Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 This is so true of today where we drive ourselves nuts trying to pacify everyones feelings, can't have humor anymore, someone may be offended, can't say certain things, even in fun, someone may take it seriously. I say crap!!!! suck it up and get over it. Ardie Fw: Holiday Luncheon Memo >Date: Sat, 20 Dec 2003 08:50:33 -0700 > > > > Holiday luncheon memo > > > December 1st > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > I'm happy to inform you that the company > > Christmas Party will take place on December > > 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will > > be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band > > playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing > > along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows > > up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas > > tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be > > done at that time; however, no gift should be over > $10. > > Merry Christmas to you and your family. > > > > Patty > > Human Resources Director > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 2nd > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > In no way was yesterday's memo intended to > > exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that > > Hanukkah is an important holiday that often > coincides with > > Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). > However, > > from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." > The same > > policy applies to employees who are celebrating > Kwanzaa > > at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and > no Christmas > > carols sung. > > Happy Holidays to you and your family > > > > Patty > > Human Resources Director > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 3rd > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > Regarding the anonymous note I received from > > member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a > > non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this > > > request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on > the table > > that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous > > anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts > exchange-- > > no gifts will be allowed since the union members > feel > > that $10 is too much money. > > > > Patty > > Human Researchers Director > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 7th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous > > > to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and > pregnant women > > closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit > with each > > other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay > men; each > > will have their own table. Yes, there will be a > flower arrangement > > for the gay men's table. > > Happy now? > > > > Patty > > Human Racehorses Director > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 9th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > People, people -- nothing sinister was intended > > by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if > the > > anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," > there > > is no evil connotation to our own "little man in > a red suit." > > > > Patty > > Human Ratraces > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 10th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! > > We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open > Pit > > whether you like it or not, you can just sit at > the > > table farthest from the "grill of death," as you > put it, > > and you'll get salad bar only, including > hydroponic tomatoes. > > But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They > > scream when you slice them. I've heard them > scream. > > I'm hearing them right now... Ha! > > I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk > > > and die, you hear me? > > > > The Bitch from Hell > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 14th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty > > > a speedy recovery from her stress-related > illness. I'll > > continue to forward your cards to her at the > sanitarium. > > In the meantime, management has decided to cancel > > > our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon > > > of the 23rd off with full pay. > > > > Terri Bishop > > Acting Human Resources Director > > Get dial-up Internet access now with our best offer: 6 months @$9.95/month! --- Joe Hatvick --- pjhatvick@... --- EarthLink: The #1 provider of the Real Internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 That sounds like a company and people who can not be happy even if the party was for them..lol Carol Fw: Holiday Luncheon Memo >Date: Sat, 20 Dec 2003 08:50:33 -0700 > > > > Holiday luncheon memo > > > December 1st > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > I'm happy to inform you that the company > > Christmas Party will take place on December > > 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will > > be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band > > playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing > > along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows > > up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas > > tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be > > done at that time; however, no gift should be over > $10. > > Merry Christmas to you and your family. > > > > Patty > > Human Resources Director > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 2nd > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > In no way was yesterday's memo intended to > > exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that > > Hanukkah is an important holiday that often > coincides with > > Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). > However, > > from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." > The same > > policy applies to employees who are celebrating > Kwanzaa > > at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and > no Christmas > > carols sung. > > Happy Holidays to you and your family > > > > Patty > > Human Resources Director > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 3rd > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > Regarding the anonymous note I received from > > member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a > > non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this > > > request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on > the table > > that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous > > anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts > exchange-- > > no gifts will be allowed since the union members > feel > > that $10 is too much money. > > > > Patty > > Human Researchers Director > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 7th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous > > > to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and > pregnant women > > closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit > with each > > other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay > men; each > > will have their own table. Yes, there will be a > flower arrangement > > for the gay men's table. > > Happy now? > > > > Patty > > Human Racehorses Director > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 9th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > People, people -- nothing sinister was intended > > by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if > the > > anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," > there > > is no evil connotation to our own "little man in > a red suit." > > > > Patty > > Human Ratraces > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 10th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! > > We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open > Pit > > whether you like it or not, you can just sit at > the > > table farthest from the "grill of death," as you > put it, > > and you'll get salad bar only, including > hydroponic tomatoes. > > But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They > > scream when you slice them. I've heard them > scream. > > I'm hearing them right now... Ha! > > I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk > > > and die, you hear me? > > > > The Bitch from Hell > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > December 14th > > > > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES > > > > I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty > > > a speedy recovery from her stress-related > illness. I'll > > continue to forward your cards to her at the > sanitarium. > > In the meantime, management has decided to cancel > > > our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon > > > of the 23rd off with full pay. > > > > Terri Bishop > > Acting Human Resources Director > > Get dial-up Internet access now with our best offer: 6 months @$9.95/month! --- Joe Hatvick --- pjhatvick@... --- EarthLink: The #1 provider of the Real Internet. "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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