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Today's thoughts on IE

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Yesterday I refrained from going out to social atmosphere because all the

clothes I have for going out do not fit right. I knew that if I went out with

those clothes - I would feel that I have to go on a diet. So I didn't go out.

I made a phone call to a friend instead to tell her about what i was feeling. I

started rereading parts of the IE book and came across Principle 10 - which

speaks about Gentle Nutrition. 90% nutrition and 10% play food. This morning I

decided to get on the scale to face the " number " . It was about 20 pounds more

than my " starving " diet number. Surpisingly it did not depress me. Instead I

realized that I can choose to eat healthy - waiting for my hunger honoring it-

stopping when I am satisfied and if the desire for play food comes into the

picture - first see if there is something that can substitute that won't make me

feel deprived butif not to go ahead and eat it and challenge the food police. I

believe that I had to go through the stage of making peace with food to see that

I can stop. Also I had to give up the diet mentality. I do not need to starve

to get to a number on the scale - I can eat healthy - do my exercise to feel

good about myself -not beat myself up if I eat something higher in calories - go

out to restaurants and enjoy myself. I know that I don't feel good with these

extra 15 pounds. I know that i hated my body 20 pounds ago and could not accept

it unless I was at that exact number. So now I am working on getting to like my

body as it is now but at the same time understand that physically I do not feel

good at this weight. I started this journey because I googled - How can I stop

hating my body - and found that the way to that is by IE. Which makes complete

sense. It puts me in control of myself. Not some outside source. It takes

alot of being in the present to work this process. (of course it used to sound

easier to just go and join a diet club - but now I know as I did then - that

that made things worse for me.

Diane

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