Guest guest Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 It sounds like you are working on the same "muscle" as I am. ANXIETY, and yes it's mostly imagined and overblown on my part as well.... Only I'm getting worked up over the possibility of silly little things not getting done. My marriage counselor taught me how do breathe in deeply through my nose, hold it for 3 seconds, then let the air out my mouth slowly. After a cycle of 3-4 sets, I usually let out a huge yawn, which is a sign that I'm getting my oxygen back to normal. THEN if I sit with it - I can avoid a binge. My problem is that I still CHOOSE to binge sometimes, but it usually works for me. Let me know if it helps you... ; ^} KnoblochSent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from U.S. CellularFrom: styxia@...Date: Tue, 12 May 2009 13:10:00 +0200To: Intuitive Eating<IntuitiveEating_Support >; Food and Feelings<foodandfeelings >Subject: Wanting to Binge I think this might be more of a rant than anything. So if you don't want to read my whining, stop here. --- For the last days I felt a strong urge to binge. Especially after going to bed and wathcing a bit of TV and reading a bit. The urge to binge creeps up since DAYS. Wasn't resisting these urges supposed to come easier with time? You know, when tat " emotional muscle " gets trained? Well, this morning this muscle is totally exhausted and after having some disturbing thoughts this morning I gave in and had a binge. I feel very confused and disappointed right now. I feel so scared of everything right now. Looking for a job, writing my disertation. I feel like a failure. I fear the possible rejection. Yes, yes... completely irrational, I know... However, these feelings are overriding me since weeks. The pressure is raising, the feeling of not being good enough, too. I feel depressed, scared and can't enjoy my leisure time. Shoulds and musts wherever I look. It's not that I knew that this pressure and anxiety would get more and more... and yet... I acted like a fool again and procrastinated. Shit ShitShitSHIT Why do I always do these things? (Or don't do the things I need to do?) Thanks for reading. s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 > >The urge to binge [has been coming on for] DAYS. > > Wasn't resisting these urges supposed to come easier with time? You > know, when tat " emotional muscle " gets trained? It seems to me that you feel you MUST RESIST urges, especially binges. This sounds way too much like a RULE and it does not surprise me one bit that you are rebelling (urges increase). Maybe if you could embrace the urge feeling and seek to understand what is DRIVING it, then you could more successfully deal with what is the real underlying cause for you to eat when you are not hungry. I get this sense of something inside of you BURSTing to get OUT! And you are fighting against that with all your strength. What that is, is not as important as the need for it to come 'out' for/from you. This could be a huge and scary 'thing' or perhaps you will find it only seems that way because it has 'grown' so 'big' in your mind that you fear you will be destroyed by it? Allowing this monster to get out could be a powerful event. And one that you are well advised to prepare yourself for so that you can not only 'survive' this event, but also come away from it cleansed and re-newed. I would even go so far as to create a setting and 'script' for this much like a stage play? Include any meaningful and helpful people who you trust and are able to 'play' along with you. Or just visualize such a thing in your mind. BEST WISHES and strong support that you can and will succeed with this important break through!! Lots of hugs - Katcha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Katcha, what a wonderful an intuitive reply. I sometimes feel worried that I will be stepping on toes since I'm technically a newbie, but as I mentioned, I have made IE a way of life for myself for almost 3 decades (I really hate writing it that way - it makes me sound old and I don't feel old!), so I do have some successes and things to share regarding these types of things. Many years ago when I started, it was the scariest thing to give myself permission to go ahead and eat when these binge moments happened, but the most important things for me were permission and forgiveness. Of course, I would try not to do it, but if it happened, it was OK. I was not a bad person, and it was not the end of the world. The more I gave myself the OK, the less interested I became in binges, and quite frankly, the less power they had. I can honestly say that I haven't had a binge in years and years and years, and I know I probably never will in the sense of the word because I am allowed to have one if I want to! I understand the fear is if you say it is ok, then all H*** will break loose, but in fact, it doesn't. It definitely helps to have that journal nearby, and if you can't journal your way out of it, at least it will be there to make sense of it later. I also think one of the reasons we binge is because of that denial factor. That's why making it OK is so helpful. You did the best you could with what you had at the time, but just tuck it away in the past. We've all been there and understand!{{{{{hugs}}}}} > >The urge to binge [has been coming on for] DAYS. > > Wasn't resisting these urges supposed to come easier with time? You > know, when tat " emotional muscle " gets trained? It seems to me that you feel you MUST RESIST urges, especially binges. This sounds way too much like a RULE and it does not surprise me one bit that you are rebelling (urges increase). Maybe if you could embrace the urge feeling and seek to understand what is DRIVING it, then you could more successfully deal with what is the real underlying cause for you to eat when you are not hungry. I get this sense of something inside of you BURSTing to get OUT! And you are fighting against that with all your strength. What that is, is not as important as the need for it to come 'out' for/from you. This could be a huge and scary 'thing' or perhaps you will find it only seems that way because it has 'grown' so 'big' in your mind that you fear you will be destroyed by it? Allowing this monster to get out could be a powerful event. And one that you are well advised to prepare yourself for so that you can not only 'survive' this event, but also come away from it cleansed and re-newed. I would even go so far as to create a setting and 'script' for this much like a stage play? Include any meaningful and helpful people who you trust and are able to 'play' along with you. Or just visualize such a thing in your mind. BEST WISHES and strong support that you can and will succeed with this important break through!! Lots of hugs - Katcha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 wrote: > THEN if I sit with it - I can avoid a binge. My problem is that I still > CHOOSE to binge sometimes, but it usually works for me. Hm, I think the only reason I could avoid a binge until yesterday was that I was already in bed, having my teeth brushed. Usually the urge was gone in the morning, but not yesterday. Regards s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Katcha wrote: > It seems to me that you feel you MUST RESIST urges, especially binges. > This sounds way too much like a RULE and it does not surprise me one bit > that you are rebelling (urges increase). *sigh* Yes, I think you're right. I could never identify with the " eat out of mouth hunger when you feel it " as the authors of OO have written. It scares me. If I don't resist when I feel mouth hunger, I will eat out of mouth hunger forever and I'm going to get fatter and that would be bad for my health. > Maybe if you could embrace the > urge feeling and seek to understand what is DRIVING it, then you could > more successfully deal with what is the real underlying cause for you to > eat when you are not hungry. I get this sense of something inside of you > BURSTing to get OUT! And you are fighting against that with all your > strength. I don't know what is driving my urges to stuff myself lately. Maybe it IS the " usual stuff " like increasing anxiety and pressure, maybe it is " only " that I made " I MUST resist mouth hunger " into a strict rule[1], but maybe it could also be that thing that wants to burst out. I can't think of something special right now, but I will keep that in mind for sure. Really big monsters (like huge grief, anger, depression etc.) tend to do the opposite for me: I don't want to eat. But maybe holding them back robs me of the energy to resist mouth hunger? Hmmm... > What that is, is not as important as the need for it to come 'out' > for/from you. This could be a huge and scary 'thing' or perhaps you will > find it only seems that way because it has 'grown' so 'big' in your mind > that you fear you will be destroyed by it? I think it's the later as I tend to " blow things up " with time but I'm not 100% sure yet. Thanks for your answer! s. [1] I'm quite tempted to put a bet on that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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