Need help, really struggling...

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I'm really struggling right now. Any kind words or advice would be

really appreciated.

I don't know how to move forward. I took a few steps back. On

Wednesday, after getting on the scale I was shocked to see how much

weight I've gained. I've been avoiding the scale because I know I've

been overeating...more like bingeing...on sweets mostly. I don't

have too much of a problem with 'real' foods, but a tiny bit of sugar

and I completely lose control. Or give up control. And I know when

I'm doing it that if I could just wait it out, even a half hour, the

craving would go away. But, I just can't seem to stop myself. I

push all the rational thoughts away.

So, Wednesday night I re-signed up for Weight Watchers. And I know

better. I know from experience that dieting doesn't work for me.

Dieting has led me to gain weight, not lose it. That dieting and

calorie counting leads me right to food obsession and bingeing. But

I pushed those thoughts away and told myself, " this time will be

different. " But it wasn't. One 'good' day and two days of

overeating, not at all listening to or honoring my body.

And I'm sitting here now, feeling sick because I've just eaten so

much. Feeling ashamed and sad and wondering why it is so hard for me

to trust, respect, and listen to my body. I guess I just feel like

I'm not good enough the way I am, so it's hard to accept myself at

this weight.

I apologize for the ramble, and I know it's not very uplifting, but I

don't have anyone in my life that I can tell this to who would

understand...

Thank you for reading,