Re: BBF

[Guest guest]

Snug fits - of clothing or chairs - can trigger me too. Isn't rather amazing

that we default back to a NEGATIVE? " I'm too fat " , " I have failed " " I MUST diet

now " all that comes tumbling upON us. Yet with all those LOUD voices shouting at

us, I know that there is this desperate little voice coming from withIN me

saying - " We (external 'you' and internal 'me') are still here and we are

calling out in the ONLY way we know we will be 'heard' - by your eyes and skin

sensors. " If I can put my fingers in my ears to shut out the shouting gremlins

shoulding me from all sides, close my eyes that are seeing the mirror with

'should' vision, and listen for that sweet soft voice that is STILL telling me

that this body is a wonder devoted to me, perhaps I stand a chance of connecting

and supporting that lovely and fabulous INNER person that deserves all the love

I don't get from anyone else.

Consider the 'tight' chair a HUG and one that you need to feel too. I so

understand your struggles and admire your dedication to finding and doing what

is right for YOU.

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I experience a lot of BBF lately (including now, triggered by an arm

> chair I sat in; didn't feel that narrow a few months ago). I can't

> discuss the weight gain and frequent overeating away anymore.

>

> The urge to go on a diet and start an exercise program is very strong

> right now. It feels like a deserved punishment for " not having followed

> the rules " for so long.

>

> I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe just because to write it down.

>

> I feel like my mood has dropped within an instant a few minutes ago

> after sitting in this narrower-than-a-few-months-ago armchair. I didn't

> expect it to be so narrow.

>

> Sounds quite ridiculous to be so set up about this, right? But I can't

> help it. I feel so incredibly FAT. All of a sudden I'm worried that my

> working clothes will be too tight after two weeks of vacation (not sure

> if that is a rational thought, maybe not). I feel like I have to start

> restricting my food intake RIGHT NOW. It still feels so much like the

> natural reaction to having gained weight.

>

> Help? :-(

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Styxia: I recognize you from the F & F board. The best 'help' I can offer is

chapter 12 (Principle 8: Respect Your Body) of the " Intuitive Eating " book by

Tribole and Resch. If you don't have or haven't read that book, the authors'

best reply to your BBF comments is to ask: " Has all the self-loathing because of

your body helped? Has dwelling on your imperfect body parts helped you to become

leaner, or merely make you feel worse? Does chewing yourself out every time you

step on the scale make your weight any less? "

If you overeat to cope with bad feelings, self-loathing only increases your need

to overeat to cope with feeling bad about your body. Severely restricting your

intake to cope with those bad feelings feels 'natural' because the diet and

fitness industry bombard us with 'change your shape, change your life' messages

at this time of year. However, you're probably already familiar with overeating

or even binge eating reactions to restriction.

I'm not disagreeing with your suspicions about weight gain. I'm merely saying

that harsh judgment or condemnation of your body won't help you sustain eating

habit changes that could eventually change your body. I'm sure you know that

changing your body size is a long term process. Most people can't sustain habit

change motivated only by guilt, shame or even fear. They need positive

reinforcement for their efforts. Seeing numbers on the scale go down or fitting

into smaller clothing sizes seems like great motivation. However, those changes

don't happen immediately. So we need immediate ways to feel better now, when we

feel the worst about our bodies.

The IE book chapter on 'Respect Your Body' suggests ways to feel good now in

your body such as respectfully feeding your body, dressing your body

comfortably, moving your body comfortably, and treated with dignity. I suspect

that respectfully feeding your body means neither extreme restriction or

'stuffing'. Neither extreme is comfortable. Restrictive clothing just

exacerbates body condemnation. Condemning, rather than respectful, self-talk

just increases bad feelings, with which many people cope by overeating, which

just perpetuates the 'bad body' feelings.

Perhaps you can utilize those urges, to 'do something now' about your body, to

challenge your body condemning self-talk and then read or reread the IE book by

Tribole and Resch, especially chapter 12 about respecting your body.

SUE

>

> I experience a lot of BBF lately (including now, triggered by an arm

> chair I sat in; didn't feel that narrow a few months ago). I can't

> discuss the weight gain and frequent overeating away anymore.

>

> The urge to go on a diet and start an exercise program is very strong

> right now. It feels like a deserved punishment for " not having followed

> the rules " for so long.

>

> I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe just because to write it down.

>

> I feel like my mood has dropped within an instant a few minutes ago

> after sitting in this narrower-than-a-few-months-ago armchair. I didn't

> expect it to be so narrow.

>

> Sounds quite ridiculous to be so set up about this, right? But I can't

> help it. I feel so incredibly FAT. All of a sudden I'm worried that my

> working clothes will be too tight after two weeks of vacation (not sure

> if that is a rational thought, maybe not). I feel like I have to start

> restricting my food intake RIGHT NOW. It still feels so much like the

> natural reaction to having gained weight.

>

> Help? :-(

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

s.

I don't know how many other posts you have read, but I have been having a lot of

frustration with my weight recently and feeling a need to go on a diet. I know

I am happier when I am in a certain weight range (and not just because of

societal expectations- over a certain weight range I can't sit the ways I want

to sit or do all the activities I want to do). I do think that your body tells

you when it is outside it's ideal range. However, I think deciding to mentally

overcome a physical imbalance is a learned response. This is how I see it:

Observation

*Physical imbalance: you are above your ideal body weight range

Choice

*Physical response to observation: You listen to your body's cues and are

satiated with less food than normal and/or you crave lower calorie foods

*Mental response to observation: You ignore your body's cues, eat less than your

body desires and do not eat the foods your body tells you it wants to eat.

Result

*Result of choosing the physical response: Your weight slowly trends downward

until you are in your ideal range. Your hunger and food choices change as this

happens to ultimately keep you in the range it desires.

*Result of choosing the mental response: Your weight drops at the rate you can

will yourself to bear for as long as you have the " willpower " to maintain your

mental choices. Your body realizes its cues are being ignored ( " willpower " is

another word for ignoring your physical cues) and sends increasingly desperate

signals for you to eat and constantly reminds you of what foods you could be

eating. When you reach the range you desire (or lose your ability) you have

lost connection with you hunger signals and changed your biochemistry so you

crave food in greater quantities and richer foods (which will cause weight

gain). Your only options are to try to stay in the range by using " willpower "

(keeping you in a constant struggle) or to try to follow your body's signals

(likely causing weight gain to levels above where you started before your

biochemistry has stabilized and you can recognize your hunger cues).

Considering it this way, your two choices are

1) Long, slow, natural weight normalization followed by relatively effortless

weight maintenance

2) An unknown speed and success of weight lowering now but there will never be a

point where you will stay in the weight range you desire without constant

struggle.

While I feel the pull towards dieting all the time, when I try to look at it all

logically, IE looks rational and dieting looks futile. For a long time I felt I

deserved to be hungry (and as a result cold and sick) as punishment for all the

times I had overeaten and while it may have temporarily corrected the physical

imbalance it totally screwed up my ability to choose physical responses (I ate

more than my body asked for as soon as I was done " helping it " correct my

weight). All I can say is that I'm resisting imposing a mental response on my

body and it helps to know that there are others out there who are having the

same difficulties as I am but who are resisting too.

Best of luck

~

>

> I experience a lot of BBF lately (including now, triggered by an arm

> chair I sat in; didn't feel that narrow a few months ago). I can't

> discuss the weight gain and frequent overeating away anymore.

>

> The urge to go on a diet and start an exercise program is very strong

> right now. It feels like a deserved punishment for " not having followed

> the rules " for so long.

>

> I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe just because to write it down.

>

> I feel like my mood has dropped within an instant a few minutes ago

> after sitting in this narrower-than-a-few-months-ago armchair. I didn't

> expect it to be so narrow.

>

> Sounds quite ridiculous to be so set up about this, right? But I can't

> help it. I feel so incredibly FAT. All of a sudden I'm worried that my

> working clothes will be too tight after two weeks of vacation (not sure

> if that is a rational thought, maybe not). I feel like I have to start

> restricting my food intake RIGHT NOW. It still feels so much like the

> natural reaction to having gained weight.

>

> Help? :-(

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Styxia:

No, you didn't offend me, but I'm sorry that I offended you. Your reply taught

me that I should have just shared my own experience. I have frequently struggled

with BBF, but mine is soooo irrational because I am thin but go through episodes

of thinking I was 'fat and ugly' (which sounds rather anorexic). I started an

earlier thread on this board about 'fat and ugly' which described more of my BBF

experiences. I thought I was 'fat and ugly', because I had unexpected stomach

bloat caused by food allergies and intestinal infections. So I didn't think

sharing my experience would help. Obviously, just quoting from the IE book

didn't help either.

What helped me cope with my 'fat and ugly' attacks was challenging my condemning

self-talk with questions like " who says I'm fat? " , " who says I'm ugly? " , " what

part of my body is 'fat'? " , " Does that make my whole appearance ugly? " , " Who

else told me I'm fat? " (My mother, brother and father did repeatedly when I was

very young, but thin with a bloated belly.) " Do I really want to let other

people's comments dicate how I feel about myself? " When I finally realize that

my bloated abdomen is making me think I'm 'fat', I remind myself that 'bloat'

isn't the same as 'fat'. However, I still have to ask myself " Who says bloat is

'ugly'?'

Perhaps, you will need different questions to challenge your condemning

self-talk, depending on what you say to yourself. However, talking back to

those condemning thoughts is my best approach.

I also dress myself in comfortable clothes on 'bloat' days. In fact I have some

very flattering garments which disguise my 'bloat' and emphasize my thinner body

parts. So I look more attractive wearing my bloat garments than I do in some of

my 'flat tummy' garments. Fortunately avoiding my food allergens and

successfully (hopefully) treating and eliminating my c-diff bacterial infection

should keep my tummy flat (when I don't take high dose probiotics).

Nevertheless, I may still need to talk back to my condemning voice when some

garments don't fit as well as I expect.

I hope that helps. Thanks for honestly telling me how my original comment

affected you. Still learning ...

SUE

>

> > " Has all the

> > self-loathing because of your body helped? Has dwelling on your imperfect

> > body parts helped you to become leaner, or merely make you feel worse?

> > Does chewing yourself out every time you step on the scale make your

> > weight any less? "

>

> What made me always a bit irritated about these lines when reading them

> in books is the fact that it sounds a bit like one would beat oneself up

> because it's some kind of pleasure. It started to make me kind of angry

> lately as these negative thoughts creep up on their own and I'm trying

> to fight them but keep losing the battle.

>

> It's NOT like I sit in a chair and say to myself " Wheeeee, let's beat

> myself up and have some BBT today! Maybe it will help me lose weight!

> Fun Fun! "

>

> I don't want to offend you. I appreciate your reply but what I need more

> is strategies to silence these voices that keep creeping up unwanted.:-(

>

> You're saying " harsh judgement doesn't help " . I feel a bit irritated

> right now. I mean, I KNOW that. I feel like getting a lecture I already

> got countless times from reading the books and the boards.

>

> However, this lecture I already know has always left me with a big

> question: " How to silence the voices?! How to prevent them from creeping

> up and catching me off guard and throwing me into a mess of BBTs? "

>

> If you have an idea to solve that problem I'd be very glad to read about

> it and I hope I didn't offend you. If I did, please say so and we can

> talk it out.

>

> I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

s, in one of your posts, you comment, "Now that I look over my mail again I feel quite overwhelmed." It sounds as if you have a full plate right now with family issues and the demands of your medical training. Why add any additional stressors (like dieting) to your life? Overeating is probably your way of coping right now, but exercise may help with stress relief.

I have only been IEing for about two months now. And it may be stupid of me but I occasionally weigh myself. Sometimes I get a little panicky when I see I've gained about 20 or so pounds since I stopped going to WW a few months ago, but my weight has been stable. For right now, that is my goal. And I've discovered that my biggest enemy are my thoughts/statements. Principle 4: Challenge the Food Police has been helpful with trying to consciously catch negative thoughts/statements and replace with more positive ones as Tribole and Resch suggest.

Wishing you all the best in 2010.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Styxia, your post seemed very thoughtful and focused to me. I do not sense so

much negative reactions from you regarding what you are feeling about IE in your

life. Puzzled, yes a little, but that is usual for us all I am not surprised

that -

" people are really giving a **** about my decisions and opinions. "

Hey, you ARE a smart and hard working person too! I could get silly-wise and say

something like " if you were not challenged by eating, you would be PERFECT and

be bored with life " (joking of course!) The truth is that you do deserve to be

and make yourself as happy as possible in your life. IE is not about how much

time we 'work on it', its an enhancement for our lives that we gift (yes,

present is more correct for you ;-) ourselves with. I know you are doing your

best and will continue to do so too.

ehugs, Katcha

>

> > Consider the 'tight' chair a HUG and one that you need to feel too. I so

> > understand your struggles and admire your dedication to finding and doing

> > what is right for YOU.

>

> Thanks for your reply. At the moment I feel quite lost. What IS the

> right thing for me to do? After being so long into IE it may sound

> ridiculous but I feel like being in a crisis.

>

> I have a few theories why that is, one being that I entered the " working

> world " in a way I didn't before. Before my final exam I always worked. I

> had different jobs and most of them I liked. I worked at several

> hospitals for several weeks and some of that was not pleasant as I had

> to work on wards I'd never would have worked if I had been given a

> choice[1].

>

> Now I'm working in a department I CHOSE to work. I was free to take or

> leave this job. I love that job. My probation time is almost over and I

> think I can stay (at least my boss has a lot of plans that include me).

>

> It feels so unfamiliar that people are really giving a **** about my

> decisions and opinions. Med students are only used to be - well - the

> STUDENT, not the DOCTOR. I felt quite inadequate in the beginning,

> having to ask a LOT of questions and still having a lot of questions.

> Ok, this is rather natural when keeping in mind that resident time is 60

> months and I'm only 5 months into it. I felt completely overwhelmed at

> times.

>

> Probation time is another one of these nerve wrecking things I

> experienced lately. Six months of not truly knowing if you can stay at

> this place you would love working for at least some years? Not fine.

>

> I now see that this time wasn't the time for losing weight (even though

> I hoped that now finally working in a job I liked would help it; quite

> naive now that I think about it, having not considered the stress that

> change causes) as there was so much going on. Yet, this feels like a

> lame excuse and not like a sensible explanation why IE and losing weight

> was lower in my list priorities. I'm also still working on my

> dissertation.

>

> I have to admit it: I have different priorities right now and have a

> hard time accepting that. If I wouldn't gain weight I think I could live

> with that though, but I see that I have to do something as I notice that

> my blood sugar values are not under the same good control as they were a

> while ago.

>

> There are also some family problems as well as I came to hear over

> X-mas. My sister is really losing it after she lost her job in autumn.

>

> Now that I look over my mail again I feel quite overwhelmed.

>

> Regards

> s.

>

> [1] Med students have to work in several fields and if you're not really

> truly into the " big main stuff " you have to white knuckle through it

> anyway.

>

[Guest guest]

Stixia, The only thing that comes to my mind would be to confront these 'voices'

with a strong " Who says?!! " These voices are like bullies which only respond to

a real show of strength. (my experience anyway) This can be very frightening and

even difficult to do especially when you have already reacted to these

brow-beating meanies! But its also never too late and always your right to

defend yourself AND decide what is right for you. Politely tell these voices to

go live their OWN lives and respect that you will do the same for yourself too

Big HUGS - Katcha

>

> However, this lecture I already know has always left me with a big

> question: " How to silence the voices?! How to prevent them from creeping

> up and catching me off guard and throwing me into a mess of BBTs? "

>

> If you have an idea to solve that problem I'd be very glad to read about

> it and I hope I didn't offend you. If I did, please say so and we can

> talk it out.

>

> I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

J W ELLER wrote:

> Overeating is

> probably your way of coping right now, but exercise may help with stress

> relief.

I recently started yoga. The only effect of that was that I now do

engage in yoga AND overeating. :-/

Happy New Year!

s.

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue,

thanks for your reply.

sue wrote:

> Perhaps, you will need different questions to challenge your condemning

> self-talk, depending on what you say to yourself. However, talking back

> to those condemning thoughts is my best approach.

Yes, I think maybe talking back IS the way to go though that doesn't

prevent these thoughts from creeping up. I wonder if there really IS a

way to prevent them?

Regarding the kind of self-talk (difference between feeling fat and

being fat) I was lucky and got a reply from a member that seems to be in

my weight range on another group because (as you have already suggested)

a question like " Who says I'm fat? " doesn't make much sense to a person

that IS fat.

> I hope that helps. Thanks for honestly telling me how my original comment

> affected you. Still learning ...

I'm glad I'm a member of a group where we can talk about these things

like grown up people. :-)

Happy New Year!

s.

[Guest guest]

jain_daugh wrote:

> Stixia, The only thing that comes to my mind would be to confront these

> 'voices' with a strong " Who says?!! " These voices are like bullies which

> only respond to a real show of strength. (my experience anyway) This can

> be very frightening and even difficult to do especially when you have

> already reacted to these brow-beating meanies! But its also never too late

> and always your right to defend yourself AND decide what is right for you.

> Politely tell these voices to go live their OWN lives and respect that you

> will do the same for yourself too

Maybe that is the way to go. I don't have a problem talking back when I

think someone is wrong but I find it incredibly hard to talk back to

someone (i. e. the voices) when I think this someone is right.

Happy New Year!

s.

[Guest guest]

jain_daugh wrote:

> Hey, you ARE a smart and hard working person too! I could get silly-wise

> and say something like " if you were not challenged by eating, you would be

> PERFECT and be bored with life " (joking of course!)

There were times when I really thought " WHat would I do with my thinking

time when there is not food and weight to think about? "

> The truth is that you

> do deserve to be and make yourself as happy as possible in your life. IE

> is not about how much time we 'work on it', its an enhancement for our

> lives that we gift (yes, present is more correct for you ;-) ourselves

> with. I know you are doing your best and will continue to do so too.

I like the idea of a present though IE feels more like a chore to me.

Maybe your mail will help ro reframe. :-)

Happy New Year!

s.

[Guest guest]

Hi Styxia: GREAT QUESTION! Preventing those (self-condemning) thoughts seems to

be essential for preventing BBF. What helped me to both talk back to and reduce

the frequency of my bad body ('fat and ugly'?) thoughts was reading what

Koenig says in chapter 4 of " Rules of Normal Eating " . She says: " The chatter in

your head IS your irrational beliefs about food, eating, weight, and your body,

elbowing themselves into your mind. " Then she suggests some ways to 'turn off

the chatter, such as 'writing them (the negative self talk) down' so that you

can 'keep a chatter list and read it once in a while to remind yourself whatyour

own particular brand of nonsense-thinking sounds like. When you get a blast of

chatter, step up to the plate and challenge it ... Take each line of chatter and

replace it with a rational thought or belief. Proclaim the new belief loudly and

proudly. "

continues to describe the process of identifying, challenging and changing

the irrational beliefs behind the 'chatter' or self-condemning voices in chapter

5, as she talks about 'reframing' what we're thinking when we hear negative

self-talk. She lists several examples of unhelpful beliefs about weight and our

bodies and pairs those beliefs with more rational beliefs.

I suspect my self-talk and beliefs differ from yours. So I won't describe

exactly what beliefs I discovered, challenged and reframed. However reading (or

rereading) 's 'Rules of Normal Eating' book can give you more details about

reframing the beliefs behind BBF self-talk. Nevertheless, also warns

" Giving up irrational thinking and a lifelong twisted obseesion with food is not

for the faint of heart. You cannot merely tweak your beliefs ... and suddenly

awake the next morning a model 'normal eater' ... It is hard, hard work to

unlearn decades of unhealthy thinking and habits and then develop and relearn

healthy replacements ... But the rewards are like none other. " I totally agree!

SUE

>

> Yes, I think maybe talking back IS the way to go though that doesn't

> prevent these thoughts from creeping up. I wonder if there really IS a

> way to prevent them?

[Guest guest]

sue wrote:

> However

> reading (or rereading) 's 'Rules of Normal Eating' book can give you

> more details about reframing the beliefs behind BBF self-talk.

I'm re-reading some books right now. I have to look where I put that

book. After moving two times in might still be in a box of books. I

couldn't find IE either, only WWSHTB.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Hi Styxia: Chapter 3 of WWSHTB also describes how to clear your mind of bad body

thoughts. I don't think the authors specifically talk about 'reframing'.

However, I liked the section on 'decoding a bad body thought'. Chapter 4 about

'befriending your body' also has some helpful suggestions.

SUE

>

> I'm re-reading some books right now. I have to look where I put that

> book. After moving two times in might still be in a box of books. I

> couldn't find IE either, only WWSHTB.

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I am having some trouble understanding some of the acronyms people are using. What book is WWSHTB? and what does BBF mean? thanks,

reezer

>

Hi Styxia: Chapter 3 of WWSHTB also describes how to clear your mind of bad body thoughts. I don't think the authors specifically talk about 'reframing'. However, I liked the section on 'decoding a bad body thought'. Chapter 4 about 'befriending your body' also has some helpful suggestions.

SUE

>

> I'm re-reading some books right now. I have to look where I put that

> book. After moving two times in might still be in a box of books. I

> couldn't find IE either, only WWSHTB.

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Styxia... Have I got that right? I'm still new and a little fuzzy on how

names work.

I just finished a post and saw yours at the top of the list. I'm also so new I

don't know what " BBF " is, but I hear how much something in you is despairing

over the sense of putting on weight and the urge to go back to dieting.

I'm not at all sure what's right for you, but I remember in the 12-step rooms

that we said, in any hour of desperation, just tell yourself that you CAN DO the

thing you hope to avoid ANY TIME YOU WANT. Like tomorrow. As in, I can diet all

I want tomorrow. I can run myself ragged tomorrow...

Restricting, it seems to me, is restricting anything, including dieting! That's

kind of counter-intuitive in an IE world, but think about it - the brain doesn't

really hear " not. " I've concluded this is why a five-year-old, when told " Don't

do that! " does it again (and again!)!

So maybe try to let go of what you shouldn't do - diet - and embrace what you

can do. Love yourself. Give yourself a break. Get an outfit out for work and see

if it fits so you know instead of fretting. Splash some water on your face and

use something nice to make it feel good. Make a cup of tea and snuggle up with

it. Read a book you love. Go out the door and breathe in the fresh air deeply.

Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and write out all the frustrations of

the moment - sort of a " download " until you feel empty of all the worry. Close

your eyes, connect your mind to the part of you that is so desperate about all

this, and say soothing words to it, like " Hello. I know you are there, and I

know you are worried. I'm here and I can be with you and listen to your worries

and all is well. " Or something like that.

Hope some of this helps. And know that there's at least one person out here

cheering for you and sending you loving thoughts.

G'night and Happy New Year!

Barbara

>

> I experience a lot of BBF lately (including now, triggered by an arm

> chair I sat in; didn't feel that narrow a few months ago). I can't

> discuss the weight gain and frequent overeating away anymore.

>

> The urge to go on a diet and start an exercise program is very strong

> right now. It feels like a deserved punishment for " not having followed

> the rules " for so long.

>

> I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe just because to write it down.

>

> I feel like my mood has dropped within an instant a few minutes ago

> after sitting in this narrower-than-a-few-months-ago armchair. I didn't

> expect it to be so narrow.

>

> Sounds quite ridiculous to be so set up about this, right? But I can't

> help it. I feel so incredibly FAT. All of a sudden I'm worried that my

> working clothes will be too tight after two weeks of vacation (not sure

> if that is a rational thought, maybe not). I feel like I have to start

> restricting my food intake RIGHT NOW. It still feels so much like the

> natural reaction to having gained weight.

>

> Help? :-(

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

styxia,

I am new to this group - and i stumbled on to your post and felt that i could

have written it. I too am muddling through this IE and watching my waistline

grow - which is discouraging and sometimes anxiety inducing. Thank you for

posting your thoughts. Just reading what you wrote encouraged me and let me

know that i wasn't the only one. Someone else is struggling on this journey -

it's normal. We'll make it through - i'm cheering for you too.

Awesome encouragement Barbara!

~

> >

> > I experience a lot of BBF lately (including now, triggered by an arm

> > chair I sat in; didn't feel that narrow a few months ago). I can't

> > discuss the weight gain and frequent overeating away anymore.

> >

> > The urge to go on a diet and start an exercise program is very strong

> > right now. It feels like a deserved punishment for " not having followed

> > the rules " for so long.

> >

> > I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe just because to write it down.

> >

> > I feel like my mood has dropped within an instant a few minutes ago

> > after sitting in this narrower-than-a-few-months-ago armchair. I didn't

> > expect it to be so narrow.

> >

> > Sounds quite ridiculous to be so set up about this, right? But I can't

> > help it. I feel so incredibly FAT. All of a sudden I'm worried that my

> > working clothes will be too tight after two weeks of vacation (not sure

> > if that is a rational thought, maybe not). I feel like I have to start

> > restricting my food intake RIGHT NOW. It still feels so much like the

> > natural reaction to having gained weight.

> >

> > Help? :-(

> >

> > Regards

> > s.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

BBF = bad body fever and WWSHTB is When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies (a title

to a book and you can see why most of us turn it into an acronym!)

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Changing my beliefs has been a really slow process, that I'm somewhere in the

middle of (maybe still more at the beginning). A big hot button time for me is

being with my family and I've been doing more of that over the holidays. Right

before I got to my families' the day after Christmas, I chanted to myself, " I

love and adore myself so completely that nothing they say affects me. " I guess

it really worked, because I actually felt beautiful the whole time I was with

them. When we took pictures together, I thought I looked beautiful and curvy

and substantial. I was proud of my body. It was awesome!!!!

Sara

>

> >

> > Yes, I think maybe talking back IS the way to go though that doesn't

> > prevent these thoughts from creeping up. I wonder if there really IS a

> > way to prevent them?

>