Re: Holidays, Family, Emotions

[Guest guest]

My sister and I have no family left to go with for Christmas. However, we have a

friends who are considering family to us as well. They invited us over. To be

honest there were no emotional issues anywhere. Fact all of us have had

wonderful time and catch up chatted. Nobody crictal over anyone's eating habit.

I am not only one diabetic at that place and for that I feel really relax and

calm enough to actually enjoy eats. So good foods there yet odd enough I didn't

eat that much as 3 of others eat quite a lot. Hey, long as everyone enjoy the

dinner and that's good enough for everyone.

I am sorry that you have to go through that situation. Whatever your name is?

Eliza

>

> I think next year I will go on vacation for Christmas!

>

> I got my mom a yogurt maker because she asked for it, only to find out that

she wants it for her lap band surgery, for which she has made an appointment,

and so I apparently was not successful in trying to talk her out of it.

>

> My grandmother said that I shouldn't need any lunch breaks today (working 13

hours) because, after all, I SIT at my job (translation--you are lazy and don't

need any more food). She also tried to tell my mom that she wouldn't need the

lap band surgery if she would just be more strict with her eating (mom has been

starving herself off an on for decades). My mom was crying about lack of

willpower (but would never want to hear the truth).

>

> And, to top it all off, I picked the wrong soup. On christmas eve my (other)

grandmother always makes chicken and dumpling soup and clam chowder and I picked

chicken and dumpling...and then wasn't hungry enough for clam chowder. I want

the clam chowder! I feel cheated! LOL

>

> Anyone else sometimes disappointed when you aren't hungry? Anyone else deal

with nasty food issues this holiday season?

>

> I didn't eat for emotional reasons, only ate when hungry, save for a couple

pieces of fudge...but that's normal, right? So I am grateful for that.

Just...driven nuts, lol.

>

[Guest guest]

You know, I think holidays do this to most of us. We have such pressure for the

holidays to be " perfect, " just like in the commercials. But the truth is: People

are *never* perfect...so how would we manage to be perfect on Christmas?

I absolutely love the holidays but they are a double-edge sword. Today I'm

soooooo wiped out and I know it's from a month's worth of stress.

Yes, I definitely have been disappointed that I wasn't hungry enough for

something that looked really good!!! You are not alone.

Hugs,

Mel

>

> I think next year I will go on vacation for Christmas!

>

> I got my mom a yogurt maker because she asked for it, only to find out that

she wants it for her lap band surgery, for which she has made an appointment,

and so I apparently was not successful in trying to talk her out of it.

>

> My grandmother said that I shouldn't need any lunch breaks today (working 13

hours) because, after all, I SIT at my job (translation--you are lazy and don't

need any more food). She also tried to tell my mom that she wouldn't need the

lap band surgery if she would just be more strict with her eating (mom has been

starving herself off an on for decades). My mom was crying about lack of

willpower (but would never want to hear the truth).

>

> And, to top it all off, I picked the wrong soup. On christmas eve my (other)

grandmother always makes chicken and dumpling soup and clam chowder and I picked

chicken and dumpling...and then wasn't hungry enough for clam chowder. I want

the clam chowder! I feel cheated! LOL

>

> Anyone else sometimes disappointed when you aren't hungry? Anyone else deal

with nasty food issues this holiday season?

>

> I didn't eat for emotional reasons, only ate when hungry, save for a couple

pieces of fudge...but that's normal, right? So I am grateful for that.

Just...driven nuts, lol.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Wow, I'm sorry your mom won't listen to you about the surgery; here she has someone, in you, who is so knowledgable about the real solution to eating problems, and she's crying and miserable, but here you are with a wonderful solution and she can't hear you! That must be so frustrating!! But you did do your very best; you can't control your mom; all you can do is give your best input, and it's her decision, and sadly I believe she's making a really bad one. So sorry you have that stress during the holidays.

Sounds like family doesn't know how to support you with this IE approach; they're still lost in diet and restriction land I suppose.

On the holiday, I feel I can do no wrong. That means if I stop at comfortable satiety, that was right, but if I eat several degrees beyond that, that's ok too because even normal eaters eat more on the holiday; some even get stuffed, lol! So I feel so long as I didn't binge I did great. Oh, I'll write more in a few minutes.

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sat, December 26, 2009 10:43:29 AMSubject: Holidays, Family, Emotions

I think next year I will go on vacation for Christmas!I got my mom a yogurt maker because she asked for it, only to find out that she wants it for her lap band surgery, for which she has made an appointment, and so I apparently was not successful in trying to talk her out of it.My grandmother said that I shouldn't need any lunch breaks today (working 13 hours) because, after all, I SIT at my job (translation- -you are lazy and don't need any more food). She also tried to tell my mom that she wouldn't need the lap band surgery if she would just be more strict with her eating (mom has been starving herself off an on for decades). My mom was crying about lack of willpower (but would never want to hear the truth).And, to top it all off, I picked the wrong soup. On christmas eve my (other) grandmother always makes chicken and dumpling soup and clam chowder and I picked chicken and dumpling...and then wasn't hungry enough for clam

chowder. I want the clam chowder! I feel cheated! LOLAnyone else sometimes disappointed when you aren't hungry? Anyone else deal with nasty food issues this holiday season?I didn't eat for emotional reasons, only ate when hungry, save for a couple pieces of fudge...but that's normal, right? So I am grateful for that. Just...driven nuts, lol.

[Guest guest]

Laurie said: Sounds like family doesn't know how to support you with this IE

approach; they're still lost in diet and restriction land I suppose.

wow. I think I need some art skills so I can draw a cartoon of that! Lost in

diet and restriction land....

thanks,

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I guess I can't think of any more to write, even though I said I'd write more :.)

Anyway, hope you feel better now that you're away from family.Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sat, December 26, 2009 10:28:09 PMSubject: Re: Holidays, Family, Emotions

Hi,

Wow, I'm sorry your mom won't listen to you about the surgery; here she has someone, in you, who is so knowledgable about the real solution to eating problems, and she's crying and miserable, but here you are with a wonderful solution and she can't hear you! That must be so frustrating! ! But you did do your very best; you can't control your mom; all you can do is give your best input, and it's her decision, and sadly I believe she's making a really bad one. So sorry you have that stress during the holidays.

Sounds like family doesn't know how to support you with this IE approach; they're still lost in diet and restriction land I suppose.

On the holiday, I feel I can do no wrong. That means if I stop at comfortable satiety, that was right, but if I eat several degrees beyond that, that's ok too because even normal eaters eat more on the holiday; some even get stuffed, lol! So I feel so long as I didn't binge I did great. Oh, I'll write more in a few minutes.

Laurie

From: jln2boys <Jln2boysaol (DOT) com>To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.comSent: Sat, December 26, 2009 10:43:29 AMSubject: [intuitiveEating_ Support] Holidays, Family, Emotions

I think next year I will go on vacation for Christmas!I got my mom a yogurt maker because she asked for it, only to find out that she wants it for her lap band surgery, for which she has made an appointment, and so I apparently was not successful in trying to talk her out of it.My grandmother said that I shouldn't need any lunch breaks today (working 13 hours) because, after all, I SIT at my job (translation- -you are lazy and don't need any more food). She also tried to tell my mom that she wouldn't need the lap band surgery if she would just be more strict with her eating (mom has been starving herself off an on for decades). My mom was crying about lack of willpower (but would never want to hear the truth).And, to top it all off, I picked the wrong soup. On christmas eve my (other) grandmother always makes chicken and dumpling soup and clam chowder and I picked chicken and dumpling...and then wasn't hungry enough for clam

chowder. I want the clam chowder! I feel cheated! LOLAnyone else sometimes disappointed when you aren't hungry? Anyone else deal with nasty food issues this holiday season?I didn't eat for emotional reasons, only ate when hungry, save for a couple pieces of fudge...but that's normal, right? So I am grateful for that. Just...driven nuts, lol.

[Guest guest]

LOL

>

> gee, maybe we can make that into a board game; " Diet and Restriction Land "

instead of " Candy Land " .

> If you eat past full, you " go to jail " , lol!  If you stop at " just full " you

get to advance two extra spaces.  If you land on the " looked in the mirror and

liked it " you advance 10 extra spaces!!  If you thought, " I'm fat and ugly "

then you have to go back two spaces.  You get the idea :.) 

>

> Laurie

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Sent: Sat, December 26, 2009 11:18:32 PM

> Subject: Re: Holidays, Family, Emotions

>

>  

>

> Laurie said: Sounds like family doesn't know how to support you with this IE

approach; they're still lost in diet and restriction land I suppose.

>

> wow. I think I need some art skills so I can draw a cartoon of that! Lost in

diet and restriction land....

>

> thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Family can be so painful to watch some of the things they do to each other and

themselves but you have to know none of it is your fault; no pangs of guilt; no

feeling sorry for them - she is the one making the choice - you can only do so

much for someone that does not care to hear what you have to say. After all

these years and all that I have exhausted of myself and my time trying to help

someone I've finally lost the above feelings for an alcoholic brother. I was

however mad, mad because he chose to get drunk before we picked him up at 8am,

mad that I had to smell stale alcohol breath for a six hour drive, mad because

he still chooses alcohol over everything and anyone. I was however pleased with

myself over Christmas and the visit that I did not over do it by any means and

felt pretty good; I did not stoop and make inappropriate and mean or rude

comments (as much as I wanted to). My mom was not critical of me as she was

busy watching her alcoholic son.

Maybe I'll join you next Christmas in going on vacation-hehe.

Take care,

Jo.

>

> I think next year I will go on vacation for Christmas!

>

> I got my mom a yogurt maker because she asked for it, only to find out that

she wants it for her lap band surgery, for which she has made an appointment,

and so I apparently was not successful in trying to talk her out of it.

>

> My grandmother said that I shouldn't need any lunch breaks today (working 13

hours) because, after all, I SIT at my job (translation--you are lazy and don't

need any more food). She also tried to tell my mom that she wouldn't need the

lap band surgery if she would just be more strict with her eating (mom has been

starving herself off an on for decades). My mom was crying about lack of

willpower (but would never want to hear the truth).

>

> And, to top it all off, I picked the wrong soup. On christmas eve my (other)

grandmother always makes chicken and dumpling soup and clam chowder and I picked

chicken and dumpling...and then wasn't hungry enough for clam chowder. I want

the clam chowder! I feel cheated! LOL

>

> Anyone else sometimes disappointed when you aren't hungry? Anyone else deal

with nasty food issues this holiday season?

>

> I didn't eat for emotional reasons, only ate when hungry, save for a couple

pieces of fudge...but that's normal, right? So I am grateful for that.

Just...driven nuts, lol.

>

[Guest guest]

You are certainly welcome, Jo!

I know I am not in charge of her and it isn't my fault that she is making bad

decisions. It does make me mad that she won't listen, but then, I can't control

that, either. At this point I am trying to decide if I draw a line and refuse

to support her in any way--drives to and from surgery, caretaking afterwards,

etc. Or if I take care of her even though I think she is hurting herself.

>

> Family can be so painful to watch some of the things they do to each other and

themselves but you have to know none of it is your fault; no pangs of guilt; no

feeling sorry for them - she is the one making the choice - you can only do so

much for someone that does not care to hear what you have to say. After all

these years and all that I have exhausted of myself and my time trying to help

someone I've finally lost the above feelings for an alcoholic brother. I was

however mad, mad because he chose to get drunk before we picked him up at 8am,

mad that I had to smell stale alcohol breath for a six hour drive, mad because

he still chooses alcohol over everything and anyone. I was however pleased with

myself over Christmas and the visit that I did not over do it by any means and

felt pretty good; I did not stoop and make inappropriate and mean or rude

comments (as much as I wanted to). My mom was not critical of me as she was

busy watching her alcoholic son.

>

> Maybe I'll join you next Christmas in going on vacation-hehe.

>

> Take care,

> Jo.

>