Re: Optimism Versus more realistic Pessimism

[Guest guest]

followyourbliss50 wrote:

> I do not want to talk you out of your experiment regarding this--of this

> state or perspective, because I think sometimes by exploring this kind

> of thing we can make some interesting discoveries.

Indeed.

Let me just copy what I wrote as an answer to another mail:

I don't need to convince myself that I'm beautiful to like myself. Ugly

things can be as loveable as beautiful things.

That I think something is ugly or that being fat is ugly or whatever is

ugly doesn't automatically mean it's something that isn't loveable.

Now what has this to do with optimism vs. pessimism?

Do we really need to convince ourselves so badly that we're beautiful

and that there will always be men who'll prefer " larger " women or who

prefer " inner beauty " ? Why? Is it the hidden belief that only being

beautiful in some way is loveable and acceptable?

I think that is whats bothering me. All this work to convince ourselves

that we have " acceptable bodies that are beautiful in their own ways " -

why is that so important? Why not think being ugly AND acceptable is

possible as well? Because of some (IMO rather irrational) belief that

ugly things/beings are not loveable somehow?

Regards

s.

PS: Before a moderator steps in: I can see how that is an unpopular view

and I'm done. :-)

[Guest guest]

>

> I think that is whats bothering me. All this work to convince

ourselves

> that we have " acceptable bodies that are beautiful in their own ways "

-

> why is that so important? Why not think being ugly AND acceptable is

> possible as well? Because of some (IMO rather irrational) belief that

> ugly things/beings are not loveable somehow?

>

> Regards

> s.

>

I like your points, S.

I didn't mean offense by sharing the Healthy Pleasures book.

I have had the experience of being several different sizes in my

lifetime, and for me it is about feeling good from the inside out,

feeling good in my body. I realized I can achieve that at any weight

and that there is no number to get to and there never has been. I had

that insight at a higher weight than I am now--and having it then was a

blessing and very freeing for me.

Regarding beauty and ugliness and cultural ideal. I see the cultural

ideal as like El Dorado. I love the idea of " ugliness and lovable. "

And you know what, an ugly or fat woman who loves herself and is

herself (following her bliss and speaking her mind) gets transformed in

my perception to a very beautiful role model.

[Guest guest]

I follow you. Love and beauty go hand in hand for me. I can acknowledge that

society doesn't see beauty in something/someone, but if I love them, I will see

them as beautiful. I cannot see something I love as ugly.

Sar

> >

> > I think that is whats bothering me. All this work to convince

> ourselves

> > that we have " acceptable bodies that are beautiful in their own ways "

> -

> > why is that so important? Why not think being ugly AND acceptable is

> > possible as well? Because of some (IMO rather irrational) belief that

> > ugly things/beings are not loveable somehow?

> >

> > Regards

> > s.

> >

> I like your points, S.

>

> I didn't mean offense by sharing the Healthy Pleasures book.

>

> I have had the experience of being several different sizes in my

> lifetime, and for me it is about feeling good from the inside out,

> feeling good in my body. I realized I can achieve that at any weight

> and that there is no number to get to and there never has been. I had

> that insight at a higher weight than I am now--and having it then was a

> blessing and very freeing for me.

>

> Regarding beauty and ugliness and cultural ideal. I see the cultural

> ideal as like El Dorado. I love the idea of " ugliness and lovable. "

> And you know what, an ugly or fat woman who loves herself and is

> herself (following her bliss and speaking her mind) gets transformed in

> my perception to a very beautiful role model.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

followyourbliss50 wrote:

> And you know what, an ugly or fat woman who loves herself and is

> herself (following her bliss and speaking her mind) gets transformed in

> my perception to a very beautiful role model.

Once I realised that I don't have to somehow convince myself of my own

(physical) beauty so I could accept myself I felt a big relief

overcoming me.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Yes, that's wonderful, S. ML>> > Once I realised that I don't have to somehow convince myself of my own> (physical) beauty so I could accept myself I felt a big relief> overcoming me.> > Regards> s.>

[Guest guest]

That is the most important thing really. And a positive place to build upon too.

Wonderful for you

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

> Once I realised that I don't have to somehow convince myself of my own

> (physical) beauty so I could accept myself I felt a big relief

> overcoming me.

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

jain_daugh wrote:

> That is the most important thing really. And a positive place to build

> upon too. Wonderful for you

I hope I can build a fine house upon it. :-)

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Styxia, I KNOW you can You have shown a willingness to stick with what YOU

need and that is the best point to work from any of us can use.

BEST to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> > That is the most important thing really. And a positive place to build

> > upon too. Wonderful for you

>

> I hope I can build a fine house upon it. :-)

>

> Regards

> s.

>

[Guest guest]

jain_daugh wrote:

> Styxia, I KNOW you can You have shown a willingness to stick with what

> YOU need and that is the best point to work from any of us can use.

I so hope that I will be able to relax more in the future. Sometimes I

think " relaxation " is a very important keypoint, more than I ever would

have thought.

Regards

s.