Guest guest Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 Oh man .. I loved this!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 Elaine - - Consider your name from this moment on to legally be changed to Santa. NOW - I want my gifts as promised, and I want them NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs - a If I were ol' Santa If I Were Ol' Santa... If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do? I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you, And deliver some things just inside your front door- Things you have lost, but treasured before. I'd give back to you all your maidenly vigor, And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. Then restore the old color that once graced your hair Before rinses and bleaches took residence there. I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted So things now suspended need not be uplifted. I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back Till you'd be a dream in those tight-fitting slacks. I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells, And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. No sore, aching feet and no corns on your toes, No searching for glasses when they're right on your nose. Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny. You'd never have headaches, no pills would you take, And no heating pad needed, since your muscles won't ache.Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid. You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid. I'd give a lift to your heart when wolves start to whistle. And the cares of your heart would be light as a thistle. But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me; The matronest of matrons you ever did see. I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got, But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere: Merry Christmas to you, and a Happy New Year HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY SEASON!! "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 Now a you know that Santa only comes to GOOD little girls on Christmas Eve night. So I suggest you go to bed early and dream of the gifts you want to receive. Elaine If I were ol' Santa If I Were Ol' Santa... If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do? I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you, And deliver some things just inside your front door- Things you have lost, but treasured before. I'd give back to you all your maidenly vigor, And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. Then restore the old color that once graced your hair Before rinses and bleaches took residence there. I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted So things now suspended need not be uplifted. I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back Till you'd be a dream in those tight-fitting slacks. I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells, And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. No sore, aching feet and no corns on your toes, No searching for glasses when they're right on your nose. Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny. You'd never have headaches, no pills would you take, And no heating pad needed, since your muscles won't ache.Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid. You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid. I'd give a lift to your heart when wolves start to whistle. And the cares of your heart would be light as a thistle. But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me; The matronest of matrons you ever did see. I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got, But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere: Merry Christmas to you, and a Happy New Year HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY SEASON!! "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 Maybe so Elaine - - But to those of us with a more twisted nature he comes on the 23rd or the 26th because he just can't help himself. Good ol' Santa!! Hugs- a > Now a you know that Santa only comes to GOOD little girls on Christmas Eve night. So I suggest you go to bed early and dream of the gifts you want to receive. > > Elaine > If I were ol' Santa > > > > If I Were Ol' Santa... > > If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do? > I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you, > And deliver some things just inside your front door- > Things you have lost, but treasured before. > > I'd give back to you all your maidenly vigor, > And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. > Then restore the old color that once graced your hair > Before rinses and bleaches took residence there. > > I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted > So things now suspended need not be uplifted. > I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back > Till you'd be a dream in those tight-fitting slacks. > > I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin > So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. > You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells, > And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. > > No sore, aching feet and no corns on your toes, > No searching for glasses when they're right on your nose. > Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny > From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny. > > You'd never have headaches, no pills would you take, > And no heating pad needed, since your muscles won't ache. > Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid. > You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid. > > I'd give a lift to your heart when wolves start to whistle. > And the cares of your heart would be light as a thistle. > But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me; > The matronest of matrons you ever did see. > > I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got, > But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. > Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere: > Merry Christmas to you, and a Happy New Year > HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY SEASON!! > > > > " The LUPIES Store " Come check out our store... > http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies > > " The LUPIES Web Page " > http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html > > " The LUPIES online photo albums! " > Check out what your fellow Lupies look like... > http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=lupies > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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