Re: sensitive subject, very little CC, talking about intimacy, apology from Patrice

[Guest guest]

Hi Le and group, Gee, I guess I should apologize

to anyone I've offended. I was trying to be honest

with my feelings and trying to offer advice according

to what Sheila was referring to. Yes, I realize sex

and intimacy are two different things, and my entire

post was not on the big " s " word. It was suppossed

to be about feeling good about yourself, in spite of

your physical condition, which is something I have

been struggling with myself. My husband and I have

been together for 15 years and of course have been

through many trying times, as we all have. I felt I

handled this " taboo subject " with the respect it

deserves in our relationships. Again, I truly

apologize for offending any of you. My best,

~~Patrice

--- Le King wrote:

> I know that the S** word is a quazi-taboo topic on

> e-boards. But,

> nonetheless, here is my two cents.

>

> I think the best way to handle this topic is with

> honesty and totally

> open communication with your spouse.

>

> Probably one of the best ways my hubby and I have

> dealt with this is

> by making our times together as non-goal oriented.

>

> We have been married almost 14 years now, and I can

> say some of our

> most precious times together, did not end with a

> goal in mind.

>

> It is so rare nowadays to have total, one-on-one,

> no distraction

> time, and recognizing how precious time is, we have

> made a pact to

> have intimacy at times, without a goal.

>

> This kind of time together helped us get thru:

> three high risk

> pregnancies, a hysterectomy, several TMJ surgeries,

> and recovery from

> a hernia.

>

> By laying out the guidelines that there is no

> end-goal, it takes the

> pressure off either of us to " preform " and it is

> pure, glorious,

> intimacy in its greatest, purest form.

>

> We will also be planning our post decompression

> surgery time this way

> too, and I am looking forward to having great

> intimacy even with the

> " no-sex for six weeks " time period.

>

> For those whom have read this, if I have offended

> anyone, I

> appologize in advance.

>

> My thought about this type of topic, we are all in

> the same boat, and

> if one of us figures out a better way to row their

> oar, then it can

> only help those of use who can use the help.

> Le

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>