Guest guest Posted November 9, 2004 Report Share Posted November 9, 2004 Eva, you are so right. I was just thinking about that yesterday that here in Florida the capital of handicapped parking spaces that people are more polite then in the northern states. Sorry all you northerner but that is what I have experienced. I have smiles instead of stares and more door openings, they notice you coming so they are ready to help....I really don't mind the attention I would do the same if I were " NORMAL: " ..............Flora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2004 Report Share Posted November 9, 2004 The only person that matters how we see ourselves is OURSELF!! What everyone else thinks doesn't matter, well, maybe your family...spouse, children, parents, etc...but even if they can't be positive about this...we can still try to be! Sue Me Wait. > There's more. Some folks will see you as a reminder of just how uncertain > their own lives are, and may react with fear and sometimes even hate. > Others may see you as an object to be pitied, rather than the person you > are. Some will see you as just a hinderance, or some burden to bear. Now > and again however, you run into folks that treat you like a human being, > and somehow that makes all the grim stuff bearable. > > Galen Hekhuis NpD, JFR, GWA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2004 Report Share Posted November 9, 2004 Wow Galen. You hit the nail squarely on the head yet again. Have you also noticed the geographic difference in people's reactions? When I travel to Florida where there seems to be more 'functioning' disables, I get less stares and more smiles. However when traveling through the Mid-west where 'survival of the fittest' is still the rule in the farmland, someone on a walker is like a two-headed cow. Eva in WV > Be nasty, crude and rude and they'll forget about that cane right > away...they'll be thinking what a jerk you are instead. Hey, at least you > won't be sticking out because of your mobility aid. > > Seriously, how many canes did you see today? I know I saw some, but I > can't tell you how many. It just doesn't register with most folks for very > long. For sure, if you are new to a device, you are sure everyone is > watching you use it. They aren't. > > One of the really neat things about this is never knowing how people will > react. And you thought being sick was enough on your plate. Wait. > There's more. Some folks will see you as a reminder of just how uncertain > their own lives are, and may react with fear and sometimes even hate. > Others may see you as an object to be pitied, rather than the person you > are. Some will see you as just a hinderance, or some burden to bear. Now > and again however, you run into folks that treat you like a human being, > and somehow that makes all the grim stuff bearable. > > Galen Hekhuis NpD, JFR, GWA ghekhuis@e... > Guns don't kill people, religions do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2004 Report Share Posted November 9, 2004 People always stare at me. Aside from the fact that I'm just naturally funny looking I also tend to frequent places gimps are not usually expected. I carry a kayak around in my van. People don't expect to see a guy with a cane horsing a kayak in and out of a van and they especially don't expect me to hobble out of the kayak, unfold my cane, and then do my funny walk to where the van is parked. I also have a bed built into the van, and I go camping a lot. Well, " car camping " is about the best I can do now, but I have a lot more in common with the tent-types than I do with the RVs. People just don't expect to find gimps in campgrounds. So, no, I haven't noticed a whole lot of difference in people's reactions geographically, but like I say, I'd be a particularly poor person to judge that. > > >Wow Galen. You hit the nail squarely on the head yet again. >Have you also noticed the geographic difference in people's reactions? > >When I travel to Florida where there seems to be more 'functioning' >disables, I get less stares and more smiles. However when traveling >through the Mid-west where 'survival of the fittest' is still the >rule in the farmland, someone on a walker is like a two-headed cow. >Eva in WV Galen Hekhuis NpD, JFR, GWA ghekhuis@... Guns don't kill people, religions do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2004 Report Share Posted November 10, 2004 Interesting, Flora. Yesterday, as I was limping home from the hair dresser's, thinking about the staring problem being discussed here, I passed a woman who appeared to be on my " wave-length " and decided to glance her way instead of keeping mt eyes averted, as I usually do. She smiled quickly, then called out " nice haircut " after she had passed. Way to go! I loved it! Sometimes I worry that passers-by and wish-to-passers will try to get involved with my condition by staring or asking, since I often do worse than limping--lurching and wobbling, and I don't use walking aides to indicate that this is a condition rather than a drunken stupor or temporary pain. I find that averting my eyes almost always works to avoid interference. I truly believe that staring back at someone observing us limping INVITES that person to get involved. Maybe we're about to ask for help and they want to indicate they're there for us. Averting my eyes also keeps me from knowing whether they're staring or not! It's possible that city people (I live in New York) have seen a lot of disabled people and aren't curious, also they don't expect to have any future involvement in my life, as might people in smaller towns passing me in the street. Anyway, try not looking back and see if that helps to avoid unwanted entanglements. Cheers to all, Mata > Eva, you are so right. I was just thinking about that yesterday that here > in Florida the capital of handicapped parking spaces that people are more > polite then in the northern states. Sorry all you northerner but that is what I > have experienced. I have smiles instead of stares and more door openings, > they notice you coming so they are ready to help....I really don't mind the > attention I would do the same if I were " NORMAL: " ..............Flora > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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