden," "The Little Princess," "Island of the Blue Dolphins," "The Witch of Blackbird Pond," or " Plain and Tall." No one even looks twice when I check these books out of the library -- in fact, most comment that they loved those books when they were young too.10. Turn off all the lights and light some scented candles, or make a fire in the fireplace.

11. If you enjoy any form of exercise, go take one-session class. I took water aerobics today and LOVED being in the water. The pool was outside and it was freezing outside, but the pool was warm and welcoming.

Just some ideas!!! I'm anxious to hear what others do to nurture themselves in non-food ways.

And Tina, you hang in there -- you WILL lose the weight and you WILL have the surgery. Give yourself a little time to grieve and recover.

Laurie W.

Feeling Down

Hi all. I need to "vent" so I'm venting to you guys. Aren't you lucky? I'm feeling depressed. I see lots of people posting that by the time they met with their surgeon, they had already lost their 10%. I'm having a really really hard time losing weight. I'm struggling BIG TIME! My life has been a roller coaster ride since early September when my father passed away. A week after my father passed away, I got my approval letter (good news). Then I had some pretty stinky times at work and finally decided enough was enough and I turned in my notice. I decided to be a stay-at-home Mom (thanks Dad!) and although I'm absolutely loving it, it certainly is a different life. Then the holidays (and eating way too much) and then my Mom passing away last week. I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. I'm back on track and going through the motions but I still struggle daily. I'm being very "mindful" of what I eat and writing down everything that I eat. I think I need a swift kick in the butt and someone to tell me to SNAP OUT OF IT. Thanks for listening. One of these days I'm sure I'll get my 10% off but it is certainly taking way longer than I anticipated and certainly longer than I wanted.TinaPre-Op RichmondOnly down 10 pounds

[Guest guest]

Tina

First of all you have had some pretty major losses in your life in a

relatively short amount of time. Give yourself time to heal.

Second, the weight loss isnt a race, you will get there. Try to

focus on just one new change at a time. Then add another and another

until you are succeeding. Journal your feelings when you feel your

eating has taken control so you can see what triggers your eating

and come up with an alternative to deal with those emotions.

If you need a buddy, call me, email me whatever you need to do. I

will help you in any way I can. You are worth this battle and you

will be successful!!

Huggles

>

> Hi all. I need to " vent " so I'm venting to you guys. Aren't you

> lucky? I'm feeling depressed. I see lots of people posting that by

> the time they met with their surgeon, they had already lost their

> 10%. I'm having a really really hard time losing weight. I'm

> struggling BIG TIME! My life has been a roller coaster ride since

> early September when my father passed away. A week after my father

> passed away, I got my approval letter (good news). Then I had some

> pretty stinky times at work and finally decided enough was enough

and

> I turned in my notice. I decided to be a stay-at-home Mom (thanks

> Dad!) and although I'm absolutely loving it, it certainly is a

> different life. Then the holidays (and eating way too much) and

then

> my Mom passing away last week. I feel like I'm drowning sometimes.

> I'm back on track and going through the motions but I still

struggle

> daily. I'm being very " mindful " of what I eat and writing down

> everything that I eat. I think I need a swift kick in the butt and

> someone to tell me to SNAP OUT OF IT. Thanks for listening. One of

> these days I'm sure I'll get my 10% off but it is certainly taking

> way longer than I anticipated and certainly longer than I wanted.

>

> Tina

> Pre-Op Richmond

> Only down 10 pounds

[Guest guest]

Laurie --

Thank you so much for your kind words. You are right...I need to be

kind to myself and come up with a list of my own of ways I

can " reward " myself for positive things that I do. I ordered some spa

stuff for my jacuzzi tub I have in our bath (it hasn't been used in

awhile so it needs a good cleaning). I can hardly wait to put in the

bubble bath, turn out the lights, light a candle and listen to some

music. Thank you for reminding me of this wonderful reward. Renting a

good movie is a great one too. I feel like I need a good cry so maybe

I'll pop in Steel Magnolia's (one of my favorite movies) tonight

after everyone goes to bed or I'll get up when my hubby does and

watch it before the kids get out of bed. I haven't allowed myself to

grieve for my Mom at all. With my Dad, I cried and cried and cried.

When my sis called about my Mom, I barely shed a tear (although I am

now). She didn't know who anyone was for the past 2-3 years so I

guess I've been grieving for 3 years.

I feel a little better. Again, thank you!!

Tina

> Tina,

>

> I am *not* going to tell you to " snap out of it " because you have

been through a few months of hell! Death of ONE parent is enough to

deal with, but you have lost two in three months time. You changed

jobs (I consider a stay-at-home mom a full-time job indeed!) and are

preparing for major surgery. You are probably off-the-charts on the

stress scale.

>

> Right now you don't need someone to beat you up, in my opinion. I

have a friend who is a psychologist, and he says that after the death

of a close family member there are measurable changes in our bodies

for up to a year, due to the grief! You need to surround yourself

with people and situations that are nurturing. This is an ideal time

to learn to nurture yourself in non-food ways. I have been learning

that myself -- I have always " rewarded " myself with food, or taken

care of myself with food. Now I am learning there are lots of other

ways to " reward " myself and lots of other ways to take care of myself

that don't have anything to do with food. It has been a hard lesson.

>

> Nurturing can come in a lot of different forms. Gemello has posted

some of the ways he nurtures himself, and I'm sure others will add to

that as well. I bet if you sit down you can write a list of 10 ways

you can nurture yourself without food. Okay, how about 5? I'll

start:

>

> 1. Hot bath

> 2. Christmas music on the CD (I know Christmas is past - but I

like it!)

> 3. Buy a new CD or DVD

> 4. Rent an old movie that I love and watch in on a rainy

afternoon. Musicals are great for this! The King and I, My Fair

Lady, Poppins, whatever. If you need to cry, rent a tear-jerker

and go ahead! Tears are very therapeutic. Good tear jerkers: Anne

of Green Gables, The Little Princess (the Shirley Temple one), Heidi

(again, Shirley Temple), An Affair to Remember (the old one), It's a

Wonderful Life, etc etc.

> 5. Go to church or Bible study.

> 6. Call a friend you haven't talked to for awhile

> 7. Splurge on some flowers at the florist or supermarket

> 8. Get some FIMO (clay that hardens when you bake it) and make

some refrigerator magnets -- easy to do, and relaxing in a tactile

sort of way. Or do another craft that you enjoy. Do you

crochet/knit? Embroider? Decoupage? Get a head start on gifts for

next Christmas.

> 9. Go to the library and spend an hour finding a really good

book. I love to re-read favorites I loved as a child, " The Bobsey

Twins, " " The Secret Garden, " " The Little Princess, " " Island of the

Blue Dolphins, " " The Witch of Blackbird Pond, " or " Plain and

Tall. " No one even looks twice when I check these books out of the

library -- in fact, most comment that they loved those books when

they were young too.

> 10. Turn off all the lights and light some scented candles, or

make a fire in the fireplace.

> 11. If you enjoy any form of exercise, go take one-session

class. I took water aerobics today and LOVED being in the water.

The pool was outside and it was freezing outside, but the pool was

warm and welcoming.

>

> Just some ideas!!! I'm anxious to hear what others do to nurture

themselves in non-food ways.

>

> And Tina, you hang in there -- you WILL lose the weight and you

WILL have the surgery. Give yourself a little time to grieve and

recover.

>

>

> Laurie W.

>

>

> Feeling Down

>

>

>

> Hi all. I need to " vent " so I'm venting to you guys. Aren't you

> lucky? I'm feeling depressed. I see lots of people posting that

by

> the time they met with their surgeon, they had already lost their

> 10%. I'm having a really really hard time losing weight. I'm

> struggling BIG TIME! My life has been a roller coaster ride since

> early September when my father passed away. A week after my

father

> passed away, I got my approval letter (good news). Then I had

some

> pretty stinky times at work and finally decided enough was enough

and

> I turned in my notice. I decided to be a stay-at-home Mom (thanks

> Dad!) and although I'm absolutely loving it, it certainly is a

> different life. Then the holidays (and eating way too much) and

then

> my Mom passing away last week. I feel like I'm drowning

sometimes.

> I'm back on track and going through the motions but I still

struggle

> daily. I'm being very " mindful " of what I eat and writing down

> everything that I eat. I think I need a swift kick in the butt

and

> someone to tell me to SNAP OUT OF IT. Thanks for listening. One

of

> these days I'm sure I'll get my 10% off but it is certainly

taking

> way longer than I anticipated and certainly longer than I wanted.

>

> Tina

> Pre-Op Richmond

> Only down 10 pounds

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie,

I thought that your message to Tina was great. And, your mention (as

well as Gemello's) of nurturing certainly got me to thinking.

One of the things that I was doing for a while there was clothes

shopping . . . but I started being concerned that I was substituting

compulsive shopping for compulsive eating. So I've been trying to

concentrate on other ways to nurture myself.

Here's what I could come up with.

1. Support groups. Attending a support group nearly always leaves me

feeling really good. Some folks seem to find them a chore, possibly

because their program requires that they attend - but a good group can

be a delight and a great source of strength.

2. I put on some music . . . the sort that I can't sit still to . . .

and I dance. I know that I must look ridiculous. I don't know how to

dance. I don't move very well on these creaky old knees. But, it

feels so good to move.

3. I'll nestle under a blanket with a big mug of my favorite herbal

tea and a good book.

4. When it is dry and warm enough, I'll go play (some might call it

work) in my garden. My yard has been sadly neglected these past years,

and it makes me feel great when I start seeing the results of my

efforts. Just being out there by myself (except for my cats who always

come keep me company and amuse me with their antics), listening to the

birds, feeling the warmth of the sun, and noticing all the new life . .

.. well, it is a true lift for me.

There are some from your list that I also use.

5. A long, hot, scented soak in the bath.

6. Watching an old favorite movie.

7. A nice long call to a friend.

Thanks for getting me to think about this. Sometimes I lose track of

the need to nurture myself.

All the best,

Kay

in San Leandro

open RNY 12/1/03

Laurie W wrote:

Tina,

I am *not* going to tell you to "snap out of

it" because you have been through a few months of hell! Death of ONE

parent is enough to deal with, but you have lost two in three months

time. You changed jobs (I consider a stay-at-home mom a full-time job

indeed!) and are preparing for major surgery. You are probably

off-the-charts on the stress scale.

Right now you don't need someone to beat you

up, in my opinion. I have a friend who is a psychologist, and he says

that after the death of a close family member there are measurable

changes in our bodies for up to a year, due to the grief! You need to

surround yourself with people and situations that are nurturing. This

is an ideal time to learn to nurture yourself in non-food ways. I have

been learning that myself -- I have always "rewarded" myself with food,

or taken care of myself with food. Now I am learning there are lots of

other ways to "reward" myself and lots of other ways to take care of

myself that don't have anything to do with food. It has been a hard

lesson.

Nurturing can come in a lot of different

forms. Gemello has posted some of the ways he nurtures himself, and

I'm sure others will add to that as well. I bet if you sit down you

can write a list of 10 ways you can nurture yourself without food.

Okay, how about 5? I'll start:

1. Hot bath

2. Christmas music on the CD (I know

Christmas is past - but I like it!)

3. Buy a new CD or DVD

4. Rent an old movie that I love and watch

in on a rainy afternoon. Musicals are great for this! The King and I,

My Fair Lady, Poppins, whatever. If you need to cry, rent a

tear-jerker and go ahead! Tears are very therapeutic. Good tear

jerkers: Anne of Green Gables, The Little Princess (the Shirley Temple

one), Heidi (again, Shirley Temple), An Affair to Remember (the old

one), It's a Wonderful Life, etc etc.

5. Go to church or Bible study.

6. Call a friend you haven't talked to for

awhile

7. Splurge on some flowers at the florist

or supermarket

8. Get some FIMO (clay that hardens when

you bake it) and make some refrigerator magnets -- easy to do, and

relaxing in a tactile sort of way. Or do another craft that you

enjoy. Do you crochet/knit? Embroider? Decoupage? Get a head start

on gifts for next Christmas.

9. Go to the library and spend an hour

finding a really good book. I love to re-read favorites I loved as a

child, "The Bobsey Twins," "The Secret Garden," "The Little Princess,"

"Island of the Blue Dolphins," "The Witch of Blackbird Pond," or "

Plain and Tall." No one even looks twice when I check these books out

of the library -- in fact, most comment that they loved those books

when they were young too.

10. Turn off all the lights and light some scented candles, or make

a fire in the fireplace.

11. If you enjoy any form of exercise, go

take one-session class. I took water aerobics today and LOVED being in

the water. The pool was outside and it was freezing outside, but the

pool was warm and welcoming.

Just some ideas!!! I'm anxious to hear what

others do to nurture themselves in non-food ways.

And Tina, you hang in there -- you WILL lose

the weight and you WILL have the surgery. Give yourself a little time

to grieve and recover.

Laurie W.