Re: i want to give up

[Guest guest]

Oh, sweetie, I do feel for you. I think it is critically important that you get

some professional counseling. Also, re-file for your disability. You gave up

too quickly, which is just what they wanted you to do. I know the situation

with your husband is causing you a lot more stress and pain. I don't really know

what to suggest about that right now, but if you could get counseling for

yourself then the counselor could give you some advice on that. There are

several government programmes you can use to get this care, I don't know where

you live, but there are usually agencies that will send you in the right

direction. You should also qualify for some sort of insurance, whether through

the state or medicaid would depend on your entire financial situation. You

really need to get busy and start looking for these resources. First of all, you

need them, and secondly it will give you a 'focus', something to work towards.

I think the first step would be to re-file for your disability. There are

people at the SS offices who might know what you can do in the interim, as far

as medical and things like food stamps, etc. There are also free clinics in

most places. You do need to get medical attention, if you aren't getting it

right now. There are meds, you didn't say if you were taking any right now.

Also, a fibro support group, not an on-line group, but one close to where you

live, could help a lot. You will be able to share things in a face-to-face

environment, and will be able to make some new friends. Some sort of social

network is so important. If there is nobody in your life right now who is

'there' for you, then look for some people who will be. I know this really

helps. Isolation is the worst thing for us.

I know you are crying out for help, but since I don't know the whole story, this

is the best I can come up with for now. Write with more detail if you are able.

There are lots of us in this group who are willing to help. Joining us was a

great first step. Keep it up by keeping in contact with us. You can rant, or ask

for information as well as hear our stories and know you aren't alone.

I hope some of this was of some help. We're here.

Peace and Love

Caroline

this fms is 19 yrs old and killing me now the ms and stress in my

marriage of less than 5 yrs just tops the cake.

so many doctors so much pain- no income disability says not blind

and too young and of course fms does not exised), no family support

they do not beleive it is real either, all the friends have

disappeared (it's always an exuse) but i know it is too much trouble

for them they are living good happy lives and don't want the bother.

the most painful thing is that my husband that i am so in love with

does not want me.

we have not had any sexual contact in 3 yrs and only a few before

that before the " iDo's everything was fine. i have never turned him

down he always sleeps on the couch saying he just fell asleep there

but will get up to use the rest room beside the bedroom and walk all

the way back to the couch. then he blames it on my son said he

accidently walked in on us. for the last years i gave up if he

wanted me he knew where i saw. now the excuse for yrs has been that

he can't fisically and never told me before the marriage that he was

losing all sexually desires. that hurt but what hurt more is that

he call sex chat lines and talks to other women all the time -

and " plays " with a girl at work

oh we are friends he says. he doesnt have any frinds no one comes to

our house. he leaves every morning at 5 and returns at 6pm. comes in

sits on the couch stairs at the news broadcasat even watches it two

or three times weird. eats and goes to sleep there is no comunication

i had to sell my beautiful home of 20+ years because i could no

longer work and it even came to seding my son to live with my ex

because i could not support him anymore he has now graduated high

school and happy- but he never comes around because he does not want

to seee me in pain i understand that it hurts him to see me sick .

but alone all day everyday only the walls to talk to and drs that

mostly sux i am just ready to go home. there are three reaseons to

live i once read in a christain text Love, something to do and

faith. i have lost alll of these. i'm at my wits end and tired of

being alone and in pain.

darlyn

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[Guest guest]

>

i did not give up on the disability claim i filed in sept of 2005

been denied first time because i was too young 46 and not blind

denied the second time well not denied my case was mistakenly closed

they noted that my date of insured was over and they had to close

it i call and proved and they agreed that they mad the mistale that

my dat of insured does not run out till 2012. but they would not

continue. so i got a lawyer he took it over at that point and they

saaid i would have await a court hearing to hear my disability claim

and the wait list is minimun 2 yrs i am not about 7 months into that

and have since been diagnosed with ms in addition to the fms.

i have been in prof. counseling for the past 2 years last month the

agency ran out of funds and my appointments were canceled. they are

looking for something else but nothing seem available.

biggest thing is that the person i married has and income that will

not allow me to get any local help food stamps-counciling -insurance-

income nothing. but they of course do not care that it is His money

not mine

he says he will pay for some of my meds and some dr visits i have to

chose only a few. he controlles his money. every thing is in my name

and all the furniture and live time of hard work earned me some nice

belongs to furnice the house we now stay in. tonight he said for me

to leave with nothing i get nothing not true be there again true

where will i go and how will i even be able to pick up a small box.

the shelters are not availabe for the disables and of the 10 or more

that i have contacted are not either.

What on this earth am I supposed to do?

so lost and tired

[Guest guest]

OK well, I'm not sure I can' advise very well on this since I've been borderline

suicidal myself frequently lately... but here goes.

First of all, the jerk you are married to has you right where he wants to.

Trapped and afraid. Don't let him convince you that you are powerless. Don't

let him make you leave. Call the police, they'll more than likely make him

leave because you are disabled. Go file for food stamps or whatever and tell

them the truth; he's basically abandoned you and won't give you a cent.

Also, try to think of it this way; stuff is stuff... your life is worth more

than stuff. Your house could burn down tomorrow and you'd have to go

somewhere. So try to devise a plan that way. I'm not sure what shelters you

have called, but try the abused women's shelters. His treatment of you is

abuse. I don't think they'd turn someone away because of a disability.

Angie

Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 5 cats, snow skiing,

camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers

member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

" It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

http://www.myspace.com/amkg

http://doripost.agrato.info/

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

Re: i want to give up

>

i did not give up on the disability claim i filed in sept of 2005

been denied first time because i was too young 46 and not blind

denied the second time well not denied my case was mistakenly closed

they noted that my date of insured was over and they had to close

it i call and proved and they agreed that they mad the mistale that

my dat of insured does not run out till 2012. but they would not

continue. so i got a lawyer he took it over at that point and they

saaid i would have await a court hearing to hear my disability claim

and the wait list is minimun 2 yrs i am not about 7 months into that

and have since been diagnosed with ms in addition to the fms.

i have been in prof. counseling for the past 2 years last month the

agency ran out of funds and my appointments were canceled. they are

looking for something else but nothing seem available.

biggest thing is that the person i married has and income that will

not allow me to get any local help food stamps-counciling -insurance-

income nothing. but they of course do not care that it is His money

not mine

he says he will pay for some of my meds and some dr visits i have to

chose only a few. he controlles his money. every thing is in my name

and all the furniture and live time of hard work earned me some nice

belongs to furnice the house we now stay in. tonight he said for me

to leave with nothing i get nothing not true be there again true

where will i go and how will i even be able to pick up a small box.

the shelters are not availabe for the disables and of the 10 or more

that i have contacted are not either.

What on this earth am I supposed to do?

so lost and tired

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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[Guest guest]

OK. I hope you read Angie's very good advice. Your husband IS obviously a jerk.

Can you tell me where you live? It really sucks that you would have a 2 year

wait, I've heard that some places do. Luckily for me, in AZ things seem to be

expedited much more quickly, although that doesn't mean they approve more

people. Your age should have nothing to do with it, I know people in their 20s

who are getting it, and they aren't blind either. (I also know several blind

people who don't get it, cause they have figured out how to work and can make a

lot more money from a job, BTW) I only get $629.00 a month right now, though I

understand I can get more once I turn 65, I think it is, but it probably won't

be a LOT more. I didn't qualify for SSDI since I spent so many years taking

care of my father and nothing was paid in to SS during those years, which really

sucks!!

Your husband needs someone to tell him loud and clear that you cannot pick and

choose your meds. You need all of them working together to be effective. You

also need to be able to keep all of your doctor's appointments. He also cannot

keep your belongings if you should decide to move out. He is just trying to keep

you 'cowed', you can't let him do this.

I hope you can find a new mental health facility soon, it helps a lot if you let

yourself be classified as SMI, which then makes you eligible for more government

programmes, including housing. It also helps with your disability claim,

especially if your case manager and psychologist will back up your claims to the

SSI people. Or SSDI, whichever one you are trying for. I have a friend who is

only 28 who is getting SSDI, and she gets the maximum, I can't remember exactly

what right now, but I think close to $2,000 each month. She was approved by

filing for mental illness, she is schitzophrenic, and actually had no choice in

being classified as SMI. In a way, she is sicker than any of us, she blows all

of her money on drugs and is always homeless, so it could be worse. She can't

even put enough back each month to pay for her reduced housing costs, and she

also gets help with utilites, but she still gets evicted every couple months.

At least we don't have to deal with that kind of stuff.

If your house or apartment is in your name, you could begin divorce proceedings,

then kick him out, which would then qualify you for state benefits. I think you

can get them rather quickly once you have proof that you have filed for divorce

and he is no longer in the home. I understand that you think you still love him,

but you need to love yourself more. If things are that bad, they probably will

never get better, and you are holding yourself back by hanging on to him. There

are also agencies that help with things like a month's rent and utilities. As I

said, make some phone calls. If you have a church, start there. If you don't,

there are some churches that help non-members too. You can just start calling

them to find out. A lot of them will also know which other agencies are

available to help out.

You can't go on living like this. Even though we don't know you, we still care.

And. please don't do anything foolish. I know how it feels to feel 'alone', but

you really aren't. Just hang in there, and do what you have to in order to find

the help you need. I swear, you can do it. Have faith, even though I know it's

really hard to do sometimes.

Peace and Love

Caroline

i did not give up on the disability claim i filed in sept of 2005

been denied first time because i was too young 46 and not blind

denied the second time well not denied my case was mistakenly closed

they noted that my date of insured was over and they had to close

it i call and proved and they agreed that they mad the mistale that

my dat of insured does not run out till 2012. but they would not

continue. so i got a lawyer he took it over at that point and they

saaid i would have await a court hearing to hear my disability claim

and the wait list is minimun 2 yrs i am not about 7 months into that

and have since been diagnosed with ms in addition to the fms.

i have been in prof. counseling for the past 2 years last month the

agency ran out of funds and my appointments were canceled. they are

looking for something else but nothing seem available.

biggest thing is that the person i married has and income that will

not allow me to get any local help food stamps-counciling -insurance-

income nothing. but they of course do not care that it is His money

not mine

he says he will pay for some of my meds and some dr visits i have to

chose only a few. he controlles his money. every thing is in my name

and all the furniture and live time of hard work earned me some nice

belongs to furnice the house we now stay in. tonight he said for me

to leave with nothing i get nothing not true be there again true

where will i go and how will i even be able to pick up a small box.

the shelters are not availabe for the disables and of the 10 or more

that i have contacted are not either.

What on this earth am I supposed to do?

so lost and tired

____________________________________________________________

FREE 3D EARTH SCREENSAVER - Watch the Earth right on your desktop!

Check it out at http://www.crawler.com/earth

[Guest guest]

You have found love here and you have reached out in faith. Take life

one moment at a time...close your eyes...and breathe. There is

something about this world that you still love or you wouldn't be here

now. Be proud that you have made it this far despite the odds. Give

yourself a hug...that is one thing we can't do over the internet yet ; )

Do you have a doctor that you can truly trust? Share what you need

with him/her...everything...and ask them about local resources.

I hope this helps @}-

>

> there are three reaseons to

> live i once read in a christain text Love, something to do and

> faith. i have lost alll of these. i'm at my wits end and tired of

> being alone and in pain.

> darlyn

>

[Guest guest]

My hubby actually tried that stuff on me with the " it is his money, cause he

makes it, bs " to taking me off the bank account and having to ask him for money

everytime I needed to go to the store, etc. Cutting me off from seeing the bills

or knowing our financial situation. Do not let him control you in this way. He

teach people how to treat us. By being submissive to his abuse, you are allowing

it. I started divorce proceedings on mine and he smartened up real quick. though

we did not divorce, he had to make changes in order for us to remain married.

there should be legal help in your area that is free. Please take care of you.

If a shelter is needed, then go. they will help you get on your feet. I am here

for you anytime.

Hugs,

Angie wrote:

OK well, I'm not sure I can' advise very well on this since I've been

borderline suicidal myself frequently lately... but here goes.

First of all, the jerk you are married to has you right where he wants to.

Trapped and afraid. Don't let him convince you that you are powerless. Don't let

him make you leave. Call the police, they'll more than likely make him leave

because you are disabled. Go file for food stamps or whatever and tell them the

truth; he's basically abandoned you and won't give you a cent.

Also, try to think of it this way; stuff is stuff... your life is worth more

than stuff. Your house could burn down tomorrow and you'd have to go somewhere.

So try to devise a plan that way. I'm not sure what shelters you have called,

but try the abused women's shelters. His treatment of you is abuse. I don't

think they'd turn someone away because of a disability.

Angie

Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 5 cats, snow skiing,

camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers

member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

" It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

http://www.myspace.com/amkg

http://doripost.agrato.info/

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

Re: i want to give up

>

i did not give up on the disability claim i filed in sept of 2005

been denied first time because i was too young 46 and not blind

denied the second time well not denied my case was mistakenly closed

they noted that my date of insured was over and they had to close

it i call and proved and they agreed that they mad the mistale that

my dat of insured does not run out till 2012. but they would not

continue. so i got a lawyer he took it over at that point and they

saaid i would have await a court hearing to hear my disability claim

and the wait list is minimun 2 yrs i am not about 7 months into that

and have since been diagnosed with ms in addition to the fms.

i have been in prof. counseling for the past 2 years last month the

agency ran out of funds and my appointments were canceled. they are

looking for something else but nothing seem available.

biggest thing is that the person i married has and income that will

not allow me to get any local help food stamps-counciling -insurance-

income nothing. but they of course do not care that it is His money

not mine

he says he will pay for some of my meds and some dr visits i have to

chose only a few. he controlles his money. every thing is in my name

and all the furniture and live time of hard work earned me some nice

belongs to furnice the house we now stay in. tonight he said for me

to leave with nothing i get nothing not true be there again true

where will i go and how will i even be able to pick up a small box.

the shelters are not availabe for the disables and of the 10 or more

that i have contacted are not either.

What on this earth am I supposed to do?

so lost and tired

__________________________________________________________

Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you

with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile.yahoo.com/sports;_ylt=At9_qDKvtAbMuh1G1SQtBI7ntAcJ

[Guest guest]

My hubby actually tried that stuff on me with the " it is his money, cause he

makes it, bs " to taking me off the bank account and having to ask him for money

everytime I needed to go to the store, etc. Cutting me off from seeing the bills

or knowing our financial situation. Do not let him control you in this way. He

teach people how to treat us. By being submissive to his abuse, you are allowing

it. I started divorce proceedings on mine and he smartened up real quick. though

we did not divorce, he had to make changes in order for us to remain married.

there should be legal help in your area that is free. Please take care of you.

If a shelter is needed, then go. they will help you get on your feet. I am here

for you anytime.

Hugs,

Angie wrote:

OK well, I'm not sure I can' advise very well on this since I've been

borderline suicidal myself frequently lately... but here goes.

First of all, the jerk you are married to has you right where he wants to.

Trapped and afraid. Don't let him convince you that you are powerless. Don't let

him make you leave. Call the police, they'll more than likely make him leave

because you are disabled. Go file for food stamps or whatever and tell them the

truth; he's basically abandoned you and won't give you a cent.

Also, try to think of it this way; stuff is stuff... your life is worth more

than stuff. Your house could burn down tomorrow and you'd have to go somewhere.

So try to devise a plan that way. I'm not sure what shelters you have called,

but try the abused women's shelters. His treatment of you is abuse. I don't

think they'd turn someone away because of a disability.

Angie

Carson City, NV; Single, five children (3 at home), 2 dogs, 5 cats, snow skiing,

camping, Harley Rider, Lone Wolf, Blue Thong Society/High Sierra Thong Snappers

member, LFA Advocate, independent, opinionated, outspoken, and open minded.

" It's always something. " ~~~Gilda Radner

http://360.yahoo.com/lovinglifeinnv

http://www.myspace.com/amkg

http://doripost.agrato.info/

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592316375

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LupusSurvivorsU/

Re: i want to give up

>

i did not give up on the disability claim i filed in sept of 2005

been denied first time because i was too young 46 and not blind

denied the second time well not denied my case was mistakenly closed

they noted that my date of insured was over and they had to close

it i call and proved and they agreed that they mad the mistale that

my dat of insured does not run out till 2012. but they would not

continue. so i got a lawyer he took it over at that point and they

saaid i would have await a court hearing to hear my disability claim

and the wait list is minimun 2 yrs i am not about 7 months into that

and have since been diagnosed with ms in addition to the fms.

i have been in prof. counseling for the past 2 years last month the

agency ran out of funds and my appointments were canceled. they are

looking for something else but nothing seem available.

biggest thing is that the person i married has and income that will

not allow me to get any local help food stamps-counciling -insurance-

income nothing. but they of course do not care that it is His money

not mine

he says he will pay for some of my meds and some dr visits i have to

chose only a few. he controlles his money. every thing is in my name

and all the furniture and live time of hard work earned me some nice

belongs to furnice the house we now stay in. tonight he said for me

to leave with nothing i get nothing not true be there again true

where will i go and how will i even be able to pick up a small box.

the shelters are not availabe for the disables and of the 10 or more

that i have contacted are not either.

What on this earth am I supposed to do?

so lost and tired

__________________________________________________________

Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you

with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile.yahoo.com/sports;_ylt=At9_qDKvtAbMuh1G1SQtBI7ntAcJ

[Guest guest]

>

what is SMI? i live in nc right outside of charlotte, even the

shelters in charlotte are so full that they are calling me an out of

towner and they are not let anyone in that is. the womens abuse

shelter is full here locally and i have talked to them several times

i could only stay for 3 days and then what? I called a lawyer about

a divorce and alimony but they want money , money that i do not have

i do have a car, but the heater is broken in it and it is $700 to

get fixed the cold as you know makes the pain worse. i have even

thought of just driving but with the fms and ms i am not a good

driver anymore my eyes go out and mess up, i do not drive more than

a mile away now to the post office because i do not want to endanger

others.

I can't go on living like this, i get so mad even at God why did he

make me an artist and then take away my ability to use my arms.

I have tryed taking anti depression meds over 15 different kinds,

but they actually make me depressed and have really bad thoughts.

Some i have had my throat swell shut, rashes. it seems hopeless.

i do go to a pain center and they give me loratab 10/500 and ambian

i still can not sleep and I know that is making matters worse

(staring at the walls) but the other does help with the pain if I do

not try to over do it.

the church here does give out some food, but i do not get anyother

help without them asking for my husbands income, i wish i could just

lie about it.

Did i say thank you all for listening I do need you. Thank you.

he is at work or where ever right now and when he pulls up i have

the worse panic attacks i can't breath and I have Copd i take Ativan

when i think he may be coming in sometime that does not even work.

Thursday my Neurologist made the statement that he is actually

making me sick Ido believe this He pour clorox and deodorant sprays

everywhere that sent me into evil flairs. he knows what i anm

sensitive to, but he plays stupid or actually is! and does it

anywhay then says i did some cleaning for you.

When he gets a chance he steals my pain meds all to often heis knees

or back hurts or he says i pay for it or just lies - if i say please

go to the dr. and get help he screams stop preaching at me. If our

marriage really meant anything to him he would go to see about the

ED there is so much available for men now I've even made an

appointment for him and that was worse that murder.

I understand that things are just things and i do want to just walk

away but the thought of giving him anything makes me sick. he truly

desearves nothing. That is what he came in with and how it should

end.

Any one live around here I need a friend. And mostly to be a friend

I miss that.

I'm sorry to go on and bother ya'll we all are in the same boat with

the fibro.

I am just losing it bad

Darlyn

> ____________________________________________________________

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