You may or may not believe what I will tell you'all!

[Guest guest]

Hello again,

I think I mention before that my wife (Kathy) and daughter (Reba) started awile back newspaper routes in the Grand Rapids area where we live. Well if I didn't before, well I saying now. There's 3 of them all in close proximly to each other in the city of Kentwood, Mich which is an surburb in southeastern part of metro Grand Rapids. By the way Grand Rapids is the second largest population in Michigan. Yesterday I went to dropoff site for papers in the residencial area and they were not there at the time.

While I was waiting I noticed a small white cloud that was approaching from somewhat from the northeastern direction. The cloud disapated some and formed a cross shape of the remaining cloud vapor. I was thinking imediately of cross that Jesus was on at time. Then this cloud vapor shaped into somewhat a shape of the letter "E". What came to my mind right away was eternal life and the word "everyone" what the symbol of the cross represents. Then this cloud vapor shaped to the letter "C". Granted these shaped weren't perfect like anyone would do writing say on paper, but you still could make the shapes. This letter "C" started me thinking right when this happen as of Jesus cared for me even though there were no one in the etire world did. Which I do know there is.

Yes you may believe this what I stated previously or not. I know though that if I took poly-

graph tests known also as lie decector tests of say 100 Trillium a day for rest of eternity I would past every one of them. I never stated before that I was brought up to know what a christian is. There maybe some in this group that believe in God and so forth. As far as this, yes I have been a phony, hpercrite whatever. A part of what has fueled my symptoms of Peptic Ulcer Disease is stress, but also anger in my life for nonsense that has happen and as having anger towards God for the struggles I went through.

See alot of this is contributating facters in these depress thoughts. Sometimes my mis-

takes is because bad judgement. Regardless of one way or another like me or any one else in the world mistakes or nonmistakes it just free will or free choices decisions.

When these papers were dropped off, I noticed on headline on the front page what a man did and this was free will decision he did.

9-11-04, saturday

I didn't have enought time finishing what I writing yesterday because when you are these computers at the Wyoming city library who are only alloted 90 minutes per day. Granted I not as fast typing as years ago (up to 45wpm).

Now to above what this man did. I lived in the Grand Rapids, Michigan area like I stated previously. Grand Rapids metro area has a population of about 600,000. This man lives in Holland, Michigan. That area is considered more conservitive population this area. None-

thenless this moron (I'am trying to be calm and write my thoughts civilitly-mispelled) lured this neighbor girl which they were aquiantances to supposely to a swimming party. This girl name is Taira I believed, she was 12 years old but had a mental coppasity of 8 years old. They said on news she was bi-polar and was developmently disable. Anyway I don't know all the facts about this, but the bottom line of this he lured this girl and some-

time that night killed her.

This guy supposely has a crimmial record. The police and people in society for years and years tell kids, and adults that don't talk to strangers or ride with them in their car. But this is a situation involving someone the family members knew. This guy is no different and will answer to God someday about this just like everyone else in the history of this planet. Michigan does not have the death penality for felonies. Federal crime yes such as done on a Federal Forrest Land. This is not the first time nor the last time something like this happen. There maybe some people who read about would think it would be "too good of a thing" what this guy did to this girl that it would happen to him in prision someday. Oh the human nature that is part of me as thought of alot worse than what I just stated.

You all don't know me personally other reading these e-mails that I written. With all the "garbage" that has happen in my life and feeling depressed because of low self-esteem and facing medical problems, I still don't like what happen to this girl nor what happen to those kids and adults in Russia recently. My daughter is already 25 years old and I don't have young kids running around getting in mischief. However, even I have somewhat up-

setting thoughts to my brothers and one sister-in-law doesn't mean this affects their kids. Dale and Barbara's two sons are 9years old and 6years old. Mark and 's three daughters are a 14years old, 11years old, and 5years old. So anyway I have nephews and nieces that very well be the ages of kids you may have.

I rather risk my life and die if need be to prevent something to kids, including yours if you have any. I know I'am not perfect and claim to be one. Well out of time now, gotta sign out.

Bye,

tiodaat@... wrote:

thinks this perherial neuropathy that I'am having is from sarcoid. , Peripherial neuropathy, small nerve fiber neuropathy is very common with sarcoidosis. One of the meds they can use to help is "Neurontin." Many of us are on it. Usually we started at a low dose and work up to 1500 to 3000 mgs a day. I take 1200 to 1500mg a day, and can only take 2- 100mg at a time. Without it, my skin feels like it's on fire-- with just the air touching it.As far as the discussion about suicide-- I am sorry that so many people in your life don't see the value in you. That is so hurtful. -- you are the one in control of "how you see you." Everytime you get put down-- tell yourself that that is not true. Everytime you find yourself going into this space of

"self-worthlessness" tell yourself that that is an incorrect thought. All of us-- even tho we've lost our jobs, are sick and disabled, are still very worthy people. WE ARE LOVING, CARING, USEFULL PEOPLE. With chronic illness, our path changes so dramatically. The "script" we had written for our life path changes. Who we thought we'd be changes. It takes more strength, more courage to get up every day, get dressed, fix a meal, walk to the mailbox-- than any healthy person will ever know. WE ARE SO VERY COURAGEOUS. It is this courage that we can share with the world. Sincerely,Tracie ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityNS CHAT:- Has been cancelled for now.Message Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of

locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database