Re: Re: Home for the holidays/ Giant failure rant

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Hi ladies. I have been lurking forever but saw these two posts and had to reply. I too saw some pics from Christmas day of myself and it made me feel horrible. I always seem to look a lot worse in pics than when I look at myself in the mirror. I just could not believe how HUGE I looked. I am really hoping to get pass this because now I don't even want to step outside of my house. ~Raina~Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TDate: Sun, 27 Dec 2009 05:09:21 -0000To: <IntuitiveEating_Support >Subject: Re: Home for the holidays/ Giant failure rant , you are really, really, really not alone. I had a horrible picture experience on Christmas too. o_o Very very upsetting to see those pics. Someone here pointed out that we are our own worst critics and I agree.BUT I want to stop you and have you think about something. You worry you're not the person your boyfriend met b/c you've gained weight. Yet, so has he. Meanwhile, the more you worry about how he sees you, the more he eats. I wanted to point out to you that this has been my very cycle for years, but with my husband. When you said " bait and switch " that's EXACTLY how I think of my situation too even though I didn't do it on purpose! And neither did you.But listen. You're worried about how your b/f sees you *even though he too has gained weight*. I worry about how my DH sees me *even though he too has gained weight* (from 205 to 245). Um. Hello?*What makes THEIR weight gain acceptable, just a part of life, something that's probably easily fixable, etc.* but our weight gain *none of these things...and instead an evil " bait and switch " *?I just think you should think about this question. And so should I. Are you so sure it will be that easy for your BF to just drop a few pounds? If it were easy to drop pounds here and there then NONE of us would be here on this forum. My DH too has wanted to drop the extra " few " pounds, 40 of them. For 7 years. I mean come on, hon. *We are all people and we are all the same*. What we are doing to ourselves psychologically over this is unfair.>> I apologize for the following post but I am visiting my family and the constant diet banter, my uncontrollable eating, and my weight gain has put me at the end of my rope.> > I received new camera lenses for Christmas and have been taking a lot of pictures and letting people take pictures of me. It is absolutely horrifying. I had managed to lose 60 pounds two years ago and I have regained nearly 30 pounds of it. It's great to have good self esteem and feel good about yourself and all but I don't. I am really unhappy and frustrated. I am not as pretty as I was and although he tries not to let on, I know my boyfriend doesn't think so either. I have failed at keeping my weight at at the level I sacrificed so much for to obtain. He has never known the fat me and it's unfair of me to expect him to love the fat me. Bait and switch. I hated being fat and I'm having trouble watching my weight climb.> > I've had ED problems in the past and so my doc/psych/nutritionist have told me not to diet but I'm at the end of my rope. For the last 2 months IE has completely not worked at all. I am still binging uncontrollably (although I'm not restricting heavily which is good from an IE/mental health standpoint but which means that my calorie intake is always net positive). To top it off, my parents have been on these calorie counting diets successfully for two years and so this whole vacation has been a constant reminder about how they're eating " bad " food and how they will soon be back to only " salads and fiber bars " . My boyfriend has gained weight since he has known me and wants to go on a diet. I guess I'm going to need to eat less if I want to be happy. I do not want to gain any more weight. I don't know what other choice I have.> > Thanks for listening to me; I can't really talk to anyone around me. And if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.> ~>