Dealing with fear

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Over the past couple of days of more focus on what and when I'm eating, and

trying to think about what I'm eating, I've started to realise what I've been

doing for the last few years. I've had a tendency to keep myself slightly

hungry the whole time, and then nibble and eat continuously all evening.

As a fill in, I had anorexia a few years ago, and I think this restricting

behaviour is left over from that, as is the fear which is now surfacing whenever

I feel satisfied during the day. I've found myself eating a lot more often, and

not having that continuous hunger feeling, and I'm feeling really scared. Can

anyone relate to this and how do you deal with it?

I have stopped myself from looking at my body in the mirror every day, as this

is about building myself a healthy relationship with food and I don't want any

perceived weight change to make me abandon ship.

Thanks

[Guest guest]

, just being able to really notice your feelings is a BIG step for you.

These feelings are a clue for you to better understand 'why' you eat for

non-body reasons. Don't worry if you can pin them down and conquer them

immediately. That would be a very tall order and one that most of us can't

manage all at once either. If you just pat yourself on your back for this

fabulous step and let it 'be', you can then get ready for another step too.

Forcing one's self forward is more likely to back fire if not short change the

accomplishment by rushing it. Smile and say GOOD JOB! and do whatever you need

to do in the eating department. The IE journey is a life time of accomplishments

and lessons. You have lots of time so enjoy the trip too.

BEST to you - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi,

>

> Over the past couple of days of more focus on what and when I'm eating, and

trying to think about what I'm eating, I've started to realise what I've been

doing for the last few years. I've had a tendency to keep myself slightly

hungry the whole time, and then nibble and eat continuously all evening.

>

> As a fill in, I had anorexia a few years ago, and I think this restricting

behaviour is left over from that, as is the fear which is now surfacing whenever

I feel satisfied during the day. I've found myself eating a lot more often, and

not having that continuous hunger feeling, and I'm feeling really scared. Can

anyone relate to this and how do you deal with it?

>

> I have stopped myself from looking at my body in the mirror every day, as this

is about building myself a healthy relationship with food and I don't want any

perceived weight change to make me abandon ship.

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I felt very scared when I first started non-dieting; it takes time to develop trust that this process works and trust that any weight fluctuation will be temporary and eventually the naturally healthy weight will be reached as a side effect of developing a healthy relationship with food.

I'm very familiar with the emotion of fear; I can tell you that you'd be surprised how you can tolerate and sit with feeling afraid without eating; I mean it's not fun but I do it often and have done it often with regards to other issues from childhood. I've heard of developing one's emotional muscle; it really is true.

Good luck,

Laurie

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, December 17, 2009 4:16:15 AMSubject: Dealing with fear

Hi,Over the past couple of days of more focus on what and when I'm eating, and trying to think about what I'm eating, I've started to realise what I've been doing for the last few years. I've had a tendency to keep myself slightly hungry the whole time, and then nibble and eat continuously all evening.As a fill in, I had anorexia a few years ago, and I think this restricting behaviour is left over from that, as is the fear which is now surfacing whenever I feel satisfied during the day. I've found myself eating a lot more often, and not having that continuous hunger feeling, and I'm feeling really scared. Can anyone relate to this and how do you deal with it?I have stopped myself from looking at my body in the mirror every day, as this is about building myself a healthy relationship with food and I don't want any perceived weight change to make me abandon

ship.Thanks

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have the same fears... when I'm not hungry and my stomach feels full or

when I think that I'm on the brink of gaining weight, I actually get very tense

(which leads to painful body aches and acid reflux sometimes that I'm learning

to control through relaxation exercises and stretching/yoga). My body is loose

and relaxed, and my mood is much higher when I'm hungry.

I think there is some anxiety when the hunger sensation is gone. This

makes me think of how some people say that anorexia is like a friend, and when

(s)he is gone, you miss them and maybe you're even anxious and/or sad. Maybe

that physical sensation has been somewhat of an emotional crutch for you, and

without you're feeling uncomfortable emotions. I don't know what advice to give

you except to notice your feelings, accept them, and sit with/through them. In

time, they will change.

--

>

> Hi,

>

> Over the past couple of days of more focus on what and when I'm eating, and

trying to think about what I'm eating, I've started to realise what I've been

doing for the last few years. I've had a tendency to keep myself slightly

hungry the whole time, and then nibble and eat continuously all evening.

>

> As a fill in, I had anorexia a few years ago, and I think this restricting

behaviour is left over from that, as is the fear which is now surfacing whenever

I feel satisfied during the day. I've found myself eating a lot more often, and

not having that continuous hunger feeling, and I'm feeling really scared. Can

anyone relate to this and how do you deal with it?

>

> I have stopped myself from looking at my body in the mirror every day, as this

is about building myself a healthy relationship with food and I don't want any

perceived weight change to make me abandon ship.

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the advice, I think it's important for me to remember that this is a

process and I don't have to do it all at once!

The comment about hunger being an emotional crutch has I think hit very close to

the mark. I think it's become such a 'normal' feeling to be slightly hungry all

the time, almost like a safety net, that losing that feeling is making me

anxious. It's true that in full blown anorexia the starvation feelings can

almost give a 'high', I think the trouble is anorexia takes over your life to

such an extent that it has the danger of almost becoming your identity, and

losing it is hard - even though I thought I had done it, it seems that there is

some left.

I'm going to spend some time working through these fears, and working out where

they stem from. The other main challenge for me then is working out satiety, as

I've mostly either stopped eating too early, or gone on eating long past.

A work in progress!

And I've eaten more guilt free cake in the last four days than I have in the

last four years :) :)

>

> Hi,

>

> Over the past couple of days of more focus on what and when I'm eating, and

trying to think about what I'm eating, I've started to realise what I've been

doing for the last few years. I've had a tendency to keep myself slightly

hungry the whole time, and then nibble and eat continuously all evening.

>

> As a fill in, I had anorexia a few years ago, and I think this restricting

behaviour is left over from that, as is the fear which is now surfacing whenever

I feel satisfied during the day. I've found myself eating a lot more often, and

not having that continuous hunger feeling, and I'm feeling really scared. Can

anyone relate to this and how do you deal with it?

>

> I have stopped myself from looking at my body in the mirror every day, as this

is about building myself a healthy relationship with food and I don't want any

perceived weight change to make me abandon ship.

>

> Thanks

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is awesome!!! :-D I remember when I first read the Intuitive Eating book:

I was in a & Noble, and I picked it up and sat down to read. When I came

to the part about not labeling foods as " good/bad " I noticed that I was

physically hungry, and went over to the Starbucks located inside the bookstore

and bought a few madeline cookies - I savored them and felt so courageous! It

was the beginning of giving myself permission to grow (physically, mentally, and

emotionally). Cake is awesome. It's just a fact.

I, too, am struggling to learn that concept of satiety. I imagine that it's

easy for previous restricters to stop before they've had enough, because what

they've just eaten was MORE than they ate in the past - so how could it still

not be enough?! ENOUGH (not too little, and not too much) is a concept every

emotional eater needs to relearn.

--

>

> Thanks for the advice, I think it's important for me to remember that this is

a process and I don't have to do it all at once!

>

> The comment about hunger being an emotional crutch has I think hit very close

to the mark. I think it's become such a 'normal' feeling to be slightly hungry

all the time, almost like a safety net, that losing that feeling is making me

anxious. It's true that in full blown anorexia the starvation feelings can

almost give a 'high', I think the trouble is anorexia takes over your life to

such an extent that it has the danger of almost becoming your identity, and

losing it is hard - even though I thought I had done it, it seems that there is

some left.

>

> I'm going to spend some time working through these fears, and working out

where they stem from. The other main challenge for me then is working out

satiety, as I've mostly either stopped eating too early, or gone on eating long

past.

>

> A work in progress!

>

> And I've eaten more guilt free cake in the last four days than I have in the

last four years :) :)